"Vincent, can we talk?" I asked him as I stood in the doorway of his room.
"Not now Page." He said in a low voice.
"So you're just going to ignore me? You're just going to start being an asshole again?" I snapped at him.
"If I was ignoring you I wouldn't be talking to you now." He said. I rolled my eyes at him.
"Come on Vincent. We really need to talk." I said.
"Listen, Page, I'm really busy right now. Why don't we have dinner tonight and we can talk then." He said.
"Do you promise?" I asked. He gave me a small smile.
"Yes, baby girl. I promise." He said. I walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He reached up and kissed me sweetly on the lips. "I'm sorry okay?" He asked. I smiled back at him and gave him a wink.
"I'm sorry too," I said as I left the room. The rest of the day dragged on. I was worried about how Vincent was going to take the news I had for him. My choice was to go home, back to New York and now I needed him to know how I was feeling. He would probably hate me when I was done, but how was I ever going to be good for him if I wasn't good to me first. The truth was I didn't know if I loved him or not. I know I'm crazy about him, but I thought I loved Spencer and I was able to let him go. I don't think I even know what love is right now. I've never really had love in my life. I must figure out me before I figure out anyone else. I just hope that he will one day forgive me, but I had to do this. This may sound selfish, but it's what I've got to do.
I got nicely dressed and left my hair down with little makeup. I started to get sadder and sadder as the time got closer to have the talk with Vincent. It wasn't like I wanted to leave him, but I knew what I had to do. I needed to stick to my guns. I went downstairs and waited for him. I had already had my talk with Richard early today. That went over well. He was proud of me for what I was doing, but he knew I was also going to hurt Vincent. He respected me for being honest. Vincent came walking into the room looking amazing and hot as usual. I took a deep breath and went to his arms. One of my favorite places to be was in his arms. I tried to promise myself that I wasn't going to cry, but I knew it wasn't going to work.
We ended up at a very cute little restaurant. That served Italian food. One of my favorites. "Okay baby, start talking." He said. I took a deep breath.
"I'm going back to New York," I said. I watched as his face changed slightly. "This is something that I got to do. I need to figure out me before I can be good for anyone. I don't know who I am. My life has always been for someone else. I care very much for you Vincent and you have been wonderful to me, but in order for me to be wonderful for you. I've got to find myself first." I said. I laid my napkin down and looked into Vincent's eyes. He was just sitting there all quiet.
"So you don't love me?" He asked me. I thought about it for a moment.
"I think that I do, but I can't be sure. I don't even know if I know what love is." I could feel the tears start to sting my eyes. I was upset that I was hurting him, but I think I was more upset by just how confused I felt. I felt so very lost and I needed so desperately to find myself. Vincent took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair.
"As much as I want to beg you not to go. I feel like I have to let you go." He said. I could see the sadness in his eyes. I have always felt that you could see anything in someone's eyes. The eyes can never lie. I knew I was breaking his heart and I could feel mine doing the same. "When are you headed back?" He asked me.
"As soon as your father gives me the say so," I said. "I want to get back to school as soon as possible. I have so much to make up that I will already graduate late." I said. "Your father is setting me up with an apartment close to the school. I need to be alone and work on my goals. Your father wanted me to stay at your family home in New York, but I choose not to. So, he insisted that I at least take an apartment. I'm also not allowed to argue about someone watching over me, like a bodyguard. Vincent smiled.
"Yeah, that sounds like him. He really loves you Page, like a daughter." Vincent said. I smiled at that.
"I know, he has been so good to me and I'll miss him until he gets back to New York," I said.
"I'm going to miss you," Vincent said.
"I'm going to miss you too," I said to him and I laid my head on his shoulder. "Do you hate me?" I asked him.
"I will never hate you baby girl." He said. "Come on let's head home." He said. We both stood up and I turned to face him.
"Take me to your grandparent's home," I said. He looked at me for a moment.
"Are you sure?" He asked me. I nodded at him and we walked out to the car. We pulled up in front of the old house and Vincent turned the car off.
"I really hope you fix this place up. I love it here." I said to him. He smiled at me and we both got out of the car. He took my hand and we went inside. Vincent got a fire started and I took a seat on the blanket that sat in front of the fireplace. Vincent took a seat behind me and I laid back in his arms and just watched the fire flicker. "I wish things were different," I said. "I wish I knew who the hell I was," I said. He held me tighter. I felt him kiss the top of my head.
"Let's not talk about that now. Let's just enjoy the time we have." He said to me. I reached my head back to look up at him and his lips came to mine. His hand went up my neck, behind my ear and in my hair. I've learned that each man is different in their own ways. I've slept with three men in my life. One, I knew in my heart was just a distraction in my life. The other one was my everything. He showed me a whole different world. A world of love and caring and sex. He was dominant in bed and I enjoyed it. Vincent and Spencer are alike in ways that they are strong men. They are powerful men and they have dark sides, but Vincent is romantic in the bedroom. He is soft and sensual. He takes his time exploring my body. He lets me take control and I explore his body. Being with Vincent is a whole new experience for me. Every time we're together it's different and the same at the same time.
"Vincent and I made love most of the night. I woke up in his arms. I could see the daylight coming in and I knew we had to get up and get going. Vincent was a very busy man. I really didn't get a whole lot of time with him. He made time for me, but it was hard on him at times. He could be gone for days sometimes with work. He could even be right in the next room, but he was so busy I still wouldn't see him. These were some things that were on my mind when I was deciding what to with my life. "Vincent baby, we have to get up," I whispered into his ear.
"Nope." He said. I just giggled.
"Life awaits us," I said. He pulled me into his chest.
"I'm doing nothing today but spending time with you." He said. I turned so I could see his face.
"What do you mean?" I asked him.
"I mean, I told everyone that if I was bothered today I will kill them all. I'm pretty sure they all like life." He said with a smile. "Now be quiet woman, so I can sleep." He said. I closed my eyes and fell back asleep. Later that night Vincent and I were on the couch watching a movie, well we were to busy with each other to actually watch, but I was still having a good time. Vincent gets a big kick out of tickling me. It's frustrating because I can't tickle him long enough to cause him to laugh. He is too strong, but he gets to tickle the shit out of me because I'm no match for him. I was screaming at the top of my lungs at him to stop or I would pee on him. It caused everyone to come running into the living room. Vincent stopped to take a look around at everyone. Mickey and Drake just rolled their eyes and walked off. So did most of the other men. Richard leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and just looked at us.
"You two are like teenagers." He said. I giggled and Vincent rolled his eyes.
"Can we help you?" Vincent said and I smack his arm.
"You be nice," I said. He just looked at me and I kissed his nose.
"Yeah, I need to see you two in my office," Richard said.
"See, now we're in trouble," I said to Vincent.
"Babe, I am trouble," Vincent said as he sat me down from his lap and got up. I got up and followed him. We got inside and took a seat on the little sofa in Richards office.
"I've got some news. Page your free to go home whenever you choose. No one is looking for you. You can freely go back to New York and so can I and my men." Richard said. I heard Vincent take a deep breath and suddenly I felt sad.
"I guess that's it." Vincent stood up and said. He took a look at me and walked out of the office. I looked back at Richard and the tears filled my eyes. Richard came and took a seat next to me.
"Don't worry princess. He will be okay." He said.
"Yeah, but will I?" I said. Richard took me in his arms and hugged me.
"Page you poured your heart out the other day about what you needed to do and I agreed with you. This is what's best and if you feel like it's Vincent that you want to be with. If he truly loves you, he will be here waiting for you." Richard said. He made me feel better.
"When do we leave?" I asked him.
"In three days." He said. I took a deep breath and left to find Vincent. I found him on the back porch smoking a cigaret.
"I didn't know you smoked," I said as I stood next to him.
"I don't." He said. I just looked at him funny. Then I just rolled my eyes. I laid my head on his arm.
"Are you going to ignore me now?" I said to him. I felt his arm go around me. He gave me a little squeeze but said nothing.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" I asked him. He took my hand and we walked to my bedroom and closed the door behind us. The next three days went by fast. Vincent and I stayed glued to each other. The morning we were leaving I didn't know where Vincent was. He was going with us all to the airport, but I still hadn't seen him. I grabbed my carry on bag and made my way to the living room where Richard, Mickey, and Drake were waiting. "Where is he?' I asked Richard.
"Page." He started to say.
"No, no way," I said and took off towards Vincent's room. I threw the door open and called out his name, but he was nowhere to be found. Richard came to the door.
"Page he is not here. He wanted me to give you this." Richard said. I turned to look at him as the tears fell down my face. Richard had a piece of paper in his hands. I took the paper and walked out to the car and got in. I shoved the paper in my bag and just stayed quiet. We got to the airport and boarded the private jet. I took a seat away from everyone and just looked out the window as my tears fell. Goodbye Vincent, I said to myself.
The end of BOOK ONE.
Book two out now "I Will Call You Daddy."
Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, M.K. RissenWrite a Review