I told him all about my plans for Paris. He stayed quiet while I told him about my dream. "So, now that I've come into your life, what are your plans?" He asked me.
"I don't know, that's why I'm talking to you about it." I said.
"You mean your still thinking about going?" He asked me. I looked down in the water.
"I'm not sure, what I am sure about is that I love you." He stood up and got out of the tub.
"Then don't go." He said. I turned and looked at him.
"I've been planning this for a very long time Dante, I've even put a down payment on an apartment there." He turned and crossed his arms at me.
"Well it sounds like you have already made up your mind." He sounded upset.
"Dante, all this was done before I met you. Please don't be upset." He took a deep breath.
"It already sounds like you have made up your mind." I just shook my head.
"That's not true. I don't know what I want to do." He walked out of the bathroom. I got up and got out of the tub and grabbed a towel. I walked into the bedroom and he was sitting on the edge of the bed.
"If you truly loved me, you would know what you wanted to do." He said.
"What's that mean?" I asked him.
"It means if you loved me you would stay with me." I took a deep breath.
"Have you ever thought that if you loved me, you would consider coming with me?" He shot his face towards me.
"You know my work is here." He said. I did know that. This wasn't going the way I wanted it to go.
"Dante, I haven't made my mind up yet, but I thought it was right that you knew what was going on." I said. I knew he was upset, because his personality was different. The next morning he wasn't talking to me and he was busy getting ready to go to work. I was dressed and sitting on the couch just watching him. He was keeping to himself while he was getting ready to go. I understand why he is upset, but I felt he was being selfish. "Dante." I said, he ignored me. "Dante." Still nothing. "Okay fine, have it your way. I'm going home. You have yourself a nice day." I grabbed my bag and left. He didn't even try to stop me. I felt the sting of a tear in my eye. He must be really upset. I said to myself. I got back home and walked inside and slammed my things down on the couch. I didn't notice my mother and father sitting there.
"Is everything okay?" My mother asked.
"Oh yeah, everything is great." I said and walked into the kitchen. I pulled out a water bottle and my mother came into the kitchen.
"What's going on?" She asked me. I just looked up at her.
"I talked to Dante about Paris." Oh dear, she said as she took a seat.
"I take it he didn't take it very well." She said. I just looked down and shook my head.
"He thinks I've already made up my mind and that I'm going, but I haven't made up my mind. I don't know what I want to do." I said.
"Sounds frustrating." She said. I looked over at her.
"You think?" I said.
"Honey, you need to decide what it is you want more. Dante or Paris, but you can't have both." She said. I knew that was true. I just never thought my life would be committed to another person. All my plans were always about me. I know that sound selfish, but I also never thought I'd feel this way about someone.
"Mama, I'm just so confused and Dante is so upset." She took a deep breath.
"Love is never easy, love is about compromise, and if you truly love him, you will know what to do. That's life." She said and smiled at me.
"I don't want to give up either one." I said.
"You have a lot of thinking to do Beth." She got up and walked over to me. She gave me a big hug and went back out to my father. I stood in the kitchen and took a deep breath. Did I really want to be without him? I questioned myself. I knew the answer. I knew my heart ached every time I thought about it. I knew in my heart that I would be a mess without him. At that moment, I had made up my mind. I wasn't going to leave him. I smiled to myself. I went back out in the living room and my parents both looked at me. I smiled at my mother and she smiled back. I grabbed my phone out of my bag. I walked out back and called him. I got his voice mail.
"Dante, I love you. We need to talk. I'll be over tonight when you get home, and Dante, I love you."
I hung up and went back inside. I went into my room. I had at least five hours to kill before Dante would be home. I was tired so I laid down on my bed and fell asleep. I woke up a couple of hours later and it was dark outside. I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I looked over at the clock and it was nearly seven. I checked my phone, but there was still no response from Dante. He probably thinks I'm going to leave, but after I see him tonight, he will know I want to be with him. I got up and went into the bathroom to brush my hair out. I pulled it up into a messy bun and headed out. I didn't even bother putting makeup on. I wasn't trying to impress him. I just wanted to tell him how I felt.
I ran down the stairs and my mother was in the kitchen. "Hey." She hollered out. I stopped and went back into the kitchen.
"Yeah?" I said.
"Are you hungry? I made dinner, but you were sleeping." I smiled at her.
"I'm good, I'm going to Dante's." I said, she smiled at me.
"So you made up your mind?" She said. I nodded at her and waved as I took off. I got in my car and started it. I headed out the driveway and started down the road. I'm so glad I decided to stay. I know I had plans, but life has a way of throwing things at you. Things you never knew you wanted till they were right in your face. I knew how I felt about Dante. I didn't want that to change. I didn't want to end things with him before I even knew where it could go. One thing I've always known is that love is real. My parents proved that to me all my life. They were always so sweet to each other even when they knew people were watching. My father may have had a tough exterior, but with my mother he was putty in her hands, and she loved him back with all her heart.
Something I didn't know I wanted, till I met Dante. How could I give that up? All these things were running through my head. I smiled to myself thinking about him. I smile every time I see him. Even though we have been going through some stuff, I was always happiest around him. I don't want to miss out on my moments with him. I smiled as I continued to drive.
All of a sudden there were blinding lights in my mirror. Jerk, I said to myself as I tipped the mirror up so the light wasn't in my face. Then I felt the bump as the car made contact with my car. What the fuck? I said. I sped up some, but so did the car. I tried to see who was driving, but it was to dark to make it out. They were riding my ass, and now they were honking like mad. I tried to pull off to the side some to let them pass me, but they just stayed behind me honking. The road was pretty dead and it was only two lanes. Something isn't right about this. I put my hand out the window to tell them to pass me. They ran into the back of me again, but this time harder. Enough to push me forward so my chest hit the steering wheel hard. Ouch, I said as I grabbed my chest. I hit the gas and started speeding away as fast as I could go, but it was no use. The car was on my ass the whole time. My heart was racing as I now knew they were after me.
Then the car slowed down some and I stayed on the gas. Once it was out of my sight, I returned to normal speed and was trying to calm myself down. What the fuck was that? I said to myself. I felt that my eyes were wet. I must of started to cry without noticing it. I just shook my head. I still had at least a good twenty minutes before I would reach the city. Sometime I hated that we lived so far outside of the city. I saw headlights again and started to shake. Please don't let it be the same person. I said to myself. The car was speeding and I knew it was. I started to hit the gas again, but I was to late. The car hit the back of me at full speed. All I remember is the sound of metal crunching and a bright light as I lost control of the car and then blackness.
It has been three days since I got a voicemail from Adriana saying she wanted to talk and see me. When she didn't show up, I just assumed she had made up her mind to leave. My heart felt torn from my chest. I swore to write woman off all together. I went about my business trying to forget about her, but every time I turned around she was all I could see. I wish I would of known her plans before I got myself in deep. My best friend Dawson Jones was in town for the week. "If you love this girl so much then why don't you just fly to Paris and be with her?" Dawson said.
"Because, if she loved me like I loved her, she never would have left." Dawson shook his head.
"I know you better than this Dante, you have never turned your back on something you wanted. Why are you giving up so easily?" He asked me.
"Dude, between the crap with Sierra and Allissa, I just don't feel like I've got the strength to keep fighting." Dawson cocked his head at me.
"I never thought I'd see the day that you would soften up." He smiled at me. "You know your going to be sorry later on, especially if you really love her." He said. I took a drink of my beer and looked outside at the city lights. I didn't know what I was going to do. All I knew was the woman I really ever truly loved was gone. "Hey man, your phone is going crazy." I heard Dawson holler from the kitchen. I got up and saw an unknown number.
"Hello, this is Dante?"
"Hello Dante, this is Adriana's mother Ivy. Can I talk with her please?"
"Um, I'm sorry Mrs. Jackson, but I've not seen Beth in three days." There was silence on the other end.
"Are you sure, because she left here the other night on her way to you. We have not heard a word from her in three days." My heart started to race.
"You mean she is not in Paris?"
"No, what would make you think that? She choose you." Oh my god. I said to myself.
"Mrs. Jackson, Adriana never made it to me."
"REESE!" Was all I heard her yell out.
"I'm on my way to you now." I said and hung up the phone.
Dawson came to my side. "What's going on?" He asked, as I grabbed my keys and told him to come on.