As requested, I am putting up the last few chapters of My Wife’s Desires so people can see how it ends before I post my Wife’s Desires Part 2.
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Chapter 37- Nick: First Date
It took an hour and a half to get an Uber and then it took forty-five minutes to get home. Needless to say, I’ve had time to think.
Maybe talking to my brother wasn’t a good idea. He attempted to rape my wife at Christmas. How could I ever forgive or let that go?
It started out innocent enough. He was drunk texting me how sorry he was, and I hadn’t paid any attention at first. Then he told me Latisha left him and how he moved in with our parents. He hadn’t a job since he got married, staying home and caring for his kids. He felt worthless without his kids. And he may be a dick, but his love for my niece and nephew is palpable and it pulled at my conscious. Kids are a weakness for me and so I broke my silence after days of ignoring him.
I can’t kick him out of my life, he’s my brother. Right?
But having a real conversation with my brother doesn’t particularly happen. He isn’t honest, he doesn’t share his ‘feelings’, he’s not a guy you can sit and have a heart to heart. He’s a frat guy, even at fifty. You can get drunk with him, fist fight, hit on girls, but talking about real life is too much of a downer for him and he won’t do it. So, I met him on an even playing field.
And that meant insulting Tyler any time conversations got too ‘real’.
I never had a guy mad at me before. Tyler and I have our fights, for sure, but we usually wrestle or kill each other in video games. I’m right to assume this will not be like that. I’ll actually have to apologize to a guy, that I’m...doing shit with.
This thing with Tyler is stressful enough. I don’t know what the hell is going on. It’s turning into a more physical form of friendship than I recently planned. I never thought I would be capable of acts like we perform with Katie. The idea of a dick near mine would make me literally sick. But every time we fuck Katie, those walls I have crumble little by little. They fall too easy. Kissing him is becoming natural and almost common. I never wanted to kiss another man. I was perfectly happy with Katie. Why couldn’t we have gotten a fucking girl that night? How could I ever agree to a man?
But that question is easy to answer. I could never fuck another girl. I don’t know how Katie can but it doesn’t make me doubt her. Her love is as obvious as a boner in swimming shorts. I was so sure nothing was going to happen. Is it my fault for keeping him around the next day? Perhaps. But watching Katie getting fucked was something I could do all day. It’s beautiful and so fucking arousing. I thought maybe one more night. And look where that brought us.
I’m home and I take the dog out for a walk in the freezing air. We don’t stay out long, even Snowball can’t stand it and darts for the door. Inside, the lights are off and I’m unsure if they are even home, but I find their coats hung up in the closet and I add mine, removing my shoes and adding it to the pile.
I have to apologize. I have to explain. I’ll tell them anything. Having one of them mad at me is bad enough. But they’re both mad. I’ll get no support.
I climb the stairs; Tyler’s door is in my view and it’s shut. But I hear moaning. Tyler’s deep voice as he whispers her name, Katie’s soft groans and of course it mingles with the sound of slapping wet skin. I stand on the steps staring. Guess I’m going to be counted out on New Year’s Day. Is that like an omen or something? The first day of the year and my wife is fucking another guy. I slam the door to our bedroom, letting them know I’m home. Not that they care. Could I disappear right now and not be noticed?
Tyler and Katie screwing doesn’t bother me. It’s the fact that they are doing it to spite me that pisses me off. They haven’t even listened to my side. Don’t I get the benefit of the doubt? My brother isn’t a bad guy.
I probably shouldn’t start off with that. My brother’s a dick, but he doesn’t mean anything by it. He got confused with Katie and that I can’t deny. Katie always looks ready to fuck. If another guy noticed, how is it his fault?
Nope, that’s probably not a good thing to say either.
I get naked and fall into bed, hugging a pillow under me, smelling Katie and Tyler in the sheets. I have never slept alone. It’s ridiculous how much I rely on them. Maybe some space is necessary. I was beginning to want Tyler to join our lovemaking these last few days. He promised not to touch me and so we’ve fucked Katie separately. I thought I would be happy with it but Tyler’s become part of our lives. He’s become part of Katie. Without him, it just seems incomplete. And I know Katie feels the same way. It’s harder to get her to cum without him.
It’s not because she’s less attracted to me or doesn’t love me just the same, it’s simply because Tyler is a piece to our puzzle.
What am I going to do? How am I going to make it up to Tyler? I know I said things that were crude. If he read the whole damn conversation, I’m in terrible shit. I’ll have to admit to shit I don’t want too. Like any girl, he’ll need confirmation of my….of the way I...feel. God, that word is hard to swallow.
Listening to their groans and moans doesn’t turn me on. It makes me feel so fucking stupid for what I’ve said. Two doors separate us and they are still loud as hell. The headboard of the bed is smacking the wall with every fast thrust and it bangs like clapping hands. I’m jealous, I’m tired, I’m completely sober from my ride home, and I’m sorry.
Sleep is impossible and for the next two nights, I’m alone. Tyler is great at the silent treatment. Katie, is less so. She’s mad but she communicates with me. We ate breakfast together and day by day I’m warming up to her. She kissed me before work this morning. I explained to her why I was talking to my brother and she’s sympathetic to an extent. She knows my position in this matter is difficult. I have an obligation to her and to my brother.
When I get home from work on the third day, Katie’s finally in our bed. It’s a relief and I’m sure it shows on my face as she smiles sweetly. I don’t take off my clothes or anything as I sink into her arms, kissing her, taking in her perfume and the feel of her arms around me. I’m connected once more to happiness and I don’t want to let it go. She runs her hands through my hair, holding me.
“I’m sorry, baby. I know what he did was awful, I’m not saying I forgive him or I don’t want to fuck his face up but his wife left him. I would die if you ever left me.”
“I’d never leave you.”
My silence makes her pull my face out of her neck.
“Nick, do you think that’s possible?”
“Never. Honey, never. I’m here forever. Even when you piss me off.”
I kiss her and with desperation to feel her, our clothes are off and I’m sinking between her legs, holding her close to me. I’m slow and gentle, kissing her, watching her face, admiring her beauty with her legs around my waist. I whisper words of love in her ear, constantly telling her she’s amazing and beautiful and I can’t breathe without her. She clings to me as I increase my thrusts, knowing our slow pace will never get her off. We make love for two hours, enjoying every part of each other, returning to simple styles to keep her up against my chest, my heart at all times.
Sweating and panting, we lay in each other’s arms. My fingers dancing up and down her warm skin as I stare into her eyes. She has a contented smile on her face and her eyes close against her will as exhaustion seeps into her system.
“You have to apologize to Tyler.” She whispers in the dark. “He’s very hurt.”
“The things you said--”
“I didn’t mean them.”
“I know, I told him that but he needs to hear it from you.”
I sigh heavily. “I know you want something to happen between us. But Katie, I can’t.”
“You’re so afraid to like him. No one is judging you.”
“Thirty-five years of wanting pussy is judging me.”
“You aren’t gay for liking him.”
“I think that’s the definition of gay.”
“Well, maybe the definition is wrong. We live in a world now where these kinds of things are more open. But it’s been happening for thousands of years. Roman times, they had massive orgies.”
“They also had public hangings.”
“I’m just pointing out that you think it’s wrong because society doesn’t accept it. But it’s been going on for thousands of years and it’s not going to stop. You can fight it, but I think you’re missing out.” She shifts, her hand resting on my cheek, “I’m in love with two men who love me. You think that’s socially acceptable? You were the one that told me it was okay and that’s all that matters to me. And now I’m telling you, it’s okay.”
“So, I admit it and then what? I’m supposed to fuck him in the ass? Oh, god!” I slap a hand over my face, “I can’t. Even talking about it makes me gag.”
“Just because you feel something doesn’t mean it has to manifest to physical. Just take it slow. Stop thinking so much. He admires you and you basically called him a hooker that wasn’t worth the money. I can’t believe you would say something like that. And I know it’s your brother that brings out the worst in you. He always has.”
“Your bachelor party?” I groan, hiding my face in her shoulder. “You spent three thousand dollars on strippers.”
“They were really pretty strippers.”
She pinches my nipple. I yelp, yanking away, hiding my boob. I smile but she glares. “For Christmas five years ago? You went bar hopping and got into a huge fight and you both ended up in jail. We had to pay eight hundred dollars in fines. The day Martin met my sister for the first time and you and him basically made fun of her. In college you--”
“Alright, we don’t have to go down memory lane. He has a strong personality.”
I lay on my back, “What should I do?”
“I don’t know. An apology might be a good place to start.”
I sit up, “You think he’s awake?”
“Probably. He’s studying around the clock.”
I snag a pair of pajama pants, pulling them up as I walk out the door. There is a light under his door. No luck of doing this tomorrow. I pull in a deep breath and knock on the door.
I peek open the door, his back is facing me as he leans over his desk with a book laid out. He’s highlighting and the yellow glows. I step in going up quietly behind him before I put my hands on his shoulders. He stiffens for a moment before replying, “What do you want?”
His terse reply doesn’t make this easier. “Tomorrow night. Let’s go bar hopping.”
“I have to study.”
I didn’t think he would say that. I’m not about to beg. “Come on. Just go with me.” I squeeze his shoulders, hoping he’ll understand what I’m trying to do.
“You’ve already spent too much money on me already.”
I wince. He’s really holding a grudge. I rest my forehead on the back of his head, “Please.” I whisper forcefully.
It is silent for a few moments before he begrudgingly replies, “Fine. But I gotta finish this.”
“Sure. Yeah, good, okay.” I quickly dip out of his room, a smile on my lips as I reenter the bedroom. Katie looks up at me and I shut off the light, burying in beside her. She’s giggling because she can tell I’m happy but it pisses me off. What the fuck am I happy about?
Then she whispers, “Your first date! It’s so exciting.”
I groan, rolling over, abandoning her but she climbs on my back, kissing me, resting her head on my back. Is that what it is? A date? Why? Why can’t it be just two guys going out? We’ve done it plenty of times before. “Where the fuck am I supposed to take him?”
She giggles but doesn’t answer.
The question nags at the back of my head all day. I end up texted one of my co-workers, hoping for some ideas from him. I don’t text him because he’s gay. He knows all the good hotspots around town. I usually use him to find a new place to take Katie.
I go to get dressed and Katie’s on my heels, bouncing on the bed, “What are you going to wear?”
“I barely make an effort for you, what makes you think I’m making any effort now?”
“You try to be so badass but I know you check yourself in the mirror a dozen or more times when we go out.”
“Good grooming is a natural part of a Spanish male’s upbringing. I can’t fight tradition.”
She disappears probably to ask the same thing of Tyler. This is like a field day for her. I’m sure she’s upset she can’t video tape the entire night, getting off on our conversations.
I’m downstairs, reaching into the cabinet above the fridge for my secret stash of sweets. Katie doesn’t buy anything unhealthy and it wears on me. Especially in times of stress when I need sugar. I stuff a hole ho-ho in my mouth and chew it up in the bathroom.
Katie’s hopping down the stairs, “He’s ready.”
I’m begging her to stop with a look and she holds her hands up in surrender. She kisses me quickly, “Have fun.” Then turns to Tyler and kisses him, whispering something in his ear. He shakes his head, heading for the door. I slap her ass on the way out.
“You want to drive?” It’s a question I ask Katie anytime we get in the car. It’s automatic.
“Sure.” I toss him the keys and sit in the passenger seat. Katie waving from the door, “Think she’s going to masturbate while we’re gone?”
“When doesn’t she?”
I cackle. “I’m thinking of putting a camera in the living room.”
“I don’t know if we’re ready for what we’ll find. She’s more of a sex freak than even I know.”
“I didn’t know she was this bad. She kept it a secret from me. I mean, she’s asked to do some odd shit, sure, but since you got here, she’s unleashed all her desires. It’s hard to keep up.”
“Least it’s not BDSM.”
“Not yet, don’t jinx us.” I keep pointing us so he knows where we’re going. “You ever do that? BDSM?”
“My first year. They pay way more and I needed money. My boss tried to talk me out of it, said I wasn’t ready but two thousand dollars is hard to pass up. I wish I listened.”
“I was tied up for three hours, whipped, gagged, peed on and my balls in a clamp.”
“Didn’t get off once with the tight cock ring wrapped around my dick but she as sure did and I didn’t even have to fuck her. Old lady too, fifty or something. When I need to calm down when I’m screwing Katie, I usually think of that, sinks me in seconds.”
“I don’t even like being handcuffed.”
“I’m not surprised.”
I look at him, “Why?”
“You have to be in control. Or at least have some control. You’re in your head too much.”
“Yeah. I am.”
We park in the garage downtown and I lead us out. He doesn’t ask with his hands in his coat pockets. It’s freezing out and barely any one is out past dark anymore. We’re walking up a side street when he stops. He’s noticed the sign and I look back at him.
“Chaps? You’re taking me to a gay bar?”
I’m confused by his obvious anger. “Well...I thought--”
“I’m not gay, Nick.” He bites before spinning on his foot.
I chase after him, grabbing his arm, “What are you pissed about? I didn’t know where to go.”
“How about a football game or that inside golf place? Dave and Busters is fifteen minutes out, why not there? You think I want to fuck dudes because of whatever we’re doing? I’m in love with Katie, why can’t you get that?” He shoves away walking back down the street.
“This was for me, alright?”
“I’m trying to be okay with this so I thought, if I saw it, if I got comfortable around it, I won’t freak out anymore.”
He takes a breath before he turns around and walks back, passing by and throwing offhand, “Beer is beer.” He whips the door back, waiting for me.
Inside is a lot like I thought it would be, guys everywhere. Some glance in our direction and I pause at the door before Tyler pushes on my back forcing me to sit at the bar. I’m stiff and so obviously straight. I’m looking around, noticing all different attires. Men in skirts or short shorts. Men in leather. Men in jeans. Beefy guys in tight tank tops. Skinny guys wearing eyeliner. Some of them don’t look gay but maybe looking gay doesn’t mean anything. I’m filled to the brim of stereotypical ideals that it’s hard to push past it.
“Stop staring.” He orders softly as he sips on his beer.
I direct my gaze on my own drink, forcing a sip, wondering if I’m getting gay cooties just from sitting here. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”
“No. It’s a great idea. You’ll realize that you’re still straight even though you let a guy suck your cock.”
“Shhh...” I hiss but it causes him to smile.
“Talk about work.”
It’s a segue into conversation and I snatch a hold of it, trying to forget where I’m at. We talk for a good while about different people. It’s cool that he knows who I’m talking about considering he works at my job for a little bit each month. Katie tries to keep up but servers come and go quick and she loses track. I can talk bad about some of my employees and not feel guilty about it. I know he’ll never say anything.
Then conversation dies off when I see two men kiss. I clear my throat, trying to look away but it’s just so awkward.
“See? We’re not gay.” He reassures.
“I didn’t think I’d need to have proof of that.”
He chuckles, “But it’s nice to have.”
“So, you thought...”
“Maybe.” He admits begrudgingly, “I don’t know what the fuck’s going on either. You think it’s easy for me because of what I did for a living but this is all new to me. I never...cared about another guy. Physical is the easy shit. But the mental...it’s different.”
I nod in agreement.
“But...I’m okay with what we’re doing. I don’t know what will happen in the future and I don’t want to think about it either, but I don’t mind it. Do you?”
I take a sip of my beer, hoping this won’t turn into a ‘feelings’ session. It’s different with Katie. I can tell her all the emotions she causes and the desire she creates with no problem. I love it because she loves hearing it. But I can’t be like that with a man, no matter if it’s Tyler. It’s a vulnerability that I can’t expose to him.
“No, I guess not.”
“Then why the fuck are you saying all that shit to your brother?” His anger comes on suddenly and I snap my head to him surprised. He’s glaring darkly and I can see the hurt.
“I don’t know.”
“It was really disrespectful and shitty of you. I trust you and you’re talking shit about me? I at least thought we were friends--”
“I would never say anything like that to anyone, including my own brother. I didn’t think you could be like that.”
I rotate toward him, resting a hand on his leg, “Look, Martin brings out the worst in me. Katie always thought so. It’s not what I think.”
“You said I wasn’t really a man--”
“Ty…” I rub my fingers against my eyes. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said things like that. I’m dealing with this in a bad way. I don’t want my brother to think I’m gay.”
“But if I told him we’re...this, it will be his first thought and he’ll broadcast it like it’s the biggest deal in PA. He’s more homophobic than I am. So, I was just saying shit. Just trying to make him laugh and keep him from suspecting anything. It was all lies.”
He doesn’t look at me.
“If I thought you were too expensive, I’d have asked for my money back.”
He snorts, a smirk trying to break through, but he takes a sip to keep it from forming. He glances down to my hand on his thigh, “You have four more days, you know.”
I chew on the inside of my lip. He’s almost breaking, almost forgiving me.
“Careful. You don’t want to come off gay.”
I glance around, “I don’t think anyone will care.” I take a hold of his arm and pull him, kissing him quickly before shoving him away, “Are we better?” I take a long swing of my beer.
“I’ll be better if you suck my dick on the way home.”
I choke on my drink and he’s laughing.
“Too easy.” He grins, chugging back his drink.