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Dear Diary - My wife, my friend and me.

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Be Careful What You Wish For


I met my wife Anne at a Christmas party in a local working men’s club. The party was being held for the under 18’s in the area. She was there with her younger sister Rachel who was fifteen. Rachel was her adopted sister, brought into the family when she was a baby, and after her mother had a miscarriage, and had to have a hysterectomy.

I gone along with Brian, it wasn’t one of our usual parties, but were at a loss for something to do and thought that there might be some girls there. I spotted her immediately. She wore a simple skirt and blouse, and a little make-up. She stood out, because that wasn’t the norm for the time. It was the eighties. It was all big hair and lots of make-up. Her hair was shoulder length and as black as the night, and I watched her as she sat with a couple of mothers who had come along to keep an eye on their kids. It was obvious that she didn’t normally go to places like this.

When I eventually got the courage to approach her and ask her to dance, she blushed, about as red as I’ve ever seen anyone blush. I found it so cute, Eventually, after some cajoling from the two mothers that she was sat with, I took her hand and led her to the dance floor.

She was hopeless! She had little sense of rhythm, but I didn’t care, and thankfully the DJ played a slower number and I got the opportunity to take her in my arms, well, I held her hips and she put her hands on my shoulders. The song, Leo Sayer’s ‘Love you more than I can say’ turned out to be our first dance at our wedding. She slowly relaxed and we chatted as we danced. I learned about all about her sister, and that Anne was at university. Her dream was to become a teacher, which she achieved and had a successful career.

When the song finished, she thanked me and went back to the mothers. For the rest of the dance I stood with Brian as he scanned the room for cute girls our age, there weren’t many. I couldn’t take my eyes off Anne, and I caught her looking over at me now and again, she’d blush and turn away when our eyes would meet.

I had another dance with her before the dance ended, and I asked her out. She told me that she’d think about it, what I didn’t know was that she’d have to ask her father. She was raised by very strict Catholic parents. She gave me her phone number, this was in the days before mobiles and I said I’d call her during the week.

When I called her, her father answered, he put the fear of God into me without saying anything, but when he handed her the phone, she agreed to our first date, and, well the rest is history. Oh, and her father? Great guy.

Diary entry: May 2017 : Be Careful what you wish for

“Be careful what you wish for son!” The words of my father were never truer than when events took a turn.

Anne continued to come out of her shell. I loved the fact that she now took her time in the morning when dressing. Her clothes were chosen to suit her mood, not just the first thing that she grabbed. Her wardrobe had become more colourful, and sexier, especially her underwear.

She was also more confident in herself. She walk around exuding an air of confidence, and it was lovely to see. Her friends noticed too, some had commented on it and asked her what her secret was, she replied with a one-word answer, “love”.

When the weekend arrived, Brian and I went out for our usual drink. He hadn’t made any reference to staying over so as we left, I had to remind him.

At home, it was so natural. We had a drink, watched TV, and chatted. When it came time to go to bed, again it was natural. No nudity this time, he and I wore boxers, and Anne her nightie. She started off cuddling me and ended up asleep with her head on his chest and arm and leg across his body, as is her normal sleep position.

I had a peaceful sleep and woke up surprisingly refreshed, taking into consideration the amount of beer that we both drank the previous evening. I left them asleep in our bed, they both looked so peaceful.

I was downstairs making breakfast when they came down. I wondered if they’d had sex whilst I was away, and Anne knew that I was thinking. She kissed me and whispered.

“Nothing happened.”

That scene was repeated the following weekend, with the same result, Brian slept with Anne on his arm and everyone was happy. I was proud of my wife, I knew how much she cared for Brian, and this little thing she did, made him feel normal again, just for one night a week.

“It’s so nice to just sleep in a bed with someone else guys. And you two are the best friends that anyone could possibly have,”

When Brian left us, she did a little cleaning around, I worked a little on my laptop and our ‘blissfully normal’ day was interrupted by a knock at the door, I answered and signed for a parcel from a courier, addressed to Anne. She looked excited when I handed it to her, she wouldn’t explain what it was but took it from me and rushed upstairs, telling me to wait until she called me up. I waited, wondering what surprise she had in store for me, when she eventually called, I walked slowly upstairs, at the top of the stairs our bedroom door was pulled to, I pushed it open and she was stood before me, and she looked stunning.

She wore a black and red basque, laced up the front with red ties, a tiny pair of sheer black panties, I could clearly see her pussy hair through the crotch, and black stockings secured to a black lacy garter belt. My cock hardened immediately, she smiled, her hand on her hip, her finger in the corner of her mouth.

“You like?”

I stared, “fuck yeah!”

She giggled and turned and wriggled her ass at me.

“I thought I’d wear it on our next time with Brian.”

I was already approaching her, and she opened her arms for me, and we kissed, I ground my crotch against her, she moaned as she felt my hard cock. I pushed her back and onto our bed, she lay down and I pressed my lips hard on her mouth, we were both so aroused. I slipped my hand down her body and pushed her legs apart, my fingers cupped her crotch, I could feel that her panties were already wet, I pressed my finger on her clit over her panties, she moaned into my mouth and pushed her hips up to meet my finger.

“Oh, fuck me! fuck me now Paul,”

She almost pleaded with me, and I was only too willing to give her what she wanted. She didn’t foreplay, she wanted to be fucked!

I slid down her body, she’d remembered to slip her panties on last, over the straps that held her stockings up, I slipped my fingers into the top of her panties and slid them down her legs, she kicked them off and spread her legs, inviting me between them. I kicked off my pants and boxers and let my hard cock spring free, I stroked it a couple of times then knelt between her legs and looked down on her, she was panting, her eyes begged me to fuck her. I slid the head along her wet slit and then plunged into her she gasped and threw her head back.

I fell on her and she wrapped her legs around mine and pulled me into her as I began to slam into her, fucking her hard. She buried her head into my neck and her arms wrapped around my neck as we fucked like a pair of animals. I slammed my cock into her, and I could feel her pussy contracting around my shaft as I slammed in and out of her. I could feel her orgasm coming, her fingers dug into my neck, she even bit me as I felt her body shudder as her orgasm hit, she cried out and urged on her cries I slammed harder into her. Then, it happened, as her orgasm ripped through her body, she screamed out.

“Oh god, yes! Fuck me Brian!”

She tried to stop herself, but she couldn’t stop her orgasm and she gripped me as the pleasure continued to rip through her body, but we both knew what she had said. I thrust a few more times but I knew that I was wasting my time, I could almost feel the blood rushing from my cock. I held it inside her until she’d finished coming, her arms still held me and as I knelt up and made to pull out, I felt her feet hold onto me, she lifted her head.

“You haven’t finished?”

I reached behind and unhooked her feet, I rolled off her and lay down beside her.

“It’s okay honey.”

I lay back, I wondered what to say, we both did, but neither of us had the right words, so we said nothing. Eventually I got up and showered, leaving her behind in bed. I didn’t look back at her as I walked away.

As I showered, I heard the door open and could see her silhouetted through the frosted glass of the shower door.

“Want me to join you?” She asked.

“I’m just about done honey. I’ll be out in a sec.”

When I emerged, she was stood, naked. She looked embarrassed, and unsure of what to say. I grabbed a towel from the rail and began to dry myself. She looked at me.

“Paul. I’m sorry.”

I nodded, “it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

And before she could say anything else, I walked out of the bathroom.

I was sat in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal when she eventually came down. There was an awkward silence, the atmosphere was weird. She sat beside me and said that we needed to talk. I didn’t want to, mainly because I didn’t know exactly what I was feeling. At that moment my head was full of crazy thoughts. I kept telling myself that I was being stupid, it was obviously a ‘slip of the tongue,’ but I couldn’t erase the memory of her screaming out his name at the height of her ecstasy. I could see that she was upset, but, for the first time in my life, I didn’t know what to say to her. I told her that I needed some time to think. I picked up the car keys and went for a drive.

I found myself parked on the cliffs, looking out onto the sea. I spent the rest of the afternoon staring out onto the North Sea as I replayed earlier events over and over in my head. My imagination went into overdrive, and I started asking myself loads of questions.

“What did it mean? Did she prefer sex with him? Did she think of him when we were making love? Will she leave me?”

Part of me was screaming that I was being ridiculous, but when I closed my eyes, I could see he face in ecstasy, and hear her calling out his name. I sighed, I loved how she had changed ever since we started all this and wouldn’t want her to drift back to the quiet, timid woman that she had turned into. But does she wish that I was him?

I battled with myself. I loved this new woman that she had become. She is more like the woman that I married, the girl that I met, she is more alive than she has been for a long time. Her self-confidence and self-belief have gone through the roof. She’s no longer afraid to show off her body, she wears more make-up now, without overdoing it, she likes how she looks and loves to look good and takes pride in her appearance.

And in bed, well, wow! She’s far more active, energetic, passionate and vocal, all things that I love, but I couldn’t help thinking.

‘was it me or was it him she thought about when I was inside her?’

I was brought out of my thoughts when my mobile rang, it was her. I told her where I was, I knew that she was worried. She asked me if I had said anything to Brian, I hadn’t, not yet. She apologised, again, I told her again that it was okay, but she wasn’t buying it.

“Don’t say that Paul, it isn’t okay, you’re upset, admit it.”

I told her that yes, I was upset, but mostly surprised I also said that I’d get over it.

I had been away nearly three hours, and when I got home, she was sat on the couch. As soon as I walked in, I could see that she’d been crying. I felt terrible. I sat down beside her and took her hand, she leaned her head on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”

I had prepared so many things in my head. I was going to be calm, understanding, and forgiving. Yet, when it came time to say it my anger took over, and I was unable to stop myself.

“For what?” I said sarcastically.

She looked at me, her eyes betrayed her feelings, she was hurting, she felt humiliated.

“What do you mean for what?”

I snapped, “Have you forgotten already? You called me Brian in the middle of your orgasm. And now, I can’t get the idea out of my head that every time that you and I are fucking, you are thinking of him!”

Her eyes twitched, I’d really hurt her, then, for the first time in our marriage, the first time since we’d met, she slapped me across my face. I was shocked, we both were, it was clear that I’d crossed a line. I stared at her, then she broke down in tears, I reached out for her, but she pushed me away. I couldn’t watch her cry, so I got up, and walked away. I found myself upstairs in one of the spare bedrooms. I heard her come upstairs and when she didn’t find me in our bedroom, she called out my name. I remained silent, she stood at the bedroom door.

“How could you think that Paul?”

I looked at her. She walked towards me and sat beside me on the bed. I took her in my arms, she leaned against me as I brushed hair from her eyes. Eyes which were redder now from her tears. I took a breath and then let it all out. I told her everything,

“I’ve loved you almost from the first time I laid eyes on you. We’ve grown up together, we’ve done so much together, and this birthday present was the best thing that we’ve done for a long time.

I love how much you have blossomed. You have found your old self again, you are so much more confident, more alive. The true person inside you has been brought out. I knew she was in there, and now I can see her again, and it’s wonderful. I love how you enjoy sex once more, like when we first started, exploring, enjoying, not a care in the world. I love how you enjoy your body, like I do, you don’t hide it anymore, and you throw yourself into sex without restriction or restraint. All of that, all of it, is down to Brian, he’s brought all that out of you.”

I wiped more tears from her eyes as I looked deep into them.

“I apologise for restricting you, for stifling you. It is clear, that over the years I have taken that beautiful energetic girl that I met and strangled all the life from her. But, thanks to Brian, you’ve found yourself again. I am so pleased to see you so happy again, you are living life to the full now, and your outfit earlier is physical proof of that.

I can’t let you drift back into the quiet, placid woman that I made you. If that’s what it takes to ensure that you remain the person that you are now, I would gladly give you to him.”

There, I had said it all, I was done, and strangely, I felt a load of tension leave my body. I’d laid out all my frustrations in front of her, and there was nothing more to be said. I held her as she let her head fall onto my chest and she cried softly. When she got control of herself, she sniffed, and wiped her eyes on my sweater and looked up at me.

“Okay, now it’s my turn to speak. You will give me to him? What the hell do you think I am? A trophy?”

I stared at her, it wasn’t what I meant. She raised her hand, she wasn’t done.

“Most of what you say might be true. Yes, I feel better. Yes, I’m more confident. Yes, I love sex. I’ve always loved sex with you! This is just different! But the sex you and I have is special, it’s above special, it’s the most important thing in the world to me.

And you would think that I would rather have sex with Brian, or be thinking of Brian when I am with you? Well, that hurts me.

As for giving me to him? How dare you even think that?”

I immediately felt guilty for reacting in the way that I had, she wasn’t finished.

“I’m sorry for what happened, truly I am. But it did not mean what you thought it meant, it was a slip of the tongue.” She looked into my eyes. “Look at me, I was not thinking of him when I was with you this morning, got it?”

Now I was battling the tears, I nodded, “okay.”

“And, as for the sex we all have together, you, and Brian, together, have shown me so much, and I love you so much for letting that happen. And yes, I love him for it, but you know that the feelings I have for Brian are totally different to those that I have for you. He is not you, and never will be.”

I hugged her harder now and feeling incredibly guilty as she continued.

“I asked you before we started this if you would be okay, you promised me that you would, what happened?”

I was going to remind her of what happened but sensibly thought better of it, it took a deep breath and sighed.

“I freaked out honey. For a moment all I could see, and think of, was that you wanted him more than you wanted me.”

She shook her head and looked away, “Maybe we should stop all this?”

I turned her towards me. “Is that what you want? It’s not what I want.”

Now she looked confused. I gently ran my fingers across her face.

“I am not going to take that away from you Anne. I love you, and I’m not going to let you slip back to be the quiet, frustrated woman, that I made you. I don’t want you to come to resent me.”

She looked into my eyes.

“I will not let my insecurities stop what you have. I over-reacted, and it is done.”

She nodded, “Paul. I will only continue with this if you are sure that you are done with all this paranoia.”

I nodded, there was nothing more to say.

We spent the evening watching TV. I can’t remember what was on, I just stared at it. Our conversation was monosyllabic, and tense at times. There was still some tension between us, and it was coming from me, and I couldn’t think why.

We had cleared the air, and now it was me who was being weird. Eventually we headed upstairs, I thought about heading to the spare room, but she anticipated me and led me by my hand into our bedroom. We undressed in silence and slipped into bed. I felt better, not perfect but happier. But I didn’t know how I’d react the next time we made love, but for now, I’d said what I had to, as had she, so when she slid across me and rested her head on my chest, I slid my arm under her and cuddled her close to me.

After a restless night I was up early, and I was in the kitchen when she came down in her robe. She kissed me softly, it was still tense, and we settled into our normal breakfast routine.

It turned into a long day. I spent the morning in the garden, finding stuff to do to keep me from having to go back into the house. She knew what I was doing, she knew that I rarely spent this long working in the garden. Especially as now I paid a guy to come in every two weeks to keep on top of it.

We had a lovely lunch. We managed to keep the topic of conversation off the subject of sex and got through it without incident. Fortunately, our daughter called her, and they spent a good hour on the telephone. Her spirits were raised after talking with her and our young grandson and she was a lot happier after the call.

I had an early start in the morning, so I used it as an excuse to go to bed early. She said that she’d join me, but I managed to persuade her to finish watching her TV program. By the time she came up I was asleep, of so she thought. I lay there as she slipped into bed and cuddled into my back and I felt so bad that I was ignoring her, but I felt that I had no option.

The following day I was up early, and I headed off to work.

I busied myself, hoping to put the terrible weekend to the back of my mind.

In the afternoon I received a text message from Brian.

“Me, you, pub, after work!”

I was about to call him when my mobile rang, I looked at the screen, “Anne” I answered. She told me that he’d called her, and she’d broken down and told him all about it. She apologised, I told her that it was okay, and I told her that I’d be late. She asked if I wanted her to join us, I told her no, I’d handle it on my own.

He was sat in the corner as I walked in, a drink in front of the empty seat beside him. I walked over and smiled, he nodded to the seat and took a drink. I sat down and picked up my shandy.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

I stared at him, he was pissed-off. He started to berate me for giving Anne a hard time over a simple mistake. I tried to explain to him, but he wasn’t listening or stopping.

“You were meant to talk this out before we began all of this Paul.”

I nodded and was about to speak, he held up his hand.

“Not done! Do you seriously think that she would rather have me instead of you? Is that it?”

I must have given him the wrong look, he stared.

“It is! That’s what you think! You’re a fucking idiot!”

He paused, I took my chance.

“Listen mate, I got surprised when she called out your name.”

He resumed his berating, he was not happy. But eventually we got it all out and were calm. He looked at me.

“You really are a prize idiot, you know?”

I nodded.

“I know but hearing her call your name just as I was about to come inside of her, kind of off-putting mate. But I know that it wasn’t because of anything you did. It was all in my head!”

He said that he was prepared to let me take a swing at him, “just one mind you!”.

I laughed, “what for?” I asked, “you didn’t shout out your name.”

He explained that he and Dianne used to roleplay a lot, she used to play as Anne for him and he’d heard her call out my name many times.

“And then, I had to be you! Imagine that!”

I laughed, he hadn’t told me that before, but he had told me that Dianne had developed a thing for me, which did boost my ego when he told me. When we parted, he told me that he was done with the whole sharing thing if it meant that we couldn’t all be friends.

When I told Anne what we’d talked about she was not happy.

“So, you both have decided that it’s over? And I don’t get a say in it?”

I was confused, I tried to tell her that I hadn’t decided anything, Brian had.

“Because you made him feel like shit!”

I was shocked, I didn’t know what to say. I watched as she picked up her mobile.

“Brian? Dinner one hour!”

I looked at her, she stared back at me.

“You. Fix this!”

She walked into the kitchen to start on dinner.

He arrived on time, he knew better than to be late. He asked what it was all about, I shrugged. She came out and hugged him.

“Steak and chips Brian, okay?”

He nodded.

“Perfect Anne.”

I looked at her, she stared and then turned away. Brian looked at me.

“What did you do?”

I shrugged, “I told her that you said it was all over.”

He groaned, “I said. If it is going to affect our friendship, then I don’t want to do it. Did you ask her if she still wants to do it?”

I shook my head. He rolled his eyes.

“I’ve said it before, Fucking idiot!”

We enjoyed a lovely, simple meal and the conversation was good. Afterwards we sat in the lounge, and as soon as we all had a drink in our hands Anne stood and looked at the pair of us.

“Okay. Time to set the record straight.”

She glanced at each of us in turn.

“First. What happened yesterday was a mistake, a slip of the tongue. It meant nothing. Second. Brian, do you want to stop our arrangement?”

Brian stuttered, “if it means?”

She stopped him, “no if’s. Yes or no?”

He shook his head, “no.”


I shook my head, “no.”

“Okay. So, we put my little faux-pas behind us and enjoy ourselves. Agreed?”

We agreed and talked about what we’d get up to on our next meeting. When he left, she returned to the lounge. I must have looked pensive because she sat beside me and asked me what I was thinking about. I told her that I was okay with everything, but I had to admit that it was still a little strange. I looked into her eyes.

“Honey. I’m not going to lie. I believe you when you tell me that it was a mistake, and that you have no wish to replace me with him. I can tell that you want this to continue, as do I. I meant it when I said that I’d rather give you to him than have you stop this and go back to how we were.”

She leaned her head on my shoulder.

“Do I get a say in this? Whether I want you to ‘give’ me to him?”

I nodded.

“Well, I think that you’re, and I’m quoting Brian here, ‘a fucking idiot,’ if you think that’s what I want.”

I kissed the top of her head.

“I love you.”

She squeezed me, “so show me.”

I sighed, “maybe tomorrow honey.”

I felt much better the following morning, I felt her hands caressing my limp cock, as I woke, I lay there, but there was no reaction, so I got up. She asked me if there was anything wrong, I shook my head and said that I had to be in work early. I wasn’t sure whether she believed me or not, I sure as hell didn’t. I may have said I was okay with it, and over it, but my cock was saying otherwise.

That night as we lay in bed she leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder, I felt her hand slip under the covers and slide inside my boxers, I’d been so nervous about this moment, and I didn’t feel quite ready. I tried to ignore it and I kept reading and told her that we could wait until the weekend. She stopped and sat up.

“Listen Paul, the weekend isn’t going to happen unless you and I can get past this. And the only way to get over this properly is to have sex.”

“I know honey, maybe we can tomorrow, I just think.” she stopped me.

“Don’t think! Just do it!”

I looked at her, she was right, I’d have to try at some point, it may as well be now. I put down my book and she turned off the bedside lamps and we slid down under the duvet.

I felt her body in my arms, my lips found hers and we kissed, my tongue probed her mouth and danced with hers as she moaned softly into my mouth. My fingers teased and rolled her nipples as my hands caressed gently across her breasts as her chest rose and fell under my touch. He hand slipped around my shaft and soon it was solid as she stroked it gently, her lips nibbled my earlobe as she whispered for me to fuck her.

I so wanted to but not just yet. I worked my lips down her body, gently kissing and licked her beautifully soft skin and I slipped between her legs which she parted for me. I slid my hands under her ass and lifted her legs up a little to give me full access to her gorgeous wet slit. I licked around her lips, teasing her clit, she bucked and thrust her pussy up into my face. I obliged her by probing her pussy with my tongue and nibbling and biting her clit a little. This sent her wild, she thrashed about as I held her clit gently between my teeth and tolled it around as I thrust a couple of fingers deep into her pussy and curled them up to caress her sensitive pussy wall.

This was too much, and she grabbed my hair and pushed me hard into her pussy and thrust up and gasped, she cried out loud a she came so hard. Her thighs gripped my head so hard that I did have a struggle to breathe sufficiently. She held me there until she started to come down and as I felt the pressure on my head released.

I slowly slid up her body and kissed her, letting her taste herself on my lips. She smiled and licked her lips.

“Mmm I taste good” she said.

“Yes. You do” I agreed.

I kissed her, gentle this time, and as I did, I felt her reach down between her legs and take my cock in her hand and guide me towards her pussy. She shifted to allow her to push me into her lips then her hand returned to my neck and she hugged me.

“Now, fuck me.”

I started to slide in and out of her, slowly, long deep strokes, I could feel her gripping me, her muscles trying to hold my shaft as I slide into her pussy. She was soon moaning again, the prettiest sound I will ever hear. And with her new-found confidence she responded to my every touch with moans and whimpers of pleasure, and I don’t know whether it was me, or real, but I was sure that I could sense a difference in her sounds this time, this time we were making love. Soon I was fucking her hard, her hands were on my ass pulling me into her and she responded by pushing her hips up to meet my thrusts.

This was turning into a great fuck, I felt pleasure so intense that I knew I wasn’t far off coming. And I was right, the rarest of all things happened for us, we came together, as I ground my cock hard into her, I felt her shudder and with the first spurt of my cum she bucked and dug her fingers into my shoulders and came hard with me.

Afterwards we lay in each other’s arms, in the glow of our mutual orgasms and I felt as if a load had been lifted from me. I’d had my freaky moment, I’d nearly blown it all, but now, I felt good. My negative thoughts, irrational thoughts had been banished. My wife was laid beside me, pleasured, falling asleep and all I could think about was our next time with Brian, the best friend any man has ever had.

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