Surrender To Me (Book One)

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Chapter 8: Finally!

Earlier today, Jackson checked us into the penthouse suite so when we arrive at the hotel, shortly before eight, we have only to find our room.

When we get to the door, Jackson unlocks it and gathers me up in his arms. He carries me over the threshold in that cheesy time-honored tradition. We’re both grinning from ear to ear.

Jackson shuts the door with his right foot and carries me forward into the room. He stands me on my feet and kisses me tenderly.

“It’s getting warm in here,” I remark. Jackson chuckles at me, takes my handbag and sits it on the end of the sofa.

I make a three sixty turn around the room so I can see what it looks like. It’s huge and it’s breathtaking. The entire opposing wall is comprised of six windows, all of which are framed in traditional molding. I walk over so I can look down on the rest of the city. The view gives the appearance that God has scattered a blanket of diamonds below, as well as, above us.

For an instant I pull my attention from the windows to find Jackson watching me. I smile at him and then continue to assess our wedding night quarters. The living space is decorated in high-end taste. I’m not really sure of the style. It’s certainly not contemporary, but it’s not purist traditional either. Regardless of the label one could attach to the design aesthetic the furniture is expensive and beautiful. The wallpaper is a two-tone vertical gold stripe. The moldings, fireplace mantel and draperies are all tastefully coordinated.

I walk to the French doors at the opposite end of the room and open them to find the master suite. In this room sky-blue reigns as the color theme, but it has gold flecks present which allows it to coordinate beautifully with the front room décor. The bed is king-size and is flanked by two hi-boy and two lowboy dressers. One side of the bed hosts a small closet and the other a sizable six piece ensuite.

A quiet succinct knock comes to the door. Jackson promptly answers it and escorts the bellhop in as he delivers our overnight luggage. Jackson tips him and shows him out.

“Wow, this room is really beautiful, Jackson. Thank you so much,” I tell him quietly.

He comes and takes my hand in his. “You’re welcome, sweetheart. I hoped you’d like it.” He takes a firmer grip on my hands and asks me, “Ellie, honey, are you shaking?”

I drop my gaze and answer honestly. “Only slightly.”

Jackson caresses my cheek with the back of his fingers and asks, “Why are you shaking at all?”

Without looking up at him I say, “I’m a little nervous, I guess.”

In a tender, quiet voice that’s barely more than a whisper, Jackson asks, “Why are you nervous?”

Reflexively, my head shoots up so I can look Jackson in the eye. Incredulous, I ask, “You have to ask? Isn’t it obvious?”

Jackson grins at me. He’s having some fun at my expense. He kisses my cheek and begins twirling his thumbs into the backs of my hands. “Ellie, there’s nothing to be nervous about. I love you. We’re married. Everything is as it should be, right? This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is, but that doesn’t keep me from being nervous. I mean, I’ve only ever been with one man. That wedding night was so long ago there isn’t much I really remember about it. I know it might sound silly to you, but I feel an awful lot like a virgin.”

Jackson and I have already had several intimate conversations during which I revealed intensely personal events and feelings. Every time Jackson has come alongside me and proven to me that I could trust him with both my heart and my head. Now, it’s time to trust him with my body.

I don’t want to come across as a complete idiot to my new husband, so I quickly continue. “I understand that I’m not a virgin, of course, but you are such a different man than Thomas. Your expectations are going to be different. I’m not this worldly sexually experienced person and it’s not that I’m apologizing for that. Actually, I’m quite proud of it. It’s just that I’m not like the other women you’ve been with.”

“Ellie,” Jackson counters, “if I’d wanted one of them, then one of them would be here with me. I want you, Ellie, only you. That’s why you’re here with me.”

I walk into Jackson’s torso and wrap my arms around him. “Now that we’re married and it’s the moment of truth, I’m so very afraid I’ll disappoint you.”

Jackson holds me close and kisses the top of my head. “Ellie, I don’t want you stressing over this. It’s not possible for you to disappoint me. After all, sex is pretty basic, right? I knew you were modest when I proposed. Now, you’re my modest wife. The only expectation I’ve ever had of you is that you be yourself. I can honestly tell you, Ellie, in that regard, you’ve never disappointed me.”

Jackson moves his mouth to my ear and whispers, “Will you let me take care of you? Will you let me love you?” His warm tender kisses caress the anxiety riddled skin of my neck and ear lobes, first one side and then the other. He turns me around so that my back is to his chest. The kisses keep coming. My body is slowly thawing, but my mind won’t quit screaming at me.

Breathlessly, I ask, “What if I can’t do this, Jackson?”

“I promise you can do this, sweetheart. Stop over thinking it.” He kisses my ear. He nibbles my ear. He licks my ear lobe.

His silken words come to my ear again. “Just focus on how you feel when I touch you, sweetheart.” He kisses my ear lobe. He nibbles my jaw line. He gently suckles my ear lobe.

Gooseflesh erupts and my skin tingles. I roll my head to the side so he can better reach my neck.

“That’s my girl, Ellie. Relax and let your body respond to me. His kisses move along the neckline of my dress. When Jackson gets to the zipper of my dress, he reverses its trajectory and exposes several inches of my back. I reach up and free my air from its confines and, with my fingertips, wrangle it loose from its hairspray hold. While Jackson kisses down the length of the zipper, he holds me by my upper arms. Tenderly, he pulls my hair aside and returns his attention to my neck.

Suddenly, he turns me around to face him. He cradles my head in his left hand and pulls my body into his torso with his right. He gazes deeply into my eyes.

“Ellie, until I met you, I never knew it was possible to feel this way about someone. Thank you for showing me all that I’ve missed.”

“Oh, Jackson, that’s such a roman….”

His mouth takes mine in an urgent, tender kiss. It is so lovely in its content I can’t help but moan. He tastes so good. He feels so strong and substantial next to me. His touch, his tenderness, pulls longing from me which creates a delightful ache at the juncture of my legs.

Jackson’s kiss becomes more demanding as he pulls me closer. I can feel the steel of his erection as it pushes into the front of my body. He slides his hand from the small of my back down to my bottom. He pulls my pelvis in tighter against him. He brings his lips to my ear, “Dear God, Ellie. I want you so badly. I’ve waited so long for you, sweetheart.”

I can’t help myself. I begin to tremble. “I want you too, Jackson, but I’m scared.”

“Don’t be scared, Ellie. I’ll never hurt you. I’ll kill anyone who does,” comes Jackson’s ragged, needy voice.

I hear the intensity of both his need and his promise, and, even though the moment is excruciatingly passionate, I can’t help but giggle.

Jackson interrupts his butterfly kisses long enough to ask quietly into my ear, “What’s so funny, sweetheart?”

“I guess it’s nervous energy, Jackson, but I thought it was funny that you said you’d kill anyone who hurt me.”

Jackson ceases his tender kisses as he pulls his head away from me and looks directly into my eyes. “Yes…?” he asks with his voice, as well as, his gaze.

When our gazes meet, I’m startled by what I find in his expression. Instantly, I recognize, with great gravity, how badly I misunderstood Jackson’s words. I gasp and then say with unrestrained surprise, “Oh, my gosh, you were serious, weren’t you?”

“In a heartbeat, Ellie, that’s all the longer it would take for me to annihilate anyone who’d dare harm you,” Jackson reassures me as he kisses the side of my face.

I stand here speechless while I knock Jackson’s confession around inside my head. He’d truly kill someone who hurts me? Really? Who does something like that?

Jackson’s next movement is reluctant because he doesn’t want to release me. His eyes clearly reflect the hesitancy pulling on him. However, he certainly wants our evening to progress, so he does what’s necessary. Curious, I watch him as he steps away from me in order to remove his jacket, tie and shirt.

My lungs involuntarily pull my breath inward as Jackson’s shirt leaves his body and falls to the floor. That’s okay, though, because the only other option is to stop breathing altogether. Jackson stands before me bare-chested, making me think of da Vinci’s David, but David is kind of scrawny compared to Jackson. His chest is expansive, and his large strong arms hang next to a torso that looks like the washboard my grandmother kept hanging above her washing machine as a reminder of the ‘good ole days’.

No kidding. I can actually count the ab muscles present on the front of Jackson’s body.

Do real people, people who aren’t movie stars, really look like this?

I look up at him as he starts toward me. I can’t help the intimidation I feel. I back up a step. Quickly, though, Jackson comes forward and captures my hand.

Jackson wears a slight smile as he asks quietly, “Where are you going, Ellie?”

“Ummm….,” I shake my head slightly until the obvious answer comes to me. “Nowhere, I guess.”

Jackson chuckles at me. “You’re so funny, Ellie,” he says as he tugs on my hand and pulls me into his body. “Come here, sweetheart, and let me love you.” He leads me to the bed. I begin to tremble again.

Evidently, Jackson notices the shiver that’s present in my arm. “You really are nervous, aren’t you?” he asks of me as a true understanding of my anxiety pierces his perception.

“I’m sorry. I hate myself for it,” I shamefully admit, “but I don’t know how to stop it.”

“I do,” he offers instantly.

I’m eager for his insight. “Really? How…how do I stop it?” I ask, desperate for a quick fix for my nerves.

“Jump in with both feet,” he tells me like his advice is the most logical, natural thing in the world. Ellie, he’s your husband. Your body is no longer only yours. It is logical and natural. Stop being stupid!

Jackson sits on the edge of the bed and pulls me into the space between his legs. I can’t take my eyes off him. He’s just too… perfect. He has such a handsome face. I absolutely adore his expressive brown eyes. His neck is powerful and slopes into thick muscular shoulders. His shoulders give way to massive bulging biceps. Jackson is so physically fit that the veins in his body are juxtaposed to his flesh down the entire length of his arms.

My anxiety is eating into the romance and once-in-a-lifetime essence of our moment because Jackson pauses long enough to ask, “Ellie, you’re so preoccupied. What’s bothering you?”

I swallow hard and close my eyes. Quietly, I say, “You’re so… big. I mean, I know you’re big and strong, but without your shirt I can see everything.”

Jackson kisses me to still my nervousness.

In the spirit of jumping in with both feet, I take a deep breath and venture way past my comfort zone. “Can I touch you?” I ask him.

Jackson laughs at me, “I wish you would. You’ll make me very happy.”

I cradle his face with my hands. I reach forward and kiss him gently. It surprises me, but Jackson moans at my kiss. Until now, it hasn’t penetrated my foggy brain that Jackson enjoys my touch same as I do his. I reach out and place my hands on his large shoulders. Jackson closes his eyes. I run my fingers over his shoulders, down onto his biceps.

My hand fails to go halfway around the muscles I find in Jackson’s arm. I bring my right hand to meet my left hand at his right bicep. I wrap my fingers around his arm in an attempt to make the tips of them meet, but I learn my hands aren’t nearly large enough. I look up and find him watching me. I blush, but I manage to say, “Jackson, it’s easy to see what a good-looking guy you are, but your good looks go way past your handsome face.”

“Thank you, Ellie,” he says as he smiles at me. I bring my hands to his neck and run my fingertips down over his collarbone. I trace my fingertips over the inside edges of his pecs and

down the center of his abs. My touch causes gooseflesh to appear on Jackson and he starts to quiver.
Quickly, I pull my hands away, “Did I do that? I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry, Ellie? It amazes and delights me that you can pull that kind of response from me. I love it, please don’t stop.”

“I’m just trying to discover you. If I know you better maybe I won’t be so nervous.”

“By all means, Ellie, discover me. Touch me anywhere, everywhere. I’m waiting for you,” Jackson says as he reaches forward and kisses me.

I place my hands on Jackson’s pectoral muscles. He closes his eyes like he wants to remember the feel of my fingers on his body. He quivers again.

Touching both sides at the same time, I glide my fingertips across Jackson’s nipples. Instantly, his torso straightens as he convulses against my touch.

“Ellie, you feel so damn good. More, Ellie, I want more of you.”

“Really?” I whisper against his ear. “It amazes me that I have anything to offer you, anything you’d want, that is.”

Jackson opens his eyes and looks sternly at me. “Ellie, what are you talking about? Don’t you understand what you do to me? Don’t you understand what you mean to me?” He continues to look at me while his questions burn in his gaze.

Jackson shakes his head in concession when he fails to get a satisfactory response from me. “You don’t know, do you, Ellie? You don’t have a clue.” Jackson pauses again and waits for my answer, but the only response I can muster is to stand silently before him as he continues, “Ellie, you are so damn interesting. You are so capable, yet so unsure of yourself. I can’t wait to know you better. I can’t wait for you to understand how much I love you. I can’t wait for you to learn about the effect you have on me.”

I suddenly become uncomfortable with all the attention Jackson is focusing on me, so I deflect. I don’t want him talking about me. I’m nervous enough already. I flick his nipples again. Jackson straightens and neglects to fight a vocal expression at my touch. He acts as if self-control requires a huge effort on his part. I reach down and forward to kiss his chest. I kiss each side several times. My self-confidence increases so I run my tongue across his nipple. Jackson’s quiver escalates into a full-blown tremor.

Jackson draws in his breath and hurriedly unzips my dress the remainder of the way. He pulls the shoulders of my garment forward until they clear the tops of my arms. With a quiet swoosh my beautiful bridal dress falls to the floor.

I’m standing before him in my bra and panties. They are delicate lace versions I bought especially for tonight.

“Purple?” he asks as he smiles at me. His smile is so perfect it pulls my attention from his eyes.

“Purple’s my favorite, you know.” My tone softens to a whisper. “I’m sorry I don’t have more to offer you, Jackson.”

“I’m sitting here looking at you, sweetheart, wondering what more there could possibly be for you to offer.”

“You’re awfully kind, Jackson,” I tell him as I closely inspect his heavily muscled chest. I had no idea that muscles were truly capable of such sculpted beauty.

“I’m awfully honest, Ellie.” Jackson puts his hand on my waist, pulls me forward and nuzzles my cheekbones. He kisses me tenderly on the neck. He captures my face in his hands and scoots closer to me. His kisses grow more frequent, more urgent as he holds my face where he wants it.

Jackson drops his attention to my collarbone and then his kisses descend down the valley of my chest. My bra is still on, but my knees are getting shaky. Now, it seems it’s my turn to quiver. Jackson brings his tongue against the skin that lies between my breasts, licking up the inside of my left breast, then the right.

My knees literally give way beneath me. Jackson stops my descent with his hands on my bottom. He picks me up and pulls me forward so that I sit astride him. The only contact as of yet is between the outside of his thighs and the inside of mine. He’s still kissing me, though. The kisses never stop.

I lean forward slightly, rest my forearms on his shoulders, and twist my fingers in the hair on the back of his head. I just love touching him. He’s so virile and so desirable. My harnessed breasts hang freely in the limited space between our bodies. The anticipation of his touch is making me hurt in all the right places. The ache between my legs is obvious of course, but my nipples are beginning to ache with a longing all their own. I can’t believe I’m married to this incredible man, a man who ignites this kind of passion in me. For some reason, he thinks he’s the lucky one. I’ll never understand that.

Jackson’s hair is so soft and wavy, blonde and beautiful. It’s such a shame he’ll never have kids. They’d have been beautiful…just like their dad….

Slowly, Jackson’s voice pierces my reverie. “Ellie, Ellie, are you with me, sweetheart?”

“Yes, I’m here, Jackson,” I groan as I arch my back and reach to kiss the underside of Jackson’s jaw line. “I was thinking about how blessed I am to be married to you,” I tell him.

Surprised, Jackson asks “Really?”

“Oh, yes. I’m afraid I’m dreaming, Jackson. I’m terrified I’ll wake up and find that it’s over. I’m so afraid it will end,” I admit breathlessly. I’m unable to disguise the fact that Jackson’s seduction is working beautifully. It’s so incredibly obvious that my voice is filled with my rising need and, resultant, urgency.

Jackson reassures me. “Ellie, sweetheart, you are awake. There will be no end to what we have. This is only the beginning, Ellie. You and I together forever. That’s okay, isn’t it?”

“It’s more than ok, Jackson. It’s everything,” I whisper into his left ear as I kiss it sweetly.

Jackson’s voice reveals the struggle he’s having. “Ellie, as much as I love your lavender underwear we’ve come to the point where it’s in my way.” He reaches around behind me and unfastens my bra. He gazes into my eyes as he releases the hook and lowers the straps from my shoulders. It takes only a second for my bra to fall completely away from my body.

Once I’m bare before him Jackson drops his gaze to my naked bosom. Jackson leans in and whispers into my ear. His breath on the auricle of my ear makes me quiver. “Oh, my God, Ellie, you are so beautiful.” He cups each breast with one of his hands. An electric current commands my skin to erupt in goose flesh.
“A perfect fit, don’t you think?” Jackson asks as he kneads my breasts within his fingers. I moan agreement that my breasts do a fine job of filling his hands. His touch is so soothing and stimulating at the same time. The motion of his fingers on my bosom makes me want more of him.

As if he reads my mind Jackson brushes his thumbs across my nipples. If the little nubs weren’t already erect, they certainly are now. I gasp at the surprise stimulus while my body heats and moistens in anticipation of Jackson’s presence.

Back across my nipples a second, third and fourth time. I begin to weep. My body is so ready, so needy. No one has touched me like this since Thomas died. It’s been far too long. I wasn’t aware I needed this so badly.

“Ellie, why are you crying?” comes Jackson’s kind gentle voice.

No embellishment is needed so I simply say, “I want you.”

“I want you too, sweetheart. I’m coming for you. It won’t be long now, Ellie. I promise. Is there anything special you’d like for me to do for you?”

The ache in me is intensifying quickly. It’s far past the point of being a mere annoyance. My ache is nearly sentient. “I’m truly beginning to hurt, Jackson. All I need is for you to take care of me.”

“Oh, I’m going too, Ellie. I’ll take care of every need you can think of, sweetheart.”

“Please, Jackson, please,” I beg as I lean toward him for a kiss. He meets me and kisses me deeply as he rubs my nipples. I moan with a sound that originates from deep within my feminine center. My vocal cords are the singular audible resource with which I express my longing.

Jackson’s kisses move from my lips to my breasts. Little butterfly kisses flutter and land on the bulk of my bosom. Each kiss brings tingles and soon my breasts feel like they’re alive with the energy of Jackson’s attention.

Then his lips come to my nipples. At first, there’s the gentle tug of his lips on them, but soon he segues into firm pressure, licks and suckles. Jackson’s suckles on my nipples send me soaring as I lean backwards into the barrier of his arms behind me.

I can’t wait any longer. I voice my objection to what I perceive as Jackson’s unacceptable time schedule. “You’re taking too long, Jackson. You’re only making the hurt grow. Please fix this for me. You’re the only one who can take away the ache,” I plead and whine as I writhe before him.

“Shhhh…, Ellie,” Jackson admonishes me. “Let me you enjoy you, please. I’ve waited my entire life for you. Please just a few more minutes?”

I sigh in mock defeat. How can I refuse him? My satisfaction will not be denied me. It’s only delayed for a short while. This is Jackson’s only wedding night. He’s had to talk me down several times today. I need to give him the time he wants to play with me. I have to put my need aside and help Jackson meet his.

“I’m all yours, Jackson. Do with me what you want,” I encourage him.

Jackson places his hands on the backside of my bottom and scoots me forward so my crotch makes contact with his throbbing shaft. I lean in toward his neck and kiss his cheek. I bring my fingertips to his nipples. Instantly, Jackson’s attention becomes less patient and far more insistent.

I find myself involuntarily pulsing my crotch against his restrained hardness. My breath is getting harder and harder to catch. The air I need arrives in shallow, raspy spurts. I pulse harder against his groin.

Forget about patience and play time.

“Jackson, please?” I moan into his neck. He stands with me astride him, holding me with one arm under my bottom while he pulls back the bed covers. Next, he centers me on the luxurious bedding.

He pulls my panties off and frees my bottom before him. Jackson’s voice comes to my ear like liquid silk. “Oh my God Ellie, you are so beautiful, so perfect. I can’t believe you’re mine, all mine.”

Without warning, Jackson takes hold of my legs behind my knees and pushes my knees upward toward my belly so that my legs open before him. He forges his fingers deep inside me. In response, I pick my pelvis up off the bed and rise to meet the pressure of his penetration. Jackson responds by deepening his contact. Several small, pleasure filled groans escape me.

Quietly, but quickly, intimidation attempts to strangle my trust in my husband as I remember the size of Jackson’s large muscular body before me. I reach for Jackson’s hand.

He recognizes my intent. “No, Ellie. I won’t let go of you. You belong to me, now. Let me love you, sweetheart. Let me take care of you.”

His soothing words and the unfaltering pressure of his fingers against my insides fend off the intimidation I feel. I drop my hand and focus on the longing he’s created in me. He begins to kiss my belly. His kisses move lower and lower as they work their way down to my pelvis.

“No, Jackson. I don’t want or….”

“I’ll respect your wishes, Ellie. I’m only playing with you, sweetheart.” I’m unsure how, I didn’t know it was possible, but Jackson’s fingers probe more deeply into me. My body does as he commands and readily accepts him. The longer Jackson works me, the more intense the ache inside me grows.

“Jackson,” I moan breathlessly.

“Yes, Ellie?”

“Please put an end to this. I can’t take much more.”

“That’s such a shame, sweetheart. There’s so much more I want for you.”

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