I walk out of the office before breaking into a run to the toilets. I slam the door shut and break down in a cubicle, I loved my new position but I can’t stand to see him every day be close to him, at least with the finance department he is never on that floor and I can get back to what I know best. I pull myself together and keep my head down sorting out everything for Mr Harris so he could hand over the position to anyone new coming in, I collect Jasmine from nursery and head home. As I’m getting out of my car, Logan pulls up next door. Oh please don’t try and talk to me. I am a little relieved when he just walks into his house. I put Jasmine to bed and curl on the sofa. At some point, it’s the middle of the morning and I wake up and make my way into the kitchen.
I look at the clock its 3 am. I start to make myself a cup of tea it always makes me feel better and right now I feel like shit how did things get so messed up. My phone pings and Logans name appears on the screen.
“I can’t sleep can we talk? I won’t come over, just see you are awake too.”
I contemplate not replying but he is going to be impossible to avoid so I start to write a text.
“I don’t know what there is to say?” I watch as the three dots appear and then his response.
“I know it looked bad but I swear there is more to it!” I don’t know why I care so much but if anything closure is always a good thing.
I text back. “Did you kiss her?”
My heart sinks as I read his answer. “Yeah twice, once I remember I pushed her away it should never have happened, second it’s fuzzy I don’t remember all the details!”
Apparently, it’s not enough I need to see the truth in black and white. “Did you have sex?”
My heart stops when I see the first word. “No, she drugged me she gave me GHB.”
What the hell is going on I can’t quite believe what I am reading. “Why didn’t you tell me that first?
I wait, needing him to explain more if he had of just said that things could have been different. “I was trying to explain everything, I’m so sorry.”
I sip my tea and write back. “I can’t believe she did that, that’s fucked up. Look we never were exclusive so I can’t be angry guess it was a shock, we were just seeing how it went! I think we should have just left it after that first night! Think I need to focus on myself for a while.”
I wait for what feels like forever and then my phone finally pings “If that’s what you want, after your Ex. I should have known better, I have fucked this up, can we at least be friends?”
Maybe this is for the best, Logan is too young he is on a completely different part of his life compared to me. “Well we are neighbours, we work together, why not add friends to the list.”
Apart of me feels that this is the right decision but there is that part that is screaming at me that I am making a huge mistake I smile as I see his message pop up “Thanks Vanessa, goodnight.”
I put my phone away and go back to bed for a bit, it’s not long before my alarm goes off and the day starts, I get ready for work and head back to my old desk. The rest of the week goes by drama free and I finally feel more myself. It’s Friday lunchtime shit I forgot my date with Christian. As if he was in my head my phone pings.
So tonight at 7 pm, where I’m I picking you up? I bite my lip this isn’t going to be nice but I have to do it.
“Hi, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to cancel, you’re a great guy but I’m not ready to date anyone right now”
My tummy does a flip when he replies. “Fuck I left it too long, I have the worse timing ever, maybe another time?”
Not wanting to completely shut him down I do a quick reply. “Yeah, maybe.”
I finish work and Derek is picking Jasmine up for the weekend. Victoria talks me into going out tonight since I cancelled my date, I need a girls night so this should be fun, I think its what I need. I shower and get my ready, I have my hair and make up all finished. I just finish zipping my dress when the front door knocks, I open it and find Derek standing there, I hand him the bags. His gaze travels up and down my body with a look I use to get a long time ago but I brush it off not in the mood for any of his shit.
Jasmine runs up hugging Derek. “Daddy, yeah daddy” Derek smiles at her “Hi pumpkin you ready?” Jasmine nods. “Just need teddy.” Derek turns his attention back to me. “So hot date tonight?” I turn around wishing Jasmine was back already I correct him. “Girls night actually!” Derek laughs “Where’s lover boy?” I look at him not giving him the satisfaction of upsetting me. “I’m just focusing on myself right now.”
Derek looks at my breasts and it makes me feel uneasy. “So he got bored?” I can feel the anger rise in my body. “You really are a piece of shi...” I get interrupted by Jasmine “Daddy ready”
Fuck what did I ever see in him, he is standing there looking at me, I know that look, it used to make me wet now it’s just freaking me the hell out. Thanks but no thanks. I smile at Jasmine “Ok sweet pea be good for daddy I will see you Sunday.” Jasmine gives me a big hug. “Bye mummy, I love you.”
I watch as Derek puts Jasmine in the car he looks back at the house, what the fuck, what’s he forgot, I open the front door, he walks directly at me. I don’t react quick enough he kisses me hard shoving his tongue down my throat. I push him back punching him hard in the face he pulls back and his nose pissing of blood. “Leave now you prick! Get in your car don’t ever touch me again.” He holds his nose smirking but finally turns around and heads to his car. I slam the door as he walks out what the hell just happened. I get into the taxi and go meet Victoria at the bar. I order a drink and gulp it down enjoying the burn of the amber liquid I start venting about what happened, she just smiles at me and tells me she has a surprise for me! “Victoria NO after the shit Derek pulled I’m not in the mood” Victoria grabs my hand pulling at me “Get in the mood this shit is happening it’s about time you took life by the balls, let your hair down and enjoy yourself, your confidence has been knocked, now come on.” She orders a taxi and we start the drive, we pull up to the strip club! “Vic I can’t be here!” Victoria yanks my arms pulling me out of the car.
“Oh yes you can, come on.” She pulls me in and her friends are already there! I look up at the bar he isn’t here sure he wouldn’t be, he was supposed to be on a date with me. I feel a little relieved, I order a drink and come back, Victoria is grinning from ear to ear and Destiny is standing beside her. I look at them hard, they are up to something “What’s going on?” Victoria comes over to me handing me a new drink “Well after your little display at my birthday we kinda thought you need to do another performance!” I scoff at her “You’re shitting me, nice joke haha!” Destiny smiles at me “You’re a natural, I talked to my boss she saw your moves and well she agreed to give you a one song spot tonight” I feel sick “How did you organise this on such short notice?” Victoria laughs “Never mind, now do it.” I down my drink “You’re fucking crazy I’m not doing this, it’s open. When we did it, it was closed and only us!!!” Destiny comes closer. “Between hair make-up and an outfit no one has to know who you are!” I pick up a drink I have no clue who it belongs to and take it down in one.
No one would know it’s me, it’s just one song, I have all the control! Derek making the comments about Logan being bored, him cheating on me. Something just snaps. “I’ll do it” Victoria jumps up and down clapping her hands “Whooo hooo that a girl” Rachel claps along grinning “I can’t wait to see this” Destiny takes my hand and leads me to a door at the side. “Let’s go we need to get you ready and song picked” I’m standing behind the curtain I walk on stage it’s pitch black I can only subtly make out the crowd. The song starts and my body just takes over, exactly like I did last time, I just listen to the music and work the pole. The song finishes and the place goes mental. I didn’t even notice how much money made its way onto the stage. My heart is beating so hard I practically run out the back and Destiny is waiting for me. “That was so hot, holy shit. I get back into my clothes trying to calm myself down. I’m walking back out to the girls when they come screaming over to me, my sister pulls me in for a hug. “Hot momma that was insane!” I smile at her and take the glass from her. “That was a lot of fun.”
I look at the bar and see Logan and Dean standing I go to turn around until I hear a voice I know too well, I don’t turn around. Logan is better than who is behind me. How small is this fucking world? I can hear Derek’s chat with Destiny. “How much for a private dance with that last girl?” Destiny politely answers “I’m sorry Vixen isn’t available that was a one time only thing, glad you enjoyed the show.”
Why is he not with Jasmine it’s his time with her and he is here looking private dances, Destiny comes strolling towards me with an envelope in her hand. "My boss has a gift for you, she says you are quite the money maker” I feel both Derek and Logan’s eyes bore into me when they see Destiny hand me the envelope, it’s clear to see they have worked out what just happened. Before I can turn on my heels and get the hell out of this place I hear my sister “Alright dickhead why are you here” Could this night get any worse. “My favourite ex sister in law I could ask you the same thing” Victoria waves around her. “Girls night what’s it look like, where exactly is my niece? Derek looks me up and down again. “It sure looks like something and Jazzy is fine” Victoria looks at me when she realises something is up she looks at Derek and then notices Logan behind me! Victoria mouths at me. “Oh f*uck.”
I start to walk towards the exit when I feel a hand go around my waist and a voice whispers in my ear. “I said it last time you are full of surprises. You have me worked up so much again, that made up for my shitty Friday night.”