I’m sitting waiting for Vanessa to show up and I can’t keep my shit together I’m nervous and shaking a little. Then I see her walk around the corner. My heart jumps a little and I can’t help but give her a small smile when she sees me. After all this time she still looks breathtaking she walks in taking the seat in front of me.
"Sorry I’m a little late did you order yet?" I shake my head looking at the menu. "No I was waiting for you to arrive, this place hasn’t changed a bit." Vanessa gives me a little smile. "I know it’s great after all this time it’s still amazing. Every time I’m here I make sure to call in." I set the menu you down and ask. "So how’s everything? I heard you moved!" Vanessa has a sad look on her face.
"Everything is fine, can’t complain Jasmine is eight now, Derek’s still a dick, he and Cora are separated she caught him in bed with the new intern, no surprise there. Yeah once Cora had their little one, Jasmine was no longer a priority he got the boy he always wanted! I just decided I needed a fresh start he was constantly in my face everywhere I went, it was too much so we decided to move to a little coastal village. I opened my own firm starting small and it just kinda took off." I sit in awe of her.
"That’s great you always wanted to open your own business, I can’t believe Jasmine is now eight that’s crazy. How do you find where you live?" Vanessa's demeanour changes completely with me "Logan I appreciate the small talk but you said you wanted closure this doesn't gain closure talking about where we are!"
I look at her, she turns to the side, I am so sure she wiped a tear away. That’s when I noticed it. It’s gone! Maybe it was a one-off, I don’t know what to think and it’s not like I can ask her about it, not really I whisper shout. "Fine ok, I need closure!" Vanessa shakes her head. "We got closure five years ago when you got on a flight to New York and never came back. We didn’t even speak it was over, it is over. So how did you not think that was closure, you're the one getting engaged, you moved on it’s fine, what we had was a long time ago. I learned to accept that. So is that enough for you! What closure did you expect me to give you other than letting you get on the flight and never contact you."
I can hear her voice begin to waver and I take my turn. "So that was it for you, my note, my gift meant nothing to you." Vanessa absentmindedly touches her chest to where the necklace was yesterday. "It meant something at the time." I call her out "Bullshit!" Vanessa shakes her head at me "What does that mean?" I glare at her. "You know exactly what that means Vanessa? Vanessa begins to grab her things and turns to me.
"This was a mistake I should never have agreed to this!" She grabs her bag and starts walking towards the door, my head is telling me to let her go that it’s done but my heart can’t let her walk away like this. I stand up and quickly make my way out the door shouting after her. "Vanessa... VANESSA!! she picks up her pace and never turns around she just shouts at me. "Go back to New York Logan there is nothing here for you!!" She jumps into a taxi and is gone before I can reach her ... I run my hands through my hair as I watch the taxi drive off in the distance standing in the middle of the road I scream. "F*uuuccckkkkk!"
The Wedding Eve
The boys are all getting together for one last single get together. We decide to go to the bar and have a beer. I walk over handing my best friend the bottle. "I can’t believe you're getting married tomorrow!" Dean smiles at me "Me too but she’s great, she’s my better half, with her I would do anything, I gave up my womanising ways for her. I can’t wait for her to be Mrs Victoria Sinclair."
I take a drink of my beer before patting him on the back. "You look so happy when you say that." Dean shrugs and takes a sip of his beer. "She means the world to me, I’m so lucky the have her, sure you feel that for Carmen?" I take a sip of my beer and he looks at me and makes a comment. "Hmmm ok?" I stare at him and ask. "What?" Dean gives me a smirk "A little birdy told me you got caught looking at a ring!" I let out a sigh "Of all the people to catch me." Dean gives me a knowing look and says. "Its what she needed to see man!" I look at him.
"Wait, what do you mean by that?" Dean looks at me like he said something wrong and plays dumb "What? ...Shit, its nothing." I start to get annoyed. "Bullshit now spill it!!" Dean shakes his head and pleads with me. "I can’t Victoria will call off the wedding and my life won’t be worth living," I ask him again. "What aren’t you telling me?"
He sits there and looks at his phone I snatch it away from him. I lose my shit "You're my best friend and I’m asking you not to fucking lie to my face" Dean slams his bottle down "For fuck sake don’t make me choose between you and my future wife." I stand up and shout.
"Fuck this, I will see you in the morning." I start to walk out of the bar when I hear him. "She came to see you" I turn around and find him looking conflicted. "Who?" Dean whispers her name. "Vanessa, she went to New York to find you." I shrug. "Yeah, she bumped into me and then did a runner!!!" Dean shakes his head "No Logan not that time, there was a time before." I don't believe anything he is telling me. "I never saw her before that night in the restaurant." Dean starts to explain. "She saw you with some stunning blonde in a bar... Carmen." This can’t be right, why didn’t she tell me. Things could have been different. "When?" Dean looks at me "about 3 years ago, if I didn’t know any better I would think it was..." I cut him off and say. "The night I met Carmen." Dean walks back to the bar ordering a few whiskey shots before turning to me. "She wasn’t to know that, once she saw you with Carmen she called Victoria in tears." I down one of the whiskey shots needing to numb my feelings "I didn’t know!"
Dean takes his shot and sets the glass back down "Now you know but it isn’t going to make a difference you have moved on with Carmen and Vanessa has accepted it... finally." I plead with my best friend tired of being in the dark. "Be more clearer for me when you say finally, how final?" my friend shakes his head and I know I am pushing my luck as he puts his hands up. "Nothing forget I said anything it’s not fair to Vanessa just let her go." I stare at him and utter. "I want to know... I need to know!"
Dean shakes his head. "I can’t, if I say something you're just going to think I’m trying to fuck over Carmen, I don’t like her but I’m not sabotaging your relationship with her." Deans phone rings... "Hi baby, yeah I’m heading home now just finishing this last beer, I love you too I will see you at the alter. Yeah, he is here! I really don’t think you should." he hands me the phone "she wants to talk to you." I take the phone and I hear her voice. "Hi, Victoria, good luck for tomorrow ... wait, what? you can’t be serious! ok, I will... you have my word." I hand the phone back to Dean and he looks at me. "Are you ok?"
I shake my head. "I shouldn’t have expected anything less from Victoria she always protected her as best she could. Guess out of respect for your big day. I will stay away from Vanessa as much as I can except for photos and the bridal dance." Dean pats my back "I’m sorry man it’s been a rough few days." I look at dean finally working things out. "So she wasn’t over me?" Dean nods and gives me a small smile. "Something like that, it’s been a recent development the letting go."
"I need just one last thing and then I promise I will stop," I say to Dean. "I am going to ask you just one thing, what do you know about the heart necklace? Dean sighs. "That thing was never off her neck until a few ... ah, fuck Logan. I love you man but you always were a little slow. I’m going to have to go now before I land myself in any more shit man."
I respect Dean he has said enough, calling it a night I look at Dean. "Yeah think I need to go, have to call Carmen." I head back to my hotel room and take out my phone
Ring... Ring... Ring... "Hi Logan," I feel guilty. "Hi sweetie, how are you?" Carmen's voice comes out sultry "I’m good the bed is awful big without you!" I imagine her in our bed but I feel dead inside my words empty. "Well, I will be home in just over a week." Carmen asks "How is it?" I keep it short and sweet. "Yeah, it’s been nice to catch up with old friends." Carmen questions. "So Dean gets married tomorrow?" I have no idea where she is going with this. "Yeah, big days tomorrow." Carmen scoffs. "Who the hell would ever marry him? poor bitch but then I remember he is marrying just that". My blood boils at her braising attack of my friends. "Jesus Christ Carmen for just once do you think you could give my friends less shit?" Carmen yells at me "What! they don't like me what’s the big deal." I have enough and yell back "One, you never liked them you didn’t even give them a chance and second he is my best friend and always will be, so enough of our your shit." Carmen has venom in her words "What the hell has gotten into you, we may be apart but I’m still your fucking girlfriend." Before I say something I regret I tell her.
"I’m not doing this Carmen I will talk to you later." I can hear her scream down the phone as I hit the end button. "Don’t you dare hang up on me!" Beeeppppp. I can’t be arsed with this, I haven’t spoken to her in a few days properly and she starts that crap. I go to grab a hot shower once I am out I glance at my phone 13 missed calls, 5 angry texts and 2 voicemails. I ignore it all. I cuddle up in the bed and drift off to sleep. I wake up the next morning and go to Deans to get ready, he is so happy and we all have a beer to toast their wedding day. Dean hands me a box and mouths "Don’t lose them!" I clutch the box and look at him crossing my heart in a joke I say. "promise I will guard them!"
We make our way to the church, as we make our way inside, the guests are arriving and taking their seats when we get the signal that the bride has arrived.
We are drinking champagne and getting ready. Victoria is so relaxed and unbelievably happy. The girls look fab and Jasmines dress is adorable. I’m standing in the bedroom getting Victoria into her wedding dress. "Your dress is stunning. You look beautiful." Victoria looks at me and we both can see tears well in our eyes. "Don’t you cry, if you go, I’m going to go. I’m so happy for you, today is going to be incredible." Victoria bites her bottom lip. "Don’t be mad at me it’s my wedding day." I look at her trying to remain calm. "What did you do?" Victoria pauses for a minute before drowning the rest of champagne. "Ok well, I sorta told Logan to stay away from you today except for pictures and the bridal dance." I appreciate my sister's gesture. "I can deal with Logan myself but thank you for caring." Victoria pulls me in for a hug and whispers into my ear. "I just don’t want you upset, it’s time you moved on." I pull away nodding. "I will be fine with a little more time, it was good that I saw him, it’s actually over for good."
Victoria has a look of worry on her face like she doesn't believe me "If it any point you need a break you can always use the honeymoon suite I know it’s going to be a little intense at times" I take my sisters hand and give it a little squeeze. "Thank you so much for thinking about me! I love you."
We get into the wedding cars and make our way to the church. The music starts playing and we walk up the aisle. I feel him his eyes never leaving me but I can't bring myself to look at him.
We hear the music and we all stand up waiting for the girls. Jasmine walks in and looks so grown up now. Then the bridesmaids walk in and that’s when I freeze, everything goes in slow-mo, I can’t take my eyes off her. I look at her as she reaches the bride side of the aisle, she doesn’t look at me, she just keeps her eyes focused on Victoria, she looks stunning and Dean actually has tears in his eyes as she walks towards him. The ceremony is kept short and sweet with them opting for the traditional vows. Vanessa has to walk back down the aisle with me but as soon as we are outside she makes it her mission to get away from me. Jasmine runs over to me "LOGY!!!!!!" giving me a big hug I pull her back and get a proper look at her. "I can’t believe how big you have got, what are you five now? She giggles "No silly I’m eight."
Vanessa is looking over at us she waves Jasmine over. "Gotta go get pictures taken, see you later Logy!!" I smile and watch her runoff. "See you later Jazz." The rest of the day flies by between all the pictures being taken and conversations with old friends we have had the wedding dinner and the next thing I know the bride and groom are on the dance floor. The crowd cheers as the song ended, the rest of the bridal party gets up on the floor. I am dancing with Victoria and Dean with Vanessa. Victoria looks at me. "Thank you"
I look at her and give her a nod. "I promised you didn’t I?" Victoria looks at me and I can see she has a lot to say to me. "Yeah but I’m not blind, you have barely kept your eyes off her." I find my eyes find her again. "It’s hard, I’m confused seeing her again." She gives me a soft smile. "Once you go back, you don’t have to worry about that Logan" I look at her. "You know he told me... Dean .... about New York" Victoria's face is crimson with rage. "That mother fu..." I look at her and give her a look. "Don’t blame him I forced him to." Victoria bites her lip "Please don’t make a big deal about it, it was a long time ago, it broke her to see you with Carmen. Then the other day" I look at her knowingly "With the ring shopping." Victoria has tears pool her eyes "She finally came to terms with it. She made peace with it."
"You mean taking my heart off." Victoria gently nods. "Yeah, she wore that every day since you left then when she brought us the wedding rings and dresses it was no longer around her neck, she started to cry and just said she didn’t want to talk about it, so we didn’t push her." I try to get the words out. "I don’t know what to do?" Victoria slips her hands to my shoulders and stops us dancing. "That’s easy you go back, marry Carmen and leave Vanessa alone, you moved on and it’s about time she did the same. So do me a favour and end it once and for all."
We move closer to Dean and Vanessa. Victoria looks at her sister "Do you mind if I have my husband back?" Vanessa laughs and moves away. "No please he is all yours." Vanessa turns to leave the dance floor, I grab her arm and pull her into me. I lean closer into her, I can’t help it I inhale her scent. I put my arms around her waist she wraps hers around my neck, she won’t meet my eyes she keeps looking around. "You look absolutely stunning today." Vanessa gets a blush to her cheeks "Thank you, you're very handsome."
I pull her even closer leaning to her right side I whisper "I think you forgot to mention something to me the other day when I asked for closure?" Vanessa softly asks "Like what?"
"New York, the time you saw me at the bar." She looks at me and tears well in her eyes."Why didn’t you tell me, Vanessa?" She finally looks into my eyes and body comes alive. "You were with her, what was I suppose to do. I was cheated on I wasn’t about to steal you back. I won’t be that person." I let out a sigh. "That was the night I met Carmen we weren’t dating, things could have been different if I saw you." Vanessa tries to look for an exit "It’s too late." I plead with her. "Is it? Is it really? I saw the necklace I know you only took it off the day I was holding the engagement ring." Vanessa begins to softly cry. "You have Carmen, leave me alone."
I can't help it I ask her the question I have wanted the answer for, for five years. "Do you love me?" Vanessa wipes a tear away and looks at me "What?" I look into those beautiful eyes I always got lost in all those year ago. "Yes or No Vanessa, Do.You.Love.Me."
Vanessa steps back looking around and then back into my eyes. "I do, I never stopped." My heart stops beating. "Fuck Vanessa, I haven’t stopped thinking about you I tried I locked all those feeling away but seeing you...It made me realise..."
Before I get the rest out someone is tapping my shoulder and I turn around to find her angry glare on me her voice comes out with a bitterness to her words. "Do you mind if I cut in?"