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Chapter 20


I’m standing holding Vanessa and looking at Carmen who is piercing her eyes into us both, she takes a step closer to me. “Hi honey... miss me?” Vanessa steps back. “I will just leave you two alone.” I refuse to let this happen. “No Carmen, actually I’m going to finish this dance then you can cut in. We need to talk!” Carmen irritated answers. “Yes, we do!” She glares at Vanessa with such a hateful look. “And you are?” I see Vanessa stand up straight refusing to be intimated. “Vanessa, you must be Carmen I have heard so much about you!” Carmen plasters a fake smile on her face. “Well, Logan loves...” Vanessa cuts her off. “No actually not Logan, funny he has never mentioned you! Dean and Victoria told me all about you!”

Vanessa just stares at Carmen, I think Carmen is going to slap her before she shouts. “Oh, what a surprise Dean what a prick and the bitch Victoria” Vanessa steps forward. “Watch your fucking mouth.” Carmen steps back “Who do you think you are?” Vanessa points over at Dean and Victoria. “That prick and bitch just so happen to be my family. So I suggest you get the fuck away from me. I won’t be held accountable for fucking up that pretty face.”

I can’t be responsible for a scrap at my friend’s wedding. “Fuck this, Carmen come with me.” I grab Carmen and lead her out the double doors, I turn back to Vanessa and mouth “sorry” at her. Carmen spins around and glares at me I take one look at her and ask. “Why are you here?” Carmen pouts and I swear I want to roll my eyes into the back of my head. “Aren’t you happy to see me?” I run my hand through my hair. “You told me you couldn’t make it now here you are?” Carmen puts her hands on her hips and taps her foot. “Well after our conversation yesterday, I thought you needed a reminder of what you have?” I scoff. “I didn’t need reminding.”

Carmen steps closer to me placing her hands on my chest and looking into my eyes. “Yeah, I just missed you, baby?” She leans in and kisses me, I hear the double doors behind me open and Vanessa walks out looking at us both. Carmen looks at her and smiles. I push Carmen away, “What the hell Logan, what is going on?” I look at Vanessa. “We need to talk.” Carmen points at Vanessa. “Who is she?”

I look at Vanessa she is walking across the lobby and heading to the elevator. I run to the elevator getting into it just as the door closes. Vanessa looks at me, I hear Carmen shout my name. “LOGAN!!”

I grab Vanessa’s hand. “I am so sorry about her” Vanessa snatches her hand away “It’s fine seriously I just need some time to myself” I look at her moving closer. “We aren’t done talking about us Vanessa.” I watch her chest rise and fall I can tell she is annoyed “What I just watched Logan, I think we are!” Without even thinking the words just come out “I want you!” Vanessa shakes her head “What about Carmen? I’m not cheating I told you before.”

I step closer again. “What if there was no Carmen in the picture?” Vanessa sighs. “I won’t make you pick between us” I pull her to me. “I’m not making you, I thought coming here was for closure with you, then I saw you and I realised I never stopped loving you. Please just let me sort this and I will come to find you in a while.” Vanessa walks out of the elevator, not saying anything the doors close and I head back to the lobby Carmen is pacing back and forth, she comes over to me and slaps me across the face. “Who the fuck is she?” I hold my face where it’s stinging like a bitch. “Come with me!” I lead her outside to the garden she’s looking at me pissed!! “Vanessa is my ex, Carmen.”

Her face is red with anger. “Your ex? you friggin kidding me, you were all over her!” I sigh “We were just dancing” Carmen punches her fingers into my chest with each word. “Have. you. fucked. her!” I look into her eyes. “I have never cheated on you.”

Carmen wails “You, fucking liar, Logan” I stand my ground “I have never cheated on you, ever!” I step back. “Carmen, we haven’t been happy for months. When I get back I am moving out.” Carmen looks like I have just slapped her stunned at what’s happening. “Wait are you breaking up with me?” I look at her she’s not even upset she’s livid. I just stand there shuffling my feet, I don’t want to hurt anyone but I can’t be with Carmen anymore it’s not fair to anyone involved.

I love Vanessa, I always have. I can’t deny it anymore, I won’t. We have lost so much time together. “Fuck you, Logan.” I start to walk away from her, I hear her heels follow me. “Logan wait I’m sorry baby, it’s just a rough patch.” I turn around and watch her not a single tear, nothing. “Carmen, I don’t want this anymore.” I’m pushing the elevator button and she’s behind me. She’s trying to wrap her arms around me. “Carmen I mean it please listen to me.” Carmen grabs my arm “Just hear me out please I’m begging you, Logan!” She follows me into the elevator!

“I’m sorry you came all this way really I am but we can’t be together anymore Carmen.” She looks at me all I see is anger. “Is this about her?” I decide to own my truth. “You want the blatant truth.... yes it’s part to do with Vanessa.” Carmen scornful yells “She’s nothing special you’re about to throw away what we have for what?” I throwback at her.

“You don’t know anything about her!” Carmen smiles and sarcasm drips from her tone. “Well, that’s what happens when you decide to keep her as a secret Logan.” I walk up to my room door and walk in I find Carmen watching me. “I’m guessing you have nowhere to stay since you’re here last minute. You can have my room.” I’m starting to get all my stuff into the bags, I decide to crash at my dad’s place. I am not a total dick she came all this way. Carmen tries to grab my bag. “Please Logan don’t leave me here all by myself. We can work this out.”

I start to get frustrated about going in circles. “Did you not hear anything I just said. Carmen, it’s over between us I don’t want to be with you anymore!” I grab my bags and head towards the door. She runs after me and moves in front of the door. “You walk out that door you will regret it, you will come back to me Logan,” I yell at her. “Carmen move!” She sidesteps away from the door and smiles at me. I go down to the wedding reception and apologise to Dean and Victoria, out of the corner of my eye I see Vanessa. I walk over to her and order a beer at the bar.

“Can I get you a drink, Vanessa?” she refuses to look at me. “I’m actually just heading to the dance floor. Thank you” As she walks away I sidestep into her path. “I ended things with Carmen” Vanessa finally looks at me. “You did?” I nod and I can feel my words fall out “I’m serious about us Vanessa, I want a .... is this like the 3rd chance?”

Vanessa, gives me a soft smile “I stopped counting, Victoria did say you’re like a cat with 9 lives.” I gently take her hand. “Will you meet me tomorrow for dinner I would like to catch up properly with you.” I watch as Vanessa plays with our hands and sucks in her bottom lip. “Yeah, I would like that!” I try to keep a smile from breaking all over my face it is such a relief that she’s giving me a chance. “How about 7 pm at The Red House I hear they make a pretty decent Sunday Roast.” Vanessa gently takes her hand back. “It’s a date.” I quickly finish my beer. “Well I think I have caused enough drama, I’m heading to my dads now enjoy the rest of the night.”

I’m getting ready for my date with Vanessa. When I got to my dads last night I told him what had happened. He poured me a whiskey and let me tell him my side. I told him I actually might like to come back here to stay for good, New York just has something missing... Vanessa. He actually was really nice about the whole mess he said I should follow my heart and do what makes me happy. I’m grabbing my wallet when I hear a knock at the door and someone with a raised voice. I recognise that voice. “Logan you need to come down here.” I walk down and there in my dad’s hallway stands Carmen. My dad slips off somewhere else giving us privacy. I stand there and look at her she really isn’t letting this go. “Hi, Logan can we have a chat?”

I shake my head grabbing my jacket “Actually I was heading out!” Carmen walks closer to me smiling. “This won’t take long.” I sigh “Carmen when are you going to give this up, it’s over there is nothing left to say.”

Carmen cocks her eyebrow at me. “Actually I have something to say!”


I’m standing with a glass of wine, while I get ready for my date with Logan I feel nervous and giddy. I place my necklace back on around my neck. I grab my handbag and make my way out the door. I can’t believe after all this time, I’m going on a date with Logan again. I thought we were over for good I never imagined we would give this a go again but I can’t stop smiling. I never want to lose him again. After five years apart when I looked at him, it felt like no time had passed. I feel guilty about Carmen but I didn’t ask Logan to make that decision. I arrive at the restaurant a little early I ask for a table for two and I sit and wait for Logan. I’m sipping my glass of wine when I look at my phone it’s 7:10. Ok don’t panic he could be running late. I finish my glass of wine and order another I look at my phone it’s now 7:40, maybe he said 8, have I got the wrong time? I don’t even have his number to text him.

Hey, Dean, I know you are on your way to the airport but can you send me Logan’s number?

My phone starts to ring and I hear Dean on the other end. “Nessa, why are you asking for that number?” I pause for a minute “Emmm... Logan broke up with Carmen” Dean yells “What the fuck?” I verbally attack him speaking quickly. “And I’m kinda sitting here waiting for him on our date! I think I got the wrong time?” I hear him laugh. “Ok, I will text you the number!” (Shes what??) I hear my sisters voice in the background. Dean laughs. “Yeah Victoria says hi” (gimme that phone Dean) “hun no leave it alone” (you want an annulment?) “no wife” I hear some fussing about with Deans phone then I hear Victoria. “Nessa, what the hell have I missed, why didn’t you tell me?” I sarcastically say. “It was your wedding! You were a little busy!” Victoria huffs. “Never busy for this shit. So what’s going on?”

“Logan asked me out to dinner I’m so sure he said seven but he is still not here,” Victoria says exactly what I did. “Maybe you got the wrong time?” I start to fiddle with my napkin “That’s what I’m hoping for.” I hear Victoria and Dean whisper and then she comes back to my conversation. “Right well text me later let me know what happens.” I smile. “Ok love you, bye Victoria.” I sit and wait a while longer my phone bings with Logan’s number!

Hey, Logan, I think I got the wrong time are you nearly here? Nessa xoxo

Nothing comes back I’m still there and I’m starting to feel uncomfortable. By 8:30 I grab my bag pay for my wine and head out the door. My phone finally pings and I see his name.

“Vanessa I can’t see you again, I’m sorry” I can’t help it I break down in tears.


“If you don’t mind hurrying this along Carmen that would be great” Carmen places both her hands on my chest tilting her head towards mine. “You’re not breaking up with me, not now” I laugh at her “Yeah if you think so, think I have been very clear Carmen”

Carmen claims. “You can’t walk away from us!” I walk up to her face to face. “Yeah I can there is no us.” She stands away from me smiling as she rubs her belly.

“I mean us, Logan I’m pregnant!”

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