I almost had it- the smoke was rising the embers flicking, flashes of light. The power rose in me, the white flickers within the smoke starting to come to life. Swirling; painting a picture into-
Instead it all suddenly goes out in a sputter, the power flowing from me cut off as if a facet was turned.
I growled throwing the bowl across the room- then with a heavy sigh I shook my head getting up slowly to go and clean up the mess. No matter how many attempts this was the outcome every time; it would start to work and fizzle out as if I purposely had pulled back or lost concentration. Either my true love; my soulmate, the one I was fated to be with didn't exist on this plane- or he was some powerful eternal creature refusing to be found. Which was highly doubtful.
This happened sometimes- but sometimes your mate wasn't someone you wanted to find either. My cousin Tatiana found her true love; a blood sucking vampire who wanted nothing to do with her after a million failed attempts. She didn't even realize he was her fated until a day or two before the ceremony from what I understood. Though she hadn't messaged me back in months I assumed she was on a honey moon... but it bothered me she never wrote anymore.
I heard the coven to the east had ordered her to kill him- and now she had a kill on sight order on her head instead. Our covens to the west didn't agree since she didn't really have a choice in the end, the moment she laid eyes on him the cosmic force that pulls you together- what witch could kill their fated one? Very few. The problem though is now she was a beloved giving up her powers as a witch to feed the poor sap- so she was a walking target.
It just wasn't fair and I hoped my messages had gotten through for her to find safety with our coven. Losing your powers had to be hard but I guess they get eternity together though. As long as they survived.
Something you can't exactly guarantee as a witch is who you're fated to be with. We lived pretty long lives- but not to the extent of a vampire. Immortality was something no witch had ever achieved while still having their powers with the exception of my cousin. That immortality had come with a price though.
I didn't particularly enjoy the thought of loving a vampire, or letting them feed off me; the whole idea just make me queasy. Wolves would be worse. Fleas and hair not to mention the consistent wet dog smell. I enjoyed the outside to be sure but hearing bones crack and morph? Who's to say I'd even make that kind of transition? Though on the flip side you don't lose your powers as a witch from what I've heard. Unlike vampires.
No- in all likelihood my fated one was Fey or stuck in limbo or a different timeline. They might not even be born yet. Who knew. Or female I guess- but typically your sexuality was a factor as well as procreation. Not always though- sometimes you where paired with the same sex thinking you were straight.
Who cared. Or at least that's what I tended to mutter to myself when I started go down this path in my mind. This time though I couldn't stop it with those words in my mind.
I cared... I didn't want to admit it but seeing such happiness in my parents when my father was alive left me aching for someone. Someone that I may never meet. My father had been warm and kind hearted and after he died my mother was nothing but cold towards me.
I sighed looking at the ash stained carpet, this time I had tried to fuel so much power into it that the embers had spilled over onto the carpet from the bowl. Hopefully it didn't come off my card as damages- I could snap my fingers and fix it but it was a waste of magic considering I had already used more than I should have. In the days to come I had to reserve my strength to find two alphas in a pack their lunas- and two spells? That was much harder then one. They had also requested it be done at the same time to make it fair. So I had to save all my energy plus my reserves given to me by the coven to pull it off. Just doing the one spell I had done was unwise.
"Goddess guide me." I murmured looking up at the moon. Tomorrow was a new day- their beta was supposed to pick me up in the morning. Then I had two days to get familiar with the Alphas and find a sacred space on their land to perform the spell that resonated with both of them; assuming I could.
Then I was free to go home back to New Mexico.
The thought was hallow- my heart ached with a need I couldn't describe other than loneliness. Perhaps I would travel after this job. Maybe I could find purpose outside of duty that plagued me- a slave to my coven and it's every need.