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Around ten passed six, I stumbled into my apartment building, tired and aching all over. I haven’t had that much sex in a long time—damn it sure takes a lot out of you. I yawned in my sleeve as I got my keys out of my pocket, trying to open the door with my half closed eyes. And failing horribly. My neighbour from 5c, Mrs. Vance yanked the keys out of my hand. I was too exhausted to retaliate. “Damian Zachary Meyer! Why are you only now coming home at 6:15 in the morning!" She hissed, waking me from my quick snooze against my doorframe. I groaned. “Lynette must b—"

"Mrs. Vance, I love you and your food very much but mention that bitch's name one more time.....I'm going to throw you out a window." I interrupted her. No! I wouldn't really do it! Are you crazy Mrs. Vance is like a grandmother to me, I’d probably throw out that ugly mat at her front door. I started down at her pale, slightly wrinkled face. She's about fifty-five and fitter than most athlete I've come across. It pains me to say this but when I first moved here, she beat me in a 200 meter dash. She got a head start but still. An almost Olympic runner Damian Meyer got ate the dust of an old lady. That pitiful defeat still haunts my dreams. Boy, to this very day Dave still hasn't let me live that one down. She dressed in her favourite red sweatsuit and white Nikes, she ivory hair in a braid behind her head and her sleepy 5 month old Chihuahua, Frankie, tucked in her arms. Frankie himself is all dolled up in red and white.

She stared at me with those big, green eyes and frowned. “Now....Damian empty threats will never get you anywhere and you know you can't hurt a fly." She said, matter of a fact. Does she think I'm soft? I’m not—I stopped being soft last night. "You can be as angry as you want but you have no right to talk about a lady like that." She chided.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Vance." I said, sighed. She smiled and went on her tips toes to kiss my cheek. She's 5'8 and from the photos of her in her 20s, had Dave drooling.

She pulled away and cupped my right cheek. “That's alright, dear. So...who did she sleep with this time?" She asked, dryly. I sighed.

"Believe or not—front door Roger and Felix, my business partner." I answered, bitterly. “I'm sorry I ever doubted you." I said.

She chuckled as she turned to open the door. “A man as blindly in love as you were....I can't blame you for not seeing her true colours." She said, helping me inside. She took me into the living room and perked up immediately. She stuck out her breast and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Why are you—

"Good morning David." Mrs. Vance purred. Oh.

David looked up from his cereal and smiled. "Hey hot stuff—whoa Dame! What happened to you!" Dave exclaimed. He’s lounging on the couch, in my violet silk robe and white Crocs.

"This is what sex against a window, floor, sink and kitchen courter does to you. Especially when you ended up falling off that same courter."

"Mm. That sound amazing." He moaned.

"You didn't go home with any—"

"Of course I did. Psh...I'm offended that you even ask that. But she was so boring." He grumbled.

"Ahuh. Well, thank you for your help, Mrs. Vance." I said.

"Your welcome, dear." She said. I kissed her forehead as she waved goodbye to Dave. She left with an extra swing in her hips. Oh Lord.

As soon was the front door closed Dave took off my robe in 1.7 seconds flat and of course him wasn't wearing anything beneath. He hates clothes more than anything. It doesn't bother me anymore. When we first started kindergarten he use to was take off his clothes anywhere and I mean anywhere, I thought it was normal until we began the third grade, he’d strip as soon as we got to my house or his. We had a fight about it when I was fed up of seeing his Twinkie and we stopped talking for about two hours if not less. I stopped caring when we reached puberty which was when I realized he will never change. “One day, she’s going to get it. Mark my words, Dame.” He said, turning back to his cereal. Ah, I didn’t need that mental image in my head. I sat beside him, sighing. He glanced over at me. “What's up?"

"I don't know how you do this—sex with a different girl every night." I confessed, taking his bowl and eating some of his cereal.

"It's better than settling down and getting your heart ripped out of your heart is still broken—"

"Bullshit. You've never had a serious relationship....ever—"

"I could have if she just admits we belong together." He said, dramatically.

I shot him a questionable look. He stared into space and sighed. I thought long and hard. Sage. “You're still hang up on Sage Kelsey?!"

"Wrong twin bro. I'm hang up on Sagan." He corrected.

"That was you're own fault. You were the biggest man whore in high school!" I protested. “If anything she dodged a bullet back then."

"I was willing to change for her." He whispered. I stated at him, puzzled. He looked at me with sad eyes. I’ve never seen him this torn up’s freaking me out. Well, at least I finally have something to tease him about, it’s now the matter of finding perfect situation to use it.

"Hmph." I breathed, slumping back onto the couch. “Now what?" I said, changing the topic.

"What you mean?" He questioned.

"What happens now, do I throw Lynette's things out the window—"

"Hell fucking—YES!! We need to get all this shit out." He said. He got up and started to knock all of Lynette's crystal elephants off the fireplace mantle. Soon went the photos with Lynette. David grinned down at the broken pieces at his feet. “Are you going to let me do this by myself?"

I sighed and got up. “What do you want me to do?" I asked.

"First—take off your clothes—“


“It was worth a shot.” He said, laughing. “We are going to get rid of all things Lynette, which includes everything she brought you," he said snatching my glasses off my face, “starting with these." He dropped it at his feet.

"Hey! Those are prescription and I brought them!" I protested, snatching them before he tries to stomp on them. I put them back on.

"You got them while you were with Lynette so they’re garbage."

"At least wait until I get a new pair, I do need to see, dummy!” I exclaimed.

“Oh right.” He said, teasingly.

I rolled my eyes. “So...that's how you want to play? Ok. First person to trash this place wins." I said.

Dave grinned. “Game on!"

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