Prologue- Cat (18yrs old)
“What?” I gasp.
What the fuck has he just said?
The USA? A football camp? He’s leaving me?!?
"When?” I ask him
“In two weeks,” Craig says happily. “Baby, I gotta go—I can’t make anything of myself here, I’m always going to be known as Russ Berkeley’s Little Brother" he sighs in frustration. “I wanna make something of myself without being behind Russ’s shadow” he tells me softly grasping my face kissing me. “You understand don’t you?” He asks me. “I mean it’ll only be for a few years, and I can come back every at Christmas and through the summer. I know it’ll be hard baby but we’ll FaceTime and Text all the time. I just gotta do this Kitty Cat, otherwise I’ll always be in his shadow” he croons kissing me again. “Do you understand?” He asks me.
My breathing shudder’s in and out.
Yeah, I do—That’s why this is going to hurt like a bitch...
“I do Craig, I understand” I smile sadly as a tear comes down my face.
“Baby don’t cry, it’ll be okay” he promises. “I love you,” he tells me.
My heart leaps like it always does since the first time he told me he loved me. I smile brightly with tears cascading down my cheeks now. “I know, and I love you too, so much” I tell him and he smiles happily.
Taking a deep breath in, I continue. “So much that I’m letting you go” I tell him.
He frowns at me in confusion. “What do mean kitty cat?” He asks.
I shake my head in sadness. “I love you so much Craig, so fucking much—I understand how much this means to you, really I do—which is why I think it’ll be best to end us” I sob.
His eyes widen as panic takes over his beautiful face. “No, No, Kitty Cat—We can make it work" he tells me.
I shake my head. “I..I can’t Craig, it’ll be too hard for us.” I tell him pleading with him to understand. “I’m going to uni, you’re going to the USA...your on different time difference for one, no doubt you’d need all your energy for camp and I’ll need mine to concentrate on studying. Please try to understand, that am not doing this to hurt you, Craig. You are my heart, and your happiness means everything to me, if I tell you to choose, you’ll end up hating me and I don’t want that. So I’m doing it for you...Go to USA get out your brother’s shadow,be the amazingly talented man I already know you to be” I tell him and kiss him deeply saying my goodbye in the kiss “I love you Craig Berkeley, I always will...be happy” I croak and pull myself away from him and start running.
“Catherine baby please, don’t do this...I love you!! ” Craig shouts after me.
“If you love me, do this for me...Be Happy Craig, Goodbye” I shout back as tears fall down my face.
Craig grabs his hair and screams. ”Arrrrrggghh!!!” As he collapses to his knees.
I run away before the sight makes me run back to him...I leave him at our place which is a secluded flyover overlooking the M62 motorway. I have to be strong for the both of us, I run off heartbroken.
I reach my big sister Eva’s house and knock on the door.
please be in...please be in!
The door opens and Justin is standing there with a big grin when he realises it’s me and then his grin drops when he sees my tears. “Am gonna kick his fucking arse...where is he? Where is the little shit?” He growls getting his coat and shoes on quickly.
“No no!” I reassure him. “It’s not like that,” I tell him and then the tears start again. “I broke up with him” I sob.
“Oh, cat” he sighs sadly. “come here,” he says holding his arms open wide for a hug and I step into his embrace and sob my shattered heart out.
“Justin, who was at the door?” I hear Eva say coming out. “What’s going on? What’s wrong Cat?” She asks panicked and her face morphs into anger. “Am gonna kill him, am gonna kick his fucking arse...who the fuck does he think he is...” she shouts as she gets her shoes and coat on quickly muttering to herself how much pain she’s going to inflict on Craig and how amber’s gonna hold him down for her.
Justin chuckles as do I for the first time since I left Craig...
“Baby, it’s not like that...calm down” he croons. “She...” he goes to tell Eva before she cuts him off.
“Well, what is it then? He better not have gotten you pregnant, cos I’ll chop off his balls and feed them to him” she warns.
For fuck sake!!
"EVA!!! I broke up with him, okay!” I shout at her. ”I broke up with Craig!” I tell her and start crying again.
“Oh—well why didn’t you say so” she grimaces. “I was gonna go all Xena warrior on his arse
Then” she chuckles and I glare at her.
“We were trying to, you daft cow...if you would of let us get a word in,” I say in exasperation.
“Okay okay,” Eva says in surrender. “Are you okay?” She asks me warily. “How come you broke up with him?” She asks.
I take a deep breath in and out. “He got offered a place at a football camp in the USA” I tell them.
"Oh!”Justin says in understanding “he’s going is he?” He asks me
I nod with a sniffle “Yeah, he told me it was going to be a few year’s and that he’d come back during the summer hol’s and Christmas and that we’d always stay in touch” I tell them shaking my head
“You of all people know how hard he’s been working to get out from behind Russ’s shadow...he’s wants to be recognised for his own abilities, not for who he’s related to,” I tell Justin and he nods.
“I saw how happy he looked, I told him that I loved him so much..so much that I was letting him go,” I tell them wiping my nose.
“And what did he say?” Eva asks.
I look at her my sadness and heartbreak must be so clear in my eyes that her lip trembles. “He started to panic, told me we could make it work..that he loved me, I told him that it would be too hard with me going to uni and him in the US...the time difference was one thing,I told him I could never make him choose,I didn’t want him to hate me” I croak.
“He could never hate you,” Justin tells me.
“He would eventually, he’ll always have that what if in his brain. I couldn’t do that to him, in time he’ll understand” I tell them sadly.
“When does he leave?” Eva asks.
“In two weeks time,” I tell her.
“At least you’ll have this time together then,” she tells me with a sad smile.
What is she talking about?
“I’ve already broken up with him sis...I told him goodbye, I couldn’t do that...it’ll only hurt more” I tell her.
“Oh!” She says as we hear the kids crying.
Eva and Justin grimace, then smile brightly.
“How about Auntie Kit Kat come spend some time with us and the twins,” Eva asks.
I smile and nod as Eva puts her arm around my shoulder and walks me into the living room where my beautiful niece and nephew are. My broken heart leaps at the sight of them...
I’ll always love you, Craig...