I walked straight to Ian’s room. I need to talk to him and make sure he was okay. My heart felt so heavy.
I knock on the door.
It takes a few seconds and Ian opens the door.
The smell of alcohol wasn’t as strong as I anticipated. Ian was wearing his gray sweats and no shirt.
“Rhaya.” He was very surprised to see me. His brown hair was messy and he looked exhausted.
“Hey,” I gave him a little smile, “can I come in?”
“Yeah of course.” He opened the door wider and I walked in. He shut the door behind me.
His bed was unmade, he must have been laying down before I knocked.
My stomach clenched, I didn’t know quite what to say so I started with, “How are you?”
Ian sat down on the bed and scratched his head. “I’m fine.” He gently smiled, but I wasn’t convinced.
I stood a couple feet away from his bed. My arms were crossed over my chest. “Damien came to talk to me tonight.”
I saw worry stretch across his tired face, “What did he tell you?” He looked me straight in the eyes.
“He told me you guys went to the bar, you got plastered and vented to him.” I played with the hem of my silky robe.
He exhaled and looked at the ground. “Dammit, Damien.” He muttered under his breath.
I sat down next to him. Our legs were touching. “Did he say anything specific?” His green eyes met mine again.
“Yes,” I swallowed, “that you will be devastated when I break your heart.” I now looked at the ground. Tears started to form in my eyes. “And that… you’re in love with me.”
His warm hand cupped my cheek and pulled me back to his gaze. His face was full of sadness.
“I will be completely devastated,” he grabbed my hand and squeezed, “but I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew you could never be mine.”
The tears rolled over my bottom lid and began to trickle down my face. My heart hurt.
I don’t want to hurt Ian. And I don’t want to hurt Gareth.
Ian gently wiped my tears with his thumbs, “Don’t cry.”
“You don’t deserve to be heartbroken.” I whispered. My glossy eyes looked from our hands back to his caring eyes.
“I’m not heartbroken yet.” He lightly chuckled, trying to break the intense mood. “I know it will hurt like hell in the future, but right now I want to enjoy every minute I have left with you.”
His soft lips kissed mine. As his tongue rolled against mine, I could taste a hint of alcohol, but I didn’t care.
Ian slightly pulled back, “Rhaya, I love you.” My heart raced from his words.
“And tonight, I want you… I want all of you.”
I exhaled. I want him… I want all of him too.