Last night Ian and I broke a lot of the contract rules. The first one- he told me he loved me; second- we didn’t use a condom, and third- I slept with him in his bed for the remainder of the night.
I woke up lying on my stomach. When I opened my eyes, Ian was lying on his side watching me. His gorgeous smile made me smile.
My inner thighs were sticky. After we had sex we cuddled until we fell asleep. I slept with Ian’s cum inside me. I smiled at the thought. That’s hot.
“Good morning.” Ian spoke as he started to lightly tickle my back.
“Good morning.” I replied stretching my legs.
“Thank you for last night,” His green eyes seemed greener today, “it was incredible.”
I smiled, “Right back at you.”
We laid there staring at each other for a while until I broke the silence, “Ian… What happens when rules of a contract are broken?” I rolled over onto my side to face him.
His smile dimmed, “Are you regretting what happened?” A slight look of worry appeared on his face.
“No. Not at all. I’m just curious as to where we go from here?”
Ian exhaled, “I have to tell Gareth.” He rubbed his eyes.
My stomach dropped. I knew it was going to hurt Gareth, and that made my heart hurt.
“And what about Mr. Lockwood?”
Ian sat up. The sheets rolled off his chest and dropped to his lap.
His jaw muscles tightened, and grief washed over his face, “I’ll be put on probation, and an exchange will happen, and I won’t be your trainer anymore.”
I sat up quickly, “Wait what?” I felt sick.
Ian was staring at the sheets. He didn’t answer. His face was full of sadness.
“But what if we don’t say anything to Mr. Lockwood?” I had his sheets wrapped around my chest tightly.
“There’s always the chance of Gareth telling him.”
“He won’t. He won’t say anything.” I said without hesitation.
Ian didn’t say anything, he wouldn’t look at me.
“Did you know this would happen if we broke the contract? Did you know this would be the consequence?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know his answer.
He still didn’t look up at me and he said, “Yes. I did.”
Tears immediately stung my eyes, “What the fuck Ian? Why would you even let last night happen, if you knew it would result in you not being my trainer anymore?” A dry lump formed in my throat, and the tears began to stream down my face.
His eyes finally met mine again, “I’m so sorry Rhaya,” Ian put his hand on my knee that wasn’t covered by the sheets. “I knew if I continued to be your trainer, I would continue to fall more in love with you, and then when you would leave me… It would absolutely kill me.”
I could see he was fighting back the tears. But clearly I couldn’t fight against mine.
“So what, instead of continuing to abide by the contract, and get through a couple months, you decided you would get your raw piece of me, and then you would leave me, before I left you?” I started shaking. Anger and betrayal began to swell in my heart.
“Rhaya...” Ian was at a loss for words. He was rubbing my knee. I pulled away. I got out of his bed and grabbed my robe from the floor and quickly put it on.
Ian jumped off the bed and put his sweats on. He then ran over to me and wrapped his arms around me.
I kept my arms to my chest. I didn’t hug him back. I cried against his bare skin.
“I allowed last night to happen because I love you. I’m a selfish son of a bitch because I wanted to share that with you, and I didn’t think about how the consequences would hurt you. And for that I am so sorry.” He was now shaking.
I sobbed in his arms for a few minutes. “Everyone always leaves me, or hurts me.” I said finally catching my breath. I looked into Ian’s eyes.
“And you just did both.” Tears started to roll down his cheeks.
“Rhaya, fuck, I’m so sorry. I won’t tell Lockwood. I will continue to be your trainer and when the time comes let me be the one with a broken heart. I can’t bare it, knowing I hurt you.”
I wanted to forgive him. I wanted to start this day over. But I pushed away from him and headed towards the door.
As I grabbed the door knob I paused without turning to him and said, “Gareth’s not going to tell Lockwood. He told me by the end of my training, I would get the choice to be with him, or be with you.”
Then I opened the door and walked away from one of the men I love.