Lockwood Mansion

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Chapter 47

Ian

It’s been a couple days since I last saw Rhaya, and it’s been fucking torture. I miss her like crazy. I miss her smile. Fuck, I miss her laugh. I miss everything about her.

I know the past couple days would have been harder for me if Gareth didn’t agree, to not tell Mr. Lockwood about the contract rules being broken. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking… Thinking it would be easier to push her away now, instead of lose her later.

I’m such a dumbass. I’ve told myself that at least a hundred times since that day.

I’m grateful I get to finish the next couple months with her. And I’m also grateful she agreed to talk to me about it today.

I’m not sure how training is going to go today. Rhaya’s still mad and upset, hopefully it will go okay, because today’s training is about anal and anal orgasms. And I’m not quite sure if her and Gareth have even experimented with that yet.

I doubt it. I’m sure he’s still enjoying her tight little pussy, that he hasn’t even thought about it yet.

Waiting in the training room, I sit on the bed cracking my knuckles. Fuck, I’m nervous. I hope she will forgive me.

I decided it was necessary to wear a shirt today, since we would start off with a conversation.

I sit there for another twenty minutes and then Rhaya comes in and shuts the door behind her. She’s wearing a yellow tank top and some Levi shorts. Her hair is straightened over her shoulders.

She must have thought it’d be best to show up completely dressed as well.

Rhaya twirls her fingers around each other as she approaches me. She’s nervous too.

“Hi.” She says as she sits next to me.

“Hi,” I reply, “you look beautiful, as always.” I grab her hand, and her perfume invades my senses.

“Thank you.” She whispers as she looks to the ground.

I swirl my thumb on the back of her hand, “Thank you for agreeing to talk to me. I had a whole speech ready, but now you’re here, I don’t remember a fucking word of it.” I say nervously.

I see her lips twitch as if she was going to laugh, but she doesn’t. She finally looks up, “I don’t really know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” I swallow, “I know it’s going to take time for you to trust me again, but I want you to know, that I will do everything it takes to build that back up. I was selfish and inconsiderate, and you don’t deserve that. You deserve to always be put first, and you deserve someone that you trust wholeheartedly. And I’m god dammed determined to be that person for you, because I fucking love you.” I swallow again, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat.

She looks back down at the ground. I lightly pull her cheek so she looks me in the eyes, “I. Love. You.”

I can’t read her. So I slowly move in to see if she’s going to reject me. She doesn’t, and my lips press against hers; she lightly kisses me back, and then pulls away.

“I just need some time.” For a second it looked like tears were going to fall from her eyes, but she blinked them away. “I don’t want to talk about our feelings anymore, right now if that’s okay? Mine are just all over the place, and I’m not quite sure how to handle them.”

“Whatever you need. I nod and squeeze her hand. “Do you want to postpone training today?”

Her face quickly changes from sad to stern, “No. I would just like to get through it. For the next little while, I would just like to turn off all emotions, and make it nothing more than training. I need to clear up this confusion in my head. I would just like it to be as if we are complete strangers, fucking, with no emotional ties.”

It felt as if Rhaya just drove a stake through my heart.

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