I sat on the side of our bed while I watched Lucas pace the room. “What are you thinking about?” I asked him. After he told me what was going on. He hadn’t said too much to me since then. The doctor came in and told me what was going on. My blood pressure was low and that’s what caused me to faint. I need to find a regular OBGYN. I could have some issues with my blood pressure during this pregnancy.
“I’m just, I don’t know how I feel about this Scar. If it was our baby I would be thrilled, but It’s not and it belongs to Darren Marsh of all people. He is going to want this baby.”
“Lucas, I don’t even know if I want this baby. I only slept with him. We weren’t together.” I said. I was so confused. I didn’t know what to do, but I was pregnant. That much I knew was true.
“You have to tell him Scar,” Lucas said. Shit, I didn’t even think about that. I said to myself. My god, how is he even going to feel about this? Then I got scared. What if he is mad and wants to take the baby away from me. He is the mafia, I’m sure he could get away with it. All of a sudden I was tired. I didn’t want to think about it anymore.
“Do you want me to leave?” I asked Lucas. He turned and looked at me.
“Leave? Why would I want you to leave?”
“Really Lucas? I’m pregnant with someone else’s child. Why wouldn’t you want me to leave?”
“What I want for you to know is that I love you Scarlet, but I just need some time to think. That’s all that I’m asking.” He said. I knew this was killing him and It was breaking my heart. I nodded my head at him and crawled onto the bed and laid down. I heard him leave the room and I felt the tears fall out my eyes. I didn’t mean for this to happen and Darren and I wore a condom, but I guess this was just my luck. I was worried about how Lucas felt. I was also worried about how Darren was going to feel. What I wasn’t too concerned about was how I was feeling. I had a baby growing inside of me. At that moment all I wanted was my mother. I gave her a call and asked her if she could come by and see me in the morning. She agreed and I told her I would make us breakfast. This was going to be a hell of a talk, but I needed to talk about it and I wanted her opinion.
Lucas never came to bed. When I woke up I was alone. I wasn’t even sure if he was home. I was pretty sure he took off last night, but I knew I needed to give him some time alone. I got up and went downstairs. I didn’t even bother getting dressed for the day. I didn’t care. The hospital gave me the next week off and I wasn’t planning on going anywhere anytime soon. I started to make breakfast when I heard my mother come walking in the front door. “Scarlet, baby!” She hollered out.
“I’m in the kitchen mom!” I hollered back. She came walking in with muffins and orange juice.
“I stopped off and got you blueberry muffins, you're favorite.” She said as she set them on the counter. I loved blueberry muffins and for some reason it made me start to cry.
“Scarlet, what’s the matter?” My mother said as she pulled me into her arms.
“I’m pregnant mama, and Lucas is not the father.” I just blurted out. My mother took a step back and looked at me.
“Oh god.” We took a seat and I explained everything to her. She listened and didn’t say a word until I was done.
“How does Lucas feel?” She asked me.
“I don’t know, He asked me for time and he left last night. I don’t know where he is and I don’t think he came home. I asked him last night if he wanted me to leave. He told me no.” My mother took a deep breath.
“I think It’s a good idea If maybe you come to stay with me for a couple of nights. Just to give Lucas some time to himself. You also need to decide what it is that you want to do. My advice is, Don’t say anything to Darren until you know what it is that you want to do. If you're not going to keep the baby. Then why upset the man.” She said. I agreed with her, but in the back of my head, I already knew what I wanted to do about the baby. I just wasn’t ready to say anything yet. After breakfast, Lucas still hadn’t returned. I went upstairs and packed a couple of things. In the car with my mother, I sent Lucas a text. Just letting him know I loved him and that I was going to stay with my mother and give him some space. I didn’t hear anything back from him so I just sat my phone in my bag and laid back in the car.
I spent the day with my mother helping her repot plants. She had a ton of them all around her house. Her new home was very nice and cozy. Something I would have picked for myself. I like the main house, but it’s just so big and old. I felt relaxed here and I was glad I decided to come and stay a couple of nights. My mother was making dinner when we heard a knock on the front door. “I’ll get it,” I said and left the kitchen. I opened the door to Lucas standing there. “Hi."
“You didn’t have to leave Scar.” He said. I took a step outside the door and closed it behind me. I walked over and sat down on the front porch swing.
“Come sit next to me,” I said to him. He did as I asked and took a seat next to me. “I want you to know something. I refuse to blame myself for this and I refuse to let anyone else blame me. What I did with Darren wasn’t wrong for me to do. I hadn’t been with you or anyone else in five years. It was a heat of the moment thing that I don’t regret. I didn’t even have a real chance to get to know Darren. I’m not in love with him. I’m in love with you. I now know I want my baby and you either have to take us both or let me go now. I will understand if you don’t want this, but I do and Darren, if he wants to. Will get to be in this baby’s life.” I said and took a deep breath. “I’m going to give you time to process this. I want to stay with my mother tonight. I love you Lucas and I’m sorry this has happened. You have every right to feel however you want to feel.” I kissed his cheek and walked back inside the house. I took a long deep breath and headed back into the kitchen. My mother was just standing there looking at me.
“Was it Lucas?” She asked me. I nodded at her. “What did you say?”
“I told him how I felt and told him I loved him,” I said.
“How do you feel?”
“I want my baby,” I said. She smiled at me.
“I never doubted that.”
“Thanks for letting me know,” I said.
“Scarlet, you have always been a sweet, loving, and nurturing type of person. I knew what was going to happen the minute you said you were pregnant.” She said. “So what did Lucas say?”
“I didn’t really give him a chance to say anything,” I said. “I told him how I felt and came back into the house.”
“Well alright then.” She said as she dished us up our dinner. After we ate. I was cleaning up the dishes. My mother came back into the kitchen.
“Scarlet, Lucas is still on the front porch.”
“What? He is?” I said and set the dish towel down. I walked back outside and sure enough, he was still sitting there. “Lucas, what are you doing?” I asked him.
“I’m waiting for you.”
“But I told you I was going to stay with my mother tonight."
“That’s fine, but I lost you once and I’m not going to lose you again. If you want this baby. Then so do I.”
“Are you sure?” I asked him. He just looked at me and then he grabbed me and pulled me into his lap.
“Yes, I’m sure. You are my world. Shit happens, we will do this together.” He said. I smiled at him and our lips met. He kissed me deeply and then he pulled back some. “You have to talk to Darren. I think we need to fly out to him as soon as possible.” I felt the fear rise inside of me, but I knew he was right. I guess we would be heading back to North Carolina soon.