Sitting at the sports bar down the road from the studio, Ryder sat across from me on the pub seats as we were finished some greasy food and watched a ball game on the widescreen television above the bar. I had been ignoring him lately, not one to be seen at house parties anymore, and spent most of my free time with Chelsea. Ryder and I saw each other enough at the studio, but I missed hanging out with him like we used to do before fame and fortune knocked at our door. Since Chelsea didn’t know when her latest job would be done for the day, I jumped at a chance to grab a bite to eat with him and shoot the shit like old times.
We had a fan come up for a picture and an autograph. She had been a natural redhead, a favorite of mine, or should I say past favorite. She wasn’t what I termed a four-leaf clover; red hair and blue eyes, but still good-looking.
This time, I didn’t even take a second look as my mind drifted towards thoughts of Chelsea yet again. She said today’s photoshoot was for a department store but didn’t know what type of clothing they wanted her to model. I wished she would stay away from bikinis and lingerie. It drove me nuts thinking she had to strut around half-naked in front of all the men on set. It only went to confirm her stance lately that my jealousy was getting out of control.
“You really are in love. That redhead shoved her tits right at you, and you didn’t even notice,” he laughed at me. I had changed and I didn’t care how many times he called me pussy whipped. He still thought of me as the horny teenager in high school getting my bean snapped and finding out it was better than a hot fudge sundae. Sex was amazing and I wanted all I could get. That didn’t seem to be a problem before with all kinds of women to sample, but it stunned me how much I changed.
I used women. I used them to satisfy my own needs, especially after Cami left and now I regretted it. Not that I didn’t feel a need to sow my wild oats, but the manner I used them wasn’t right and it bothered me thinking Chelsea would find out about all the shit I pulled in my past. Just the little she knew made her think what we had been just as meaningless and almost caused us to break up. Surprisingly, she didn’t hold it against me. Just another way she was such a remarkable person, and once again, I didn’t seem worthy of her love.
Learning from my mistakes was never my strong suit either and toning things down would be good for me. Even Ryder had talked about the band being more responsible for our actions. Looking at our future even he realized our star would burn out before we even got started if we didn’t. If we were going to be touring for the next fifty years, we needed to change our ways. Mine included settling down with Chelsea.
“I think she is the one Ryder. I mean I don’t want to go the route of marriage and all just yet, but there isn’t anyone else for me.”
“You fucking loser. You waited your whole life to screw your way across North America, and you stopped at Wisconsin?”
Laughing again at my expense, I tried to scowl, but it turned into a laugh. “Yeah, Wisconsin. Who would’ve figured?”
“You know, I am just giving you shit. I am happy for you. It is funny though. You go from strippers and porn stars to Mother Teresa. I don’t think I’ve even heard her swear. But it’s always the quiet ones who are the banshees in bed.”
I laughed but didn’t at all acknowledge him not wanting to talk about our sex life. Chelsea wouldn’t approve, and although I never minded before, I wanted to keep it our little secret. My silence was my answer, “You dog!”
Coming home from the bar, the house was quiet. Her car in the garage led me to believe she was home just not active downstairs at least. Reflecting on her and the amazing sex we have had lately, I thought she might be waiting for me in our bed. We did our ‘play’ as she called it over a week ago and I suddenly got the itch to ravish her again. I told her I would let her decide how often, but she didn’t have an orgasm last night during our vanilla sex and I knew how it turned her on to get tied up. She wanted to ease into it slowly, but did it have to be this slow?
It would have been easier for me if she hadn’t been so damn responsive. I found myself getting hard just thinking about how she writhed around on the bed, letting loose and crying out her pleasure. It made me think of all the other things I could do to her tied up, but I had to ‘take it slow Brandt.’ She was coming out of her shell, and I didn’t want to screw it up.
‘Play.’ I still laughed at that. She couldn’t even call it bondage. What was I saying? She couldn’t say the word cock or orgasm without blushing. Ryder was right, how did I get mixed up with such a good girl?
Climbing the steps to our second story, I stopped and looked into our bedroom. Chelsea sprawled out on the bed sleeping. I knew it would tire her when she left before sun up this morning. She wanted to sleep in the spare bedroom to not wake me, but I insisted she stayed beside me in our bed. I didn’t sleep well without her anymore. No, she would be right next to me always.
Chelsea looked so lovely, wearing a white shirt, she appeared angelic with her pale skin and gold hair strung out around her. I thought about letting her sleep, but then I didn’t know when she went to bed. She didn’t like to nap, stating it made it harder for her to fall asleep later when the time came. She may have to work tomorrow and being up that early might not make it easy for the shoot.
I tried to wake her up. She half-opened her eyes and looked at me groggily before they widened with alarm, “What time is it?”
I spoke in a calming voice, “It is closing in on eight.”
"Shit, Brandt, I wasn’t supposed to sleep that long. I should get up and make you something to eat.”
She was always concerned about me. With never having someone to take care of me before, I could honestly say I loved it. I liked knowing someone waited for me here, someone as crazy about me as I was for her. The cooking and cleaning she did showed me she wanted to take care of me, and it made me afraid of leaving on tour and not having her with me.
“I got something to eat with Ryder before I came home. I didn’t think you would be home early.”
“Oh, it went better than I thought. I won’t need to go back tomorrow.”
Good, I could have her as long as I wanted. I climbed into bed with her, “Then I have you all to myself for tonight?”
She laughed, her voice soft after waking, “Yes. I am yours to do with as you please.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
She rolled over and kissed me. “I enjoy tempting you. And how would you like to be tempted tonight?”
The way I had been dreaming about all day of course, “How about I get the scarves?”
Chelsea hesitated. I told her I would let her start this and I thought maybe I shouldn’t have asked, “If you don’t want to, then we don’t need to. It’s just been a while.”
She laughed, “A week isn’t necessarily considered a while Brandt.”
“I know. I can wait. It’s just... I thought about you tied up all day and love to watch you lose control.”
Even in the dim light, I saw her blush. “You need to stop being embarrassed over this. People do this all the time.”
“Well, I didn’t think we were the first.”
She leaned on my chest looking up at me, “Chelsea there are whole communities out there for bondage. For every different type.”
“There are different types?”
Slow down, Brandt. “Yes, there is a difference. Bondage, S&M, public and private domination--”
She didn’t let me finish, “Stop. I really didn’t want to know. Let me first get used to what we do.” I would let her take all the time she needed as long as we could try it again. I stroked her back waiting for her to think about this. She overthought everything, but if I was patient, it usually paid off.
“Brandt, I do lose control. You make me lose control and I, well, last time I almost...” She didn’t want to finish, and I waited, “Well... talked.”
Talked? Now, what the hell does she mean? The way her mind thinks sometimes gave me a brain cramp. Talked to other people? “Talked?” Still not knowing how to draw it out of her, I continued, “Chelsea, what are you saying? We talk about sex all the time.”
“Not talking about sex but making sounds during sex. I can’t stop making, you know, sounds.”
What? “Sex sounds? Like moaning or screaming?”
“Yes, like that!”
Seriously? I had always noticed her biting her lips and clamping her mouth shut, but it was so she wouldn’t say anything? I had been fighting to get her to utter anything during sex, and she purposely wouldn’t anyway?
"AHHH...” I took a deep breath and sat up. I needed to make her understand it was okay to do this, and without yelling at her. When I yelled, it made her feel more self-conscious.
“Chelsea, moaning and acting out is what you are supposed to do. At least when it is good. You know, say stuff. Whatever stuff you want to. Nothing is off-limits. I’ve been trying to get you to ‘talk’ since the first night together. Are you telling me you keep quiet on purpose?”
“Brandt, I would sound so dumb.”
My hands went up in an exasperated gesture. I had to remember she had some experience before me, and that asshole probably told her something to make her feel bad about this. “No. I am sure that would turn me on. Chelsea, if you are talking to me or making sounds, it gives me a clue you like what I am doing. It sure would’ve helped me in the beginning. Why the hell would you think you would sound stupid?” If it was about that asshole ex-boyfriend again, I would lose it. She didn’t bring him up anymore, but I kept thinking this jerk caused her to be so insecure she still couldn’t open up to me sometimes.
“I keep imagining sounding like those girls do on those porn movies. You know, where they are screaming and moaning.”
Well, at least this wasn’t about Dan. I shook my head and hid a chuckle, surprised she even saw a porno at all. “That’s what guys like. It’s why they make those noises in porn movies. Because guys will watch them and get off.” She stopped to think, and it always made me wonder what would come out of her mouth next.
“Well, I guess it makes sense. Guys are the ones to watch porn.”
“No Chelsea, a lot of women watch porn, but they have it broken down into guy stuff and girl stuff as well as fetishes for both.”
It surprised her, “They have girl porn?”
Okay, she hadn’t seen it all, but for that fact, I hadn’t either. I smirked at her, “There is a difference, but yes. We could get some and watch.” The look she gave me shot me down, “Or maybe not.”
“So, the first time we ah, ‘played’ and I accidentally screamed you liked that? You didn’t think it sounded stupid?”
Accidentally screamed? “Chelsea, I swear I almost blew my wad from that scream alone. I mean you lost control. You really lost control. Why do you think I can’t have it the other way? I am a control freak, and you like that drives me nuts.” I loved the smile she had on her face. She knew what it did to me to control her and thought maybe she would let loose more.
“What do you want me to talk about? I can’t even mention the word... orgasm.” We both laughed a little. It was so true. There were so many new words she had brought to the bedroom because she felt uncomfortable, ′Fifi′, and ‘play’ being two. I wondered what it would sound like having her say cock or cunt, but then I thought it wouldn’t be her and would sound forced. No, she had her quirks, and even though I didn’t understand them, I loved her despite them.
“Whatever comes to your mind. Don’t think about it. If you plan it out ahead, it will sound fake.” I paused letting it sink in before going further, “Start with what you like to do to me.” She contemplated it, but I told her not to think, so I told her, “Don’t think so much, remember?”
Chelsea nodded, “I love it when I lick the vein all the way up on your, ah, member.”
Okay, that was what she would say, and I couldn’t help but smile. “Well, that’s a good start.” I tried to mimic a slow, innate talk, and asked, “Now repeat it again slower and a little deeper.” I leaned over to kiss her neck, trying to remove the pressure of me staring at her, and also to get her into the mood. She talked right into my ear as I found her sweet spot.
“Brandt, I really like to lick your vein underneath your member. It tastes so good in my mouth.”
That did it. I groaned and took her hand, bringing it to the crotch of my jeans, “Yep, that works.”
She laughed. I couldn’t say for sure if I was so aroused by being next to her in a playful mood or her starting to talk more in bed, but my rock hard cock became uncomfortable in my pants. “Brandt, I want you to ‘play’ with me.” Another groan. Jumping up and heading to the dresser drawer where we kept the scarves, I could only hope to get her to lose control once again.
The first time being restrained was mind-blowing, but it scared me. I lost all sense of control when tied up, but I had the most incredible orgasm. It bothered me as I thought I did something wrong. Maybe being wrong for enjoying it but I realized since we both found pleasure in it, it was just another form of sex.
The hard part was letting myself lose control. I loved it when Brandt took command of me and made me do or say things that shut down my mind. I needed time to relax and get used to ‘play’ though, surprised he even suggested it as he was usually so good about giving me the time I needed.
A little self-conscious about what I would say while I let loose, I tried to concentrate on being truthful not to sound weird or stupid. I couldn’t force it. Brandt had always told me positions he liked or what he liked to do to my body and it never sounded stupid as much as it aroused me. Why didn’t I ever think about returning the favor? Well, if he would make me lose control tonight, I would not hold back.
“Chelsea, take off your clothes.” Yes, that was sex talk, and I loved it. He had such a different voice when he talked to me during sex. The words were almost enough to wind me up. He watched me take my clothes off just as I watched him. It was so erotic, and I thought back to a time when this would have freaked me out. Sex talk would probably become second nature in a while then too.
I left my underwear on, teasing him, as I loved to watch him take it off me. He stood before me completely naked, and his penis was hard and erect. He loved the ‘play’ just as much as I did. I watched as he tied my hands to the spindles on the bed. Giving me the ends, he made sure I could untie myself if I needed to, knowing I wouldn’t anyway without his permission. Once secured to the bed, he brought his hands to my bikini underwear and tugged hard, ripping them from me. “Brandt,” I said, scolding.
He laughed, “I told you to take it all off.” I smirked as I should have known better.
Brandt put the last scarf around my eyes, essentially blinding me. The room was already dark, and the opaque scarf blocked out all the rest of the light. He leaned in by my ear and said in that deep throaty voice he used during sex, “I need to get more scarves so I can tie down your legs next time.”
I sucked in my breath. Would he? I’d never thought of it. Me, spread eagle on the bed, not being able to move anything at all. It surprised me to find myself almost excited about the idea and a smile sheepishly spread across my face.
“I wish I had them now.” And then I felt him run his fingertip along my face, down my chest and abdomen to my sex. He inserted his finger slowly, and I spread my legs, welcoming it, and having It slide in easily. “You are so responsive Chelsea. You are wet and aroused, and all I did was tie you up.” I couldn’t deny it. With my hands tied and the blindfold on, my thoughts ran wild. Where would he touch me next? What body part would he suck on? How would he get me to orgasm? It turned me on more than I thought it ever would.
“Tell me what you want me to do to you, Chelsea.” He wanted the sex talk. What did I want? Don’t think about it. just tell him the first thing that comes to your mind.
“I want you to suck on my nipples.” He climbed on the bed on top of me and appeased me. First the right and then the left. Just the way I liked it. Biting and tugging gently with his teeth. My breathing rose faster. “I want you in me,” my next request came easier.
“Not yet Chelsea. You need more.”
“But I am already wet?” I whined. I thought I was supposed to tell him what I wanted?
“Too soon. I have more I want to do with you. Just because you want something doesn’t mean I will deliver. You are mine right now Chelsea. And I am going to enjoy you first.” His voice deepened and yes, hell yes, what he said turned me on and a moan escaped my lips. It felt good.
Brandt went back to my breasts and worked his way up to my neck to the sweet spot I loved so much, the one that went straight down to start the ache deep inside of me. “Oh Brandt.” It came out easier again. It felt right, and I felt him increase in his intensity. He liked it when I talked; I liked it too. The quickened breathing went to panting as he kissed my collarbone and worked my clitoris at the same time. I mew a little cry and raised my hips against him. Yes, I would lose control yet again. I smiled and gave in.
“You’ve been a good girl. You’ve turned me on, and I will give you what you want now.”
I felt him climb on top of me and felt him hard against my entrance, but he didn’t move, and I could barely stand it, “Oh please.” I didn’t care if I had to beg as I needed him inside me.
He took pity on me, and his purge inside me slowed. So fucking slow that I could feel every inch of him as he took his time and when he finally pushed inside me all the way, I bucked up against him and succumbed to his torture. He left just as slow, and another agonizing cry left my lips. My panting got worse, and I took the time to swallow and waited for him again. He perched by my opening once more, and I waited patiently. This time, when he entered me, it was a little faster, and I raised my hips to meet him until I felt the shaking in my wanting muscles, so close to climax, and he used it against me to torture me some more.
“Brandt. Oh God. Please, Brandt. Faster.” He sped up slightly, and I writhed underneath him. My breathing came in quick gasps, and I felt the heat rising. His plunging inside me quickened matching his breath. Our bodies both felt sweaty when we met, and I could smell our sex scent all around me. This time, the smell was arousing.
Plunging deep inside again, I felt every slick inch of his rod, and I swelled around him. My stomach muscled were quivering, and I felt so close to the end. I was right on the edge, and when he pulled hard on my nipple, I lost it. I wrapped my legs around him and drew him down hard to me, arching my back and letting out a long, loud cry of relief. He waited for me to still and then plunged inside me, increasing in rhythm. He didn’t last long either. I could tell he enjoyed our ‘play’ session and reveled in the fact I had a hand in it even though he rendered me helpless. I couldn’t think of a better way to introduce me to sex talk.
Brandt’s stiff cock suddenly spasmed deep inside me, sending small aftershocks to my sex. Once done, he rolled off me and lifted my blindfold. It took me a while for my eyes to adjust, but there he was, looking down at me with a sly smile on his face. He knew he got me good and I didn’t care. As long as you keep doing that, I will talk all you want.
“Are you okay? I mean with what you said? You didn’t feel stupid, did you? You sure sounded wonderful to me.”
I smiled at him and shook my head, “I am no porn star, but I think I can handle it.” He laughed and went to untie me even though all I needed to do was let go of the ends of the scarf.
My arms ached, but it was a nice ache just knowing it came from an explosive release. I never realized how much I pulled on them until after we were done. He lifted me onto him and rubbed my arms, soothing them and it got me thinking.
“How is bondage different from S&M?” I didn’t even know the difference between sadism and masochism. Were they the same thing?
“Bondage would most likely be what vanilla sex is. Not the heavy stuff of S&M but it is usually determined by the people doing it. It all depends on what you like. Whips, chains, leather, a--”
“Stop. I shouldn’t have asked.”
He chuckled, “Chelsea remember this is our ‘pizza.’ We put on it whatever toppings we want. If you are comfortable with cheese and the occasional pepperoni then that is what we will have.” It made me think about what he wanted on the pizza. If this were real life, we would probably go to a half-and-half type pizza if he picked something I didn’t like. Maybe the pizza analogy doesn’t go with ‘play.’
“What if you like anchovies and I could never eat them?”
He was still absently rubbing my arm like he always did. I loved talking to him like this, “Then we will never get anchovies again. How can I sit and enjoy my pizza knowing you’re miserable?”
Brandt always made me think it was all about me. I felt a little guilty. “So how do you see us progressing with this? What do you want to do?”
He took the time to think about his answer, probably not to frighten me. “I don’t know. I want to take it step-by-step and will talk to you about it ahead of time. Like tying your legs down. I think about how I want to pleasure you and I’ll ask you if it’s something you want to try. You seemed okay with it when I said something earlier.” I smiled and then blushed. He laughed, “Chelsea, it’s nothing to be ashamed about. You’re curious, that is all.”
“But what if we’re doing something and I realize it isn’t something I want? Should we come up with a word or something?”
“People use safe words all the time in S&M, but I don’t think they’re necessary. Chelsea, if you say ‘no’ or ‘stop,’ then I will. We don’t need code words.”
Relieved at the answer, I continued, “I would like that Brandt. I don’t know what I’ll want to try, but as long as I can stop it at any time, I trust you to listen. It may take a little while as I need time to digest this all.” I turned over to look at him and smiled, “Besides if you give me the time, I might be interested in finding out what the ‘girl’ porn is all about.” He looked at me and groaned. Silently laughing, I thought I could get into this sex talk.