29. Questions and fears
"Has he called?" Jax asked sitting next to me on the couch. I've been checking my phone obsessively for the last few days with no word from Zander. Not even a text.
"No" I respond honestly. "I'm starting to worry, Jax. I've called and texted and he hasn't answered."
He pulls me to him in a tight hug brushing my hair back through his fingers. "He'll be ok, princess." His lips met my forehead in a gentle, warm kiss. "Jayda is a manipulative narcissist, but she's not dangerous." He tries to sooth me, but the thought runs through my head... what if she is dangerous? They may know her better than I do, but I didn't get a good feeling from her.
Lost in my thoughts, I almost missed my phone ringing.
I rush to answer almost dropping it in the process. "Hello? Zander, is that you? Are you ok?" I trip over my words. Panic clear in my voice.
He chuckles. "Of course it's me. Who else would it be?"
"Why haven't you called or responded to my texts?" I'm immediately angry. How can he call after days of no contact and act like everything is perfect?
There's silence on the line for a few minutes.
He cleared his throat before responding "is Jaxon with you, baby?" He asked hesitantly.
I look over seeing Jax staring at me in question. "Yes, he's right here."
"Good. Could you do me a favor and give him the phone and I'll explain everything to you after?" The tone of his voice causes me to pause.
"What's going on, Zan?" My heart rate picks up and it feels like there's a lump in my throat I can't swallow down.
His voice was soft and firm. It's the way he delivers bad news. And I hate it. "Baby, give Jax the phone, please."
This is it.
He's going to say he's done with me and he's going to be with Jayda and their child. I can't take it. I hand my phone to Jax and walk out of the room.
I need to be alone. I don't need him to tell me. I already feel it.
My heart feels like it's being ripped from my chest.
I go to the bedroom finding clothes for the night and prepare for a shower. I can't deal with this. I'm breaking.
A knock at the bedroom door drags my attention back to the present.
"Princess, He wants to talk to you now. Can I come in?" I'm impressed by the way Jax has come so far when it comes to reading me. Knowing when I need my space and when I'm ready to talk. I swallow the lump in my throat before I respond. "Do I want to hear what he has to say?" I can't hide the tone in my voice despite trying.
Jax opens the door and walks in with my phone to his ear. "Give me a sec." he breathes out on the line before putting my phone down on the dresser and walks over to me pulling me into his arms and covering my face in kisses. "It's not what you're thinking. Give him time to explain everything."
His thumbs come up to brush tears away I wasn't aware were falling freely from my eyes. With a nod of my head he kissed my lips softly and stood to retrieve my phone.
His arms wrap around my hips when I bring the phone back to my ear.
"Yes?" I try to pull myself together.
"Babygirl, are you ok?" His gruff voice meets my ear and the flood gates open again.
"No. I'm not ok. I miss you. I don't want to lose you. I haven't heard from you since you left. When are you coming back? Are you even coming back?" The questions just tumble from my lips of their own will.
I never meant for her to feel so hurt. I was following Jayda's directions to ensure the future of my company and to meet my son, but knowing what I know now... it wasn't worth it. I should have listened and been more cautious like Jax had suggested.
Hearing how broken Lennix sounds cuts me to the core.
"I'm sorry, baby. I'm really sorry. I miss you too. So much. I don't know when I'll be back. Another few days maybe." I regret it before I say it, but I have to. "Jayda has information I need and I have to think of the best way to move forward with everything."
I hear her sniffle into the phone "I love you, Zander." Then her voice is replaced by Jax again.
He clears his throat. "She's not doing well, man. She acts like it doesn't bother her, but you can see it in her eyes. You need to get the name from Jayda and get a rush on that DNA test so you can get home."
I nod knowing he can't see me. "I know. A couple more days at most. Take Lennix out on a date or something. Keep her busy. I'll see if I can get the name tomorrow."
I've asked Jayda every day since she told me she knew about the person taking money from the company, but she has outright refused stating she will tell me when it's time. All the while she has tried to come on to me even going so far as to slip into my shower while I was washing. If Lennix knew how forward Jayda has been she would lose it and probably put Jayda's ass into a coma.
I need to get this information and go home to my girl. She's hurting and needs me. And I need her just as bad. Being away from her feels like I'm missing all the best parts of me. She is the best parts of me.
"I'll see y'all soon, man." I hang up gazing out into the darkness surrounding the small cottage we have been staying in.
I need to find a way to get Jayda to talk.