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The fact that she is so concerned for Mitch and mine’s friendship is fucking astounding. There has not been one woman in either of our pasts who has not been threatened by our friendship or tried to get in the middle of it. Fucking ludicrous, and pointless as every single one of them would come to learn. I have never put a woman in front of my friendship with Mitch. Ever. The fact that we’re having this discussion at all, is terrifying to both of us. One of us, possibly both – is really going to fucking hate his life at the end of this.

“I mean it. I am not going to be the reason you two stop being friends. If this goes sideways at any point – I’m out. We all walk away. And no fucking comparing notes about your dates with me – if I find out you did that?” She makes the motion of a knife across her throat. This is going to be so much fun.

Mitch and I both agree, then she invites us inside. Before we enter, she turns to us and holds her hand up as if in warning. Based on the exasperated sigh, I’m going to guess this conversation is about the Faulty Foursome inside.

“I’m about to introduce you to my brother and his best friends. They’re also like my extended family. They are insanely over-protective of me, so don’t be surprised if any one of them shows up in a disguise as a waiter on one of our dates. You’ve been forewarned.” Mitch starts to laugh, thinking she’s making a joke. Shit. Based on her facial expression I’m guessing the fuckers have done it to her before. First one of them that shows up on our date, goes home with my fist imprint in his face.

She leads us in, and as they notice us with her, they quickly scramble to their feet and race to her side. Jenna disappears completely behind a wall of assholes, and she really isn’t happy about it. The more annoyed she gets with them, the more my dick twitches. I need to get this under control.

“Oh. My. God. I’ve been home two minutes and you’re already making me nuts! Either get out of my way or go the hell home!” She tries to step around them, and they would move as one to block her. “Goddamnit Jeff!” Now I’m just fucking mad. At what point does this become abuse?

As I make my way to stand in front of them – Mitch doesn’t stop me. That is the first time ever which tells me he’s just as pissed. Four on two aren’t good numbers, but my anger will more than make up for it. She’s a grown woman, and they’re not listening to her. That pisses me off.

The knocking at the door scares the shit out of everyone, and we all jump. One of the idiots tries to block her again for whatever reason, but yelps and quickly moves out of her way. He’s rubbing his side, so I’m guessing she either punched him or pinched him. Good for her. If words don’t work, there comes a time when…

“You guys are fucking assholes. I’m sorry Trey, Mitch. I’ll be right back.” Her place is small, so we all have no difficulty overhearing her at the door.

“Oh, hi Hazel! What beautiful flowers! Do you have a secret admirer?” Who the fuck is Hazel? Must be a neighbour based on the sound of the voice, elderly lady.

“Oh no dear. Not me – you! These are your flowers. Those boys of yours refused the delivery, so I hung on to them for you. I knew you would want them.” Holy shit. The Gruesome Foursome don’t look so fucking cocky now. They look like four men on death row. I’m guessing they are, based on how Jenna is stamping her feet down the hall.

“Who refused the delivery?” All four are looking at their feet. Mitch is fucking giggling. Grown men don’t giggle. Firemen don’t giggle. Mitch is fucking giggling. “I asked a simple question – one of you knows the answer.” Her voice is dead calm, but her eyes are not the same blue. If it were possible for fire to shoot out of them, these four idiots would be ash. Jenna takes a deep breath, trying to keep calm. “Last time. Who refused my delivery?”

“Me,” one of them finally fesses up. “I didn’t recognize the name on the card, so I figured it was delivered to the wrong address.” Oh buddy – so not the right thing to say. Even I know that. I look back at Jenna to confirm my suspicions and I’m right – going ape shit is an understatement.

“You read the card? You read my fucking personal card on my fucking personal flowers that were delivered to my fucking personal address? Are you fucking kidding me!?” Wow. I don’t think she’s mad. I think she’s beyond pissed off. God she’s hot when she’s angry – I also know I never want to be on the receiving end of it.

“Yes I did! I needed to make sure it wasn’t anything inappropriate! Turns out I was right! Who the fuck is Tyler? Huh?” Tyler? Good question. Who the fuck is Tyler? He grabs the card out of the arrangement and starts reading it out loud. “Still dreaming of my hands on your body. Tyler.” Now the other three are freaking out too, arms flailing and talking over top one another. Still dreaming of my hands on your body, Tyler?

I need to fucking hit something.

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