MY HEROES

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I HAVE TO GO

MITCHELL, I HAVE TO GO

Jenna! Oh my God! I love you! I want that too! Jenna round with pregnancy will be so amazing to witness. I want as many babies as she’s willing to carry! Hopefully at least six! Mom and Dad are going to be so happy! How do three people get married? So much pain.

Why is she crying? Sweetheart? I said yes! Trey – tell her! Fuck! Don’t leave! Jenna! Trey! Goddamnit! I need to figure this out! Lots of babies, I hope. No! Fucking focus! So much pain. Goddamn drugs. Sweet Jenna. Nice – no more pain.

Shit. I think I was sleeping. Sleeping. Sleeping in a coma? Jenna. Jenna having babies. Trey’s babies. No, that’s not right. Coma. Cooooo. Maaaaa. Rocking chair. Holding my hand. I remember her holding my hand. Why did she leave? Trey was here. So much pain. Mom cries a lot. Dad? Dad doesn’t cry. Dad is crying. The pain is… leaving.

The pain means I’m alive. Not awake. Coma. The girls. My sisters. All of them. Must be Christmas. I didn’t shop. Oh shit. I hear them. So many stories. Rocking chair. I miss the kidlets. Another woman’s voice. Not a nurse. No. Her. Her. Jenna. Oh my sweet Jenna. Don’t leave me. Never. Always be with me. Kidlets. My sisters’ kidlets? Holding hands. No. Jenna’s kidlets. My kidlets with Jenna. I wish the pain would stop. No pain when I sleep.

No Jenna. The pain is back. Trey. Trey is here. I hear him. So much sadness. Dad. Dad and Trey. Jenna. No. Not Jenna. Her name. Their voices. Her name. Why won’t my mouth work? Did something happen to her? Oh shit. Is that why she isn’t here? Pain. So much pain. Rocking chair. Trey is sad. Jenna isn’t here. Rocking chair. Holding hands. Three of us. Is she hurt? Is she gone? Is she… dead?

I have to go. I can’t stay here.

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