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I can’t decide if I’m relieved, or disappointed they weren’t at work when I dropped off the cinnamon buns. Uh huh, yeah sure I can’t. Of course, I’m disappointed. I really was hoping to see them again, but apparently it isn’t meant to be. Probably for the best anyways since I had to take my bodyguards with me. When they heard I was going to the firehall, they lost their shit. This is really getting out of hand.

I have never had a long-term relationship, because no man has ever wanted to put up with them. They show up ‘coincidentally’ on my dates, watch through the windows as I’m dropped off, and I can only imagine what they say when I’m not around. Only through hard work, determination and sneaking out of my fucking window did I ever manage to lose my virginity. When I went away for college, despite being five hours away – my ‘guardians’ made their presence known. After they ‘randomly’ showed up at a few parties, I wasn’t asked out again. All the extra study time ensured I graduated with honours, with the four of them teary-eyed in the audience. They ruin my life, then make me love them. I guess that’s family. Stupid fuckers.

Thankfully, I have a work trip to distract me from my self-pity. I’ve only been to New York one other time, when I was hired for my position almost four years ago. They requested an in-person meeting, so here I sit enjoying the world’s saltiest bag of peanuts, 30,000 feet in the air. One good thing about being as short as I am, the leg room isn’t really a big deal.

The man in the seat beside me can’t take his eyes off my breasts, it is so gross. I’m used to being ogled for my chest, which is more than ample. All women are visually assaulted daily, unfortunately that’s the way it is. But this is fucking over the top, he isn’t even pretending to be discreet. Thinking I’d rather spend the rest of the flight in the bathroom, the flight attendant approaches.

“Excuse me miss, I’m so sorry to bother you. There has been an issue with your ticket, I’m going to need you to gather your items and come with me.” What? An issue with my ticket? We’re 30,000 feet in the air! Are they going to airlock me out or something? I stuff my book into my bag, and step over The Perv. He tries to be helpful and gets two handfuls of my ass on my way by. Unfuckingbelievable. Thank God I wore a longer skirt today. I normally know how to deal with men like him, but something inside is telling me to just walk away. So that is exactly what I do.

I follow the flight attendant to the middle of the plane, then she closes the curtain behind us. When she turns back to me, she is rolling her eyes.

“I had to get you out of there. That guy was making my ovaries shrivel in horror – super creepy!” She makes an exaggerated expression of being terrified, and I know I just met a new friend.

“Oh my God! I know, right? Did you see him grab my ass when I got out of the seat?” Her eyes wide, she says no. “Yeah, the fucker used both hands. Do you happen to have enough bleach on board for me to have a bath?” We both laugh, making light of the situation. If every woman made a scene every time she was touched or spoken to, without her permission – the fucking world would come to a screeching stop. We pick our battles, I guess. Nice world we live in.

“I’m Jennifer, by the way, but please call me Jen.” She extends her hand, and I happily shake it. Another hero – I’ve been extremely fortunate lately.

“Jen, as my new sister, I fucking love you and thank you. My name is Jenna and don’t ever call me Jen.” We both laugh again.

“Jenna, have you ever flown first class before?” As if! I prefer paying my mortgage and you know – eating. I tell her no, I have not. With a big smile on her face, “you are today! I am not sending you back to the wolves, and we have an empty seat. Follow me.” I’m confident the smile on my face is ear to ear.

When I sit down, the seat is so wide there is room for one more of me. The leg room now is fucking ridiculous, I can’t even reach the back of the chair in front of me. Jen stores away my bag and makes sure I’m settled before returning to her duties. I feel like a kid at Christmas, looking in all the little pockets, the complimentary toiletry bag – fancy! Pretty sweet set up, I will enjoy myself while I can.

After about an hour, Jen comes back. She is trying to hold in laughter and failing rather miserably at it. I wait impatiently to be let in on the joke.

“You know your favourite lecherous asshole back there?” Her voice is a loud whisper, which worries me. I can’t imagine talking about passengers like this, while others can hear, is a good idea. “He had an accident.” Wait. Fuck the passengers – I want to hear more. I know it’s terrible to revel in other people’s misery, but sometimes they deserve it. “It was an accident! Honest!” She holds up her hand, as if taking an oath. Now I’m laughing – whatever happened, she did it. This should be good. “I’ve never dropped a glass of cola over a passenger’s head before – it just slipped!” I have to clamp my legs together, so I don’t pee.

“Oh my God Jen! You didn’t!?” As gleeful as I am, I’m horrified for her. We won’t be laughing if she’s in the unemployment line and sleeping in my guestroom. She just shrugs her shoulders, which makes us laugh harder. Damn. I definitely peed a little.

“Excuse me ladies, I’m sorry to interrupt but I couldn’t help overhearing.” How did I not notice this guy before? Opposite aisle, one row back and fucking gorgeous. Is there a factory somewhere? Wow. Black hair, blue eyes, and I’d guess mid to late thirties. Jen doesn’t miss a beat.

“Some guy in coach was giving Jenna a hard time – real pervert with busy hands.” My eyes are begging her to stop talking, I’m so embarrassed. I shouldn’t be, I’m the victim, but I am all the same. “He just had a soda misfortune. Good thing I upgraded her before it happened.” She starts laughing again and goes back to work. Mr. Curious is still looking at me, his face contorted in anger. Shit, he’s mad because I didn’t pay to be in first class. It was fun while it lasted.

“Are you alright now, uh – miss?” Okay…

“Jenna, and I’m ok but thank you for asking. I guess I’m kind of used to it,” I shrug.

“Tyler,” he introduces himself. “Used to it? What do you mean?” He seems taken aback by what I said.

“Blonde hair, big boobs. Men assume I’m dumb and an easy lay. And don’t even get me started on the topic of how women are treated in general.” I’ll educate anyone for hours, sometimes even when they don’t want to hear it. “And because I’m small, some men treat me like I’m a kid. That really pisses me off. I might need help getting shit off the top shelf, but I don’t dig the whole ‘call me daddy’ thing. Gross!” Nice overshare Jenna, that should scare him.

“For the little it is worth, I apologize for my species. Any man who doesn’t appreciate,” is it getting hot in here? I don’t think the moisture between my legs is pee anymore. “the treasure you are, doesn’t deserve to be in your life.” Whoa. That right there is the kind of talk that gets you laid in the airplane bathroom. Especially since it has been more years than I care to count since I’ve had a man inside me. Is it possible to become a virgin again? “Would you please excuse me for a minute?” He gets up, and leaves. Likely to the bathroom. Thank God, I was really thinking about taking him for a ride.

“Jenna!” Jen is making, extremely excited. I wonder what she’s like at a concert or fair. That must be intense. “That gorgeous guy you were just talking to?” I nod, knowing she means Tyler. “He asked me to point out what guy was harassing you, so I did.” Ok, where is this leading? “He walked up to him, leaned down and whispered something in his ear. I have no idea what he said, but the jerk looks like he has seen a ghost. It was a thing of beauty.” She sees Tyler making his way back to his seat, so she hurries off. I wait for him to sit down before I ask.

“Tyler, did you just speak to the guy that was bugging me?” His face is completely passive, relaxed. He’s leaning slightly back, as if he doesn’t have a care in the world.

“No. I threatened the asshole who was assaulting you. He sends his apologies. He won’t be a concern again.” His eyes are hard, his voice full of confidence. Or bravado. Hmph. I don’t know what to say, or how to respond. Wait. Yes, I do. Turning back in my chair, so I’m no longer looking at him, I simply say “thanks”. I thought I left my bodyguards at home. I sure as hell don’t need another one.

I deliberately face forward and ignore him for the next hour of the flight, yet I can feel his gaze on me. I wonder how much time I can kill in the bathroom before it looks weird. I decide to find out. I don’t look at him as I get up, or back as I head to the first-class washrooms. As I open the door, I’m shoved firmly from behind into the lavatory. The door is closed and locked behind me. Tyler has followed me, and despite these bathrooms being bigger than the ones in coach, it’s still cozy.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” I can’t believe his nerve! I’m not worried about my safety; one good scream and the entire plane will hear me. “Get the fuck out of here!” I push on his chest, much like an ant would to a boulder. Well that was entertaining.

“I took care of a problem for you. I thought you would be grateful.” He seems amused, albeit perplexed. Holy shit, how did I not notice his arrogance before? Totally takes away from how fucking gorgeous he is. Well, a little bit.

“Pfft. If I wanted your help, I would be. But since I didn’t, that just makes you an asshole.” Now we’re back into my comfort zone – I can argue with a man all day long. Tyler wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me against him. I make a noise of disgust at the same time my body is asking for more. Traitor!

“You’re right Jenna. It is becoming more and more evident to me that you may not always need a knight in shining armor. I apologize if I overstepped my boundaries.” His voice is soft, sensuous. Sexy. “But the thought of his hands on you made me see red.” Oh my. Forgiven!

Moving my hands from his chest, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down for a kiss. Can I do this? Should I do this? A thousand self-doubts rip through me, all of them in my brother’s voice. When Tyler’s tongue pokes at my lips, seeking entry, all doubts evaporate. I want to do this, so I will.

Our kissing turns urgent very quickly. I know what my reason is, no idea what his desperation is. “Oh shit, Tyler! I don’t have a condom! Do you?” Based on his facial expression, the answer is no. Motherfucker. He pulls away, intent on stopping. Fuck that. “Tyler – you do know there are other things we can have fun with, right?” Sometimes I can be so snarky. His rather large erection twitches in his pants, so he knows what I’m talking about.

It takes more fumbling than it should, but I manage to get his pants undone enough for his dick to spring free. Wow. Impressive. Tyler looks ready to pass out, and when I take him in my mouth he nearly falls backwards into the toilet. I enjoy giving blowjobs. I love the power I feel, and more importantly, giving that pleasure to my partner. His balls are tight, so I know he isn’t going to be lasting much longer. I strengthen my suction and pull and caress his balls. With a shout he tries to smother, he shoots his cum down my throat. Oh my God, that was fun. My turn!

Thankfully, he agrees. He puts himself away, and zips back up. “Panties off, Jenna.” He is trying to take control, but he doesn’t know who he is dealing with. I hop onto the counter and lift my skirt.

“Oh Tyler, I’m not wearing any.” With a growl, Tyler drops to his knees and plunges his face between my thighs. I rest my feet on his shoulders and lean back when he inserts his fingers into me and starts thrusting. I’m so wet, the room is filled with the sounds of slurping and his penetrating fingers. He starts to curl his fingers at the end of each entry; hitting the sweet spot every woman loves, and he must cover my mouth with his free hand to smother my scream. My orgasm is huge, with multiple shudders and waves of pleasure. Tyler never leaves his spot, licking up every drop. Christ.

When he does stand, I pull him in for another kiss. I love to taste myself on a man’s lips. Tyler grinds his erection against my still throbbing clit, and the friction against the material of his pants is intense. “Tyler, Christ, again,” I groan, rubbing back against him just as desperately. After today, I am always going to carry condoms. I wish I could feel him inside me… I lift my shirt over my head and remove my bra. While we safely dry hump one another, I give Tyler as much access to my breasts as he can reach. I already know he’s good with his mouth and tongue, and he gives each of my breasts equal attention.

I grab him quickly and put his mouth back on mine when my orgasm is imminent. Our tongues again intertwine, but this time we scream our orgasms into each other’s mouths. Jesus. Best plane ride ever. We catch our breaths, resting our foreheads against one another.

“I’m going to have to wear my shirt untucked. My pants are a mess,” Tyler chuckles. Oh shit, he’s right. I have spread my juice all over the front of his pants, and there is an obvious spot where he ejaculated. “Totally fucking worth it.”

Good answer.

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