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The first time Trey and I went by her place, one of the four guys from that night answered the door. Clearly convinced we were there to; rape her, kidnap her or murder her – or some combination of the three, he wouldn’t tell us a damn thing. So, we had left before Trey followed through on his threats, none of which were getting us anywhere.

This is now the second time we are trying, and we’re hoping for better success. Another member of the witless wonders answers the door, but he at least confirms that Jenna is out of town for work. He won’t tell us when she’s due back though and seems anxious to get us to leave. Curious. When I hear her voice as the elevator doors open, I understand why. He wanted us gone before she got home. Too bad, asshole.

“I could have taken a fucking cab just as easily Jeffrey! Christ! If anyone is in my place already – I’m kicking your ass.” Like music to my ears. Jenna is walking with the guy we know to be Jeffrey, and the other two schmucks. Based on their facial expressions, this chastisement has been going on for awhile. Likely the entire ride home.

She stops in her tracks when she sees Trey and I, causing the three guys to trip over themselves to avoid running into her. She has absolutely no idea the impact she has on the men in her life – and it blows my mind. At first, she seems surprised, but then she smiles. Christ. What a smile.

“Jeff, take my stuff inside please.” Her eyes are flipping between Trey and I, and it is probably a good thing the other three are there. It keeps Trey and I from fucking devouring her in the hallway. Jeff, however, does not seem inclined to move.

“I’m not leaving you alone with these… two.” He crosses his arms, puffing out his chest. Before Trey or I have a chance to do anything, Jenna handles the situation. Wow, does she ever. The smile disappears from her face so fast, it’s scary. The look she gives ‘Jeff’ is ball-shrivelling. Icy.

“These two men are firefighters Jeffrey. They saved my life. They deserve your gratitude, not your distrust. Do you think they might assault me here in the hallway? Hmmm?” Her voice is so snarky at the end, I feel embarrassed for the guy. Well, almost. Ok, not really. Dumbass. “No. They won’t. Now take my shit inside before I lose my fucking mind please?” Her face is kind, but her tone sure isn’t. They take her stuff and move past us into the suite, glaring the entire time. Trey and Mitch 1, Jackasses 0.

Once the door is closed, she turns to me and extends her hand.

“I’m Jenna by the way. We’ve never really been introduced.” I happily shake her hand and introduce myself. “What brings you two back to my neighbourhood? Everything is ok I hope?” We reassure her we’re not there on work business, and my normally braver than everyone else best friend looks to me to start the conversation. Prick.

“So uh, Jenna. Trey and I were wondering if you’d be interested in going out with us? I mean – individually? You know, one at a time.” Smooth. And will you save the last dance for me at prom? Jesus. She seems to think about it before answering.

“I want to make sure I understand correctly. Trey and I will go out?” Trey eagerly nods. Calm down junior high. “And you and I will go out?” She points to me. Hell yes, we will. “You’re both interested in me?” She seems doubtful, suspicious. We both nod again. Blushing, she admits she’s attracted to both of us too. Hallelujah! “Are you two sure you can be okay with this arrangement?”

Trey and I quickly reassure her we’ve discussed it, and we’re prepared to deal with anything that might come up. We’d rather both have the opportunity to date her and see where that leads. She might prove to be ‘the one’ for one of us, and we want to take the chance – but we don’t tell her that part. Let’s not scare her off before the first date, shall we? So we tell her we’re grown men, we can handle any challenges. She seems doubtful, saying she doesn’t want to come between our friendship.

“I’m game if you guys are, I just have one rule.” At this point I’m sure we’d give ourselves as human sacrifices if it would convince her.

“As soon as it stops working for anybody, it’s over for everybody.” Damn.

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