I wake up to weight on top of me and soreness so bad it hurt to breathe. Last night was a disaster. Slightly wiggling my way out of his arms I wrap him around my pillow. Snatching my phone from the nightstand I call snitch.
"Lee or the pitbull?" I can't contain the giggle as it slips past my lips.
"I don't know his deal. But I need you to know I told him to do it."
"I know..... I'm sorry I should've stood out of it; it's just a habit. Sticking up for people."
"I get it but the timing, it was off. Thanks but I'm good k homey?" He let's out a chuckle and let's it go and we hang up. Dialing my Lady Dr I make an appointment and stress the fact that I'm changing to the shot. Never want the damn implant again. Getting an appointment for 3 days from today I take a shower and get dressed. I throw on a pair of gray sweatpants and a black cropped sweater. My hair is pinned back and my face is clear of makeup.
When I get to the kitchen I see it's quiet, telling me the princess is still sleeping. With a migraine from hell a sore and bruised body I decide today will be a cereal day. I go to the cupboard and grab the frootloops for her and lucky charms for me.
Just as I pour my milk I hear soft footsteps. Standing up as the cute little brunette with the big blue eyes approaches. The moment her eyes land on the counter her eyes twinkle. "Cereal for breakfast?" She signs. I nod my head and lift her on to a stool. I wince out in pain just as hear heavier footsteps making it's way in. When my eyes meets the owner said footsteps.
I watch those blue eyes search my body and sadness taking over. I wore sweatpants and a sweater for a reason. I didn't need him looking at me with pity. I feel pretty pathetic already as it is.
"You should get some rest Lee you went to bed pretty late last night." His voice stern causing my body to subconsciously tense. Looking down at my bowl of cereal I nod. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out lil-"
"I-Its okay I, um ill go after I eat." I timidly respond. He tells me he's going to spend the day with Sofia. He is going to tell her about their mom today. It hurts that he doesn't want me there but I get it. Right now is about them and they need each other the most.
It's finally the day of my appointment. I'm wearing a pinl floral sundress, it come mid thigh and is easy to remove. I leave my hair down and my face makeup-free. I haven't seen Gage or Sofie since the day he told me he was going to tell her about their mom. He hasn't texted or called but now its pretty apparent he's avoiding me. I would to if I was him. He probably only wanted me because I look like my mother. I guess seeing that I'm too broken to be a sub for him probably snapped him out of his little fantasy.
These past 3 days have been really hell on us. I had to break the news to Sofie alone and that itself was heartbreaking, but when Sofia cried for Lee I felt it. I felt it because I wanted her too. She was supposed to do it with me she was supposed to be there, but I fucked it up. That night still angers me that I didn't control myself, that I took it too far. I can't look at her knowing I hurt her the way that monster did.
She could barely look at me and flinched when I talked. I never though I'd hate doing what I do but I do. Sofia and I have been staying at Nicks moms place. She was gone for a few days but she came home today. I came to the mansion so I can talk to Lee. I need to fix this, I can't have her scared of me.
Just as I step in to the foyer Lee is walking down the steps. She's in a short pink and while flowered short dress. Her breast pushed up, the nursing on her neck wrist and thighs fading. "Where the fuck does she think she going like that?" I watch her whole body tense when her head snaps up and eyes widen.
"I-'I'm going to the doctor."
"W-what are you okay I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt y"
"No, Gage stop it's for my birth control. Gage, I'm sorry."
"Don't. Give me the keys ill come with." I don't know why she is apologizing but I see her body tense. Fuck it. I snatch the car keys from her hand and walk out to the car with her on my tail.
I would be lying if I said the ride to my gyno was spent in a comfortable silence, but it wasn't. The tension was thick and something was weighing on both or minds but neither of us talked. When we arrived the wait was short before a tall thick ebony queen led us to the back. She of course flirted with Gage and all I could do was roll my eyes. Once we got in the room she told me to strip and put on the robe open slit to the front.
"Why do you have to strip?" Gage ask in confusion.
"You're going to get kicked out, they need to do an exam." Just as I finish my sentence the door opens. Holy hotness. The Gyno is a tall Italian man, his green eyes and panty dropping smile has me salivating. He has a strong jaw line and perfectly trimmed face hair. A throat clearing snaps me from my dirty thoughts as I face an angry-looking Gage.
"Hi Lyda I am Doctor Randall Russo. So I see here we're taking out the implant and switching to depo?" Not trusting my voice I nod my head. When he looks up from the files his eyes widen and I assume it's because of the fading bruises. He ask Gage to exit the room to talk to me and Gage refused at first but then said he had 5 minutes.
Once gage was gone Dr. Russo asked if I was being abused and if I felt safe. I couldn't help the blush on my cheeks when I told him no and his eyes widen in surprise. He has me roll up my sleeve as he prepares to cut out the implant. My whole body shakes in nerves and just as he lifts the scalpel gage walks in. He rushes over to me and I grab his hand with tears already in my eye.
Using his hand he blocks my vision so my sole focus is on him. It's comforting at first til I feel the scalpel cutting skin. My tears fall free as he digs it out then wraps my arm. He hands me a pain pill and a prescription then has me lay back and put my feet on the stirrups.
"What are you doing?" Gage growls.
"He has to do an exam." I say in a duh tone. I watch his face screw up and his fist ball as the Dr gets between my open parted legs. Gages grip on my hand tightens while he goes in to get swabs and I have to use all my strength when the Dr sticks his hand up there. When he's done he move up to my breast causing gage to shoot up in his chair.
"Calm down pitbull I'm checking for lumps." The doctor tells him. Once he's done he steps out to let me get dressed again.
"Why does his hands have to be all over you? What the fuck was that bullshit?" Gage barks.
"It's his job doofus." Just then the dr walks back in with the shot in his hand. I turn lift my dress exposing my right cheek for him to inject. I can see the steam leaving Gage as his phone rings. He walks over to the corner and once the dr is done he speaks.
"Here's my card! If you have any issues or spotting give me a-" Before he can finish his sentence the card is snatched from my hand.
"She will be getting a different doctor thank you!" Gage grits out. Not in the mood I snatch the card back and walk out. When we make our way to the garage my whole bag is snatched.
"Gage!" I growl as he get the card and rips it in my face. "What is your damage?" I cry out. "I'm not my mom!"
"What?" He says in confusion.
"I'll pay for your damn conjugal visit."
"What are you getting at?"
" I'm not her!! I look like her but I'm not her you can't keep fucking me and pretending. I will never be in to the stuff you enjoy stop trying to substitute." I tell him.
"I don't compare you to her. I am sorry for what I d-"
"Stop I offe-"
"Shut it and let me talks! I'm sorry I did that to you! It has nothing to do with me wanting you to substitute your mom. Can we please stop talking about her."
"You avoided me for"
"I SAID SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK! I avoided you because I hated seeing you flinching when I spoke or tensing when I'm around. I don't need to be that I just, I need you. Sofie and I've been in hell and we need you. I don't want you scared of me I want you the way you were with me." Tears begin to fall free and it breaks my heart to see him like this. "I've stopped thinking about your mom long ago Lee I'm not substituting." I pull him in to my arms and speak.
"I'm sorry I did this to you. I knew I couldn't handle it! I shouldn't have offered. You shouldn't feel guilty I should." I feel him press his lips to the crown of my head and the pain meds kick in.
I feel the weight in her change after I tell her to rest. I knew she would crash I just didn't expect it to happen so fast.
"Rest! I'll pick up Sofie and we can spend the day watching movies." She nods her head weakly. I lift her in my arms and slide her in to the car before going and getting in. "I'm falling for you Lee, your mother isn't even a option." Ive known for a while but it seems I need to tell her. How can she think that after every thing I would use her? She is nothing like Felicity. Which is why for her I am willing to change.
When I put the car into drive my phone rings when I answer I'm shocked to hear the prison personnel on the other end. "Is this Gage Bellamy?
"We're calling on behalf of an inmate Felicity Cruz. She was stabbed during a riot and you are the only person as emergency contact." Fuck! Just what I needed.