Copyright © 2020 by J. M. Johnson
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without written permission of the copyright owner except for the use of quotations in a book review
The Alpha’s Beta Mate
** Trigger warning ** Not to be taken lightly **
Whilst this book is at its best when you go into it blind, with no knowledge of whats to come, I understand that this isn't for everyone, and I don't want to trigger anybody.
Potential spoilers, but triggers include:
- Abuse: physical, mental, emotional and sexual
- Mentions of rape
- Toxic relationships
- child abuse
Please understand that whilst I've done my best to include all possible triggers, I don't know what affects you on an individual basis. If you see something and it has triggered you, let me know and I can add it to this list to warn other people. However please understand that I cannot possibly list everything, as that will ruin the story for some people.
I hope you can understand and you enjoy the story I'm telling - not every character is good, and I don't always agree or condone their actions. But these people exist. Also remember that whilst they are human, they are led by an animal that can often be brutal.
“Paul, I’ve told you a million times, I’m not ready yet!” I exhaled with visible impatience
“I don’t understand the wait!” He snapped back, his nostrils flaring in anger. “We both know that this is what we want - you haven’t changed your mind... have you?” he asked after a moment’s hesitation.
I flinched as the face that haunted my dreams flashed behind my eyes for a moment, shocking me to the very core of my being that he still had this effect on me. It was one thing to come to me at night when I had no thought or control over the visions that took place, but during the day? I couldn’t let him keep this level of control over me! His voice boomed around my head, as I knew it would. The voice always followed his beautiful image. He had been beckoning me for days.
“Of course I’ve not changed my mind, I just need some more time. I haven’t even told my dad about us...”
Paul interrupted me with a scoff, “please!” he spat as he rolled his eyes at me. “You haven’t spoken to your dad in 5 years, don’t bring him into it! You didn’t even attend your mother’s funeral, they’re clearly not important to you”
My wolf growled out a firm warning, reminding him without words who was the more dominant wolf here as well as his status in my life. Now was not the time to push me.
“My life is complicated, Paul! My parents and I... Look, ” I muttered, my voice becoming firmer. “I won’t be pushed on this. I said I’m not ready, and that’s the end of it. If you’re not willing to wait, that’s fine, you know where the door is, but don’t you dare stand there and deliver orders to me as though I’m your bitch.”
“Grace...” Paul extended his arms to me, looking suddenly apologetic as he realised my infamous anger was close to bubbling over.
I shrugged his hands away before he could make contact with me. “No. You don’t get to turn on the puppy eyes and say you’re sorry and that you’ll wait for me. I’ve heard it all before.” I closed my eyes against the voice in my mind that was growing louder and more demanding: Its time, Grace. You need to come home. I won’t tell you again. Remember who your Alpha is. Remember what you did, Grace. You owe them.
I owed them? The fucking nerve of him! I owed nobody in the NightWalker pack anything! They had never given me anything that I hadn’t paid for with my own blood, sweat and tears... so many fucking tears!
“I just want you to be accepted into the pack, Grace,” Paul stressed, snapping me out of my internal rant. “It’s been 5 years and you still haven’t accepted the alpha’s offer and left your old pack behind. The other members here are whispering about you. We let you off when you were young and afraid, but you turned 18 two years ago. Its time you made yourself a permanent fixture here”
“Oh, and I suppose choosing you as my choice mate is the only way to do that, is it?” I shot back, my voice dripping in sarcasm.
“No, I just...”
“If the alpha has a problem, you tell him to come and speak to me. Now, if you’ll excuse me...” I bumped my shoulder against his with more force than was necessary as I made my way past him. I had surprised myself by my sudden decision, but I knew in my heart that this was right. This was what I had trained so hard for all these years.
“Where are you going?” he asked as his eyes followed me out of the door.
I almost laughed as his eyes grew wide at my response. “To pack my cases. I’m being summoned”
I couldn’t ignore the alpha call any longer. It was time to go home and face up to my past.
“Will she really come?” Thomas asked as he clutched my hand, his words slurred and slow.
I smirked as an image of Grace came to mind. Grace had always been the “good girl”. The one that had never wanted to rock the boat. Of course she would come home.
“She’ll come back Thomas, you have my word on that one. Don’t worry about anything, you just concentrate on getting better, let me deal with this.” I rose, intending to leave him now that I had put his mind at ease, but the hand that was clutching mine suddenly tightening, his nails digging into my skin as his eyes grew large, appearing almost frantic.
“You’ll tell her I’m sorry, won’t you, Alpha? You’ll tell her I didn’t mean it, that I was stupid? I wasn’t in my right mind! Moon Goddess forgive me,” he whispered, tears spilling down his cheeks as he sank back on the bed, weakened by the fierce display of emotion he had shown.
I frowned down at him as his eyes closed, as his breathing became shallow and even, showing that he had exhausted himself to sleep.
What was all that about? I wondered, thinking back to the night that Grace had left. I knew they had argued, the two of them were always butting heads, but as far as I was aware, it wasn’t anything that would warrant this reaction.
Both had a different story to tell. Thomas and Helen would say Grace was troublesome, difficult to deal with. She was promiscuous and sneaky, unable and, most importantly, unwilling to partake in her responsibilities to ensure the pack ran smoothly.
Grace would tell tales of her abuse at the hands of her parents, how they treated her like dirt and physically hurt her for no other reason than hatred. They had wanted a boy, a male heir, to replace them as Beta of the Night Walker pack. Grace was ashamed of the fact that she was no better than a null. Her parents were psychotic in their disappointment, blaming her for everything that went wrong.
My jaw hardened. The Grace I thought I had known was nothing but a mirage - a personality that she had conjured up in order to seem more appealing, to gain more sympathy as the damsel in distress. She played a clever game and knew exactly what it was she was doing.
She had probably stayed away this long to punish her father even more. She hadn’t turned up for her own mother’s funeral, so it showed how little she cared about the parents that had done their best for her. I knew now that she had blinded me. I had gotten too involved, believed this teenager when she stared into my eyes and made declarations she had no intentions of keeping. She didn’t know how to tell the truth.
Nevermind that I had also seen with my own eyes the side of her she had tried to hide from me - I should have been more suspicious of her when she appeared that night. Should have kept my guard up. I was saved in the nick of time by her own stupidity.
The cynical side of me sneered in revulsion as a thought came to mind - she was bound to return home once she got wind that her father was on his deathbed. Greedy, money-hungry Grace would be all too happy to hear that she was to inherit everything. Even after the way she had treated Thomas, he had made sure that she was still in the will to manage the entire estate as well as keeping her position as the next Beta.
I had been clinging to a shred of hope that she hadn’t left the pack yet, despite being accepted into another one almost as soon as she left, because she wanted to keep some sort of connection to me, that I wasn’t just a pawn in her game to rise through the ranks. Now though, now I could see clearly. She hadn’t left so she could make sure she had a higher position to return to should her new pack not work out.
I could feel her presence getting closer, her scent becoming stronger. She was on her way back home and this time, I would be the one to come out on top, she would not fool me again.
I laughed as I left Thomas’ room and made my way to the office. Grace was to inherit everything, including the position as my Beta. She would finally make good on the sweet promises she had whispered in my ear all those years ago, whether or not she liked it, and this time I would be ready for her.
I made my way to the greeting room of this house, instinctively knowing that Grace would return to her childhood home as though she owned the place - which she technically would in a few days if the pack doctor was to be believed. Whilst her scent continued to tantalise me with its sweet aroma, I forced myself to remember her bitter lies and to plan ahead, to try to think what games she was planning on playing with me this time round. I needed to have a checkmate move for every eventuality.