I'm a voyeur, plain and simple. Some people would prefer the term 'pervert' to better describe me, but that wasn't true. I liked to look at people, beautiful people. Because you see, I'm ugly. So very ugly that I never got laid. The only time I had sex was I was working a late night shift at the bar and a drunk guy came up behind me in the alley outside and pushed me against the wall to fuck me. Honestly, I hated it. But I was so flattered that he noticed me that I helped him open my pants and put his (honestly pathetic) cock in my virgin hole. At least he used a condom. But I let him use me, you see, because he was a beautiful man.
I even let him cum on my face.
No, I made him cum on my face. Got on my knees, took his condom off and sucked him until he came all over my face.
So that was my first time.
Since then I've never been fucked again. No man or woman ever gave me a second glance. My face was so repulsive that one look was all they needed to know that they wanted nothing to do with me.
But I watched them.
My workplace was full of them. Beautiful girls with pretty dresses, long straight hair or brown curly hair that bounced when they danced. The sound of the men's laugh, their smirks that makes your stomach do that weird thing. One time a guy sat at the bar and bit his lip looking at a girl. I swear I almost came in my pants.
I remember everyone's face, the most minute details about them and when I come home I jerk off. To their perfect bodies and perfect hair and perfect clothes. I put my underwear in my mouth to muffle my moans and I put my fingers in my hole while my other hand jerks off my member.
Even my cock is ugly.
I am pathetic, I don't try to do any better because I know there's no way I could ever be any better. Not like them.
One thing I'm glad about is my ability to pull of a straight face even when I'm hiding a boner between my legs. That's why nobody in the bar ever complains about the creepy bartender that always looks at them.
You could say my life was bad, but it wasn't. It was pretty normal. The only bad element in my life was me.
Until he moved in across the street.
My apartment window looked directly into his apartment window. His bedroom window to be precise. And the first time I looked at him, he was fucking a girl who was on all fours. He was pulling her hair and all his chiseled muscles bunched in a delicious way when he thrust into her from behind.
I drooled on myself.
That was a week ago. Since then I've looked at him countless times. Sleeping, walking around his bedroom. Fucking a different woman, and a man on his bed.
I wish he fucked me like that but he won't even give me a second glance.
Especially if he knew I jerked off to him, he'll probably call the police then.
So I continued my routine. I worked at the bar in the night, I watched the customers and poured their drinks. I came home at the asscrack of dawn while my neighbor either slept, or had his morning quickie before kicking his bedmates out. I ate, I jerked off and I slept.
That is my life.