It's 7.30 Sunday morning, my head is pounding from the shear amount of wine I consumed last night, my mouth taste like the bottom of a bird cage and my mum is banging on my bedroom door like she wants my brain to explode. I think she will succeed.
it's all entirely my own fault though so I guess I can't be angry. As far as she is concerned I was home late because I was volunteering at the church, mum had told me earlier on in the week that we were getting a new guy down at the church, some sort of trainee reverend or something, I don't know I wasn't really listening, but I saw an opportunity and I took it. Last night my friend Lucy wanted me to go with her to a party where she knew there were going to be lots of soldiers on time off from duties, and I didn't take much convincing that's for sure. Alcohol and men starved of female attention, now that's a party if ever I saw one. So my mum's rambling about church gossip finally payed off, who would have thought? she practically squealed with delight when I suggested I help him prepare for his Sunday school session, so happy I was volunteering my time to the church. I told her I might be late back (which I was but I was at the church right? so no need to wait up for me.) I knew she would be asleep by 10, she always was on a Saturday she liked an early night ready for church.
The banging on my door continued, and my mum's overly chirpy voice felt like a cheese grater rubbing along my ear drums, I curled my pillow around the sides of my head to try and block out the torture "Helena darling! time to get up! you need to get dressed!" urghhhh! " mum why are you waking me up at this time!" she strode straight into my room, clearly shouting through the door was not her ideal form of communication "because silly, we're going to church, I can't wait for you to introduce me to the man who might be our future reverend, it's never a bad idea to get in good with the right people you know" crap, ohhhhh crap. why did I not see this coming. I have not thought this through "ummm mum I'm sure he will be too busy with" she cut me off with a wave of her hand as she was rooting through my wardrobe to pick me out appropriate clothing " nonsense! I'm sure he will be more than happy to talk with the mother of the lovely girl who spent her evening helping him out, now, up and get ready, I've run you a bath, we will head out in an hour" she put a pale yellow high necked knee length dress and a cream cardigan across my bed then strolled out of the room without another word.
Panic began to rise up my throat in the firm of some bile, I pushed it down. Did I mention crap? How in the hell am I going to worm my way out of this one? I have literally no idea. What I do know is that when she finds out about my little lie, I'm going to have a whole lot of confessing to do.
I go get into the bath, and as I'm cleaning up I try to formulate a plan, it isn't going well, I've got nothing. I decide that my best hope at this point is that the new guy is infact to busy and we don't come into contact with him at any point today, then maybe I try and talk to him at some point and explain my little situation, I mean I'm 99% sure he won't cover for me but I'm short on choices and long on not wanting to spend the rest of my life being questioned as to my whereabouts by mum. Her unwarranted trust is the key to my happy life, and if caught out on one lie, no doubt she will end up finding out about all the others......
See the thing is, me and my mum have very different ideas about what a young lady should and shouldn't do with their time. She thinks my main concerns should be being respectable, being propper, and taking part in community events, giving the impression of being an upstanding member of society. But I just don't feel the need to keep up appearances, I want to go out, have fun. I like male attention, I don't sleep about, though I have had sex with a couple of guys it's not like I have a different one every week, and to be honest, it's never been great when I have done it. I get all the urges but then I'm disappointed, I tell them what it is I want but they never listen, too busy with they're own pleasure to be interested in mine.
Time to get out of the bath and out of my internal ramble that I've found myself in. I go into my room, dry off and start to get dressed, looking in the mirror and hating the fact that my mum still thinks it's ok to pick out my clothing, I'm 18, and apparently can't be trusted decide what to wear. I briefly contemplate wearing something different, but decide against it, I'm already going to be in enough trouble once mum finds out that I was drinking and letting an lovely uniformed stranger get handsy, instead of helping a stuffy boring religious man down at the church last night. God even thinking it sounds dull.
I'm ready within 45 minutes. Just enough time to force down some jam on toast, I'm not hungry yet but I don't want to get half way through the long boring service with reverend staresalot and regret not eating. His real name is reverend Miller, but he spends most of his services droning on and eyeing up girls. I've even heard rumours about him making unwanted advances toward some of the girls who go to church frequently. luckily I don't frequent church often enough for him to try it on with me though. Mum's lucky if she can drag me there once every few months.
After mum has inspected my outfit thoroughly, and forced me into the cardigan I hadn't bothered to put on (Heaven forbid I show anything above the elbow) we head out the door and make our way to the church. Mum complaining at me to hurry up the whole way there as she wouldn't want to arrive late and not have time to talk to the new guy. if my legs could have moved any slower I would. My fun times are about to become a distant memory.