fuck. The first word that came to mind when she asked me. I felt my face warm up. Zach told her, is that why she was crying that day she walked out from class? I took a deep breath.
“I don’t know.” I looked up at her. I could see sadness in her eyes. The same sadness I saw that day in those brown eyes of hers.
“Okay.” She replied. She began to put everything away.
I wanted to hug her and tell her I was sorry. But I didn’t know how to. I can say sorry, but that won’t fix anything. She got up and began to walk upstairs.
“Wait.” I said. I got up.
She kept walking up the stairs.
I caught up to her.
Her voice trembling.“Let me go please. I want to be alone.” She said.
I turned her around so she would face me. Tears were streaming down her face. I made her cry. I made her cry.
I hugged her. She wasn’t hugging me back but I didn’t care. We stood there as she cried on my chest. I hurt her. Badly. I pulled her head away and kissed her forehead. What the hell? I thought to myself. What was I doing? I’ve never done this before. She has changed me. I pulled her back into my chest and apologized. I held her until her breathing began to slow down.
I picked her up and took her to her bedroom. I slid her down infront of the fireplace. I pulled blankets and pillows together. I pulled her closer to me. Her head was on my chest. I could feel my heart beating fast. We laid there in silence for a couple hours.
It was late, she sat up and I did too. Her eyes were still puffy.
“I’m sorry.” I said to her, as a pulled strands of hair away from her face.
“Did you believe all the things that people said about me?”
I knew I had to tell her the truth. It would only hurt her more if I lied.
“Yes. Some of them, but getting to meet you this semester was the best thing that happened to me. I am sorry that sexualized you. It was a bad comment of me to make about you.”
“Why did you then?”
“Because I was dumb and scared.”
“Not being enough?”
I reached and grabbed her hands. Holding them in mine.
“Amelia. You are one of the most beautiful girls I’ve met. You have so many different talents and skills. Every girl in the past that has approached me just saw me as the socially awkward guy that’s hot. Nothing else. I never thought that Zach was asking me because you were interested in me. I never thought a girl like you would ever be interested in a guy like me. You see me for who I am. And I didn’t do that, I let rumors decide who you were as a person. For that I am sorry.”
“Thank you.” she smiled at me
“Can I kiss you?” I asked her
She leaned in, and softly kissed me. Her lips were so soft and sweet.
I pulled her in and hugged her, kissing her forehead.
We laid back down and placed her hand on my chest.
She explained to me what had happened with Dakota and her. The things he said to her and how he believed Emily. Anger began to fill up my chest. He hurt her, badly, and I just did that too. But the difference between him and I, was that I wanted to make things right with her. She deserved to be happy after everything that she has gone through. And now, she was in my arms, tonight and for the rest of the night. My, was she beautiful. I leaned over and kissed he forehead.
I sat deep in though processing what she had just told me. I waited for her to fall asleep. I stared at her beautiful face. She was mine now. My girl, she liked me and I liked her too.
We fell asleep together on the floor.