He was here. Jason. The other half of my soul.
He stood before me, his sea green eyes blazing, lit from within and glowing with power, and his black curls moved with the current of his energy. It radiated from him, his power, and it was reaching for me across the distance between us. It was really only a few yards that separated us, but it felt like miles, and yet he still reached. I felt my own power respond instinctually, craving reconnection with its other half. It made my blood boil with indignation and resentment, so with a flick of my will, I threw up a barrier between us, keeping his power at bay and keeping mine in check.
I could not allow for our powers to reconnect, to brush against each other like giant cats, caressing and stoking the flames of energy that surged between us. It would weaken my resolve and I could not afford to allow sentimentality to affect me now. I would not lose ground to him, not after everything I had done to make myself strong these past 8 months without him.
I fought to keep my face blank as I stared across the chasm of differences between us. My body struggled to remain composed in his presence as if it had a mind of its own, as if it longed for me to run him, and allow him to fold me into his warm embrace. I ignored the ache that thumped painfully in my chest at the sight of him. He had abandoned me, and I felt betrayed. When I would have been more inclined to follow him, when I had been weaker willed, Jason had turned away from me, leaving me behind to save himself and his ideals. He didn't just abandon me, he abandoned us. He forsook any future that we might have had by not having the courage to stand by me when I had needed him the most. I was stronger, made so by my own sense of self and sheer will power, and I no longer felt like I needed him.
The rage that pounded through my veins overshadowed any feelings of longing. Breaking the stillness of my face I bared my teeth in a bestial snarl, like a rabid animal. Jason flinched away from me and my savagery and it gave me a twinge of pleasure. He stared at me like he didn't recognize me. I grinned evilly at him, relishing the look of confusion on his face.
Jason shook his head, as if he were trying to wipe the memory of my snarl from his mind. When he looked back at me his eyes had cleared and he squared his shoulders, his resolve bolstering. I felt it then. His power was searching the wall I had erected between us, searching for a weak point. I knew he wouldn't find any, but I allowed him to try. I watched as each touch of power mingled for a moment with mine, combining them and making sparks of neon purple. They bouncing off the barrier and drifting out into the snow filled night. It was beautiful to look at, shimmering across the crisp snow that layered every surface, like purple diamonds.
The air was frigid, the chill of the March night striking me to my core, sending shivers down my spine. I was wearing only a white dress that hugged my body, showing every curve to its fullest. I shook off the cloak that I had been wearing over the dress, wanting Jason to see my body and see everything that he had left behind when he had turned his back on me. I shivered again but I refused the cloak as it was offered back to me by the man on my right hand side. He knew I wanted to punish Jason, knew that my body was a weapon, one that would cut Jason to his core better than any power ever could, but he also felt the need to protect me, even from the elements.
Jason's eyes held tears as they roamed over the hills and valleys of my body. Those beautiful sea green eyes, which held so much love and desire eight months ago, now held sorrow and regret. The sight of those tears sent a hot lance through my heart, but I stared back at him in defiance, hating that the sight of his tear fill eyes moved me. I had pushed myself too hard to allow something as small as his tears break me now.
My anger flared back to life in that moment. How dare he? If he thought he could sway me with those eyes, tears brimming like a cup that had been filled to overflowing, he was wrong. I thought nothing of the trivial pain that seeing me this way caused him. My own pain and anger and despair was so great that I could not even acknowledge it.
I angled my body from him, giving him the perfect view of the curves of my body, my eyes on his face as he took it all in. I enjoyed the way his eyes widened as he took in my figure, the pain of carnal knowledge and the lack of it plain on his face. An evil, corrupted chuckle slipped past my lips as I held my hand out to the two men that flanked me.
They came eagerly when I beckoned them, and they pressed their warm bodies against mine, one against my front an one against my back, enfolding me in their arms, each with a hand resting on my waist. I watched Jason's face, and I saw anger floating in his sorrow filled eyes and I felt delightfully petty. I didn't care though and allowed their warmth and strength to infuse my body. The tight ball of pain that I held in my chest started to loosen while I was in their arms. They bolstered me and helped me regain my composure. They both radiated their love and devotion to me and to each other and I sipped on that energy like the fine wine it was.
I loved these men. They helped fill the gaping void within me and helped me become stronger when I needed them most. They helped me stay sane. They kept me from going too far in to the darkness, saving me from oblivion over and over again, and keeping from becoming the monster I would have become there. Even knowing this, bringing it to light, I also knew in my heart of hearts that I would never stop loving Jason. My soul knew him, no matter how much I wanted to rip out the part of my heart that had his name on it. Love can change over time though, and the love I thought I had felt for Jason had changed for me.
Accepting that knowledge infuriated me. He may have been my soul mate, but that didn't mean he deserved my heart or body. They did. I hated Jason with a passion for a split second. I was where I was because I had crossed paths with him. My anger almost instantly cooled though, as another thought wormed its way into my mind. I was fated to end up here, whether Jason had crossed my path or not, or at least that's what I had always thought. That made another thought occur to me. If I was fated to be here then maybe Jason had been thrown into my path for a reason, the deciding factor of whether I belonged in the darkness or not. Maybe he had been destined to remind me that I was born from both the dark, and the light, and to save me from my own self destruction. Or, maybe he was always meant to join me here, in the shadows.
The realization hit me hard, like a sludge hammer between the eyes, and I felt the blossom of hope bloom in my heart. The man whose body pressed so closely to the front of mine must have sensed the direction of my thoughts because his grip on my body tightened, causing me to glance up at him and away from Jason. The look in my eyes must have not been what he wanted to see because he leaned in and roughly pressed his lips against mine, his tongue flicking out to caress my lips, asking for entrance. I could feel the desperation in his kiss, and it almost brought tears to my eyes. He was worried that he would lose me again. I wanted to tell him he had nothing to fear.
I tried to assuage that fear by pressing my body tight as it would allow against his. He was my first love, and after rediscovering each other he was worried he would lose me to the only other man that had the power to take me away from him. I let myself get lost in the desperate kiss, but eventually pulled back from it. I watched the pain and worry fill his eyes as I pulled back and pushed them both away gently. I tried to show him with my eyes that he had nothing to fear as I pulled away, but the fear lingered in his eyes and my heart broke a little because of it.
I turned back to Jason, prepared to talk to him, to accept the intricacies of fate, to try and come to an agreement, but what I saw when I turned to him made my breath catch and my heart drop into my stomach. Jason had been gathering each little purple spark of our combined power, building it into a massive ball of energy while I had been distracted. Before I could even form words to stop him, Jason launched the power at the barrier between us, the look in his eyes as it flew through the air made my heart pulse with fear. He looked like he was ready to go to war and the shine of purple across his face painted him in an evil light. The energy slammed through the barrier, shattering it into a million fragments of scarlet power, to crash into the ground mere feet from where I stood.
The power exploded, causing the ground I stood on to vault and heave, launching me into the air. The scream that had started as Jason released the power was frozen in my throat, and I was unable to make a sound. My mind was a tangle of fear and I had no focus to stop my momentum as my quick ascent slowed and quickly became a descent, the ground below me racing up to meet me.
Jason was suddenly there, his face fierce as his arms came up to cradle my body gently against his chest as we landed gently on the flow of his power. I was breathless, and wanted to say something to Jason, but before I could form any words Jason had set me down only to levitate me in a balloon of his power, trapping me.
I hated being trapped. Instinct took over and I screamed, pounding my fists against the wall of power. Jason’s eyes were alert for any movement as he darted through the headstones. He was trying to escape, dragging me behind him like some giant balloon on a string. He wanted to whisk me away from my men before they could come for me, stealing me away.
The world outside the bubble of power was chaos. I couldn’t see anything past the wall of snow and earth the explosion of power had kicked up. I could sense movement though. My men were looking for me in the ruins of the place I had stood. My heart beseeched them, wanting to let them know that I was OK.
I screamed to them, but it became clear that they could not hear me past Jason’s power when they didn't come for me. As the distance between me and them grew the further Jason moved us, the more the panic in my chest rose. What if they were hurt? What if they needed me? I knew I needed them. I tried to calm myself, taking deep breaths. If I succumbed to the rising panic it would only make things worse.
I tried to focus, pushing my power out from my body. My plan was to push out my power like it was a physical substance, to fill the space that I was entrapped in. I wanted to fill it and push, hopefully creating a crack in Jason's barrier that would allow me to escape. It was not working though. No matter how much power I pushed out from my body it never fully filled the space. It was like the walls of Jason’s power absorbed my power, making the barrier stronger and stronger.
I had to get to my men. Jason may have been determined to take me with him, but I had a responsibility to not leave them behind. They needed me, depended on me for their survival. The thought of what could happen to them if I abandoned them made my throat constrict with rising panic. My stomach turned into knots and it felt like the air in my lungs had froze into sharp edges, slicing me up from the inside. I tried calling out to Jason, and he had turned throw a glance my way, only to turn back around and continue his path of escape, pulling me behind him.
Suddenly a sharp pain ripped through my body and I cried out with the force of it. Jason whirled around at my cry of pain, his eyes searching me for the cause. I saw his eyes widen as he looked at me, fear screaming from his expression, making me glance down at my own body in dread. I saw the splash of red that painted the front of the white dress I wore and it took a moment to take in what it meant. I was bleeding, heavily.
Another wave of excruciating pain crashed through me as he continued to stare at me. I clutched myself, trying to hold myself together, taking slow deep breaths to try and keep from passing out. Jason’s mouth was opening and closing like a fish on dry land gasping for air. His feet slowly started to move again as another bout of pain erupted, eliciting another scream from my throat.
As the pain radiated through me I couldn't help but hold my breath, trying to fight through the pain. I shouldn't have done it because it caused my vision to blur, shooting off star burst behind my eyelids. I was going to pass out if this kept up. I was losing too much blood and the pain was too much to handle. I tried to fight through it, but I knew it was a losing battle.
My thoughts were growing sluggish, but I spared a thought for my two men, my heart thudding thickly with longing for them. As if my thoughts had summoned them they materialized out of the haze of snow and chaos. They held palms up as a sign of peace when Jason tensed, ready to fight them. I held my hand out to them weakly, needing their strength and comfort, my muscles in my body not wanting to cooperate. Jason’s eyes flashed with rage and indecision but he finally nodded stiffly, his mouth in a tight, unhappy line. He turned, leading the way to his escape route. I sighed with relief. They were with me and they were going to be safe.
Before the darkness swallowed me into oblivion, my last thought was that I was glad Jason had been here. I was still full of feelings of anger and betrayal, but I was also feeling the beginnings of hope. Jason would take care of me, take care of us, and I knew that no matter what, he loved me and would do anything it took to become one with me again. I was filled with a sense of peace as my eyes fell shut and my mind fell in to the still, black ocean of unconsciousness.