Unbecoming

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Chapter 4: Victoria

Halloween was coming and I was, for once, not looking forward to it. I had agreed to meet with Christian, and possibly do a ritual together. He was very persistent. I hated that man. He thinks because he helped to release my darkness that I owed him something. I didn’t. I played along though. Doing my best to collect as much information on him as possible. You know the old saying keep your friends close but your enemies closer? I was keeping a close eye on Christian. He was constantly trying to entrap me or trying to steal sips of my energy.

When I catch him, he claims its for teaching purposes, and that he would have freed me. Why would he really want to capture me, he asks. Because he’s a power hungry piece of shit that more than happy trap and kill anyone he thinks might get into his way or might make him stronger. He keeps testing me, as if I would ever let my guard down around him. The slimy bastard. It made me hate him more that he looked like an older version of Jason. Bile rose in my throat, my stomach turning.

I ran to the bathroom, throwing the door open and almost skidding across the floor to make it to the toilet in time. Daemian and Marcus were both in the shower, arms around each other. Normally I would have stopped to admire the view, but right now the only thing that I could think was that I had to make it to the toilet. I made it just in time, and I could feel the guys worried stares.

I hadn’t taken the pregnancy test yet, but it was getting clearer and clearer what it was going to say if I did take it. I flushed the toilet once my stomach was empty of all its contents and went to the sink to wash my hands and brush my teeth. I heard the shower turn off as I was brushing my teeth, and I felt bad that I interrupted them. I liked that they could find comfort in each other and didn’t need me to be a buffer.

I felt ands on my shoulders and I knew who’s they would be before I even looked up. Daemian laid a gentle kiss on the back of my head and smiled at me in the mirror. I smiled weakly back at him, my body feeling wore out.

“Hey, you ok?” Marcus peered at me in the mirror, concern in his eyes.

“Yeah I’m ok, just my stomach rebelling against me.” I leaned back against Daemian’s body, noticing that he was still damp and still very much naked. I wanted to be aroused by that, but for the first time ever, I couldn’t manage to be.

“I know that you don’t really want to, but I think you should take that test, babe.” Daemian said, his voice gentle and trying to not be confrontational. He was right and it was useless to argue the point.

“Ok, let’s just do it now then. Get it done and over with. Even though we know what it’s going to say.” I hung my head, dreading the definite answer that the test was going to give us.

“We don’t know, and that’s why we need the test. That way we can figure out a way forward together. It may be tough, but we can handle it.” Marcus stroked his hand down my back and smiled warmly at me.

“ok, ok. Enough of the pep talk. You guys go get dressed or whatever, and I’ll get this test done.” I tried to be calm on the surface, but inside I was freaking out, and my stomach was doing back flips. I had been putting of finding out for sure, and now I didn’t have a choice.

Marcus was the first out the door and Daemian, turned back and gave me a thumbs up. it made me giggle and that helped some of the tension that was coiling in my stomach. My hands still shook though, when I opened the blue box and took out the test. I wanted to throw up again from nervousness. I unwrapped it and just stared at it for what felt like hours, but I’m sure was only minutes, before I pulled my yoga pants and sat on the toilet.

With the absorbent tip freshly peed on, I put the cap on it and pit it on the back of the toilet, as my breath came out in short, panic filled bursts. I got up and started to pace, sink to tub to shower to sink, making a circuit and avoiding approaching the toilet, afraid of stealing a glance. I must have made the circuit at lets 30 times and I was sure the test was ready. I made my way over to it, my eyes straining, me wanting to see it and not see it at the same time made it hard for me to focus.

My hand reached for the test and snatched it off of the back of the toilet before my eyes say what the results said. And I kept telling my self over and over in my head that no mater what the results were, Daemian and Marcus would not abandon me. I would not be left to do anything alone. I would be fine. There was not reason to panic. NO REASON TO PANIC.

I had to force myself to take slow even breaths, and I waited until my breathing was back to normal before I brought the test up to eye level. It was a digital test, so there was no way to mistake the results. Pregnant. I was pregnant. My vision went blurry and it felt like my world was tilting sideways. The next thing I knew, everything went black.

“Victoria! Come on baby, wake up! WAKE UP!” I heard Marcus’s voice, and I tried to open my eyes, but it felt like I was trapped under layer and layers of heavy quilts, to the point where I couldn’t move any everything was muffled. “Daemian! Call an ambulance! She won’t wake up!” the panic in Marcus’s voice had me worried, and I tried again to open my eyes. I felt them flicker, and I think Marcus saw the movement because he started tapping my cheek, trying to get me to respond. “Come on baby, please wake up.”

“I’m ok, I’m awake.” I slurred as I tried to comfort Marcus. It wasn’t good for him to be so worried. I reached up and stroked his face, and he let out what sounded like a sob of relief.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that ever again! I was about to knock on the door and check on you when I heard a loud thump. And when I came in all I see is you unconscious on the floor, and you wouldn’t wake up.” I had finally managed to open my eyes and look at Marcus. His face was so close to mine, and his eyes that were brimming with tears filled my vision. They were beautiful, like clouds. The shifted from light grey out into darker grey and the outer ring was black as a stormy sky. I could see the turmoil in his eyes, and it made the colors of his eyes swirl and eddy.

“I can’t believe I never noticed that your eyes could swirl like storm clouds, so beautiful.” I was feeling a little dizzy still, and I said the first thing that came to mind, with his face filling my field of vision.

He Jerked his face back from me and looked at the mirror, which I thought was odd. He paled and when he looked back at me, his eyes were solid stormy grey, no swirls, no movement. Had I imagined it? Was it just because I had fainted? No, it couldn’t have been. What was the significance of his eyes, and why did he pale like that?

“Did you just glamour your eyes?” I asked, my voice heavy with confusion and suspicion.

“I think you might have hit your head Victoria, maybe we should take you to see the doctor.” He was trying to make it seem like it was in my head. I didn’t want to let it go, but I said nothing, letting him think that I wasn’t going to push. His mention of the doctor made me think about the test and its results, the whole reason I had fainted in the first place. I went a little light headed again and had to still my body to keep from toppling over.

“I am going to need to see the doctor anyway. I’m Pregnant.” I sat up and pushed away from Marcus, but he was not having it, and he pulled me into a tight hug. He was warm and it made me feel a little better. He was feeding me some of his energy, and it felt different than normal. I pulled back and looked at him. Really looked at him. He was hiding something, and it had slipped in his panic over me. I squinted my eyes and that’s when I saw it. There was a glimmer of what looked like a veil on his face.

“Don’t Victoria, we have so much going on already, please don’t push.” He knew I saw it, and he knew me well enough to know that I wasn’t going to leave it at that.

“What are you hiding from me? I can see the veil, just not what’s underneath it. What could be so bad that you need to hide it from me like this?” I pushed a little with my power, and I felt the veil start to crumble a little around the edges.

“I can’t tell you.” Marcus was not fighting me, and the look on his face said he wanted desperately to tell me, but before I could push at him further, Daemian swooped in and was on his knees and pulling me into his arms.

“Are you ok? What happened? I thought you were just taking the test?” He pulled back from me and was searching my face, anxiety splashed across his face like red paint.

“I did take the test. I fainted. Its not a big deal.” I tried to stand on my own but Daemian stood and pulled me up with him.

“What did it say?” Daemian’s eyes were lit up and I resented him a little in that moment. He was excited at the prospect of me having a baby. I was apprehensive. Having a baby was going to change so many things about my life, and I was going to have to make a lot of hard decisions. I wasn’t ready. I think Daemian saw the emotions that were filling me spill out from my eyes, because his look of excitement wilted. I resented him even more because I felt guilty that I made him look like that.

“It says pregnant.” I looked down and away from Daemian, towards Marcus. His eyes were still, but the veil was still visible. I wanted to get him alone and push at him with my power again. I needed to know what he was hiding.

Daemian hugged me, I think as a way to hide his face, and I was glad I wasn’t able to see it. Marcus looked like a deer trapped in the high-beams of my gaze, as he slowly stood up, coming up beside us to hug me and Daemian. Our eyes were locked, and I raised my eyebrow at him, he knew what I was thinking, and he nodded slightly to let me know that he knew.

“hey Daemian,” I said, pulling back and giving him my best puppy eyes, “can you run to the store for me and get some chocolate chip cookies and onion garlic chips? Pretty please?”

“Uh, sure,” he said with a confused laugh. “Marc, you want to come with me?”

“Not this time, I want to keep an eye on mama,” He leaned in an gave me a kiss on the side of my head. “wouldn’t be good if she fainted again and she was alone.”

“Good point, I’ll be back soon then.” Daemian leaned in and kissed my lips, lingering and sweet. I let my eyes fall closed as I let my self bask in the softness that was Daemian’s plush lips. He chuckled at me when I pulled him back in just so I could feel their softness a little longer.

I followed Daemian out to the living room and to the front door. It clicked closed behind him, the wards of the apartment sealing us off from the outside world. I turned and my eyes landed on Marcus. He stood in the living room, arms limp at his sides, and he watched me. I walk slowly towards him, letting my power leak out and fill the room, thin, finger-like tendrils flickered out to touch the veil that cover Marcus.

With every stroke of my power it became more and more brittle. Marcus wasn’t trying to keep it in place, but he was not letting it down willingly. It annoyed me a little, and my power snapped out like a whip, with more force than I had meant for it to, and it shattered the veil that Marcus had been hiding behind.

My eyes almost bugged out of my head in shock. His eyes were suddenly the swirling depths of a cloud filled stormy sky, and his skin looked like it was glittering, flecks of silver and gold flashing as I moved towards him. My mind was blank, no coherent thoughts being able to take form in the wake of what I was seeing. He looked ethereal. Like a fairy tale creature that you would meet somewhere in a flower strewn meadow.

My mind locked onto a thought, and the realization made my knees buckle. Marcus rushed forward, caught me just before my knees struck the rug. My hands came up to clutch his face as he stood us back up straight, and I stared deep into his eyes. I saw a bolt of lightning flash through his eyes and pushed back from him. I gaped. I couldn’t help it.

“What the fuck Marcus?” I almost shouted it at him, and he winced. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what, Victoria?” he asked, a look that I couldn’t read on his face. It was like a mix of guilt and amusement. In some weird way he was enjoying my reaction, and that pissed me off a little.

“You know exactly what. What the hell is going on?” I backed up from him and folded my arms over my chest. I needed answer.

“You have to say it first, Vic. I can not tell you anything until you say what you are thinking first. I don’t know what I’d be admitting to.” Marcus grinned at me, and I kind of wanted to wipe it off of him with my fist. I took a deep breath instead. Marcus was my lover. I loved him. I wasn’t in any danger from him. So everything was going to be ok.

“You are Fae. A High court Fae.” As the words left my mouth I felt something stir inside my mind. Something that felt like it might have been a memory, but it was too faded for me to make any sense of it. The look of relief that flooded Marcus’s face was almost painful to see.

“Finally! Yes! I’m Fae. High court unseelie Fae, for be exact.” I knew I looked stupid with my mouth hanging open the way it was, but I was just too shocked that I was right to be able to say anything right away. My lover was Fae. And I figured it out.

“Does Daemian know?” I asked, preparing to be mad at Daemian. If he had known and he never said anything to me I was going to chew him a new ass.

“No, he does not. It’s against Fae law to tell people who don’t know that we’re Fae, they have to discover it on their own, and the Fae in question can disclose information if they see fit at that time. Daemian has never seen through my glamour.” Marcus shrugged and sat on the couch, motioning for me to join him. The clouds outside the window seemed to match the swirling in Marcus’s eyes and it was mesmerizing. I made my way over to the couch and sat gingerly. Marcus was Fae, and I was having a hard time processing that information.

“So, you can’t tell Daemian, but can I?” I looked at him, and his expression was so strange. He was grinning from ear to ear, and he looked like he was dying to say something.

“No, you can’t tell Daemian about me being Fae,” his leg was starting to bounce, and he was looking at me expectantly.

“Why not? I know you can’t but what’s to stop me?” I was confused and Marcus looked like he was about to bust a gut.

“It’s Fae law that we cant just tell people about us,” he was starting at me with his eyes wide as hell and he was motioning with his hands as if to say keep going but I had no idea what the hell he was trying to say. He wanted me to figure something else, but I was not sure what I was supposed to be figuring out. “Fae law says that a FAE cannot tell anyone who isn’t a part of the Fae community about being FAE,” he repeated, his eyes wide, “Do you understand why YOU can’t tell anyone?” The realization hit me like a tone of bricks to my chest, and I couldn’t breathe.

“I’m Fae, so I can’t tell Daemian.” It came out as a whisper. Marcus threw his hands up and fell back against the couch as if to say ‘finally!’ my brain felt like it was going to implode, “HOW THE FUCK AM I FAE AND I DIDN’T KNOW??” I screamed.

“Your father was Fae, the high prince of the unseelie court, and he left the court for your mother, renounced the throne and gave up his immortality so that he could marry her.” Marcus looked at me like a ten ton weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and I felt like it had been placed on mine.

“Does my mom know? Why didn’t he tell me this?” I was so confused, and it made me question everything about myself. Who the hell was I? Was I even mortal? What did it meant to be half Fae and half human? My father was unseelie, so that means dark. So I really was meant to be dark all along.

“No, your mother never knew or I’m sure she would have told you. I wanted to tell you from the moment that we met but I was under orders from both my queen and Christian and had no way of really telling you. I admired you, as I watched you try to fight against you baser instincts, and that made me want to get closer to you. I came to you because I was ordered to, but I stayed with you all this time because I wanted to.” Marcus was looking at me intently, knowing what I was thinking, and I loved him all the more for trying to assuage my worries. I knew that he had been ordered to my side by Christian, but I had forgiven him for that. Christian wasn’t just dark, he was evil, and if Marcus would have denied him, who knows what Christian would have done.

“It’s ok. I know that the way we came to know each other was out of the norm, but I know you stayed with me because you wanted to. I’m glad that you wanted to.” I smiled at him and cuddled close to him. as I snuggled close to him, Marcus snaked his hands around me and lifted, pulling me against his chest and having me straddle his lap.

He pulled me close and our bodies were pressed snuggly together, and my core pressed firmly against is front, which was still soft, but I could feel it stirring. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my chest against his, my eyes locking onto his stormy eyes. I saw another bolt of lightning and it was like it had gone through me, hitting all my nerves and setting them on fire. I smiled devilishly at him, and his lips curved to match my grin. I rotated my hips against him, grinding the heat of my core against his body, causing it to thump and pulse against me. I leaned over Marcus’s mouth, hovering there, our lips a breath away from touching, but not touching yet, as I rotated my hips again, pressing even harder against him. I flicked my tongue out to caress along his lower lip, but still not sealing my mouth against his, our pants of excited breath intermingling and warming my face.

I slipped my hand between us to grip the waistband of the shorts Marcus wore, and tugged it slowly down, leaning my hips back to allow his length to escape the prison of his clothing, one delightful inch at a time. Marcus was straining to keep his hips still as I freed him, but I could tell he was struggling, and I liked it. I loved how eager he was for me, and it made thing low in my body clench and throb with passion.

One his body had sprang loose from the confines of his clothing, Marcus closed the distance between our mouths, his tongue slipping and pressing against mine, filling my mouth with the taste of him. He was like fresh spring rain and that smell of ozone when lightning struck. It was unlike anything that I had ever experienced from him before and it made my passion pool thickly between my legs. The desire to have him buried to the hilt within me was so strong that my body shuddered with the need. Marcus must have felt the same urgency because instead of letting me stand up and pull my pants off, he gripped the seam between my legs and yanked, tearing through them like they were made of paper.

The strength in his arms and the jolt of movement was jarring, and the sudden cool air that caressed my most sensitive exposed flesh made a deep moan slip from my lips. Marcus ate the sound out of my mouth as he deepened the kiss even further, starching our mouths wide so he could suck my tongue into his mouth. He pulled back from the kiss slowly, as his hands on my his was making my wetness rub against his length with out him entering me. Even that little touch was making me quiver with my need, my breath going out in short pants.

“I’m going to drop my full glamour and fuck you like a real Fae, Victoria,” Marcus whispered against my lips. I watched as his hair darkened to a black so dark it didn’t even reflect the light, and his skin started to shimmer, as if he dipped his entire body in silver pearlescent powder. His hair lengthened and pooled out behind him, overflowing to the couch cushions next to us.

“You’re so beauti-” I started to say, but before I could finish the words, Marcus had lifted me by my hips and had slammed him self deep inside of me. I groaned at the sudden invasion, feeling my inner walls spasm, trying to get accustom to the length and thickness that it was forced to take. It knocked the breath from my lungs, and I struggled through the immense pleasure that was filling me. I was making a high pitched whining sound that I hadn’t noticed I was making until Marcus silenced me with his mouth against mine, plunging his tongue deep into my mouth.

My senses were in overload already, and I cried out into Marcus’s mouth as he started to move, flexing his hips as he gripped mine like they had handles, using his grip to lift me and slam me back down, forcing my body to swallow his entire length. I felt so full, but I wanted more, and I clenched him with my inner walls tightening around him as I panted from the sensations. Marcus growled low and it vibrated against my chest, giving me goosebumps.

I felt that heavy sensation start to build between my legs with each thrust, the tip of Marcus’s thick length was hitting the perfect spot deep within me and it was a jolt of pleasure pain. I couldn’t help trying to help Marcus as he thrust into me, grinding my hips against him, the sensitive bundle of nerves that resided between my legs rubbed firmly against Marcus body each time he slammed me down onto his lap.

“I’m so close Marcus,” I whimpered. I was gripping his shoulders like my life depended on it, and every where my skin touched his felt like it was on fire. I opened my eyes to look down the lines of our bodies, wanting to see Marcus’s body pushing against and filling mine.

I watched as my wetness glinted off of the velvet coted steel of Marcus’s body and the way it slammed into me, disappearing deep within my body, and the way my opening gripped and clenched at the base of him. My orgasm hit me like a tidal wave, sucking me deep into the depths of my pleasure as wave after wave crashed over me. I screamed my orgasm, and felt my power slip my skin, filling the room with bolts of lightning. They crackled and sparked, creating a light show withing the apartment like fireworks. Marcus cried out seconds after I did, his body spilling his climax into my body like liquid fire, and even that cause my body to continue pulsating with my orgasm.

As my orgasm subsided, I noticed another light that was shining throughout the room. It was coming from me, from my skin. It glowed from within the same way my hand would have glowed if I had pressed a high powered flashlight against it. Was this what Marcus meant when he said he would fuck me like a real Fae?

“Your glow is so beautiful, Victoria. It brings me so much pleasure to be the one who brought it out of you.” Marcus hugged me close, pressing his face against my chest. I hugged him to me, not sure how I felt about this new development, but I didn’t want to upset Marcus with my fears, so I stayed silent.

I heard the door lock, and felt the wards shift, as Daemian, came into the house. I didn’t know what to do but Marcus helped me, throwing a glamour over us both quickly. From what I could tell my skin was still glowing, and I didn’t know how to make it stop. Daemian took it the sight of us on the couch, the last little bits of my firework show fizzling out above our heads. My breath still hadn’t returned to normal, and Marcus was still hard as a rock within me.

“I hope you aren’t too tired,” Daemian said as he dropped the bags of food in the kitchen. Before I could ask him what he meant, he stalked towards us, slipping out of his jacket and whipping his shirt off over his head. He reached us, and his hand flashed out, gripping my hair and yanking my head back so that he could claim my lips with his. I felt Marcus flex his hips, causing his body to rotate and caress my inner walls. I moaned into Daemian’s mouth and reached for him, gripping his shoulder, my nails digging into his skin.

I didn’t have any time to think about the recent self-discoveries or to really reflect on the situation before Daemian picked me up off Marcus’s lap, carrying me off to the bedroom with Marcus following close behind. All I could think about was the feeling of their flesh against mine as they filled me over and over again with pleasure and love.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I woke to a dark room, the sun already having set, abandoning us to the darkness of night. My skin was not glowing so either it had stopped on it’s own or, Marcus was still holding the glamour even as he slept. I didn’t want to wake the boys, so I slid stealthily out of the bed, making a beeline to the bathroom. I needed a shower and then food. After having slept a good portion of the day, I still hadn’t eaten anything, and my stomach was yelling at me for it.

I turned the shower on as hot as I could stand it and then just stood under it for a few moments, letting the how waster and steam loosen my muscles, and doing my best to keep my mind blank. It was not working. Marcus was Fae. I was Fae. It was something so simple but also so complicated to understand. It made sense though, and it made me feel like a complete moron for not realizing it sooner. I was Fae royalty. My father had been a prince, and not just a prince, but the next in line for the throne. Did that mean with my father dead that I was next in line? There had to be someone else. I knew nothing of Fae culture, let alone court politics.

I thought about my mom as I added shampoo to my hair, wondering if she knew about my dad or not. My mother was like a lake, she looked calm on the surface, but the waters were dark and mysterious, and you never knew how deep it was or what kind of secrets it may have contained. I couldn’t fathom a reason my mom would not have told me if she had known. Maybe it was because unseelie Fae are supposed to be dark creatures, and my mother was a solid believer of the light and everything that the light stood for.

I rinse my hair and started to add conditioner, leaving it in to soak into my hair. My mom and dad had a very intense relationship, and I felt proud of the immense courage it must have taken for my father to be with my mother. He left everyone he had ever known to be with her. He left behind his family and a throne, to be with my mother. I meant it when I told my mom that if there was ever a mated pair in this life time it had been her and my father.

My heart felt heavy as I thought about my father. By giving up his immortality he had opened himself up to sickness. I missed him, and I wished that he were still here so I could share this with him. His blood in my veins is what had decided my fate. I had always been fated to be dark, but because I had no knowledge of my father’s family, I had just followed the path of least resistance and followed my mother into the light. Even after I had tasted the darkness I still followed my mom back into the light even though it chaffed.

I had soaped up and was rinsing when it dawned on me that I could and should try to contact the unseelie court. Would they welcome a half breed like me? Or would they assume that I was weak and try to prey on me. A dark kernel of my heart hoped that they would try, it would please me to be able to crush a few people. I felt a dark chuckle creep out of my throat, and it startled me. Sometimes I forgot that it was ok for me to allow my dark urges out. I shook my head and decided not to be too worried about the

I climbed out of the shower and dried off, wrapping my hair up into a towel so it could dry a little. Slipping on my robe that was hung up on the back of the bathroom door, I crept out of the bathroom and out of my room to the living room and kitchen area. I saw the bags of snacks that Daemian had dropped when he had some in and my stomach rumbled at me, reminding me once again that I was starving and needed to feed me and my passenger. The tiles were cold against my feet as I padded barefoot over to the bags and snatched them up.

Jason pops into my mind as I thought about the pregnancy. There was a really good possibility that Jason was the father, and I felt my heart thud thickly in my chest. I was really confused about how I felt about Jason, and the absolute fact that he was the other have of my Pair. I wanted to hate him, but the way the power that connected us was designed, I didn’t think that I could truly hate him. Christian pops into my head then, as I was thinking about his son, and my stomach turned sour. That man is the reason people feared and loathed the darkness.

I was Dark. I was comfortable in the blood and dirt and shadows, it felt like home. Christian was not dark, but truly evil. He was happy selling off pieces of his soul for power, and was willing to reach out to, use, and absorb forces that only want to see the end of all life. I hated that man, and I despised the way his power felt like tar as it combines with mine to do big castings. We managed to summon spirits of long past dead and have created many castings together, but he was always trying to claim me, and my power, that we have not done much more than that. He never succeeded in much more that siphoning the tiniest pieces of my power, before I shut him down. It infuriated him that he was never able to get more and that I was able to shut him out, no matter how hard he tried.

I shook my head, not wanting to think about Christian, and decided to focus on the food that I had duped out onto the counter from the bags. Daemian was a doll. He got me so many snacks that I wanted to cry from the sweetness of it. I sat on one of the stools and was about to dig into some powered donuts when someone pounded on my apartment door like they were going to bust it down. My heart was instantly in my throat and I almost screamed. I slid off the stool and crept closer to the door, clutching the bag of donuts to my chest like it was a shield.

Just as I was grabbing the door handle to open the door, the person on the other side pounded again, and I jumped, dropping my donuts. That pissed me off. I scooped them up and threw open the door, ready to cuss out who ever it was. My words froze in my throat as I took in one of the most beautiful women that I have ever met, dressed to kill, standing in my doorway and looking pissed.

“It’s about damn time you figured your shit out, bitch, I fucking missed you.” Tears sprung to my eyes as Margo stormed through my wards like they weren’t even there and pulled me into a hug.

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