“I figured you died and since I told you it was a terrible idea, I left you to fend for yourself,” Liam informed me when I rolled in the morning after.
My entire body just ached.
I blanched. “I’m your best friend! How could you do that?”
He rolled his eyes. “You were off getting laid. You can’t be mad.”
“What if he had tried to kill me?”
“Then I’ll say ‘I told you so,’” he says easily. “How was it?”
“You want the details?” I teased, giving him a pointed look.
He pretends to gag. “No details. Especially not about Professor Castien.”
“Please,” I smirked. “Castien’s dick could turn you gay.”
He covered his ears, cringing. “Not cool. And gross.”
“It was...unreal.” That was the only way I could describe it. Not just the shockingly mind-blowing sex part, but how down-to-earth Castien was when he wasn’t glaring or scowling at you.
“Unreal?” Liam repeats.
“Yeah.” It was nice to know that Castien was still human. And that he had more than one facial expression. It had been so out of the ordinary to see him so unguarded. For some reason, that made me feel warm and happy.
“You still like him,” he said flatly. “Of course you do.”
I sighed. “No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do. I can tell by that dumbass smile you have on your face.”
I really couldn’t help it. I was pretty much walking on cloud nine at this point. “Well, it’s not because I like him.”
He gave me a very doubtful look. “Right.”
“It’s not,” I said defensively. I knew much better than to start catching feelings for him, especially while we were doing this.
I was so sore in every possible way. I collapsed onto my bed, making a noise of defeat. “Your walk of shame has to end soon,” Liam reminded me. “You have to go to class.”
“No,” I groaned. “No.”
“Yes,” he insisted, sitting down on the bed next to him. “Go shower and get ready. You’ll feel better.”
“No, I won’t.”
It occurred to me that I had his class today. I really didn’t know how to feel about that. “Go,” Liam said, poking me.
I made another groan, hauling myself off of the bed. “Fine.”
I forced myself into the shower and get changed. I was supposed to sit through a lecture feeling every damn thing that Castien had done to me the night before. The idea of that was both a turn-on and the worst damn thing that I could think of. “Stop making noises,” Liam said dryly, pushing me ahead.
I laughed softly. “Sorry.”
“Can you just please tell me that you won’t get your heart broken by someone who doesn’t even have a heart?”
“He has a heart,” I mutter. I could believe that now. This morning he had asked me if I was scared of him. And well...no. There was no tangible reason for me to be. Especially not after he had let me fall asleep in his lap last night. That didn’t mean he wasn’t scary. Just that I didn’t feel scared.
For some unknown reason, it had bothered me so much that since I stepped foot in his house, he had been so sure that I would regret ‘letting him do anything to me.’ Like he was going to kill me or something. And if I wasn’t mistaken, the morning after he looked almost...guilty. Sure last night was not conventional and it hurt like a bitch. But hell, I wanted to do it again. And it wasn’t like he didn’t give me a choice.
I had been right. He was interesting. I remembered his tattoos. And entire sleave climbing all the way up to his shoulder and blossoming across his pecs. How beautifully asymmetric it had been. I wanted to ask about them. Maybe I would. Sometime. And for some reason, I had never imagined him cooking. It was weird seeing him behind a stove. Hot, but weird.
And well, last night had been so amazing. It was not something I ever thought I could enjoy so much. Submitting. Just being...controlled. Forced, almost. It was like a trust fall. You don’t know what could happen and yet you do it. Aside from the initial shock and rush of confusing sensations and of course the absolute white-hot sharp jab of pain, it had me weak just thinking about it. He didn’t even touch me and I had one of the most powerful orgasms of my life.
I inhale a deep breath, walking next to Liam down the corridors to our classes. “I think I have a problem,” I mutter.
“What?” he asks.
“Like...I’m...” I think the word I was looking for is kinky and yet that sounded off. It was definitely more than just kinky. “Nevermind.”
Liam looked at bit concerned, but he didn’t push it.
I didn’t have a lot of classes today, but by the time I stepped into Professor Castien’s classroom, I was a knot of nervous energy. And as soon as I saw him, I could start to feel my heart start to pulse, rapidly beating faster. Then he looked at, his dark eyes piercing me in a stare.
I ducked my head, moving to take a seat at the back of the lecture hall. Liam sat down next to me, shooting me a worried look. I was suddenly reminded of the dull, pained ache in my lower back. “He’s staring at you,” Liam informs me.
My eyes widened and I carefully looked back up. He wasn’t glaring at me, but yes, he was looking directly at me. When I met his eyes, he looked away, lip curling with distaste. Honestly, I had no idea if that was a good or a bad thing. “There,” I mutter. “Problem solved.”
“You’re across the room and the sexual tension is strong,” he mutters. He tilted his head to the side, lips curved down. “Why do you like him? He’s not even...attractive.”
I choked. “Do you have eyes?”
He did have eyes and he rolled them very blatantly at me. “He’s handsome,” I murmured.
“Sure,” he deadpanned. “You don’t like him.”
I sighed, ignoring the truth to that statement. I shifted uncomfortably multiple times throughout the lecture, the weight of all the marks he had left on me a reminder of what I did.
Was it wrong that it was so arousing to have your control ripped away? It felt wrong and twisted to be thinking of such things. It was wrong and twisted to have enjoyed that so much. But fuck, it didn’t matter. I wanted him to do it to me again. I wanted him to make me regret it.
By the time the class was over, my breathing was a bit shallow from my racing thoughts. I kept my head lowered as I followed the students milling out of the classroom, hoping that the flush on my face wasn’t obvious.
I had been imagining all the naughty things that I wanted Professor Castien to do to me, right in the middle of his class. Hell, some of them had been about him fucking me, right in the middle of class, with everyone watching. I bit my lip, the thought sending a rush of blood straight to my core. At some points during the lecture, I could feel his eyes burning on me. Those intense fucking stares of his did weird things to me. Like he was eyeing a piece of meat, ready to devour me whole. I wanted to feel his hands on me again, demanding, controlling, dominating me. I wanted him to pin me down against the nearest wall and fuck me until I couldn’t talk.
A cold hand wrapped around my wrist pulling me back right before I could escape. I was so close to freedom, but fuck. I felt myself being slammed against a hard chest as the door to the lecture hall closed shut.
I gasped, my back pressed against Castien’s torso. Had he really seen right through me? He pressed me against him firmly, his grip on my wrist tight. I swallowed and I felt his lips brush the outer shell of my ear. “What were you thinking?” he said, his voice low and raspy.
I shivered, whimpering. Was I supposed to tell him what I was thinking? I couldn’t do that. I didn’t even think I could say it out loud.
“What were you thinking during my lecture?” he specifies. There was a cynical growl to his tone and I couldn’t see his face but I could tell he was smirking. Because he knew what I had been thinking. Was I that obvious?
“Nothing,” I answered in a bare whisper.
“Don’t lie to me,” he demanded his grip on his wrist tightening threateningly. He could tell I was lying.
I scanned the room nervously, but we were alone. The entire hall had already been emptied. Then I shot a glance at the door. Anyone could walk in. They’d have no reason to. It was getting late in the day for students to be hanging around the halls, but still, they could walk in. Or I could run. And just avoid the embarrassment of having to tell Castien what was on his mind.
“Go ahead,” he murmured. I realized I had been staring at the door. “I won’t stop you.”
I got the sense that he wasn’t lying. If I chose to leave, I always could. But if I chose to stay...
“I wasn’t thinking anything,” I lied again.
His free hand slid down my front and cupped my growing hard-on over my jeans and gave it a firm squeeze. I whined pitifully. “Do you think I missed how much you were flushing and squirming in your seat? Thinking dirty thoughts?” Fuck, I didn’t think that he could get any hotter.
“No,” I protested. The fact that I was so obvious made my face heat up, but the fact that he had been watching me only made me harder.
“Then?” he demanded.
“What?” I said again, a soft panic rising in my throat.
“Tell me,” he commanded. I feel his teeth brush against my earlobe. It sent sparks flying across. my skin and my heart somersaulted, pounding heavily in my chest. It felt like a warning.
“T-tell you?” I repeated. Oh, fuck. He wasn’t actually planning on making me tell him everything, was he? My face burned at the thought alone.
“Tell me exactly what you were thinking about that made you hard?” he murmured.
I felt like the moment he touched me again, I was going to burst into flames. His words were so compelling to me and yet. “I...I can’t,” I said weakly.
He growled, the sound making me tremble ever so slightly in his grasp. “Can’t?” he drawls, the implication flat in his voice. There was no can’t with him.
“No,” I whispered.
“Why?” he said, this time more teasingly as if he knew already exactly what I was fantasizing about. “What were you imagining?”
I imagined his long, hard cock, tearing my insides open again and I broke. “It’s wrong,” I breathed out. Because fuck yeah, it was wrong. To my knowledge, Castien was 15 years older than me. He was my professor. And I had willing got on knees and begged for him. And then he had fucked me raw. And now I wanted it again. I craved it. “I...I want you to fuck me again,” I whimpered.
To my surprise, Castien chuckled darkly against my skin. It was a taunting laugh. “Do you?”
“Yes, sir,” I whispered.
“Aren’t you sore?” he drawls huskily. “Do you want it to hurt even more?”
I held my tongue. I was still sore. The thought of getting fucked by him yet again, so soon after nearly made my crumple to my knees again. “Yes, sir.”
“How?” My breathing stopped. “How do you want to be fucked?” He enunciated his last word, letting it roll off his tongue in a sinful manner.
I wet my lips. “I-I want...I want you to pin me down and force me to take your cock.”
He groaned. “And?”
Humiliation ran down my spine but that seemed to spur me on. I swallowed thickly. “Make me cry, professor,” I whispered.
“You want me to make you squirm and beg, don’t you?” he murmured into my ear.
“Yes, sir,” I moaned. “Please.”
“But you lied to me,” he warned.
I wet my lips. “I’m sorry, professor.”
“You won’t do it again.” It wasn’t a command. It was a statement of fact.
The words were right at the tip of my tongue. I could just agree and be on my way. “And if I do?” My voice was small, but it had the effect.
Castien growled, glaring at me. I swallowed, anticipating what would come next. Without another wasted second, he yanked me by the wrist, dragging me out of the room.
My eyes widened and I scrambled to keep up with his pace. He was my last class of the day and the sky was starting to darken by the time we stepped outside. There were still students in the corridors and out on the parking lot who gaped as Castien led me to his car.
He really just did whatever the fuck he wanted. “Get in,” he said flatly.
I obliged, getting into the passenger’s side. I peeked at him, trying to determine what exactly he was feeling right now. “Seatbelt,” he reminds me, looking irritated.
I hid a smile, buckling the seatbelt into the slot. After a few seconds, I whispered. “Are you going to try and make me regret that too?”
He glared at me, eyes narrowing. “Shut up,” he mutters. He wasn’t going to try. He was just going to do it.
About two hours later, I was pretty much dead.
My body screamed at me to stop making stupid decisions. I could feel the familiar throb throughout my limbs, the heavy set echo of what had just happened. True to my pleas, I cried, I squirmed, I begged, and I was fucked until I was shaking and incoherent.
“Fuck,” I muttered, wincing.
Castien rose a brow at me, his breathing nowhere near as labored as mine, but still uneven. “What?”
“I have class tomorrow,” I groaned, burying my face into the pillow.
His expression barely shifts but the corner of his mouth lifts. “Good luck with that.”
I highly doubted I would be able to walk properly tomorrow, much less focus on anything other than the deep ache that was settling inside me. Carefully, I moved to wrap my arms around his neck. He stiffened but he doesn’t stop me as I buried my face in the crook of his neck and closed my eyes.
I inhaled his scent, wrapping it around me and that alone made me bite back a moan. “It’s all your fault,” I mumbled.
He doesn’t respond. Instead, he ran a soothing hand through my hair, gently petting me. For a second I thought I was imaging things. “What are you doing?” I ask quietly, looking up.
He gives me an annoyed look a. “I’ll stop.”
“No,” I said, pouting. “Don’t.”
He pushed my head back down and continued stroking my hair. I smiled, his fingers tugging softly through my hair. It wasn’t affectionate, but it was something.
The few weeks we fell into a sort of rhythm. My grade floated steadily at a C, which was quite the step up actually but it was also a small, painful reminder that this wasn’t permanent. Despite that, I was learning new ways to piss him off every day. It was fun.
I mean I wasn’t getting my money’s worth out of my apartment, considering that I spent most nights here, but still.
I didn’t need the intimate part that came after sex. I craved it sure, but that was pretty normal. And yet, to my shock on many occasions, Castien didn’t seem to mind when I crawled into his lap and put my arms around him. He seemed irritated for a bit, but it never lasted long.
On this particular day though, I saw something.
I was seeing things because... My hands reached out of the blue and grabbed his head, yanking it to the side. Castien grunts, grasping my wrists and pulling them away from him with a sharp tug. He scowled at me waiting for me to elaborate.
No, I had seen it. “That’s so, so gay,” I muttered in disbelief. He continued scowling, waiting. “You...you have your ears pierced?”
This time, he blinks slowly before letting go of my hands. Then, he ignored me, going back to doing whatever he was doing on his computer. Currently, he was being Professor Castien and I was sitting in his lap, watching him work.
“But how have I never noticed?” I mutter again, trying to wrap my mind around the idea.
It was like peeling off layers of an onion. I was discovering more and more shocking things about him and they were really starting to stack up.
“This only works if you keep your mouth shut,” he snapped, clearly exasperated.
I smiled. Another thing I had learned. He totally had a soft spot for me. He tolerated me so much more then I would’ve expected from the way he acted towards me before. He wasn’t nice to me by any means. I was still called stupid and annoying on a daily basis.
“Sorry, sir,” I mumbled softly, tucking my head under his chin.
His eyes narrowed slightly and I could see some resolve breaking. The word ‘sir’ had become more of an endearment at this point and it seemed to have this effect on him whenever I used it. Which, of course, I was taking full advantage of.
Liam had been right. I still liked him. But that wasn’t my fault. You can’t take someone’s crush on someone else, put it through mind-blowing sex, and expect them to stop liking them. It’s like trying to put drugs in a brownie and expecting them to turn out worse.
It was odd though. He seemed to radiate an energy that demanded fear and respect. It was a hard thing to get around even having spent so much idle time in his presence. Intimidating was probably the more fit word for it, however, every time I thought about it it just seemed scary. Like a wall that tried to kill you every time you tried to get past it.
Maybe I needed to get some new metaphors.
I shifted ever so slightly, squirming on his lap. I was wearing one of his shirts, as mine had actually ended up completely torn. Actually ripped open. It was a whole thing. I was well aware that I was pushing my barely covered ass over the clothed skin of his crotch, teasing him. Castien growled, grabbing my hips and pinning them in place so I couldn’t move. I stare innocently up at him and he glared right back. “What’s wrong, professor?”
He lifted me off of him, pushing me onto his desk, my hips slamming into the edge of the table. I whimpered, my skin pressing flesh against the cold, hardwood of the tabletop surface.
I totally had it coming. For a second, I thought he would prep me for this, but he rarely bothered with foreplay, especially considering we had already fucked just hours earlier. Before I could even contemplate why the fuck he kept lube in his study, he was inside me.
I gasped quietly, feeling his length slip inside me. As he fucked me, his hand pressed down between my shoulder blades effectively pinning me in place and also bruising my ribs against the wood. I hardly struggled as he slammed himself aggressively into me.
Within about ten minutes, I was a moaning, trembling mess on his desk, struggling to hold myself up with my legs. I felt the dull, aching throb that I was already going to feel tomorrow, intensify.
Castien’s hands pulled me back into his lap and he gripped my face, forcing my chin up to meet his eyes. “Are you going to sit still and stay quiet now?”
I whined, his fingers digging into my skin and I nodded. “Yes, sir.”
He lets me go and dutifully, I sat silently, content to just sit with him. It was soothing to be here, touching him. Not sexually, per se but it was like strangely intimate and close to be allowed by him to be so...cuddly? I seriously wondered why he let me get away with what I did when it came to touching him. I mean, he was super strict and stiff as a professor. Was he secretly soft? It hadn’t taken any convincing the first time I did it. He seemed to be in a much more gentle mood after we had sex. For reasons, I couldn’t decipher. I leaned my head back on his shoulder.
It was starting to get late and I was falling asleep.