31 | Sharing Pain
*Warning - Contains triggering content regarding bullying*
I stare up at the starry sky, placing the palms of my hand flat against the thin concrete railing. The stunning visuals of the moonlight that was reflected against the surface of the lake almost reminding me of the painting inside Blaze’s study.
I clutch Blaze's white shirt tighter around my body to protect it from the cool breeze of midnight. The stars twinkled and glowed bright and for a moment I wondered, how it would feel to lie down against the plush furry carpet that cocooned my feet in its warmth.
The gentle breeze blew the strands of my messy hair away from my face with a faint smell of moss hinted at the promise of rain soon. Within a few seconds, the earthy smell gets replaced with the fresh smell of after wash that has been lately reeking off me due to a certain someone.
I smile as soon as his arms circle around me, enveloping me in his warmth and I slightly tilt my head to see him looking down at me with an unreadable emotion on his face.
Oh lord! Why does he have to be so fucking attractive?
“Do you have any clue on how lovely you look right now?” He asks with wonder whilst tracing his fingers on top of my bottom lip.
I decide to tease him and with a mischievous gleam in my eyes, I bit my lip and shake my head. His eyes darken to the point where they look like two shiny sapphire gems filled with desire.
Suddenly I don’t know what urges me to do this but like I said, once a thought crosses my mind, it doesn’t take its leave so easily.
“Do you want to know why I hate Emily?” I ask him and watch him frown with surprise upon registering my question in his head.
He slowly nods and asks, “Are you ready to tell me what happened?”
I pull myself away from him and take a deep long breath to gain my composure before sitting down on a grey outdoor lounge chair that was placed on the balcony.
I twiddle my thumbs nervously as I watch him sink on the black L-shaped couch opposite where I was sitting.
“Go on” He speaks with a domineering edge and I find myself telling him everything except that incident.
“Emily, Natalie, and I used to be friends since the time we were kids. I used to be a bit different from them. If you want me to be honest, I wasn’t a spoilt brat like them. Despite my parents being so loving and not-so-strict to me, I was always scared of facing disapproval from them.
"Then there’s Nate. I always used to like him since I was a kid. I never looked at him like one would look at their brother and he was everything I wanted back then. Emily at first tried pretending that she never knew about my massive crush on Nate but on the inside, she used to feed lies about me to Nate.
"Sometimes I find myself wondering, what on earth made her turn so bitter towards me? Then Noah came along. We always hung out together and he never really liked Emily. Since that time, she started showing her true self and we drifted apart. As Noah and I were really close, everyone assumed that we were dating but we never really clarified them, now that I think of it, maybe that was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.
“Just a few days before senior year was about to start, me, Emily, Natalie, and a few more girls decided to join a frat party where we met Ashton. From what I remember, he attended NYU and his brother was the one who threw the party that night. Apparently, Emily had a huge crush on Ashton and wanted him to notice her after Noah constantly avoided her. But unfortunately, in a game of truth or dare, Ashton ended up with a dare to kiss me and we did. The last thing I remember about that night was, Emily, storming out of the place enraged, and the next day boom! Everyone in our school was badmouthing about me.”
I pause for a few seconds to drag a lungful of air and watch Blaze from underneath my lowered lashes. His lips were set in a thin line and he had a thoughtful look on his face. Noticing my silence, he nods his head for me to continue and I begin with my narration again.
“Noah was out of the country at that moment and the whole school was covered with posters of me and Ashton kissing inside the party. Everyone started calling me a cheating slut and whatnots and Emily turned her back to me that day. She spread awful things about my name and I couldn’t even defend myself because I had no friends other than Noah, Emily, and Natalie back then. Ava used to live in LA back then so she had no clue. The principal even called me inside the room and questioned my character in front of the school authority which was terribly mortifying back then. I begged them not to tell my parents a word and since then, the bullying started.
“No one would sit with me, let alone talk. I had no one and day by day I started getting depressed and used self-harm as a type of medicine. My parents had no clue until two months when they started noticing my rapid weight loss due to blood loss and later on forced me to see a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with severe depression. After that, I was doing well for a year after I moved to LA and stayed with Ava…” I trail off saying. Suddenly, I don’t know what to say.
At this point, it was pretty obvious that I sounded like a whiny lifeless girl whose hurt over her past. But in reality, what people always fail to see is the part that no one deserves to be bullied.
I begged my parents to never mention this incident to the Woodward family because I did not want to ruin my dad and Nate’s father’s friendship. Despite my mum’s insistent suggestion over getting Emily suspended and scolded by her parents, being the naïve soul that I was back then, I stopped her.
Now that I think of it, it might’ve been the worst decision that I have ever made.
“Then what happened next?” Blaze whispers through his gritted teeth and the way his jaw was clenched, it was obvious that he was restraining his fury. But my question was who was he mad at?
My head whirls back to the time when I reached Nate’s dorm party in Harvard. After a year of staying away, I got an invitation from Darien to join Nate’s 21st birthday at his dorm. The next images are a painful reminder of what went down later.
I close my eyes shut tightly but instead of those images getting dispelled, they become more vivid, and instantly open my eyes to get rid of that vision. My eyes fall in front of Blaze’s form.
“I know that there’s more to it. I know that’s not everything but I won’t force you to tell me” He looks up with a soft look in his eyes but underneath his soothing demeanor, I could almost feel his silent rage building up.
He moves forward from his seat and kneels on the floor in front of where I was sitting. Even after kneeling, he stood taller than my sitting position and cups my face with his warm hands whilst looking intently into my eyes.
“I am glad that you shared this with me. I won’t lie because with all due respect I want to know all that there is to know about you but I’m disappointed thinking that you are still holding back. Then again, so am I” He speaks all the words with such heavy unnamed emotions as if he is fighting over some inner dilemma.
So far from what I’ve witnessed, Blaze isn’t the type to communicate much but once he starts speaking, he makes sure to disarm and captivate a person with his mere simple words of honesty.
This makes it all even harder to leave behind.
He doesn’t deserve someone as deranged as me. He deserves someone capable of loving him, someone, who is not some cold bloo-
Fuck Phoebe! Don’t go there…
But then again, I’m not the same person anymore. I’m selfish when it comes to what I want and right now the only thing that I truly desire is Blaze’s affection. When it comes to him, I feel like a darn lost puppy sometimes. He makes me feel so much emotion without even trying.
I caress the sides of his face with my hands and feel the rough texture of his stubble grazing underneath the surface of my palms.
Leaning forward, I capture his mouth into a searing kiss that leaves me all hot and bothered for him all over again.
“I need you, Blaze. So badly” I whisper against his lips and without another word, he lifts me effortlessly with one hand scooping up both of my thighs and with the other one coiled around my waist.
He slams me against the sliding glass doors of the balcony and I wrap my legs around his narrow waist to avoid falling.
Our kiss is filled with desperation for each other as his tongue explores every contour of my mouth vehemently.
His growing bulge presses against my bare core and I moan out loudly at the friction.
Suddenly he starts walking inside the warm interior of his bedroom and I tighten my legs around him. He roughly deposits me down on his bed which was already rumpled from our earlier sessions and reaches down to rip his shirt away from my body.
I arch my back in pleasure as one of his mouths encloses around my nipple ad nearly convulse when he tugs it with his lips.
My eyes roll around the back of my head when his hands rub my clit in a circular motion sensually and he slides two of his fingers inside me.
“Are you always this wet or is it only around me?” He groans out and the vibrations travel all the way down my groin.
“Only-y a-around you-u” I manage to croak out as my legs start to stiffen.
This is honestly so embarrassing. Only he can send my libido flying through the roof and summon my inner wanton self this easily.
Without any warning, he fills me up with one swift powerful thrust and I come around him at the sudden movement.
He circles his hip and sets up a slow punishing rhythm that has me screaming his name out in bliss. I bite my hand in hopes of muffling my scream so that the whole palace doesn’t wake up as he fastens his pace hitting every one of my pleasure points.
He grips my jaw and angles my head, but instead of kissing me, he raises both of my arms over my head and bites down at the base of my neck and I scream even louder.
“Christ Blaze! Slow down! People will hear us” I moan out and hearing this, he increases his thrusts even further as if he wanted everyone to know that he was fucking me. I mewl out as his grasp around my hands tighten and his dominance turned me on big time as he fucked me to submission.
He releases my hand momentarily and I use that opportunity to flip both of us so that I’m the one riding him now. I interlock both of our hands together and rise up and down on his cock.
He captures one of my breasts into his hot waiting mouth and I arch my back to give him more access. Soon he takes control by gripping both of my hips and starts thrusting into me with so much intensity that I almost start seeing invisible stars on the ceiling.
Beads of sweat roll down my back as his pace fastens again and soon my climax throws me off the edge. Feeling him close to his own release, I tighten my pussy around his shaft, and with a loud guttural moan; he releases his load inside me.
Before I can even compose myself from my earlier high, he flips us and enters me with one powerful thrust, making me scream out his name.
After hearing his evenly gentle breaths behind me, I slowly rise from the bed making sure to not make a sound. Blaze was a really heavy sleeper which always made it easier for me to sneak out.
I shrug into my silk robe which was thrown on the vanity lounge and pad my way out of the bedroom. By the time I was outside in the hallways, I scan my surroundings and sigh with relief when I don’t see anyone.
Upon reaching my room, I softly close the door behind me and before I can turn, a voice speaks up making me freeze on the spot.
“You really thought that you can hide this from me, Phoebe Carter?”
A/N - Who do you think it is? Also, I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter. Let me know your thoughts on this!