Fatal Infatuation | 18+ [Editing]

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12 | Heartbeat

*Warning - Contains triggering content about self-harm and suicidal ideation*

Phoebe’s POV

“No, no, no, no” My hands clutch my hair painfully, almost pulling them from my head as I absorb the scene in front of me.

Crimson red blood coated the entire floor around her as shreds of broken glass pierced inside her skin. Without paying any heed to the mess, I kneel on the floor beside her and pick up her face from the floor to rest it on my shoulder.

Ava, no, no, no. Don’t do this to me, no” My teeth start chattering as shivers run down my spine when I feel her cold body against my skin. With shaky hands, I remove the glass shards covering her, some of them prick my fingers and instantly blood starts oozing out of the wounds. But nothing matters.

Nothing matters…


Nothing beats the pain of holding that exact person who shielded you away from all pain and sorrows when no one was there.


Each and everything inside my body contracts and soon I’m trying to drag air inside my lungs and wince when the stench of blood hits my nostrils.

The shrill ringing of my phone causes me to rest Ava’s head in my left shoulder as I fumble around my purse, looking for my phone blindly through my blurry vision. Not being able to read the caller ID, I swipe the green button on the screen and place the phone directly to my left ear as sobs break out of my throat.

“Hey, Phee-Holy shit! Are you crying?” The familiar voice of Kyle enters my ear and I look up at the ceiling.

“Kyle-e, you need to-o come in Ava’s apartment-t right now! Please, she’s-” I try to get words out of my throat but they get stuck somewhere as I keep on hiccuping.

My words are stuck in a place which I don’t want to visit. My mind refuses to say the word out loud as I gaze at the almost carcass-like body of my friend.

“I’m on my way. Just hold on. Call the damn ambulance for Christ’s sake. I don’t know what’s wrong but I’m coming. Just hold on to her, Pheebs” He says frantically and the sound of paper rustling is heard in the background.

Feeling stupid, I quickly check for her pulse, something I should’ve done in the beginning. As I place my index and middle finger right near her artery, hope fills my body when I detect a very fading pulse. Without wasting any more second, I quickly dial 911 and place the phone between my shoulder and my head.

Looking down at the fading body, I pull her closer to myself and squeeze my eyes shut.

“Just hold on. I’m here-e” My voice cracks in the end and the phone keeps ringing on the other end.


You ever feel like everything goes out of your hand and in a sense, it’s your entire fault? Losing a certain person triggers all your emotions and all the memories you shared with that him or her, flashes in front of your eyes. Starting from all the laughter to all the tears you shared.

It kills you slowly

Pulls you down under

Makes you hate it all as you try to keep hold of your sanity.

Nothing can describe the feeling...


It feels like the only option but deep down you know it’s all futile

You hope for a miracle

You hope for anything but the ugly truth

It ruins you

Strips you of all joy and feeling

Makes you go numb as you watch the life fade out of that person’s body

Knowing that you couldn’t do anything to save that person.

You just keep staring at the abyss like it holds all the answer whereas deep down you keep wondering how to fill that growing void which keeps expanding inside your chest. No amount of words can heal the pain. How can it even? Words never heal anything, because the scar is etched somewhere you can never reach.

Visiting hospitals used to be one of my most favorite things when I was a kid. As a child, I rarely got sick whereas my classmates would go on enjoying their sick-leave. It bothered me, it bothered me so much.

Why couldn’t I fall sick?

So it used to give me great joy when mum would take me to the hospital for getting me examined after I used to fall ill.

It all started when I joined the middle school. My feelings for Nate started growing intense. The only thing I ever focused on was him.

And that is exactly where I went wrong. I lost my focus on life, on my friends, on myself.

It wasn’t a big secret that Ava suffered from severe depression. Witnessing your parents fighting at a very small age, getting sexually violated by your own female cousin, suffering from mental abuse, and whilst still managing to keep that smile on your face, was something Avalynn Arya Hayes was a pro at doing.

With time she received therapy and it all fell in pieces, her life came into focus. From being an immature person, she turned into an independent woman, a confident woman. Something which I always admired about her.

But never in my life, had I ever imagined that beneath all those layers laid a broken girl who enjoyed harming herself. I knew that Ava had issues but I never deciphered that they ran so deep.

Where was that determined girl to whom I looked up to as my mentor, as my guide, as my role model? Where did she go?

Her confidence whilst mingling with strangers was something I always envied; her smartness always caught everyone’s attention.

I thought that I was the only one broken on the inside and knowing that, she always took care of me. Asked me every day how I was doing. After that drastic incident in my life, she was always beside me at every step.

Sure, Alana helped me but the main person who ever stuck with me after all my ups and downs was always my best friend Ava.

But of course, being the self-centered bitch that I was, I never paid much heed to what my friends were going through.

I almost lost my shit when I saw the empty bottle of melatonin beside her night-stand whilst the paramedics dragged her body away. I knew that she suffered from insomnia ever since she was a teen but I never thought that she’d down an entire bottle of sleeping pills in one go.

Which is exactly what confused me, what made her do such a horrible thing? The last time I checked, she was preaching to me that suicide is never a solution. But now that I think of it, was she trying to convince me or herself?

“Hey…” I looked up from my lap only to meet with silver-grey eyes that belonged to no one other than Kyle. He looked absolutely fucked with his jet-black hair in disarray. Dark circles covered the underside of his eyes almost as if he skipped sleep for days. His normal olive skin looked sickly pale as he placed a cold palm on my shoulder. Despite the coldness of his touch, I welcomed it.

Heck, I needed someone to comfort me!

The only person who ever managed to calm me within seconds was stuck inside the hospital with different tubes attacked to her fragile body whilst trying to battle with death for her life.

Is she really trying or am I too late?

“What did the doctor say?” I manage to croak out from my parched throat and lift my eyes to look at him whilst silently praying for some good news.

He closes his eyes as if he’s in pain and says, “They need to get the sleeping pills out of her system. It’s not going to be a comfortable procedure which is why they’re putting her in a coma. She’ll be fine but it will take some time for her to recover”

I nod upon hearing her word and rub my hands over my face to rub away the new fresh tears that cascade over my cheeks.

“Where the fuck did we go wrong, Pheebs? How could we not see it?” Kyle asks me and I turn to look at him as he keeps on eyeing the door of the ICU with disdain.

“I don’t know. Why would she do that? She didn’t even look depressed? God, I’m such a bad friend!” I exclaim and start crying after feeling pathetic.

“Huh, that makes the two of us. I can’t believe that I never guessed it…” He looks just as lost as me and I rest my head on the cold walls of the hospital.

I pair of footsteps approach us and I look up to see Blaze.

Upon seeing my condition, he visibly winces, and honestly, I don’t blame him. I did look like shit.

My hands and clothes were drenched in blood which was now dried. My hair clung to my tear-stained face with my mascara running down over my cheeks.

Did it matter? No, it didn’t. The only thing that mattered was getting my best friend out of this hospital...alive.

“You ok there?” Blaze asks in a soft gentle tone and I shake my head, no.

Kyle eyes us both curiously because he has no fucking clue what my former employer was doing here.

Noticing his confusion, Blaze steps forward and offers his hand to Kyle for a shake as he mutters, “Hello, I’m Blaze. Phoebe’s boyfriend” He introduces himself and honestly, if we were in a different situation I would’ve beamed with joy. But right now, I felt nothing.

Absolutely nothing…

I could feel Kyle’s surprised gaze in my direction but I don’t even bother to look at either of them.

“It’s great to meet you, man. I’m Phoebe and Ava’s best friend, Kyle. I’m glad that you’re here with us” He responds and rises so that Blaze can seat beside me as he saunters in the direction of the ICU to get updates.

“Do you know what happened?” Blaze asks in a sweet comforting tone and pulls my limp body in his embrace. I slump down on his body and the smell of his signature cologne mixed with his aftershave fills my nose, acting as a balm for my aching heart as I start crying.

He pats my back gently as I pour my heart out.

“Ava’s strong, Phoebe. She’ll survive this. What do you think she’ll say when she witnesses you like this? You need to stay strong, at least do it for her” He keeps on whispering soothing words beside my ears and soon my sobbing turns into small sniffing as I try to control my emotions.

In a sense, he was right. I had to be there for Ava. There was no way in hell I was going to call her parents and drag them all the way from Chennai to Seattle just to witness their daughter like this. Toxic or not, she loved her family and they loved her too.

It was a very stupid decision for me to make but If there’s anything I know about my best friend at all, then I know full well that she’d kill me if she finds out that I dragged her parents to Seattle over this.

Her family settled in India where her father was originally born after she started her freshman year in college. So, she started staying in the dorms like the rest of her college mates along with me. She left no chance for her parents to worry about her because she was always an obedient child. Despite enjoying the fun that college life provided, she always stayed out of trouble.

She truly was one of a kind and it wasn’t a secret that her parents were proud of their daughter’s achievement despite her believing otherwise.

The buzzing sound of a phone breaks me out of my thoughts and I peer up from my fetal position to see Blaze looking at me with a confused expression plastered on his face. It takes me a minute to realize that the phone which was currently ringing belonged to Ava and I delve inside my purse to pick the black sleek object from its tucked in position inside my bag ever since the paramedics handed it to me.

I lift the device to see the name of some guy I don’t recognize. Before I can swipe the green circle to answer the phone, the call ends and soon a text follows along with it.

Dean Hopkins – Hello Ms. Hayes, I just wanted to inform you that the shipment of peonies you ordered for Brenda Jones’s wedding will arrive in Bridgeford tomorrow. Are you ok with that?

Like any normal person in this situation, I unlock the phone screen to type a reply for this guy saying that Ava’s indisposed at the moment but instantly am met with shock when her screen unlocks.

Texts from certain someone fill my vision and within seconds I grasp what the actual fuck made Ava do what she did.

Amore, what’s wrong?” Blaze asks me curiously when he sees me seething with my fists close to the point where my knuckles turn white. Without a word, I hand him over the phone, which he takes from my hand silently and I watch his expression freeze with shock and disgust when he reads all the text.

My breathing grows short as my blood starts boiling with rage and on cue, another pair of footsteps approach in my direction and I gaze up to see Noah filing in my direction.

Without a second thought, I rise from my seat to stomp in his direction. Before he can get any words out, I slap him right across the face and cringe instantly when my injured hand makes contact with his cheeks.

You bastard…” I spat right in his face.

A/N - This chapter was honestly so hard for me to write because it was just so emotional.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and any guesses on what Noah did? Let me know in the comment section below!

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