Fatal Infatuation | 18+ ✔

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23 | Lack Of Trust

Phoebe’s POV

He eyed me with a mixture of caution and interest.

My insides were literally clenching with anxiety as I contemplated telling him.

Fucking do it already, Pheebs!

“Alana’s my therapist” I watch him arch one of his eyebrows raise but he doesn't really look surprised.

“I know” Seeing my shocked expression, he continues, “No offense, love but you both are terrible actresses”

A relieved laugh escapes my lips when I see him look at me with a serene expression that spoke volumes that he didn’t judge me.

Not even one bit

“What’s the second thing?” He asks curiously and I screw my eyes shut, taking a very deep long breath.

Oh shit!

“Nate tried to kiss me” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I watch his face harden like a stone as he sits up from his resting position on the car door of the backseat.

“But I moved away as soon as I can!” I quickly add and wince inwardly when I notice the murderous expression on Blaze’s face. If looks could kill, I’d be dead by now. His fists were clenched and he wasn’t even looking in my direction.

I know that I omitted the part where mine and Nate’s lip touched but seeing Blaze’s furious face, I’d rather keep my mouth shut.

“That dickwad” He curses under his breath and shoots me a suspicious look shortly after, “Wait, why were you with him even?”

Double crap!

“He came in my office along with Jane on the day when Ava’s tried committing suicide and hired me to design their family home. Where they will be living after they are married…” I try explaining whilst putting double emphasis on ‘their’ to make him realize the depth of the situation.

“Oh,” He says and stares skyward through the window.

That’s it?

After a beat, he takes a shaky breath and asks, “Do you still love him, Phoebe?”

His question catches me off guard at first but after thinking hard for over the last week whilst avoiding him, I know the answer to his question.

“I’ll be honest with you, Blaze - If I still loved him, I wouldn’t be here with you. I would’ve kissed him that day and ended everything I have with you” I watch him clench his jaw with anger and continue, “But I’m not. I’m not with him. I’m here because I don’t love him. Not anymore”

He looks at me for a solid minute and nods his head with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. An unfamiliar feeling spreads through my guts and I recognize it as a disappointment.

Disappointed at his lack of response

“Do you not trust me?” I splutter with disbelief and watch him hesitate with his answer. I shake my head as I scoff at his behavior and move as far as I can from him.

Seeing this, he opens his mouth, “Phoebe, it's not-”

“Just take me to the hotel” I cut him off abruptly and watch him sigh with defeat as he drags a hand through his unruly mop of jet-black hair, messing them further.

Avoiding him, I reach for my top and my skirt, not bothering to put on my bra or underwear, and stuff them inside my bag. I grasp the door handle and move out of the car, making a beeline for the passenger side and slide in.

The next thing I know, he’s starting the ignition, and were driving wordlessly through the dark of the night. The solitary empty streets act as my companion for distraction as I stare outside to look at the passing trees with dejection seeping through every pore of my body.

For some reason, him not trusting me bothered me deeply. I trusted him, I really did. Despite his shady acts and all the things that went down in Monaco, starting from the trap at the labyrinth, the prisoner inside the cellar, I still trusted him.

And here he is - he can’t even trust me to stay loyal to him.

It was all going so well just a few minutes ago, we were so happy, and now, I don’t even want to be anywhere near him. My body feels like recoiling away from him…entirely

Everything about him starts overwhelming me.

I can still smell him on myself and his presence beside me isn’t helping my racked nerves either.

Fuck you, Blaze Hunter!

As childish as it may sound, I feel tears stinging the back of my eyes, and instantly, I take a deep breath to stop myself from breaking in front of him.

This is exactly what I hated about relationships. Giving someone the power to ruin you emotionally never appealed to me. This is why I avoided relationships like one avoided plagues. It wasn’t like I slept around either, as much as I would love to do that, I didn’t have the time.

Somewhere along with sex, love comes around and vice versa. So, I preferred avoiding both of them.

Until now

It breaks me to think that he doesn't trust me.

****

As soon as he parks the car near the entrance of the hotel, I scramble out of the car quickly and shut the car door on my way out without once looking back.

The hotel receptionist greets me with a crisp practiced polite smile even though it’s clear as the fucking daylight that she’s probably wondering where the fuck I’ve been.

I trudge past the empty lobby to the bank of the elevators and quickly get inside the cool steel interior, clutching the lace shawl closer to my body to shield myself from the cool air of the air conditioner.

As soon as the steel doors envelop me inside, I slide down on the floor as racks of sob heave my body. I didn’t understand why I was feeling this emotional over something as trivial as that but deep down I know that I’ve fallen for Blaze.

Everything that he did mattered to me. Every single small little reaction.

What hurt me even further was the fact that he didn’t bother to come after me as I angrily marched away from him.

I refuse to cry after him and furiously wipe away all my tears as I shuffle to stand up as the elevator door opens.

Unfortunately, the person standing on the other side of the elevator is no one other than my beloved mother. Her hazel green eyes grow heavy with concern as she takes in my disheveled appearance.

“Sweetie, what happened?” She asks frantically as I stand there in front of her with hot tears cascading down my cheeks.

Instead of being mad at me like I expected her to be, she’s here asking me if I’m okay or not, which has me crying even harder as I rush into her arms which swathes me into a tight hug as she gently strokes my hair to calm me.

Oh, mom…” I sob in the crook of her neck as she pats my back gently.

“Honey, what happened?” She repeats her question in a vaguely panicky edge as I keep on crying.

God, I’m pathetic

The next few minutes pass in a blur as she leads me inside my suite and now I’m currently wearing my silk pajamas whilst lying in the bed with my head nestled in the comfort of my mother’s lap as she silently strokes my hair in a warm soothing manner.

“You feel like talking about it, sweetie?” She probes softly and I release a huge sigh before lifting my head from her lap to look at her properly.

“I don’t think he trusts me” I mumble under my breath even though I can guarantee that she didn’t understand a shit.

“He as in your boyfriend? Why doesn’t he trust you?”

“I don’t know mom. I shouldn’t be sad, should I? I haven’t been honest with him about everything? I didn’t tell him that I’m a killer” I sob and feel my mother stiffen.

“Sweetie, don’t say it like that! You are anything but a killer. It was an accident and when the time comes, you tell him what happened” She consoles me before adding, “That is, if you love him”

I want to correct her on the fact that it wasn't an accident but the last sentence takes my breath away and now it’s my turn to freeze.

“That’s the problem, mom. I do love him” My voice is just a notch below whispering.

Yes, yes, my admission even takes me by surprise because this is the first time I’m admitting it to myself out loud.

I love Blaze Hunter

That is why this entire thing feels so painful. How do you love someone if they can’t even trust you? I needed some time to open up but as days pass, I feel like I’m losing my sanity. Not a moment passes without me thinking about him and how he’s going to react when I finally tell him the truth about me.

If I even want to tell him the truth about me…

Distancing myself away from him only made me want him even more and wasn’t helping me in any way. Then there’s the fact that he doesn’t trust me. If he can’t trust me, how can he ever love me?

“Then tell him that! Life’s too short to let moments like this slip away” My mother advises with enthusiasm and I refrain from snorting.

Yes, life is indeed too short but my life isn’t normal

Feeling tired with everything, I rise from the bed and reach the nightstand to down the glass of water that was lying on top of it.

“I’ll think about it” I dismiss the topic and ask, “Uh, mum, what are you not asleep? It’s almost 3 am?”

She shrugs and says, “How do you expect me to sleep when you aren’t even in your room? I came to talk to you only to find that you’re gone so I was on my way down to search for you”

Suddenly I remember all the horrid things I said to my mother and my body heats up with mortification and shame.

“Mum, look I’m so sorr-” Before I can finish, she cuts me off by raising her hand and smiles gently before saying, “I know that you didn’t mean it. It’s alright. Besides I shouldn’t have judged you without knowing what actually went down between you and Noah”

In a way, I was glad that Noah didn’t spew any made up bullshit to my mother and for a moment I contemplate telling my mother about all the disgusting things he said to Ava but decide against it when I realize that Ava will be mad as hell if she finds out what I did.

“Ava and Noah had very ugly fallout. It’s better if I don’t get into the details. Just know that what Noah did was terribly wrong” I offer her the conclusion, carefully leaving out the part where he called her an attention-seeking slut and all about ending her life.

“Oh no, I hope he realizes his mistake soon” She mutters and I nod my head in agreement.

“Anyways, it’s late. I have to go before your father starts looking for me” She rises up from the bed and plants a soft kiss on my forehead before saying, “I love you, sweetie”

“I love you too, mom” I reply and follow her out of the bedroom to the door.

As soon as she’s out, I sag down on the door with exhaustion creeping inside my bones and decide to go and finally lie down to get some sleep.

However, a knock resonates through the hotel door and I frown with confusion.

Did mom leave something behind?

I pull myself together and open the door again only to see the last person I wanted to see right now.

You have to be kidding me...

A/N - Any ideas on who it might be? Also, what do you think about Blaze's reaction?

Let me know your thoughts! And don't forget to hit the like button if you're enjoying the story so far.

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