24 | Sweet Confessions
His words were like music to my ears. Despite all the negative repulsion that I was feeling towards him, my heart called out for him. His eyes looked desperate and his face looked like he was tired to the core.
“Go home, Blaze” I shake my head and clutch the door handle to shut it close in his face but he places his foot inside the small space between the door and the doorframe.
And just like that, he pushes past the door and enters my suite.
“Phoebe, just let me-”
“I don’t want to hear it!” I yell right in his face and his face contorts with shock at my outburst. It was the first time, I’ve ever shouted at him (not in a sexual way).
Even with disheveled hair and a despairing look, he looked perfect to me. My heart tugs as I feel my teeth chattering together, alerting me of the incoming sob that’s about to burst through my mouth.
Trying my best to ignore him, I shake my head and turn away from him to head inside the bedroom.
And of course, he follows me
“I’m not going until you let me explain, Phoebe”
“Remind me again, why am I not surprised?” I reply sarcastically rolling my eyes heavenwards and watch his eyes narrow with annoyance.
Ok, I get it that I’m acting like a childish brat but for fuck’s sake! My feelings are hurt, BIG TIME!
For the first time in eight years, I’ve opened my heart to someone and this is what happens – How lovely!
My thoughts are disturbed when Blaze traps me in his arms, hugging me from behind, not letting me leave, and just like that, the dam breaks open.
I cry so hard that I can guarantee that my eyeballs will start hurting by tomorrow.
“Shh, it’s okay love. I’m so sorry” His gentle words don’t do much to comfort me instead I start crying even harder.
Christ, what the fuck is with me being all hormonal? Am I pregnant or what?
As soon as the ‘P’ word pops inside my head, I shake my head inwardly at its ridicule. It’s impossible for me to be pregnant because I just had my period and also I took the shot eight days back during my period.
’Stop blaming it on the hormones, Pheebs. Your boyfriend’s an ass’ my subconscious complains to me as I try to squirm away from Blaze’s embrace.
I can hear him trying to coax me into listening to his explanation in the background but I just simply want him to stop talking!
So, I do what I’ve learned the best during my stay in France.
I distract him
The warm water feels like a balm to my raging nerves. At first, the sensation is like having a thousand small little needles piercing your skin but eventually as you stand underneath the steamy water, the pain slowly ebbs away and acts like an antidote to all your problems.
Being away from him made me see things from a different perspective
I feel disgusted.
Not at him but myself. All this time I whined about him being using me a week back and now look at me – Here I am, using sex as a weapon for distracting him.
Now that I’m finally free to think my thoughts through, I feel utterly ashamed of myself.
I don’t know why I acted like such a whiny bitch which by the way feels completely unfair on Blaze’s part at the moment and also shows exactly how unstable I am when it comes to being a good girlfriend.
Swirls of numerous question cloud my mind
How can he really trust me when I haven’t been honest with him about my biggest secret?
Will our secrets always burden us?
Can we ever move past all these hurdles?
Lastly, will it last?
As selfish as it may seem, I’m not ready to let go of Blaze.
“I love him…” My own voice feels foreign to my ears as I say the words out loud. I sound scared and utterly helpless.
I hate this
All of it
You never know when you fall for someone; you can’t even choose it for yourself. But it’s not just anybody I’m talking about.
It’s Blaze fucking Hunter for crying out loud!
Millions of women and men are out there lusting over him. I can bet that they will do anything to just have him in their bed even if it means for only one night.
Heck! I’d be on that list of desperate people too if he wasn’t Noah’s cousin.
Sometimes I find myself wondering, did Blaze sleep with me to anger Noah? Was I some sort of weird-ass challenge to him?
Blaze Hunter was the type of person who couldn’t care less about what people think, especially Noah.
I should be dancing on a fucking pole knowing that I slept with such a mouthwatering specimen that’s my boyfriend.
The word still feels so unknown and strange to me but somehow it still manages to make me smile. But the million-dollar question is, how long?
How long will he be with me? How long will it last? How long until I ruin it?
And just like that, fresh tears leak out of my eyes.
Why can’t I be normal like others? Why can’t I enjoy my life like others?
Suddenly, I feel a warm skin pressing against me, holding me as I cry my eyes out. My hand travels to my eyes to massage my sore eyeballs which feel pierced from the torture of the warm water, causing me to move backward, pressing myself into his front.
“I’m such a bad girlfriend” I mutter out and watch him sigh as he snakes his arms around my torso, placing soft kisses over my shoulder.
“I’m not the best boyfriend either Phoebe. I know that I’ve been an ass over the last week but just hear me out” He pleads and I nod my head for him to continue.
“It’s just that…I haven’t been in a relationship in ages, especially not with someone like you” He chuckles softly, and hearing this I almost hit him with the conditioner bottle before he quickly explains, “Someone like you as in…you’re amazing Phoebe. Stop thinking that you’re abnormal, amore because trust me, you are anything but that. You captivate me with everything that makes you who you are”
My heart swells with happiness when I hear the words that keep flowing from his mouth, wrapping me in its warmth like a tight blanket on a cold winter morning.
“And about the trust thing…It’s just that. When it comes to you, I feel so insecure. A constant fear envelops me, making me think that you’ll leave me. With all due respect Phoebe, you loved Nate for years. Excuse me for feeling insecure. I have been – I just don’t know how to explain all these feelings because I’ve never been good at this. I’m sorry about how I made you feel. Just for the record, I did follow you after you embarked on the elevator. So, I took the stairs and saw you with your mother. So, I waited for your mother to leave before coming here”
His words knock the breath out of me as I listen to him patiently and kick myself inwardly for being such a stupid bitch.
Christ, what is wrong with me?
“Shit, Blaze…I’m so sorry…” I trail off with my feeble attempts at apologizing and cringe inwardly.
His hands rub over my arms gently in a calming manner as he says, “It’s ok, amore. However, I presume that everything’s all well with your mother?”
“Oh yeah. We talked. We both apologized. So, it’s safe to say that we’re all good now” I say nonchalantly and rest the back of my head on his shoulder as my fingers unconsciously trace circles over the jutted veins of his triceps.
Suddenly it dawns on me that I was supposed to meet his parents tomorrow.
As if reading my mind, he speaks up, “You still up for meeting my parents tomorrow?”
“Yeah sure, that is if you still want me to meet them,” I say softly and feel his chest vibrate behind my back as he chuckles softly, with the vibrations surprisingly traveling all the way down to my groin, instantly making me wet.
Ok, that’s it. I’m doing a pregnancy test tomorrow. I’m sure that it’s abnormal to be this horny around someone.
Deep down I know that only Blaze is capable of unleashing this wanton always-in-the-mood side of me. But still, I make a mental note of visiting the pharmacy tomorrow.
“Of course, I still want you to meet my parents, Tesoro Mío” He tightens his hold on me and again kisses my shoulder, except this time he doesn’t just stop there. His lips travel over the length of my neck, placing searing kisses in its wake and I’m gone.
But another thought pops inside my head before I verbalize it, “Anything that I should keep in mind whilst visiting your parents?”
He stops at the nape of my neck and raises his head to look at me straight in the eye.
“Do you want me to be brutally honest?”
“Always” I nod my head.
“Well, my dad’s all cool and my brothers are happy to meet you. However…” He trails off and I grimace waiting for his answer, “…my mom’s a bit wary because she had a really terrible experience with my ex Diana”
Oh wow, I already hate this woman Diana for making things so complicated for me
“Wait, so you never dated anyone after Diana?” I can’t help but ask and watch him frown.
“No, I did date a few women but none of them made me want to introduce them to my parents”
Hearing his words, I relax slightly knowing that I’m the first woman after his ex to get introduced to his parents whilst ignoring the fact that he did date a few women after her.
‘Were you expecting him to go all celibate after a bad break up?’ My subconscious sneers at me. Which kind of does makes me wonder what exactly went down between the duo? What made his mother so concerned about the women he dated afterward.
But of course, I don’t ask as he doesn’t elaborate further.
Sensing my bleak mood, he nuzzles my neck and flicks his tongue over my sweet spot, instantly making my nipples harden whilst pulling me out of my dark thoughts.
“Enough about my ex. Just know that my parents will love you. I know that they will, amore” He whispers beside my ear, sending delicious shivers down my spine making me warm all over and for some inexplicable reason, I feel a fluttering feeling inside my stomach.
His mere presence always manages to make me giddy like a small schoolgirl.
God, I love this man!
As I keep on admitting the truth to myself, it keeps on getting easier and easier. I can bet that Alana would be so proud to hear this.
However, thoughts of making my therapist proud flies out of my head as I feel Blaze’s one hand glide down over my southern region and the other one rolling my right nipple as he continues sucking on my neck, instantly making my mouth open wide as the hot water cascades over our naked bodies.
When his fingers finally enter me, I almost lose my footing as my knees buckle with all the stimulation. His fingers dance over my clit expertly as he fingers me repeatedly.
After a few agonizing seconds, my body arches with me crying out an incoherent version of his name when my first climax greets me as he curls his fingers inside me and I slump down on him like a sack of potatoes.
His harsh breath beside my ear coupled with his raging hard-on pressing against the small of my back reminds me exactly how much he’s enjoying this.
Suddenly, he angles my face to meet his and stares at me right in the eye.
“Do you trust me?”
Do I trust him?
Yes I do
I don’t know what he wants to do but I think it’s a given that I trust him with everything when it comes to both my body and my heart.
My damn heart – which is now brimming with a heated feeling that I can’t decipher using my now-fogged brain which is literally begging for the man that is standing in front of him.
“Yes, I do,” I say with steely resolve coating my voice and watch his face break into a salacious I’m-so-going-to-fuck-your-brains-out grin.
“Brava ragazza. Now face the wall” He commands in his hot domineering tone which sounds hooded with lust.
Like the obedient bitch that I am, I comply with his order and face the shiny black marble wall, placing my palms flat on the cold surface. The hot water is still raining down on us except the temperature feels like it dropped a few degrees.
Although, my insides are absolutely flaming with desire and anticipation.
“What are you planning to do?” I whisper coyly even though my nerves were quaking with excitement and a slight bit of anxiety.
I feel him lean closer to me and drawl out in a playful tone as his fingers hover over my wet slit and oh so slowly gliding up to my other opening and finally stopping there.
“Now...I’m going to stretch you here, and trust me, you’re going to love each and every second of it”
A/N - Damn it's hot in here *fanning myself*. I have to warn you that the next chapter will contain some pretty extreme explicit sexual content and for those who are uncomfortable with reading it, I'd suggest you all not to.
What do you all think about Blaze's confession? Let me know!