33 | The Crash
I look at her with my mouth gaped open in disbelief. My hands shake with fear as she saunters towards me like a predator circling its prey.
“How on earth…?” I trail off in confusion.
“How on earth I know that you’re a bloody killer?” She probes mockingly and I cringe at her word usage.
A bloody killer, huh!
As much as troublesome the word sounds, it’s truly fitting in my case. But what I’m trying to grasp is the fact of how she knows this. My parents completely made sure that this information stays away from the public eye then how the fuck does she know?
The records were wiped clean to the point that even if Sherlock Holmes starts looking for this information; he will come bare-handed.
I clench my hands into fists to stop them from shaking and keep my face impassive, something I’ve become a pro at over the years.
“How do you know?” I risk asking her and wait for her answer.
She lets out a bitter laugh and regards me with hatred, “Funny, that it never occurred to you that maybe the person whose life you took also had a daughter?”
I stare at her in confusion for a second until it hits me.
My eyes widen with alarm as I watch her eyes brim with tears. I shake my head in bewilderment at the cruelty of the situation.
“Your Fidel’s daughter?!” I splutter as I contemplate the truth behind her words. But now that I finally look at her, I notice the unmistakable similarities between the father and daughter.
“Yes, Phoebe. Looks like Blaze didn’t even tell you my whole name. It’s Diana Pietro, Fidel Pietro's daughter. The man whom you killed with that fucking gun” She looks at me accusingly.
I want the ground to just fucking swallow me up.
“As if my life wasn’t miserable already, you made it absolutely worst!” She exclaims with tears running down her lovely face and I feel the familiar sinking feeling which I’ve kept locked over years.
She keeps on continuing, “My mother was a junkie who couldn’t care less about me. All my life, I’ve been looked down on by people because of my parent’s divorce. At least my father loved me, but of course, you took him away from me!”
For a few seconds, I feel like educating her over the fact that psychopaths don’t know how to love but seeing her hysteric haze, I decided to keep my mouth shut.
“Diana, you don’t understand-” She cuts me with a dangerous glint in her eyes that screams, ‘shut the fuck up’ and I keep my mouth sealed.
She starts, “Do you know what’s funny? The day you killed my father, minutes ago before that time, Blaze was about to fuck my brains out if it wasn’t for the authorities ringing me to tell me that you killed my father! After you fled from the scene with your family, I went there to see the bloody carcass. After coming back, I begged Blaze to fuck me again, but of course, being the study freak that he was, he rejected me for his exams! Can you believe him? He chose his exams over me!”
She started manically inching towards me as she narrated her tale. I try my best to not picture her and Blaze because truth be told, it hurt like a bitch.
It felt like the entire world was against me
’I killed someone. I killed someone. I killed someone. That, someone, had a daughter. That, someone, had a daughter. That someone had a daughter’ the words keep circling inside my head like an endless loop that I can’t get out of.
I clutch the counter behind me for support so that I don’t fall like waves of guilt splash over me.
“I was so upset that I fucked some stupid junkie of our school named god knows what and got myself pregnant. It was supposed to be Blaze and my son if it wasn’t for your pathetic ass ending my father’s life! It’s all your fucking fault!” She screams at me as tears cascade over my cheeks.
My hands start shaking as I feel my sanity’s walls breaking down over me.
“You know, I always wanted to kill you ever since the day I heard your name. But karma really does have its weird ways, doesn’t it? I mean, never have I ever thought that Blaze will end up with you” She points in my direction mockingly and starts inching towards me, taking slow steps.
“Diana, please stop” I beg her as my hands grasp my head in a tight grip to stop the voices in my head.
But of course, she ignores me and continues with her rant, “I see the way you look at Blaze. You love him. I wonder what Blaze would say when he finds out that his beloved girlfriend’s a murderer…”
I whip my head to look at her with wide eyes. Fear courses through my veins as I imagine the scene unfold.
No, no, no, no…
“For fuck’s sake, your father was a bloody psychopath who ended so many people’s life!” I try reasoning out the actual truth with her but she takes none of it into account.
“I know he killed people. Then again, so did you!” She screams.
Whoa, what the fuck?! Your father killed hundreds of people and I ONLY killed him!
“He was about to kill me! What would you have done in my place?” Now I’m screaming as I try to make her see some sense into her own words.
But of course, she ignores it and continues blabbering, “I might’ve tried to pass someone else’s baby as his own, but at least I never murdered anyone in cold-blood”
I shake my head at all this as my head starts throbbing with pain and thankfully she starts to leave the washroom, but her parting words act as the last straw, “Trust me, he’s better off without you”
Just like that, darkness starts consuming my entire system
I lean my head back on the seat as I drive towards the hotel where I’m currently staying. After receiving a litter of texts from Blaze regarding where the fuck I am, I turned off my phone.
Getting my car from the valet was kind of easy as soon as I stuffed a thousand dollars inside his hand and the fact that Blaze and I arrived at the venue separately also worked in my favor.
I could feel the effects of alcohol teamed with Diana’s parting words still buzz inside my head as I drive through the empty streets of Rome. Pink Floyd’s ’Comfortably Numb’ plays in the background through the BMW’s stereo system as I keep on playing the conversation with Blaze’s ex inside my head.
’He better off without you’
As much as I would love to play dumb, I know full well that she’s right. Blaze is indeed better off without me. I mean he’s amazing! Sure, he has some issues but who doesn’t?
I mean for fuck’s suck, I have bipolar disorder, PTSD, OCD. I’m manipulative, selfish, I lie.
Even after everything that happened, I’m still contemplating acting as nothing happened and getting back with Blaze and acting like nothing changed.
I laugh to myself bitterly thinking how much of a horrible person I am. Never have I ever thought that Fidel might have a daughter. He was a psychopath for crying out loud! I guess psychopaths often forget to use condoms too.
But as my laughter subdues, I wistfully stare at the streetlamps guiding me through the suburban area where white picket fence houses are situated.
Even if I act as nothing happened, will it really matter? I might love Blaze, but what about him? I don’t even know what he feels for me. Surely, he loves me too?
A small part of my brain craves the last sentence to be true but I know better. Truth doesn’t stay hidden for a long time. Fidel’s murder history might be wiped clean but his family’s well aware of the fact that I never spent one day in jail. His case was dismissed as soon as my lawyer called my attack a form of self-defense.
But despite all the people’s lives, he took, what difference is there between me and him?
I killed someone too. That doesn’t make him any different from me. I took someone’s life. That, someone, had a family too. I could never understand Diana’s grief because no one took my father’s life. But I could tell that her father’s death affected her. After all, she was Fidel’s daughter.
Oh God, what have I done?
My mind drifts back to all those gruesome days of Fidel torturing me in his stupid cell. I could still vividly recall the disgusting rusty taste of blood as he made me drink my own blood for his sick ways to see me in pain.
He would beat me, cut my skin to skin to draw blood only to feed me my own blood. My body shudders to recall all those painful memories.
I could still see all those bones scattered over the floor where he dumped his victims' skinned bodies.
I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I failed to see the dog running past my car, causing me to suddenly hard break. Before I can exhale in relief for not hitting that poor creature, my body gets thrown on the left side of the car as the sound of a loud crash rings through my ears, almost making me deaf.
The loud sound of the car’s damage alert kicking in paired with the crumbling sound of glasses breaking makes me scream in agony. Hot searing pain shoots through my skulls as it collides with the glass window, a few glass shards piercing on my skin.
Through my fogged state, I visibly make out the outline of a black SUV before the darkness swallows me whole, making my vision go all black.
A/N - I know that many of you now might feel like killing me, but oh well, let's see what happens...
Let me know your thoughts on the chapter and also note that this is the first draft, I'll edit the chapter again!