“That's it!” Rebecca puffed.
“What’s burning?” I asked her slightly dizzy from sleep.
Rebecca had drawn the curtains, letting the light of day into the room., trying to adjust my eye after a long period of sitting in darkness.
“Wake up, get out of this bed! I can't stand you anymore. It stinks in this room. Take a shower, go outside. Enjoy the fucking world! By the way, did you know that spring has come?” she scolded me quite seriously.
“Very funny!” I said ironically as if I was interested in spring, I was drained of power and still not in the mood for anything.
I finally got out of bed at her insistence and took a shower. The water drops felt on my skin, just like a summer rain. I was trying to wake up to reality. Everything that is happening now is a nightmare, this cannot be real. I… I was still pregnant…. And my hand instinctively went to my belly.
I knew I as lying to myself, all this happened and it wss for real, John was not part of my life anymore. One day, in one day your life can change completely. And nothing can return to way things were.
I only had to accept and face the situation, after all- life goes on.
“Turning into a little mermaid?” I could hear Rebecca's nervous tone, a sign that she had not left the room.
I turned off the shower faucet and looked in the mirror. The Katherine I knew was gone. I did not recognize myself. I was tired, even though I was asleep for days. My eyes were red from the tears I shed.
Wrapped up in a towel, I came back into the room, to see a very annoyed Rebecca.
“Kate, I think it’s time to let go. You need to put everything in order, or at least try. Let me know what’s your plans are, did you think about it?”
“I will figure something! For now, I want to stay a bit at your place if this is possible, and then I will get an apartment. I do still have some money in my account, my savings, never thought I will use them.”
“Of course, you can stay here as long as you want! You know I am here for you. But I hate seeing you like this; this is not you! I do not want you to be depressed or even worse. So, I will try to help you as much as I can.”
I just shrugged, not knowing what else to say. I just needed more time with myself to get over this.
Rebecca understood what I am feeling.
“I will wait in the kitchen. Come when you are ready!”
I got dressed in what I found first in my luggage and went down to the kitchen.
“Coffee?!” she asked me kindly this time, and thanks to her she managed to throw me out of the room.
“Thank you!” I answered, reaching for the cup.
“You smell better now! What are you going to do? You should start living your life, Kitty! I know it is hard for you, it is obvious! I cannot imagine what is in your shoes, but I notice that you suffer a lot and that this will not pass easily, but you have to gather your strength to do it.”
It was good advice, but we are all good at saying words, but harder to do.
“I don't know…. I’ll try to get over it!” I was confused, I did not even know where to start recovering.
“Okay! You have my full support, and you are welcome here if you want as I already said. But what are you doing now? I mean today, at this moment. “
“I have no plan for today. I wanted to stay in bed again, not in the mood for anything, and to be honest I don’t have a purpose, at least not for a while.”
“You will have because I just made you one. We will go to the beauty salon! You are in a desperate need of makeover. God, you look like hell! Come on, we already have an appointment in an hour at the salon.” She said proud of herself.
“Good God! Only you can plan such things!” I said to her rolling my eyes, but I liked the idea, it was an impulse to get over this faster.
I went upstairs to get my jacket and went downstairs. Rebecca was waiting for me at the end of the stairs. Even though time had passed, I had not even noticed that her belly had grown. I wonder why I did not become a vegetable while I was in that bed.
“Two more weeks and I didn't recognize you anymore.” She comments.
“It's not like that! I still look good. Somehow, at least.” I stated.
I knew she was right about what she was saying, but I did not want to admit it, at least not in front of her. I did not want to be completely down. I knew I had to gather my strength from somewhere and move on.
After hours spent at the beauty salon, where the stylist there took care of me, giving me a fresh look, I got home feeling a little better. She had run to the kitchen, ready to make dinner. I offered to help her, and she gladly accepted.
“I want to thank you for today and thank you for taking care of me all this time. I know I said today I should stay here for a while, but it's time to find a place to stay. I spent too much time on your head.”
“I don’t want to hear this. Do not say that again! You just know that you are welcome with me, and you can stay as long as you want. I told you before! But I do not like the state you are in at all. I said that at least a visit to the salon will get you out of your melancholy. I hope I succeeded a little.”
“Yes… I feel much better today!” I did not even know what to tell her, what to ask her, where to start. I wanted to know what had happened all this time and if John had even tried to reach for me.
But I did not have the strength to open this subject now. Once the food was in the oven, I went to my room to change for dinner.
In my room there were a few cardboard boxes on the floor and two trollers were sitting in the corner of the room and the envelopes with mail were on the table by the window.
I sat down on the chair and went through the first three envelopes that were just offers from various cosmetics companies and then one that wrote in block letters- JAKE .. It was the envelope that Rebecca had given me when I was in the mountains and which I had not managed to open.
There was something more than a letter in that envelope, as I could feel It and I opened it immediately. In that white envelope, I found a ring.
The ring was gorgeous and looked old, with an emerald that had lost its luster, and the ring was made of bronze. Next to the ring was a letter. I remembered that the ring had belonged to his grandmother, and that his mother had given it to his future bride. His mother once showed me the ring. But why had he sent it to me? Why when I was still with John, and he had gone back to London? He told me he will stay away from me. So I opened the letter, and started to read it.
"Kitty, I know I don't deserve you, but I would do anything to get you back. Now, I know it is too late. You and John will become a full-fledged family. A baby is on the way for you two. I wish that baby were ours. I will leave you alone, I would not want to insist where I am not wanted. But whatever happens, I will always be here. For any!
PS: I love you!!
And please, accept my ring, it is not a marriage proposal, just that I am sure no other woman deserve it as much as you do. You have my whole heart!”
And just like that the man I hated for all the bad things he did to me with his indifference, managed to make me want to be with him again. But not now, not now when I am so ruined. I will probably let time pass until I am ready to look for him. That is only if he wants me then.
I hung the ring on the necklace around my neck and went down to Rebecca. It fit perfectly there, around my neck.
In the living room, Rebecca was helped by Mike and Noah. They carefully placed the plates on the table. They seemed like a happy family in every way. They both loved each other madly, already had a child and another on the way, lived in a beautiful house and each had the job they dreamed of.
“Hey, Kitty! I am glad you left the room. Come, help us set the table!!” Mike urged me, happy to see me in a better place.
“Hey! Sure! How are you, Noah?” I stroked the little one's head.
“Mike, I think you should tell her.” Rebecca’s voice came from the pantry.
“Yeah, right! I have the hard task here. Hmm, if you do not mind, I invited Jake to dinner. I mean, I did not even know you were leaving the room today and joining us for dinner, and Jake needs to come and discuss something about the case.” his gaze seemed so guilty, he didn't even look at me when he said the words.…
I thought Jake had gone to London, that he had gone there for good. He had said goodbye.
I had to realize that there were 5 seats arranged on the table. Rebecca, Mike, Noah, me and one more.
“Hey!! Do not worry! You don’t have to stop doing things on my account, and I am okay seeing him” I answered, clearing my throat.
At least he is a person I would like to see…
And I really cannot wait to see him now that this came up. I was in a strange state, but at that time I felt good to see him, I needed to see Jake. And I was glad for the first time since he came back into my life that I would see him.
We kept chatting about what I missed while I was locked in my room, and it was nice to hear happy things.
The doorbell brought me back to reality, and I knew Jake was here. I felt like a teenager, my heart beating fast, and my palms sweating. “Calm down, Kate! Don’t stumble yourself, or he will notice!” I said to myself.
“ I got it!” I told them and went to open the door.
Mike and Becca smiling at each other while I head to the door.
Jake’s face was completely surprised to see me, and I smiled at him, wanting to be wrapped up in his arms and keep me safe.
“Kate…” he said stumbling.
“Hey! Come in! it’s nice to see you!”
“It is? I was not sure if I should come here, knowing you are here, and you do not want to see me. I mean, our last conversation kinda hit the point.”
“Things changed since our last conversation, and I am not the same.”
“I know, just wasn’t sure about it.”
“Jake, mate! Come in!” Mike interrupts us.
“Hey, man! Thanks for having me here! Happy to see you all again.”
“No, we should thank you taking over the case, no one is good as you are, even if your friend tried to help us. But we wanted you. You know your stuff better the anyone!”
“Sure, I am actually sorry for letting you down, guys! My friend Is a great lawyer, but things became difficult with the new accusations from the other part, and you must have more tactic to reach where you want. That is why I postponed my trip to London. Made arrangement there so I am covered while I am away.”
“We really appreciate you; you know. You are a good friend!” Mike stated.
The dinner went smoothly, they talked about the case and everything, and I stayed quiet not sure what to say. I have been away so long, missed on so much, was better for me to stay away from the discussion they had and just observe.
After dinner, Rebecca went upstairs with Noah to get him ready for bed, and Mike got a call from the office and retired to his office, leaving me with Jake to clean the table.
While we were washing the dishes, Jake dared to say his first words. During dinner, he only talked to Mike about sports and other topics. He tried to avoid me as much as he could.
I turned to him, staring into his eyes, I didn't know what to say to him, and neither did he.
The next second, I woke up in his arms, resting my head on his chest. It smelled so good, and his strong arms held me tight. For the first time since the accident, I felt protected. Streams of tears ran down my cheeks, and he tried to calm me down. He led me to the terrace, and we sat in the swing.
“Forgive me, Kate! Forgive me for not being able to be with you then, to take care of you. None of this would have happened. Now you were happy, and you could have even…. "
He did not have the strength to continue, to tell me that I could even hold the baby growing in me.
“It’s OK now! That is how was meant to be! Hold me in your arms, please! I need it!”
I asked him.
We both hugged in the swing, without saying anything to each other. All I needed was to hold me and gently caress my hair. Now that I think about it, Becca’s idea was a good one to pay a visit to the beauty salon today.