I hated that needle and I hated the nurse who, nonchalantly and without much talk, stuck it in my vein.
"And ready, miss Ferguson! It was nothing at all." The nurse was smiling when she finished the work as if she had given me a massage and now I would be in the ninth heaven, while I was still twisting in pain. With a simple movement of her fingers, she opened the tourniquet, and put it back in the box full of other tourniquets, sticking a patch on the area where she had just drilled my vein.
She was a lady in her sixties, with brown hair in a bun. Anyway, she was nice, only today, she seemed to me to be the biggest bitch on the planet.
"Ready, baby! Now we can go home quietly and relax.
John sat next to me in the doctor cabinet, despite the nurse's efforts to ask him to wait outside. For nothing in the world, he would not give up, but the nurse did so as soon as John gave her a seductive smile, telling her how such a nice lady could prove such a lack of indulgence. He was silent all these minutes, but he didn't take his eyes off me.
"Shouldn't you be at the office today? I know I won't come today, but you?"
"I already called my father, while you were in the shower at home and I solved it. Now, tell me what you wanted us to do? Whatever your heart desires." clasping his hands, as in a prayer, he bent his knees to reach my level. He was worn out now that he will know if anything is wrong with me. I would have liked to ease all this worry, and tell him exactly what the problem is, but no such thing. I quickly pushed this thought out of my mind.
"First, I'd like to go eat something. It's almost noon now. You didn't let me have my breakfast" I scolded him, then I gave him a short kiss, as a sign that it didn't contain much.
I took my coat from the hanger as fast as I could, and left that room, whose pungent smell of sanitary alcohol and disinfectant made my stomach turn.
"The result of the analyzes will be ready in two days. We will notify you when you need to come to pick it up." the nurse informed us as she collected the blood tubes.
"Thank you!" John greeted her politely, and closed the door behind him.
"I’ll be seeing you!" His voice echoed in my ear as I tried to arrange my rebellious strands coming out of the bun.
"I love you! You know that, don't you?" I was enchanted by the man who warmed me with his body every night and offered me his unconditional love. I was standing in front of the mirror in our bedroom, with a wide smile on my face, almost still watching him, while he hummed "I'll be seeing you" dressed only in his white shirt, tie tied in a loose knot and boxers.
With big but slow steps, he sat down next to me on the bench in front of the dressing table.
"Honey, if we shouldn't have left in ten minutes, believe me you were mine now." His fingers rubbed over my abdomen, examining me tenderly. "Now and here!" His hands continued to move, without restraint, despite the fact that time was not in our favor. His eyes kept looking at me, he had the gaze of a lion catching a good prey. I could see the small sparks of desire burning in his big brown eyes.
"Ten minutes? "I shrugged, as if the party we were expecting was not an impediment.
"We can be late, I don't think Rebecca would have anything against this, not if the delaying is the reason for my happiness, right?" I turned to him and tried to undo those few buttons of his impeccable white shirt. His scent, which drove me crazy every time, became stronger with each touch of mine. I wanted to sip it, to smell it like a wolf.
"Look, I'm already yours," I said, winking at him, while i spread my legs.
His fingers pushed the straps of my red dress aside, kissing both shoulders one by one and with each touch of his lips i became even more eager to receive him. Extending the moment, he straightened his hands, lifting the dress without haste, as if enjoying every inch of my skin, climbed to the thighs, then higher, feeling it closer.
He touched me gently, with slow movements, wanting to see me begging even more. I couldn't resist the temptation not to return the favor, touching him too, and his body reacted immediately. Through a moan of pleasure, he had confirmed this to me. I continued on my way through his thick, black chest hair, which gave access to his smooth skin. Our lips were sealed in a delicate kiss, slowly massaging my lips with my tongue, then starving for more, his tongue his way to my mouth, sucking it, discovering it and possessing it completely. Our desire had reached peaks that we could hardly control. My hand continued its unhindered path to his manhood, as his breathing became heavier and heavier, turning his gaze into a troubled and thirsty one. As if by magic, he grabbed my thighs with his strong hands, pulled me over him on the floor. I felt his hard, soft and juicy cock ready for me once he entered. I moaned of pleasure and started to move on him back and forth. Each time i moved deeper and deeper, wanting him inside me offering me pleasure. He grabbed my ass checks with his hands, bending his knees so he can be the one in charge now even if i was on top, and slammed me quicker and quicker. In the silence of the room i could only hear the sound out body made and our own moans, who became more a pleasure scream. He grabbed my left breast with one hand, and squeezed it gently. He was now pounding me with large moves, not taking an inch out, touching me in the right spot and i was ready to come and he could feel it too. He came loudly inside me, holding me tight to his chest, caressing me. I searched for his neck, which I kissed incessantly, tugging my head lightly back, and stuck my fingers in his black hair, where they remained trapped even after we had both reached the climax. We both fell exhausted on the carpet. My fingers drew circles on his chest, and he stroked my cheek with his index finger. After moments of silence, inhaling air in his chest, he turned to me with a sad look.
"Kate? How would I handle if you ever leave me? I would not bear not to know you next to me, not to see your things thrown everywhere, not to see you smile at me in the morning when we wake up, not to smell your pillow? How could I? His annoyed and serious tone made me immediately sit up, staring at him. After making love, I never expected him to think that way.
"John, why are you thinking about these things? What do you want?" I was amazed that such thoughts crossed his mind, I feel very intrigued by where such ideas were born.
He got up too, and pulled me into his arms. He gripped my chin with his index finger and thumb so he could look me in the eye. His eyes were sad and downcast, his hoarse voice echoing in the room, only after he had moistened his lips and swallowed hard.
"Honey! Don't take it as it is, just that I haven't loved anyone so much that I want to breathe every inch of your skin. Believe me, women court me wherever I go in the delegation, in the country or abroad, but I am not interested! You changed me. You changed me and I love you for it! But I still haven't learned how to breathe without you and believe me, that's not what I want." He was standing in front of me, with tears in his eyes, and his hands now covered my face.
"I didn't change you, John!" I pulled her hands off my face and headed for the window, not before I put my dress back on. " Love changed you. The fact that I made you love me and that you found something in me that you can love, changed you! Probably, you found in me an anchor that you are ready to hold, and if it will be needed, and you will want it, I will try to be your anchor until I give my last breath." He sat now on the edge of the bed, while his gaze fixed on the floor on the spot we made love. I felt guilty to know him like that, knowing that probably because of my behavior in the last days, he started to have doubts. He wanted us to get married and to live the rest of our lives together loving each other, I noticed this from the moment he offered me the ring on the terrace, and the desire was mutual, I wanted to tell him that I don't know how to breathe without him too, I wanted to tell him how long the days are and the nights as well when he was away on delegations, I wanted to tell him about all my nightmares, and how much I feared he might one day easily deceive me and then leave me. He was a man who would make any woman give in to him in less than a minute, he had charisma, flair and above all, he was incredibly attractive. But no one knew that apart from his physique, his soul was a thousand times more attractive.
"You loved me and that's why you changed. You don't love me for changing you." I cut him short, just as he wanted to say something else, but then his lips tightened again.
" Now I think it's time to go!" my tone has become cold.
We didn't say a word all the way. I preferred silence to words. I'd rather scream in pain than tell him something that might make him even more upset than he was. He also knew this, but he did not shy away from being a gentleman when he opened the car door on the companion's side, or to show gestures of affection, putting his hand over my knee and passing over his thigh, and when not he did this, he held my hand, but he did not take his eyes off the road for a moment.
It was six o'clock in the afternoon, when we arrived at Rebecca. The thick barbecue smoke from the garden behind the house made its way to the cloudy sky, rippling in the wind. It was a cold December evening like all the other 10 days of December that had been until now, and I could only feel it now. Many cars were parked in front of her house, and I couldn't help but wonder if one was Jake's, too, but I immediately dismissed that thought. We entered the house without ringing the doorbell, and headed for the living room, after we put our coats on the hanger.
Unknown faces were everywhere and it was clear that not everyone knew each other, and thus, groups with common points were formed already. As soon as I could see Rebecca, I grabbed John by the hand, pulling him toward me. But he stopped me, and with a movement like a cat, he pressed his body to mine, subtly whispering in my ear.
"Honey, don't completely ignore me tonight. I need you!" At the sound of his words, my knees softened, if it weren't for him supporting me, I could very well have slipped like melted cheese through his arms. I need you so much, John! My fiance! Any trace of annoyance disappeared from the moment his words drifted slightly to my ears. Instinctively, I looked at him. His eyes emanated so much kindness and love, I wanted him more than ever.
Suddenly, Rebecca's voice distracted me.
" Kate!"she said this cheerful and well-disposed, heading for us.
"Hello, Rebecca! Sorry for the delay." I greeted her, clearing my throat.
"John, what a pleasant surprise! And I suppose that congratulations are required.
I always knew that you two would end up together, even if I have some objections regarding your relationship, but I'm very happy for you guys."
Rebecca was a good friend, I loved her like a sister, and we cared about each other, but I disliked her when she tried to tease John with subtle remarks about his jealousy.
"Congratulations to you too. Katherine gave me the news and I'm glad for you, even at such difficult times. Kate also informed about this too, beside the wedding" hearing John's words c Rebecca changed her mood abruptly.
"Yeah! Don't remind me, please! We've been through enough so far, and we've decided that we should see what will happened in time, instead of wasting it out of pity. Noah is a special child, and that's why we fight with any weapon we have to keep him. By the way, thank you for your offer, Kate told me you offered to help us with a lawyer. " John nodded, smiling.
"Talking about the kiddo, where's our superhero? I intervened, feeling that this conversation did not lead somewhere good, but only made the situation even more weird and strange.
"He's out with Mike. He offered to keep the boys company. Come on, get comfortable!" She pushed us both slightly from behind to his spacious living room, carefully arranged, with practical but elegant furniture. A large peach-colored carpet sat in the middle of the room, making it even more welcoming than it was.
Her kitchen was separated from the living room only by a half-height wall, on which were carefully placed fruit bowls and various chips.
"Drinks are at the bar, if you want something to drink." And she straightened his hand to guide us in his direction. Rebecca had apologized for a few minutes of absence, during which she had to check the condition of the steak on the grill, and John offered to bring me a glass of wine.
On the way to the bar, John recognized a couple. The guy was a loyal customer of his company, with whom he had done profitable business, John informed me after they left. He had a company that processed wood from the forest environment, but also a militia for planting trees where deforestation took place. His wife was a woman the same age as me and was waiting for their first baby to be born. It seemed to be in the last trimester, according to the size of her belly, which her husband did not stop stroking all this time.
John squeezed gently my hand, and from time to time he gave me sweet looks and irresistible smiles, and as if by a reflexive gesture, I couldn't help but return his smiles.
After a while, the sliding glass door leading to the garden opened, letting the cold air in from outside. Shivers covered my whole body, shivers that were certainly not because of the cold, but because of him. His presence in that room was like going back in time, and I realized that when our eyes met, mine and Jake's.
He looks physically unchanged, but had he changed anything inside after so long? That was a mystery that would have to stay that way for me.
"I'm glad to see you again!" His face was full of joy, delight. The smile almost didn't fit on her face anymore. And his voice resounded throughout the room.
I could hear his voice, I could see his face, but I couldn't answer.
"Kate? Are you feeling alright?" John was still by my side, holding me even tighter now.
"Sure!" I answered swallowing hard, I muttered a greeting to Jake only when I recovered from the panic that had taken over me. Memories from our last meeting came back to my mind, like lightning passing through the sky in summer.
It had become an embarrassing situation for me, I can't imagine how John felt, but after his puzzled my frowning look he became slightly suspicion.
"John! This is Jake, an old friend. Jake, he's my fiancé." They shook hands strongly and long, but politely. Jake's smile had never faded from his face all this time, as if it was untouched, i noticed that his hair had the same haircut, maybe just a few expression wrinkles had appeared in the meantime, but they were imperceptible. He looked like 6 years had never passed over him.
I prayed that he will not tell John that we had actually been lovers, but if he will say something, he should says also that he was the coward who cheated and left me, and John will laugh in his face, telling him what a fool he was.
After a moment of silence, Jake decided to break the ice.
" It's been an eternity since I've seen you. You look great, Kitty!" and with an impulse, he turned his arms towards me, embracing me in a strong grip. Just a moment of touch was enough to remind me of absolutely everything from the texture of his hair or the smell of his skin. The scent was still the same, it emitted citrus vapors in the air and now I had the impression that they were impregnated on me.
John was about to burst, boiling over low heat like a kettle of water set for tea on a frosty day.
Once released from Jake's grip, I grabbed John arm, but I didn't get any reaction from him. He stood impassive, staring at Jake, who couldn't take his eyes off me, and completely ignored the man next to me as if he didn't exist.
"Katherine, I think it's time to go." His glacial tone made my hair flutter and Jake's smile fade away.
-"I see you've finally bump to.each other!" Rebecca chuckled as she brought a tray of steaks from outside, referring to me and Jake.
"We're just leaving. Good evening!" John cut it short as he aimed at the hanger where we had left our coats to take them from. Left behind, I pulled Rebecca aside, scolding her for warning me of Jake's presence at her party.
"And if I have told you, what would have you done?"
"I would have preferred to stay home and avoid such an unpleasant situation. Enjoy your evening and pleasant company!" I answered her fiercely and angrily.
It was my girlfriend who did this to me, she already knew what I thought about seeing him again, and yet, she didn't care about my feelings. But most of all, what damage it could have done to my relationship. And, the story won't end here, knowing for sure that John will ask for explanations and will want to know who that friendly man was.
On the way home he didn't say a word to me, but I didn't dare do that either. I felt guilty about Jake's reaction, I wish I could enter the land of shame.
I felt angry, he was driving without caring about the speed, which he suddenly changed. He was always cautious, but now he was unleashing his excess of rage.
I looked at him with scared eyes, wishing I could tell him something. But, I did not dare, and even if I did, I could not articulate a word because the tears would have stumbled immediately.
I entered the apartment, and John followed me. The front door slammed so hard I startled.
" Tell me! He hasn't taken his eyes off you all night. Who is he?" he asked me the last question, roaring, his voice trembling.
His eyes were red and wet and he kept looking at me fearfully. He went to the bar, where he poured himself a glass of whiskey, which he immediately poured down his throat. "He is nobody!" I answered in a low voice.
"How's nobody? Kate, don't lie to me! Tell me! I ask you to tell me!" He slammed his empty glass on the table, headed for the window, where he rested his arm and forehead on the glass window.
I couldn't look at him, let alone talk to him. I was ashamed of myself, and I rebuked myself for not being able to tell him the truth.
"I would have killed him with my bare hands, if I hadn't had my conscience. You are mine and I will not allow anyone to seize you! Now, tell me, who is it?" In the madness of the moment, I wanted to get rid of that look of his, for the first time I saw him taken to the height of madness. Yes, he had been jealous before. Yes, we have had discussions on this topic before, but I have never challenged it. Now, knowing that it is rightly unleashed, I myself would have liked to strangle that ungrateful person.