When I got home Tara had already picked out exactly what we were going to wear. I knew inviting her was a bad idea but she was right I needed to get out and do something before I went crazy this semester. She had already showered and was almost completely dressed, so it was no surprise that she was rushing me into the bathroom to do the same. I tried to convince myself that this was a good thing but the more I thought about it the less excited I got. Don't get me wrong, I like to have a good time but I've never been a popular person so parties in general never crossed my mind.
After I finished showering, Tara had everything ready to fix my hair and makeup and was looking through her shoes for the perfect pair to go with her outfit. I sat in the chair and started blow drying my long brown hair when she came running over and grabbed it out my hand. She never let me do it myself because she said I made it frizzy so rather than argue I let her do her thing. An hour later we were ready to go and my nerves had my belly churning.
We pulled up to a two story house with huge wooden Greek letters on the lawn. There were people everywhere outside and it looked like inside was just as crowded. Tara stopped to talk with some people so I made my way into the house for a drink.
"Hi Britt, I'm so glad you came!" Said Anyla, one of the students I met while cooking, pulled me into a hug then handed me a red solo cup filled with a fruity mixture.
I smiled and said "Thanks for inviting me but is there anything stronger?" Handing her the cup back and looking around for anything other than some preppy little girl drink.
She started laughing and grabbed my hand pulling me towards a door. She opened it and led me down the stairs to a quieter room with a pool table and a bar in the corner. There were so many bottles of top shelf alcohol it almost made me dizzy. She walked around it, grabbed a bottle of vanilla crown and a glass, poured some in it and handed it to me. I threw it back then placed the glass back down. She looked at me with a questionable look but I just nodded my head for another round.
"Having a rough night?"
I spun around when I heard his voice, hoping it wasn't him but when I met his eyes I couldn't help but feel excited that he was actually here. I blinked a few times trying to remember what he asked me when he stepped closer causing me to back up against the wooden ledge. He leaned forward, bringing his lips so close to mine that I could see the soft pink color perfectly and longed to press mine against his. He lifted his arm and rested it behind me and I couldn't help but think this was it, he was going to kiss me, he was getting closer and I licked lips in anticipation but instead he pulled back holding my refilled glass in his hand.
A deep blush crept along my face and down my neck and embarrassment filled my mind. I grabbed the glass, shooting it back and slammed it down he behind me never breaking eye contact with him. Then I brushed past him and marched back up the stairs. I've never felt more flustered and pissed off at the same time and I just wanted to go home but I couldn't find Tara anywhere. I pulled out my phone and text her.
Me: Not feeling too well. Think I'll catch a cab back home.
Tara: Do you want me to come with you?
Me: No. Stay and have fun. Just text me when you leave.
Tara: Ok but if you start feeling worse let me know. GN, LU!!
I walked to the door, pushing my way through drunk students who were groping each other while they danced. Others were dry humping on the couch and some were passed out on the lawn. I rolled my eyes as I stepped over them and had just reached the sidewalk when I felt someone grab my hand.
"Leaving so soon?"
My irritation must have been visible because he let go of my hand and placed his hands in his pockets.
"Yeah, this really isn't my crowd so I'll just go leave on my own before I have to be taken home again." I said feeling the anger from our last encounter coming back to the surface.
"I was just making sure you didn't do anything you would regret, Brittany."
"How do you know I would have regreted it? Huh! You don't know anything about me Ethan and let's be honest, you don't want to. So go back inside to your little love sick puppies and let one of them be the pathetic little girl you need, because that's not me."
He wrapped his hand around the nape of my neck and pulled me to him so hard that my breasts smashed against his chest knocking the wind from my lungs and letting a rush of air escape my lips. Taking advantage of my open mouth he covered my awaiting lips with his and kissed me hard, slipping his tongue inside my mouth, teasing and swirling it around mine. His other hand cupped my cheek as his kiss became more urgent, anguished, like it was the last kiss he would ever receive on Earth. I felt the heat rush to my core and tingles begin to encase my clit, causing me to clench my thighs together to ease the pain.
My mind was a jumble of thoughts, trying to process the next step but in an instant his lips were gone, leaving instead the bitter, cold air to replace the loss of his kiss, sending agonizing shivers down my arms. I wrapped them around myself as he walked away dragging his hands through his hair.
"I'm sorry Brittany. I shouldn't have done that."
My heart was aching from his hot and cold attitude. I knew he was in a completely different league than me but just having someone like him even pay attention to me made me feel special, until he realized that I wasn't good enough for him.
"I'm going home. Please stay away from me Ethan, I may not be good enough for you and the way you're acting is only giving me a headache. I think it's best if we pretend like we never met."
I started walking down the sidewalk towards town, I didn't know where I was going but I just needed to get away from here. I have too many things to worry about and Ethan shouldn't be one of them, especially when I'm about to give my virginity to some total stranger. That is if I get picked, but with the way my luck was going I'm sure I'd be too pathetic for even them and they would reject my application.
Before I knew it hot tears were streaming down my face and falling onto my arms that were still clutched around my body. How did this happen? Ever since I filled out that survey my life has become a world wind of disappointments, the only thing that I still had going for me was Culinary school and I'll be damned it I fail at that. Cooking is the only thing that made me feel good, especially when I was home by myself practically my whole life. I knew my parents loved me but they were so busy trying to make money and push it off on me, thinking it would make me happy, that they couldn't see how wrong they were. I just wanted to spend time with them, which is why I started cooking in the first place.
The tears rushed faster down my cheeks as I picked up my pace, practically running to town. I spent my whole life trying to prove myself to everyone that I hadn't fully accepted who I was myself but tonight made me see that people are always going to let you down no matter what. I have always been a go-getter, take life by the horns type of girl, and being in charge of everything was the only way I could control my fate. I didn't need anyone else to make it happen for me, I was going to do that.
But sometimes being in control was lonely, it made people depend too heavily on you and hid the pain and struggles that you actually went through. It caused your heart to harden and your mind to shift to one-way thinking and it was exhausting keeping it together all the time in front of people. Just once, I wanted to lose control, just give it all up for a moment and let someone else hold the puppet strings for a while. Give myself some peace and hope they would take away all the worry and stress, letting me breathe for once.
When I finally reached town, I walked straight into the all night coffee shop and sat down in the corner trying to compose myself. I couldn't call a cab just yet because I wasn't ready to go home and face reality, alone. I got up and ordered a latte and a biscotti then returned to my seat, slipping my shoes off and tucking them underneath me. Coffee always made me feel better no matter what and being here in this cozy chair was already lifting my mood.
My phone buzzed with a text.
Tara: Hey don't wait up, met a guy, going to his place 🥵🥵.
Me: Please be careful! LU
Tara: You know I always am! BTW, what happened between you and Mr. pissy pants?
Me: Nothing, he's an ass and there will never be anything between us.
Tara: Sure didn't look like it to me! I saw you two locking lips 💋💋💋
Me: It was a mistake and I don't want to talk about it.
Tara: Ok but don't be surprised if he comes back for more!!!!!
Me: Why? I'm not his type and he made it pretty clear he felt the same way after he kissed me.
She never responded so I assumed her flavor of the night had her occupied. I put my phone down and wrapped my hands around the mug taking a long sip. I didn't care if I ever saw him again because my heart was too fragile to be broken once more.
Poor Britt! Will she ever let anyone in?
Does she really think giving her virginity to some random guy was a good idea?
I smell something crazy brewing!!!