Secrets Are Bad
After I walked into the locker room, I stopped before my locker and just stared. I couldn't believe how fucked up I had made everything and I had a horrible feeling things were about to get worse. I had to come clean with Ethan before he wanted to start hands on training me and find out he had been involved in a plot to train his girlfriend unbeknownst to him.
I pulled my cap and wig off and threw them in my bag when an angry voice rang out behind me.
Every cell in my body went into panic mode. I couldn't breathe, my throat was closing up on me and when I turned around I felt devastated. He was fuming, his shoulders were bouncing up and down and his breaths were coming out in pants. I could see the hurt in his eyes but I was so ashamed I couldn't speak.
"I-I." I stuttered, trying to get the words out but he just stared at me with cold eyes and walked right past me towards the door. "Please, Ethan. Let me explain."
"What, Brittany, what do you have to say? How could you possibly explain hiding this from me?"
The words got caught in my throat but thankfully, Mistress came barging into the locker room. Her eyes darted from Ethan to me then back and forth until he said, "Did you know about this?"
I could tell she was just as terrified as I was as she stood there trying to think of what to say. He looked between the two of us then walked out the door. Mistress ran after him but I was still standing there naked so I tried to get dressed as fast as I could after they left.
I could hear them arguing in the hallway. "How could you keep something like this from me? Do you realize you BOTH broke the cardinal rule of this world?"
"Zeus, she did it for you. She wanted to be your sub but she didn't want you to know. I did it because I wanted you to be you again."
"And you let her go on with this lie, knowing I wanted nothing more to do with training?"
"You needed this, Zeus. Don't lie and say you weren't thinking about it because I saw the look in your eyes the first day you met her. This is your life, this is where you belong."
"You both lied to me." He said before he stormed off.
I had just gotten my leggings on but I was too late. I pushed the door to the locker room open as I saw him walking out the front door. I tried to run after him but Mistress stopped me.
"Let him cool off."
"NO! I have to talk to him. I have to explain."
"He will not listen to reason right now, trust me. Let him go. Give him a few days and he will come around."
I ran past her, ignoring her request and pushed the door open only to see him speeding out the parking lot.
"ETHAN! STOP. PLEASE, STOP!" I screamed after him but he just kept driving.
I grabbed my cell phone from my purse and dialed his number. No answer. I hung up and dialed again but he kept hitting ignore. I decided to get in my car and go after him but the snow was starting to fall and I figured it wouldn't be a good idea, especially since I hadn't put my snow tires on. I got in and drove to my house, continuing to call him constantly until it went to voicemail every time, indicating that he turned it off.
Tears rolled down my cheeks every time he didn't pick up and even though I knew he wouldn't want to talk to me, I still needed him to know I was sorry and I wanted to explain.
I dialed his number again and sighed when I heard his voice on the voicemail. "Ethan, please answer me. Please. I'm so sorry about all of this and I should have told you earlier but I was so worried that you wouldn't like me. I wanted to do this for you. Please, call me back."
I hung up, sobbing as I held the phone in my hand while sitting in my driveway completely devastated that I had fucked up so bad and didn’t know where he was. I had to go find him so I drove to his house but his car wasn't there. I tried the office but no luck there either. I drove around the entire city as the snow began to fall harder, nearly getting stuck twice when I decided to just go home and wait until the weather passed to continue searching.
"Please, please let him be ok." I silently prayed as I pulled back into my driveway and headed for the front door.
Tara was already on a plane headed to Aspen so I was all alone and I didn't know if I would be able to handle it. As soon as I opened the door to the house, I collapsed. Curled into a fetal position, I wept loudly. Pain creeping in my chest as it tightened from the sorrow within. How could I have been so stupid and selfish. I should have just told him from the beginning or even just asked him to train me and none of this would have happened. What have I done?
I remained on the floor until I finally fell asleep from crying and only awoke when I heard the electricity go off from the storm. I picked myself up from the floor and curled onto the couch, grabbing a blanket to stay warm. We didn't have a generator nor did we have gas or propane heaters so I would just have to suffer for the next few hours until the power came back on.
Laying there, I stared into the darkness as I continued to call Ethan's cell, only to get his voicemail every time. I left a dozen more messages before I fell back asleep. There was nothing more I could do until he cooled down and once he did, I was going to be there explain everything.
The next morning, my phone rang waking me from my sad slumber and I quickly answered it, "ETHAN?"
"No bitch, it's Tara."
"Hey, uh, did y'all make it to Aspen?"
"No, we had to land in Montana due to the storm. All the flights have been cancelled for at least two days. How are you doing? I know the electricity went out, its not too cold is it?"
"I-I'm fine." I said in a hoarse tone.
"Are you ok? You sound like you're getting sick or something."
I couldn't help the sobs as I thought about last night and I started crying again.
"Britt, what happened? Do I need to come home and kill someone?" She said in a hushed tone.
"I messed up, Tara. I messed up bad."
"Britt, stop crying and tell me what happened. Is it Ethan?"
"Yes. He found out, Tara. He f...." I started bawling again, snot running down my face as I ugly cried on the phone.
For the next hour, I told her everything and she just kept reassuring me just like Mistress had. She tried to get me to calm down but I was instantly in panic mode when I still hadn't heard from Ethan. After she tried to get me to stop crying she finally gave up and told me to go back to bed and that she would call me later.
I hung up with her then immediately began calling Ethan's phone again. It was still going to voicemail so I left him another message. I was starting to get worried that something had happened to him so I got in my car, happy for the heat and drove around the city again. I passed again by his house, the office and the club but there was no sign of him.
Giving up for the morning, I went back home just as the snow started to fall again on the previously cleared roads. Once I was inside, I made myself some hot cocoa on the stove. I left the fire on to help warm the place up then went to the living room and wrapped a blanket around me. My body was aching from sleeping on our lumpy couch but I welcomed the pain. It was my fault this happened and I didn’t deserve to be fine right now. I deserved the silent treatment he was giving me but I was still worried about him.
When noon rolled around and still hadn’t gotten a call, I picked up my cell and rang Mistress but I didn’t get a response from her either. I’m sure she was just as pissed at me for getting her wrapped up in this whole ordeal. After all, they were friends and I forced her to betray him. I wouldn’t doubt it if she blackballed me entirely. Not knowing where he was had started to take its toll on me so I continued to call his cell for the rest of the afternoon.
I was stuck inside due to the weather but I wasn’t giving up just yet. I needed to talk to him, to make him see how sorry I truly was if he would just give me a chance. Goodness knows I would do anything if he would just talk to me.
A little past five, the weather was beginning to get bad again and the sky had darkened. My battery powered radio alerted me to a severe weather event in my area and advised everyone to seek shelter, potentially for the next few days and all I could think about was if Ethan was ok or not. Tara still hadn’t called me but she was safe in Montana so I was grateful for that but I just needed to know about Ethan.
So the truth came out and it wasn’t pretty. Now Ethan isn’t responding to her and is nowhere to be found while Mistress is ignoring her calls as well. A blizzard has hit their town and she is stuck inside all alone. Will Ethan ever call her back or has she messed up so bad that she can’t redeem herself?