Have you ever felt a deep loss from losing someone who was never really yours? Have you fought back the tears that force themselves into your vision watching them choose someone else? Someone who they choose not for romantic reason but because they felt they owed them more of an explanation than they owed you? No.. Neither have I until I met Nathan Hail. I didn’t think of myself as the main character or starring role of anything until I saw the huge impact I
I am a very frequent reader of love stories from the greatest novels in history to the recently released best sellers. None of these stories prepared me for this type of heartbreak. It wasn't until years later and too little too late did I realize that maybe... Just maybe he felt regret in leaving me behind. At as early as sixteen I thought that I had all the answers. Truth is I didn't and I never will. I can't explain why certain people effect our lives in such a strong way. Looking back on the way things unfolded I find it hard to believe that I didn't see him coming and consuming me. My thoughts, my dreams.
Ive always believed in enjoying the finer things in life which to me are alot more simple than they seem. Like finishing a really good novel that I couldn't put down only to start another one. Having really good laughs with my sisters. Spending a hour in a bubble bath sipping wine. Sitting on my porch just to enjoy the setting sun. But it's craving something as simple as the sound of someones voice. I didn't understand my love for him until his voice was the sound I was missing the most. Until I couldn't remember even what his voice sounded like. Or maybe it's the way he touched me without using his hands. The way he could always see into the deepest part of my heart. I wish I could explain his eyes and how the sound of his laugh making my heart race. His smile sent a warmth into my heart that I can't put into words even now. He was so brilliant and passionate about the things that he loved. I used to love to listen and watch him explain things to me and other people. The way his eyes on me made me feel like I was the only one in the room even when he was trying his best to ignore me. I used to watch him at parties playing beer pong and throwing his head back and laughing it was my favorite sight. He had a way of telling me what I needed to hear the way I need to hear it.
Honestly to me he was the other half of me that is missing. But to tell this story correctly we will have to start at the beginning back when it was just a game of cat & mouse. This is our story, and my biggest heartbreak..