Irrevocably You

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Touching her has changed the way I see the consequences of my actions. She clouds my judgement! I tried to stay away but after having a taste of her I want more. Grazing my lips down her neck my mouth hungry for more. She smells like sweet honey enjoying breathing her in and her body is so responsive to my touch. I pull back from Kathryn enough to see her face eyes closed and her hands had been fisted in my hair as I nipped at the tender spots on her shoulder. She opens her eyes and says breathlessly "Not here. Bedroom." As she gestures to the door to the right of the couch. I stand as she does her back is to me. I wrap my arms around her and keep her close to me.

She pauses when we get to the closed door. She's overthinking this whole situation that's not what I want. I lean around her and kiss her on the jawline. She opens the door and turns to me pulling me onto the queen sized bed. The room only lit with string lights around the headboard. Her lips find mine again as my tongue enters her parted lips we are in sync our bodies moving together toward the pillows. Pulling my shirt off then hers. I study her intently wanting to kiss and touch every part of her tanned skin. Trailing my finger from her collar bone down to her hip. "Nathan" my name sounds so sweet coming from her lips barely over a whisper. They are pink and puffy from our continuous kissing. Sliding down to her waist removing the rest of her clothes and mine. She's watching me we don't break eye contact. Kathryn's soft hands meet my face pulling me in so close to hers my nose brushes her cheek bone and into her hair. Feeling her body against mine with no barriers she fits so perfect. Moving my hands down to her thighs I enter her she's so ready for me. Over and over I am pushing my limits. Kathryn maybe just be the key to my undoing. As we come to our release together. She lays a kiss on my shoulder sighing as she slides from under me. I lay next to her my eyes closed listening her breathing go from jagged to relaxed. I open my eyes looking at her in the small amount of light in the room her eyes closed. I take her in memorizing the curves of her face, freckles framing it and her hair laying out on the pillow. I drag my thumb along her pouty bottom lip she doesn't even stir. Moving my hand to her cheek and into her hair line behind her ear. She's asleep. Some part of me wishes she wasn't while another part of me wishes she would fight me and push harder. I don't know what I would do if she would have said she didn't want me. Even thinking it now makes my heart hurt.

It's now 1 am I get up to redress myself quietly so I don't wake her. Kissing her on her forehead lingering just a little while longer. I walk out the bedroom lock the front door. Getting into my truck and I'm on the road my mind working overtime. I can't imagine her walking away or turning me down. It would ruin me and possibly my ego. I can't even begin to think about what might happen if Alex finds out what if he doesn't care. Would he understand that she quiets the chaos within me? He should understand the feeling of fighting off demons. Would anyone understand that.. I've never felt so complete or something be so easy. She takes nothing from me but gives me so much. She's constantly on my mind. She releases the tension in my mind and body. I'm not one for words I've been catching myself wanting to talk to her just to hear her voice or her laughter. I thought she would be different somehow cold, snarky and full of herself. But she is not she is passionate, her eyes are wild, I could pick her voice out of a crowned room and her personality is warm and untamed. We have this undeniable chemistry which makes me feel like I've known her forever. Other guys have always had her attention at parties and during high school. She never gave them the satisfaction of having her she belonged to no one. Watching her sing and dance to the songs playing through the speakers. Her body moving along with the rhythm. Watching Alex fume from his ears because she wanted nothing to do with him after their split. She had one weak moment with him but she didn't falter or run back. I watched her without her knowing in a room full of people no one would noticed. Alex still brings her up into conversations I usually don't comment I let him get it all out and agree that she broke him except last time. When I told him to suck it up and move on because she was going to. Not to push the knife in deeper but to give him tough love. She can't be the person his sister said she is. That I refuse to believe.

Realizing I'm sitting in my yard with the truck still running how long have I been caught up thinking? I don't even remember the drive home. I shut off the engine and go inside. I strip down to my boxer dreading the shower I can smell her on me. I grab my phone to text her to let her know I didn't just leave. "Just got home. You were sleeping so I let myself out. Talk soon." Tossing the phone on the bed and stepping into the shower. I wash quickly hearing my phone go off multiple times someone's calling. I step out wrapping a towel around my waist. Grabbing my phone off the bed Alex's name flashes on the screen. I bet he's mad as hell I didn't show up tonight for the party. It's the same old shit all the time. He texts me seconds later "Tomorrow The Pub I'm inviting Kathryn." Damn it I don't know that I can deal with this. I can't act like she doesn't exist. I reply "Sounds good!" I hate this feeling why can't I keep them both. I know there will come a day when I have to choose but it's not today.

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