Irrevocably You

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When I open my eyes it's 6 am the suns slowly coming up. My mind catching up with what happened last night. Considering I'm laying alone in my bed he's been gone for a while. I have to keep my distance from him. Nathan is already pulling at my heart strings and I can't have that. I roll over and check my phone two missed calls and four text messages. I check the phone calls first they are both from Alex. Three text are from him also and one from Nathan. I read Nathan's first deciding it doesn't need a reply. I click Alex "Kathryn give me a call." "Lets go out tonight some of the guys are going." "As friends of course." I close out the message and lock my phone screen. Maybe we can hang out and everything be fine. Wonder what guys are going.. Its not like there are a bunch to choose from. I'll respond later rolling over shutting my eyes drifting back off to sleep.

I'm woke up by the sound of someone knocking on the front door I check the clock it's 11 am. I roll out of the bed throwing my mess of hair into a high pony tail. I open the door to my surprise it's Alex. What is he doing here this early on a Saturday. My mouth is ahead of my mind. "Alex, what are you doing here?" His blue eyes meet mine which I'm sure he can tell I'm pretty annoyed "Hey I know I blew your phone up last night. But I want us to be friends. I'm tired of fighting all the time. I know that's why you stopped coming around. Just say you will go with us tonight." I don't even want to think about this "Fine I guess I'll go. But I'm driving and we leave when I say. Meet me here at 9 tonight." He instantly looks relieved "okay see you then" he's down the steps and getting Inyo his truck. I walk back inside slamming the door. What is with these guys?? I feel like I'm walking into a trap. I fill the tub up to take a hot bath. I have so much I wanted to do today. Grabbing my phone off the night stand playing my favorite Sam Hunt Station. Stripping down I step into the hot water and lower myself down "Make You Miss Me" playing quietly. Closing my eyes and trying to relieve some tension. A few minutes go by shuffling to another country song half way through my phone is ringing. I grab it and Nathan's name is on the screen I decline the call. After I am feeling slightly relieved and more in control I get out.. Throwing on a old t shirt and some light wash jeans. Running the brush through my hair. Watching movies all day is now the plan.

Thirty minutes to nine and I'm checking my appearance in the mirror. I'm wearing a little more makeup than normal a flirty white tank topped with a brown cardigan and my favorite worn jeans. Front door opens Alex comes in with Nathan close behind him. Coming out of the room I stop suddenly when my eyes met Nathan's he's wearing light washed jeans, boots, with a red and green button up shirt sleeves are folders up to his elbows. He looks so handsome. He is no longer looking at me he's focused on Alex who is now turn to me asking "Are you ready?" "Yeah I'm ready. Lets get going" I reply. Alex is wearing some similar only his shirt is blue enhancing he bright blue if his eyes. It used to be my favorite shirt he wore. His blonde hair tamed he has a beard now verses when we dated. He's shorter than Nathan and slim. "We are gonna go to The Pub, Max is waiting on us there." Alex says as we walk out the front door Nathan still not saying anything.

I start the car and we ride mostly in silence or Alex talking about landmarks as we pass them. I can even focus on him right now the tension between Nathan and I is so intense I can feel it. His presence does that to me. We arrive at our location They are talking to each other as I am walking behind them. Max come up out of no where bumping my shoulder "Hey! There she is straight out of hiding." Throwing his arm around me playfully. Nathan tenses beside me. "Yeah y'all should consider yourselves lucky I'm here!" I say looking over yo face him. Max grins his brown hair laying perfectly around his face. He's only slightly taller than me. "Still feisty I see! I'm glad you didn't lose that." He squeezes my shoulder as we walk in the building. We grab a table everyone sitting Nathan us right across from me. Throughout the night we make eye contact a few times but other than that he acts like I'm not here. Alex is his usually playful self the three of them talking back and forth between themselves over the few hours we are there. We go to leave Nathan finally speaks in the parking lot this time directly to me "You look good tonight." Turning to look at him not sure I heard him right or that he was even talking to me. He was he glances up from the ground his brown eyes deep and sad. "You can take me home to my house on the way." I just nod wanting to wrap my arms around him getting lost in him. Alex finally comes our after closing his tab. On the ride home John Mayer's "Heartbreak Warfare" come on I swear I can hear Nathan humming along in the back. I glance in the rear view mirror and see he's deep in thought. The street lights hitting his features lighting them in the most beautiful way. He only speaks while he's giving me directions not even looking towards me. We pull up to his house Alex says he needs to go to the bathroom he gets out leave Nathan and I alone "Can I meet you at your house in an hour or will he still be there." "He's not saying we are just friends. I didn't even want to come tonight." I say back quickly "Okay so I'll see you soon." He says as he gets out the car shutting the door behind him. Alex returns and we head back. "Wonder what's up with Hail he's been more brooding than normal." I brush it off only saying " I didn't notice he's sort of always quiet." Pulling up at my house I hug him bye and go inside quickly He grabs my arm as I walk away "Thanks for going tonight. I know it's not ideal but us being friends seems to be easier." With a small smile "Yeah. I guess so. Thanks for inviting me." Pulling away from him going up the steps and into the house. On second I hear his truck start and him pulling off. I shoot Nathan a text "You can come when you are ready." He responds "I'm on the way." "Just come straight in." I send back. I have to shower pulling my hair up so it doesn't get wet. I hate bars or smelling like cigarettes. Luckily we sat near a door so the smoke wasn't an issue. Towel off putting on my lavender tank sleep set an lay on the bed. Alex seemed different I don't want to give him the wrong impression things won't go back to the way they were before. I've changed to much since then. And my heart is no longer in the same place.

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