Irrevocably You

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Laying on top of him his arms wrapped around my back feels more natural than anything else. This is foreign to me. I don't get attached to anyone I date yet here we are so caught up in each other. His passion, his heart beating wildly with mine and his touch is all I need. Sitting my head up wanting to see his beautiful face. As soon as I shift he rolls me over his weight now on top of me. He's still inside me. His lips brushing against mine. I can feel him smiling as he traces my top lip with his tongue I melt into him a little bit more. Pulling my legs up around his waist as he continues to assault me in the way only he does. Slow careful strokes as if he is the creator of a masterpiece. Brushing his finger tips along my face, lips and shoulders memorizing every dip and curve in my body. He holds my gaze watching me, studying me. Every movement bring me closer to the edge. His lips crashing into mine as we both find our climax.

Completely out of breath we lay here in silence his hand wrapped in mine. Nathan takes a deep breath and says so calmly "Kathryn you might not know it but tonight I was jealous. Tonight for the first time I almost lost my cool. I can't stand seeing them touch you." I look up at him taken back by what he said "Why? They are always like that." Nathan sits up as soon as I respond his hands on my face to keep my focus on him. "Because they might not know it but you are mine. Alex had his chance I don't want him pissed at me but it feels natural with us and you can't deny that." His words sharp even though he only means them in our defense. "Nathan eventually he will find out and he is going to be mad regardless. Alex is forcing us to be friends and be around each other. He knows this can only go so many ways. And I'm not changing my mind about my status with him it's over. What's between us is just beginning don't let them ruin it." I say his face relaxes. "How can you possibly be this person when everyone says you are so much different. I've tried to keep myself away and not be affected by you but it's inevitable. We are inevitable." He says leaning his forehead against mine his hand resting on my cheek. I close my eyes still breathing him in. He lays back down on the bed pulling me with him.

"Please don't leave tonight. I'd really like for you to stay." I say into his chest. "Are you sure you want me to? I don't mind if you do." He says his voice so quiet and unsure. "Yes I'm sure. I wouldn't ask if I didn't want you to be here." I reply back quickly wanting to reassure him. He's so confident in himself most of the time but lately when he's with me he's different like he doesn't know how to navigate through this place we are in. I can't say I blame him this is new for me too. "I want you to be comfortable I haven't dated in a long time and our situation is complicated I knew that it would be before it started. It's a risk I was willing to take." He says my eyes searching his face for the true meaning behind what he said. He's so hard to read and I don't like to guess.

I climb out of the bed and go to take a shower and think a little while he's stretched out in all his glory on the bed. Starting the shower I step in not even turning on the light in the bathroom! I don't even hear him get up as the hot water pours down over me. He startles me when I feel his chest press onto my back. He leans into me and says "Let me" taking the wash cloth from my hand. He caresses every inch of my body not missing a spot. His fingers lingering on some spots more than others he's still standing behind me. Wrapping his arms around me once he's finished. I turn to face him leaning against his chest water rolling off this skin. He tilts my face up towards his. His lips touching mine softly several times before he lets go of my chin and says "Let's get out it's late." As we get out and dry off he hands me my shirt I slip it on and climb into the bed with him. He pulls me into his side we curve around each other. I turn in my side towards him wrapping my legs around his.

The idea of one person completely being it for me has never crossed my mind until this connection with Nathan. He's so much like me in the best ways. I can't imagine anyone else touching me the way he does. Or even coming close to filling the spot that he's in right now. We don't talk much when we are together his actions are always so much louder than anything he could possibly say. He is still his breathing is relaxed and peaceful. I know as soon as the sun comes up he will be gone and this moment will have ended. My heart knows deep down that's all we will have is fleeting moments. I move my hand over his chest feeling his heart beat underneath my palm. It's so easy to get caught up in what could be. As I drift off to sleep all I can think about is how much he already means to me even if I wouldn't admit it to anyone.

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