Words Can Hurt
People don't believe that words can bother you. You know the old saying "Sticks and Stones May brake my bone but words don't hurt" well that's a lie words do hurt especially when it's repeated more than once and that can make you feel horrible and guarded. I am one to guard myself once the same womb is reopened. Hunter words ringed in my ear all night "Why are you so guarded".
But if I could face to it I would go to me as a child right ..the age 11 I changed my mom was freshly married and things were going good she was happy but a few months down the line it changed the good relationship she once had was toxic and while he was with her he couldn't stand me he said I was jerk and an asshole but I didn't care. Her toxic relationship lasted 5 years and grew worse and worse I hated him for what he did to my mom and how he treated me two years in she gave birth to triplets Macy Matthew and Luke we didn't know about Luke until the birth he came out kicking. Anyways we moved out to a apartment for the safety of the kids and he filed for divorce since she wanted out so bad. It changed her the free spirit I knew was gone and darkness was born.
She blamed me for the divorce.
Nia: Had you not been such a ass to him maybe he would wanted to stay
Those words pieced like a knife I am now 16 and all I wanted all I need was my mommy be she left. But I still was a good daughter and loved her because I knew she was hurting so I said to myself with time she will get better. So I moved on got my first job and had my first boyfriend Deleon he was hot and smooth and I was attracted to him. But it wasn't long before I realized he was toxic he didn't know how to keep his dick in his pants and sadly he was my first in everything I wasted two years trying to get him love me and understand that I was all his but he didn't care and his "I'm sorry" ran out even though he made it hard to move on I did but something was still missing .. Love. Deleon even told if I would change my ways he would too because I was an asshole. I knew my problem came from my mom she had my heart until she switched on me so now every time someone flips on me once I mentally remove myself from feeling anything for them cause if my mom could do it so could anyone.
Nevaeh: Hi Macy honey!!
Macy: I miss you
Nevaeh: I miss you too. I will be back soon
Matthew: How long is soon
Nevaeh: I will be back this weekend Matt
Luke: I miss you too
Nevaeh: I miss you too Lukey Pooh
Neaveh: Y'all need to go to bed do you know what time it is
Matthew: It's only 3am
Nevaeh: Boy!!!! Go to bed all of you love y'all and see y'all when I get back
Macy, Matthew, Luke: Love you too
Just bad they better be glad I a not there. While I started to think I get a text
Oh my God should I text back I got butterflies and I am filled with so much joy oh my God!!!!
Hunter: Lily are you awake I can't sleep
Hunter: I guess you are sleep well sweet dreams
Lily: I am up.. Why can't you sleep
Hunter: ..... Can I FaceTime you
FaceTime me!!!! I mean what do he want and why do he want to FaceTime me!!
Hunter: Lily are you there?
Lily:Yes and yes
No answer for like five minutes
Then my phone lit up!!
Hunter: Hi there
Lily: You know you never answered my question
Hunter: I know
Lily: So why can't you sleep
Hunter: Just can't.. Long story
He didn't have a shirt on.. Damn
Hunter: Why can you sleep
Lily: Thinking about a lot
Hunter: Yeah that's why I try to take you out after a long day to free your mind
He did that for me .. How sweet
Lily: Thank you
Hunter: Um I wanted to talk to about something
Lily: Sure Anything
Hunter: Well I want to first apologize for being rude to when you asked me about my ex wife
Lily: Oh no I totally understand I would be the same way she past
Hunter: I could have handled that better though
Lily: I get it you loved her and it's touchy.
He looks ate for a minute then he looks down it was an awkward silent moment for a while
Lily: so when you not working what else do you do?
Hunter: I do lots of things
Hunter: Well I volunteer at a boys and girl club talking to the young boys and girls if I have time I catch a movie I draw and paint take pictures when I am hiking so I do a lot
Lily: Adventurous how sexy
He smiled and bit his bottom lip which made me do the same
Hunter: Enough about me I want to know more about you
Lily: What you want to know
Hunter: Got anymore siblings
Lily: Yes three little crumb snatchers I will have to put in a head lock this weekend
He laughed again
Hunter: How old
Hunter: All three
Lily: Yes they are triplets
Hunter: Damn Mama wasn't playing
Lily: No she wasn't
Hunter: What do you like to do
Lily: Dance , write , sing I use to watch the kids at this basketball court by where I stay but when a guy got killed they closed it so now I just catch up with the kids I see along going to my second job
Hunter: Why two jobs
Lily: Bills even though I live with my mom I try to cover some stuff and still have a little something to enjoy for myself and save
Hunter: If you could be anything in the world what would it be
Lily: A Positive Change to a lot of people
He looked at me
Hunter: That fits you and who you are
Lily: What you mean
Hunter: You are like a big ball of fairy dust sprinkling a little bit of happiness everywhere you go
Lily: You are such a gentleman and I really like that about you
I froze didn't mean to say out loud and when I looked at him he was so red it was so cute it gave me butterflies
Hunter: It feels so good to have someone to talk to with a motive
Lily: I understand
Hunter: But you have a good family background
Lily: Everything that glitters isn't gold
He looked at with worry
Hunter: What do you mean
Lily: Lets just say a lot of people cant handle my happy go luck attitude
He looks at me and I look at him
Hunter: I am usually guarded but you take those down a little at a time
Lily: You called me guarded earlier umm well you are right
Hunter: I didn't
Lily: No please it helped I keep walls built up because I don't trust easy but with you its different you are different and thanks you for that
He smiles and lay his head on his pillow
Lily: Somebody is getting sleepy
Hunter: Lay down go to sleep with me and make sure your phone is charging
So until I got sleepy I enjoyed watching him sleep he looks so peaceful then shortly after I fell asleep as well.
Belle' comes home face full of tears
Belle': I'm home
She doesn't hear anyone so she goes to turn on a light when she is grabbed with a knife to her neck
Man: Belle' Belle' Belle'
Belle' is struck with fear
Belle': Hi I am going to pay you I promise
Man: Your late and you know what happens when your late
Belle': I know I know but look I need just a little more time
Man: Time is of the essence
Belle': If you give me more time to come up with a better plan you will thank me and be so satisfied
Man: But what about I need payment now
Belle' turns and looks at the tall light skin Jamaican guy wit a scare up his eye and long blonde dreadlocks and gives him a sinister smile then she gets on her knees up zips his pants and let him have it!!
Man: Consider more time gra gra gra granted.. oh my God slow down I wanna enjoy every minute please
He says grabbing her head slowing her down.
The next morning I hear someone calling my name
Hunter: Lily oh Lily my love it's time to wake up
Lily: No I'm not ready please 5 more minutes
With the sun shining in my face I feel the covers pull-up from my feet then I feel warm big hands rub up to my hips pulling me down
Hunter: My love if you don't wake up I will have to wake you up
I pulled the cover over my face
Hunter: Okay you asked for it
Then all of a sudden I feel the heat of a wet tongue inside me and I began to moan and arch my back then he goes deeper swirling his tongue around and around followed by sucking then after a few minutes he stops wiping the corner of his mouth
Hunter: Are you up now
I gasped and popped up out my what seems to be a dream. I can't believe it did I just have a wet dream about Hunter I mean damn I just met the guy I must admit it did feel good but no no no I promised myself not to fall for the bull shit again!!!
Hunter: Um Lily
I gasped again. SHIT I am still on the phone with this man
Hunter: Lily where you go still there
Lily: Hi I am still here
Hunter: You got up so quick sounded like you had a nightmare
Lily: Did it?
Hunter: You fine. Are you okay
Lily: Yes I am good
He looks down
Hunter: It's Morning
Lily: It is
Hunter: Looks like we spent our first night together
Lily: We did I enjoyed it
Hunter: Me too
Lily: Well Good Morning
Hunter smiles and the sunlight hits his face just right where the light beams on his beautiful eyes causing them the shine more
Lily: Your so beautiful
Shit I just said that out loud I looked down
Hunter: Thank you Lily your so kind
I looked up at him in my phone
Hunter: Can we do this again sometime
Lily: I would like that
Hunter: Yeah me too. Well let me get this day started
Lily: Okay. Enjoy your day
Hunter: You too
He says as he smiles and wink at me before he hangs up
He is truly different from what I am use too but I can't I need to set some damn boundaries when it comes to him.
Nevaeh: Mom Hi!!
Nia: How are you
Nia: No issues right
Nevaeh: Nope all good
Nia: Okay when you coming home
Nevaeh: This Weekend
Nia: WOW that long why
Nevaeh: Well I am trying to get to know everyone
Nia: Yeah okay well don't forget who raised you while your there
Nevaeh: I haven't
Nia: Well I am going to drop the kids off at school.... Did you pay that bill
Nevaeh: Yes I did
Nia: Okay good I was about to say don't get down there and act all new and shit you still have responsibilities here too
Nevaeh: Yes Ma'am
Then she hangs up.
I wish things was better between us. But I love her and will always love and take care of her.