I ran from the admin building as fast as I could as tears streamed down my face. How could I let things get to this point? Nothing made sense anymore and I couldn’t figure a way out of it. I had really screwed things up and the one guy that I wanted was gone.
I heard my name being shouted, but I didn’t stop. I needed to get out of here. But Tommy was persistent and didn’t stop until he was in front of me, blocking my way.
“Hey, you okay?” He wiped my tears away before he pulled me in for a hug.
And I let my emotions get the best of me. I wrapped my arms around him as I buried my face into his chest and cried it out. We may not see eye-to-eye very often but Tommy had always been the one consistent thing in my life.
“Ssh,” he shushed as he rubbed my head. “I’ve got you, Taylor. Come on.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me away from the admin building.
His manly sweat filled my nose and I knew he was just coming back from the gym. If things were different, I’d have no problem being with Tommy. He was always a good friend, but my feelings between him and Damon were not even comparable. I needed Damon like my next breath and ached during his absence. Tommy could leave for an entire two weeks and I wouldn’t even notice. That has to say something, right?
We reached the dorm buildings and Tommy kept his arm around my shoulders, leading me upstairs to my room. I was actually extremely grateful for his presence. I didn’t want to be alone right now.
He kicked the door closed behind us as I slipped out of my coffee drenched pants and crawled into bed. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and pretend today never happened.
My sobs filled the room and I hated that Tommy was seeing me in this vulnerable state, but I also didn’t care. I was hurting.
“Hey,” he whispered as he crawled into bed behind me. His arms wrapped around me and he held me so tightly that it made it worse. I haven’t cried this hard in a long time. “Do you want to talk about it?” He whispered.
I shook my head and sniffled. “No.”
“Fair enough.” He continued to hold me until my cries weakened and only tears continued to run down my face.
I had screwed up everything and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. I could work on myself all I wanted but without Damon, there didn’t seem to be much reason. I missed him so much that it hurt.
“Do you want me to leave?” Tommy finally asked after several minutes of silence.
I shook my head. “I don’t want to be alone, but if you have something to do, then don’t let me keep you.”
“I don’t have anything to do, babe. I’m not going anywhere until I know that you’re okay.”
A smile lifted my lips as I nodded and curled further into his chest. “Thanks, Tommy, you’re a really good friend.”
He didn’t say anything and I wasn’t about to ask him about it. I knew that calling him a friend probably touched a sore spot, but that wasn’t my problem. If Tommy can’t see that I just wanted to be friends, then maybe we shouldn’t be anything. I could not and would not get into a relationship with him ever again. It was just friends, or nothing at all.
“Get some rest, Taylor, I’m not going anywhere.”
I let my eyes drift closed as I fell into a deep sleep.