The next day, I found myself at the clubhouse waiting for my dad to get here so we could discuss what to do with Mom. But he was taking much longer than he said he would be, and I was starting to get impatient.
Sliding onto the stool at the bar, Careen came over with a beer and set it down in front of me. I shook my head and pushed it away.
“I can’t have it, you know that.”
Careen nodded. “I just wasn’t sure since you’ve been drinking.”
I glared up at her. “Yeah, well I’ve decided it isn’t good for the baby anymore.” And I didn’t need her to judge me for it.
Careen winked. “Your secret is safe with me, Darlin’.”
Before I could reply, the clubhouse door swung open and Axel Kidd walked in, looked around the room, and then pointed his glare on me. He nodded toward the back before he marched across the room and disappeared down the hallway.
I slid off the stool and went in pursuit of my dad, shutting the office door behind me before I took a seat in front of him.
“What’s the verdict?” I started.
Axel sighed as he rubbed his hands over his face. “She needs help that we can’t give her. I have a call out to a rehab center in Vermont. They said they would get back to me in a day or two and then we’ll figure out what to do after that. She isn’t going to like it, Evie. Hell, she’s probably going to be kicking and screaming the whole way there.”
Nodding, I knew my mother well, and Sally definitely wouldn’t take this lightly. She hated when people told her she was sick and needed help. It was another reason why she stopped coming around the clubhouse.
“She won’t go with anyone else, so just tell me when and where, and I’ll make sure she gets there.”
Axel nodded as stress lined his features. “Onto the next set of business. What is this I hear about you being pregnant?”
All the color drained from my face. Feeling angry and betrayed, I scanned through my mind to figure out who blabbed and prayed that this news hadn’t gotten to Dusty.
“Who told you that?” I tried to play it off, but I knew I was going to have to talk to him about the one thing I wasn’t sure about myself.
“Have you forgotten who I am, Evie? I know everything around here.” He lowered his gaze to my stomach. “Whose kid is it?”
Scoffing, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Are you seriously asking me that?”
“Well, it’s known around here that you slept with both Dusty and Gearhead, so I would like to know who my grandchild belongs to.” His tone was condescending and I didn’t like it. He could be a real jerk sometimes.
“It’s Dusty’s, but he doesn’t know anything about it and I want to keep it that way.” I pointed at him with a stern face. I was not messing around here.
Axel sighed. “I thought you two figured this shit out…”
“We did. We figured out that it isn’t healthy for us to be together anymore.”
“Healthy? What kind of relationship do you expect to have being the daughter of a motorcycle club President? You’ve always been a big dreamer, Evie, and that scares me.”
It scared me even more knowing that the life I wanted for myself would never come true. At least not as long as I stayed in the Wicked Saints.
“Dusty Parker is as good as it gets for you, kid.”
I wasn’t sure if I was offended or royally pissed off at my dad for saying something like that. “So, you think it’s acceptable for your daughter to date a guy who sleeps with any woman he pleases? Are you kidding me?” I knew I wasn’t perfect by any means, but I believed I deserved better than that; better than all of this.
Axel slammed his hand down on the desk, making me jump as I sat back further in my chair. He pointed a finger at me and nearly growled. “Our lifestyle is different from the outside world, damn it, and the sooner you realize and accept that, the easier your life will be. That boy loves you and if he wants to get his dick wet elsewhere when he needs it, then you better believe he will. What? You don’t think a man outside of our world wouldn’t cheat on you? Don’t flatter yourself too much, Evie. Men are pigs, and women are disposable.”
I wasn’t sure if it was the morning sickness or my anger toward him that made me want to throw up, but I couldn’t think about it too much. I pushed up from the chair and ran for the closest bathroom before I got sick everywhere.
How could my dad say those things? Didn’t I mean anything to him? I wasn’t disposable, I was one of a kind and damned if I wasn’t going to prove it. I rinsed my mouth out and opened the bathroom door to find Gearhead standing there.
“Got a minute? I’ve got some news…”
“Is it going to make me sick again?” And when Gearhead slightly shrugged his shoulders, I knew that what I was about to hear wasn’t going to be good.
I lied there in bed, staring up at the ceiling as Mandi’s naked body draped over mine. I had one arm behind my head and the other resting across my chest, too afraid to move or touch her. I couldn’t stop thinking about Evie and what she would think if she ever found out about this. But at the same time, anger built up inside me and I didn’t care if she found out. Part of me wanted her to. If she honestly didn’t want me anymore, then I wasn’t going to sit around and wait for her.
Mandi shifted next to me, running a hand up my stomach to my chest. “What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing important,” I lied, but it was none of her damn business. She was just a good lay that took my mind off of things for a short period of time. Nothing more.
I pushed her leg off as I sat up on the edge of the bed and grabbed my jeans. I needed to get out of here before my thoughts took over and made me over-analyze things; which I was often good at doing.
“Where are you going?” Mandi sat up, dropping the sheet from her chest as she looked at me with a brazen promise in her gaze.
I cleared my throat and tried not to react to her nakedness, which was turning me on, but damn it! Why couldn’t I keep my dick in my pants? If I could figure out the trick, I could change things with Evie.
“Back to the clubhouse. I was sent here for a reason.” I slid my shirt back on before I shrugged on my cut and slid my feet into my boots. I knew if I turned around, I would be tangled in the sheets with her again. Taking a deep breath, I left the tiny bedroom of the trailer and stepped out the front door, taking in the fresh air.
Once I entered the clubhouse, I was greeted by Jimmy Dunken, Charlie’s kid and Sergeant at Arms. I was supposed to help train him, but there was something about him that I didn’t like. I knew we were going to butt heads sooner rather than later.
“You know what I don’t understand?” Jimmy leaned against the wall, one leg crossed over the other, while he ran a blade under his fingernails. His gaze turned up to mine as I groaned.
“Don’t care,” I replied as I kept walking down the hallway.
“How you can be with a bar-maiden over that fine piece of ass. What’s her name? Evie Kidd. Mmm, I’d like to get my teeth on that fine ass of hers.”
At the mention of Evie’s name, I stopped dead in my tracks and whipped around to stare Jimmy down. This guy had no right to talk about Evie, and the way he talked about her made my blood boil. My hands fisted at my sides, ready to crack some skulls. After all, they didn’t call me Knuckles for no reason. I was a tough son of a bitch and never lost in a fistfight. Ever.
“What the fuck did you just say?” I clenched my teeth, nearly growling out my words.
Jimmy laughed as he pushed away from the wall, clearly not affected by my staredown. “I was just mentioning that I think you’re fucking nuts for sleeping with trash over treasure.” He shrugged. “But I should thank you. Now that Evie’s back on the market, I think I might take a stab at her. With my cock.”
That was it. He just fucked up. I launched at Jimmy, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt before I slammed him up against the wall, putting a hole in the sheetrock. Dust and debris flew around as the two of us went back and forth with our swings. We each made direct contact with the other’s face and jaw, bones crunching.
“Damn it! What the hell is going on here?!” Charlie barked as he and another guy from the club pulled the two of us apart. We were both just as bloody as the other.
“Your son doesn’t know how to keep his fucking mouth shut!” I was still fuming and still wanting to pound Jimmy’s face in. But I knew that it wasn’t going to help my standing here with the club.
I shook Charlie’s hand off of me and stepped back, trying to calm down.
Charlie glared at Jimmy. “What the hell is he talking about?”
Jimmy had a stupid cocky grin on his face, and it just pissed me off even more. “Nothing, Pops. Just a few words between me and the new guy. No worries.” He straightened out his cut and winked at me as he walked past me.
“Dusty, a minute?” Charlie gestured for me to step into a room just off the hallway.
Even though I really wanted to go back after Jimmy, I straightened my cut and stepped into the room as Charlie shut the door behind me. Jimmy will get a beating again real soon.
“Tell me, what did my son say?”
I wasn’t the type to tell just anyone my business, but I knew that if I didn’t, Charlie wouldn’t trust me enough to help him get the club up and running. Taking a deep breath, I relived the scene in the hallway for Charlie.
After I was done with my story, Charlie let out a breath.
“My son can be a real asshole sometimes, but don’t mind him. He likes to talk shit a lot,” he paused and studied my face, making me uncomfortable. “So, it’s true then? You aren’t with Axel’s daughter anymore?”
I hated to admit it, but I nodded anyway. “She didn’t like all my sleeping around.”
Charlie laughed. “I hate to break it to you, kid, but most women don’t like that. Even if they say they’re cool with it, they usually aren’t.”
“Well, obviously, but now I don’t know how to fix it. How many times can a guy say he’s sorry until she believes it?” I was getting frustrated over the subject all over again. “She irritates the hell out of me.”
Again, Charlie laughed. “Well, I can tell you that you’re heading in the wrong direction by your decision to sleep with our bar-maiden this morning.”
I fucking knew that.
“Can I ask you why you sleep around?” Charlie added.
I cocked an eyebrow at him. Was this guy serious? No way was I going to sit here and have a heart-to-heart with some dude I just met yesterday. For all I knew, Charlie was a bigger man-whore than I was.
“Humor me for a second. I might surprise you with what I have to say afterward.”
Sighing, I caved in. “I honestly don’t have a legit reason as to why I fuck around. I get a few drinks in me and see all the sexy women around, and then I want to fuck them. It’s as simple as that. When Evie isn’t there, I have to get my rocks off somehow, don’t I?”
“Ever heard of jerking off?”
What a ridiculous fucking question. Of course, I’d thought about that. At one point, I gave myself friction burns from jerking off too many times in one day. Teenage testosterone, am I right?
After I nodded, Charlie smirked. “Do you feel a difference between sleeping with Evie versus sleeping with those other women?”
I had to think about it for a second, but when I did, I realized there was a huge difference between Evie and all the rest. The others were just a way to release my stress and then I went on my merry way. But with Evie, I could get lost in her; lost in the moment of feeling pleasure throughout every cell in my body. And I never wanted to leave her bed. I wanted more and more, no matter how tired I was. My hunger for Evie was never sated.
“Your face tells me everything I need to know,” Charlie said. “Remember what you just thought about the next time you’re presented with an opportunity to sleep with someone other than Evie.”
“How do you know this shit?” I honestly wanted to know where all of this came from.
Charlie’s expression fell. “I lost the only woman I ever loved because of what you’re doing right now. The only difference is, I didn’t have anyone to help me realize it before it was too late.” Charlie left the room, leaving me to the silence and my spinning thoughts.