Never Have I Ever

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Chapter 30


"This has been my favourite evening of the holiday." I mumbled, snuggling into James's chest.

He kissed my forehead, and I looked up so I could see him.

"Actually, scrap that. It's my favourite evening ever!"

He cupped my chin in his hand, a smile spreading across his face.

"Me too."

Our eyes locked and a sharp pain ricocheted through my chest.

"I don't want to leave you." I admitted, blinking back my tears.

James sighed, leaning back into the mattress and taking me with him. It was still a warm evening, but now the sun had set, the sea breeze was more cool.

"Then don't." He whispered, wrapping a woven throw around our naked bodies.

I groaned, burying my face into his muscular chest.

"If only it was that simple."

He gripped my bottom, lifting me up, so I was sat astride him.

"It is that bloody simple. You stay with me, and I'll take care of everything else."

His hands moved to my breasts, cupping them tightly.

"And what about my job?" I asked, resting my hands on his shoulders.

He snorted.

"You don't need one! I'm incredibly rich, don't act like you haven't noticed."

I stared down at him, a smile drifting across my face.

"Do you realise how insane this conversation is? We haven't even known each other for that long."

He shrugged his shoulders, and I sighed.

"It's important to me I have my own money and independence. If I quit my job to stay with you, I'll regret it in the future."

He sat up, clasping my face and pressing his lips to mine.

"I could give you a job. How about becoming my personal assistant?"

I kissed him back lightly before answering.

"You already have one of those."

He shook his head.

"Kate works for both me and Richard, but he always takes priority. Actually, I think she might prefer him."

I made a sympathetic sound, brushing his hair back from his face.

"Oh no, you poor thing! Does she not make your coffee for you?"

His phone started ringing from the table, and he flipped me to my back.

"Not always, and I can never make it as good as she does. That's why having my own personal assistant makes so much sense..."

He kissed me on the mouth, and as always I responded enthusiastically.

"Would I have to call you Mr. Graves?" I breathed, closing my eyes as his mouth travelled to my breasts.

"Oh, yes. And there would be a very specific dress code."

My back arched as he tongued my nipple, his mouth warm.

The phone started ringing again, and he groaned, resting his head between my breasts.

"I should get that..."

He gave me one last kiss before getting up, and I stretched onto my side, admiring his perfect body as he walked away.

"I'm going to take it inside. The signal isn't great out here."

I nodded, remembering I meant to clear the table once we'd eaten. Instead, James had insisted we move to watch the sunset.

Then one thing had led to another...

"You feel so fucking good."

His grip of my hips tightened as he spoke, and lighting bolts of pleasure
shot from between my legs to the rest of my body.

"Fuck me..." He muttered, his breath hitting my back in fast bursts. "Like you're made for me."

I was.

Our bodies aligned perfectly, our movements in perfect sync. All my love for him hummed through me, my pleasure becoming too much to hold back.

"James!"

I gasped his name as his hand moved between my thighs, his thumb rolling in circles.

"Come with me." He commanded in my ear, as the cusp of my orgasm struck....

My cheeks heated, shivers running through my body. I'd gone years without sex, but three weeks without making love to James was going to feel like forever.

I wrapped the throw around my body and knotted it at the top, inhaling when I caught the scent of his aftershave. Would it be embarrassing to ask for one of his tops before I left? I felt like I needed something of his to help me cope with our time apart.

I strolled over to the table, clearing the plates and cutlery.

"You're fucking kidding me!"

James's voice travelled through the air, and I glanced inside. He stood with his back to me, one large hand grabbing the nape of his neck. He seemed stressed, and my mind raced with what could be wrong.

I balanced a few plates on my arm and navigated my way inside.

"Don't do anything else till you hear back from me." He said, his voice low.

I placed the dirty dishes on the counter, and he jumped, shooting me an annoyed look.

"Sorry!" I mouthed, smiling at him.

He walked out of the room without replying and my chest tightened.

Stop being sensitive.

It was probably something to do with work, or maybe even Bella and her husband. I kept myself busy by loading the dishwasher, trying to ignore my biting paranoia.

Once I'd finished, I looked up to see James stood in the doorway. He'd pulled on a pair of shorts, but no top. I took in his folded arms and tight shoulders.

"Is everything ok?" I asked, my trepidation increasing.

"We need to talk."

Oh shit. That was not a good sign.

My stomach sank as I watched him walk to the couch, gesturing for me to join him. Each step felt heavy as I followed, my panic increasing. Once I was sat down, he reached for my hand, the same way a doctor might when they were giving you bad news.

"I need to ask you something, and I want you to be honest."

I gazed into his eyes, feeling apprehensive.

"Who are you?"

I let out a shocked laugh.

"Oh God, I thought you were joking about the job! Are you going to interview me and ask for a CV?"

He sighed.

"I guess that depends... Does your CV have your real name on it?"

I froze, the sensation of ice gliding over my skin.

"What are you talking about?"

He stared at me for a long moment, his eyes flickering with emotion.

"Why is there no record of you anywhere before 2015? It's as if you didn't exist till then."

My mouth opened, but no words came out. Georgia was the only person who knew about my new identity. Surely she wouldn't have gone to James behind my back?

"I-I don't know what you mean." I stuttered, pulling my hand away from him.

"Yes, you do. I can tell." He replied, his eyes not leaving mine.

Guilt flickered up inside of me as I shook my head.

"Why are you even saying this?"

He pulled out his phone and placed it on the coffee table.

"I hired a private investigator to look into your past. That was him on the phone. He's got nothing before you lived in the US."

"You did what?" I exclaimed, jumping to my feet.

His head sank back into the couch.

"I wanted to locate Tommy. I needed to know if he was still a threat, and this seemed like the best way."

I shook my head in disbelief.

"You went behind my back and ignored my wishes. How could you give some stranger permission to delve through my life like that?"

He looked across at me, guilt and anger blended together in his eyes.

"How could you lie about who you really are?"

I took a deep breath, the knot in my stomach tightening.

"I've been my true self with you, James. The woman you fell in love with is real."

He folded his arms across his chest.

"That's funny, because all I can think is if you lied about your fucking name, what else are you hiding from me?"

I pulled the blanket tighter to my body.

"It isn't about you! How can you not realise that? You've been in my life for a few weeks, that's all."

A tense silence filled the air between us.

"I think I should go back to the villa." I muttered, turning away.

I made it halfway across the room before I felt his arms around my waist. I yelled as he hauled me backwards, pressing me against the wall.

"That's how you want this to go? You run off and leave me wondering who the fuck you really are?"

I struggled against him, my chest tightening.

"I shouldn't have let any of this happen. You shouldn't have…"

"I shouldn't have what? Fallen in love with you? Cared enough to want to protect you?"

I blinked back tears.

"That wasn't what I meant."

"Then tell me what you mean? I'm losing my mind over you. I deserve the whole truth." He breathed.

"I shouldn't have let myself get so involved with you. It isn't fair. I'm sorry." I muttered, staring down at the tiled floor.

James pulled back, hurt spreading across his face. Hot choking tears burnt at my throat as I rushed outside to find my clothes.

"Sophie!"

I heard him roar my name as I pulled on my dress, my shaking hands making it difficult.

"Do not run away from me."

The crickets chirped in the dark, oblivious to the change from paradise to disaster zone.

"Maybe it's better this ends now. How could we possibly be in love after such a short time?" I yelled, turning to face him.

My own words raked at my insides, raw pain stinging every part of me.

"You can run away and keep your secrets, but you're deluded if you think that means we're over." He exclaimed, the moonlight gleaming over his strong body.

My racing heart slowed to a painful thud, and I bit down on my lip. Walking away from James would be excruciating, no amount of distance or time would ease it.

"Knowing I'm not worthy of your trust kills me. I don't want you to feel you have to hide anything from me." He confessed, shortening the distance between us.

I closed my eyes, struggling to find the words to explain my feelings.

"It's not that. I trust you, and I even understand why you feel the need to find Tommy. You want to protect me, the same way I want to protect you. That's why I haven't told you... everything."

I felt him step closer, and when I opened my eyes, I was gazing at his handsome face.

"The past is of no consequence to us. Whatever it is, we'll face it together." He rasped, his voice heavy with emotion.

"Oh God, James. I'm sorry." I whispered, chucking myself against his body.

Tears spilled down my cheeks, and he grabbed the back of my head, pulling me up into a fierce kiss.

"Don't doubt what we have." He fumed, his eyes furious. "That hurts more than anything else could."

My body shuddered, and I nuzzled into his shadowed jaw.

"I never want to hurt you."

"Then let me in."

His voice was more of a whisper, the desperate edge to it stabbing my gut.

"Ok." I relented, "But, promise me something first?"

"What?"

I tilted my head so I could see his face.

"Don't add to the torment by going after Tommy. I lost my parents and baby because of him. I'm not losing you."

His jaw tightened, and I could tell it was taking all his restraint to keep calm.

"He shouldn't get away-"

"James."

I pressed two of my fingers over his mouth to silence him.

"You give me a peace and love I never thought possible. That's what I want, not revenge or retribution."

He hesitated for a long minute before kissing my fingers.

"Ok, I promise."





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