Mr. Casius Bourne
Another half an year,another school.
I hate changing schools so often,I hate moving every 6 months. And no,I’m not a student,I’m a 27 years old English teacher. But I still hate it. I hate myself for being so powerless,I hate myself for falling into his trap,I hate myself for being so gullible. But what I hate the most,it’s HIM !!!
I hate the chills that runs down my spine when I think of him,and no,there are not nice chills. There are the kind of chills that you would feel when you’re in a graveyard at 3 in the morning and you hear a baby laugh. Those kind of chills.
He destroyed my life. And he still does. I’m on a constant run,always watching over my shoulder,always paranoid when I see some black SUV,black van,big guys in black suits. I used to be happy,I used to be cheerful,I used to be a romantic,and I used to write. That’s why I studied English literature. But he broke me. Now I do it because it’s my job. Yes,I lose myself sometimes when I read a novel and imagine,or even hope than one day I will find my prince charming,the one who will help me find the light from the end of the tunnel,but I quickly shake it off,because I know that even if I would find someone,nobody would love me unconditionally. My package is just too big,too scary. I’m damaged beyond repair.
My best friend Mia is the only one that knows about my past or present. After I managed to run away from him,I broke contact with all my family. Ok,let’s be clear,when I say all my family,I mean my baby sister,because my parents disowned me. And my sister is not quite a baby. She’s 23 now,but I had to leave her. To protect her. Because I know that HE will not hesitate to kill or torture to get to me. But Mia? Well,she’s like a...parasite. In a good way. When I first ran away,I broke contact with her as well,but she managed to find me. But after the third attempt,after she made me swear that I won’t try and hide from her ever again,she told me how she would always find me. She gave me a watch for my birthday and it has some kind of tracking device in it. And that I shouldn’t bother to throw it away,because she has other means to find me besides that,just in case.
“Lost again?” Mia’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts,and I’m glad that we’re not video calling right now,because she would definitely take the first bus and come by as soon as she would see my face. She lives a few hundred kilometers away from me,but she’d do it. Even if it’s 2 in the morning and she’s in her pink pj’s. And I’m being serious. She did that one time. Not in the pink pj’s,but in the middle of the night.
“Just wondering about the new school.” I say it as cheerful and normal as I can,hoping that she’ll not notice the anger and frustration behind my voice.
“Maybe you’ll meet some hot sport teacher.” She says it playfully,and I can see her wiggling her eyebrows.
“You say that every time I switch schools. Most of them are either old either fat. It’s not like in the movies.” She definitely has to stop watching those hallmark movies.
“That’s not true. My teacher was hot as Hell.” I roll my eyes,because,as I said,she says this every time I switch schools,and if I’m not gonna interrupt her,she’ll tell me all about his 6 packs, blond hair,and so on.
“You fantasize a lot about teachers. I think you have a problem.” She laughs,and that pulled a smile out of me.
“No,I fantasize about you getting a hot teacher. Noooo I don’t want to imagine dirty things with you and... Ohhh God!!! Why did I say that? Now I imagine...ohhh Jesus! I’m doomed!!! Erase the image pleaseeeee!!!” The rest of her monologue it’s muffled by my chaotic laughter. Now I’m sorry that we’re not video calling,I would die to see her facial expression.
“Karma is a bitch! Maybe now you will stop.” I say it while I try to stop laughing and she sighs dramatically loud and I laugh again.
“Nothing can stop me and you know it! I’ll just think of my cat and birds and it will pass. Ohh nooo,now I think about my cat going on a kill spree of birds! Poor little birds! I think I’ll abandon her. Jesus,what a cruel cat!” Now I’m just holding my stomach because it starts to be painful,but I can’t stop laughing. God,I love her with all my heart. I really don’t know what I would do without her. Probably go crazy.
“Even though I do think that your cat is somehow evil,I don’t think she’s a serial killer,so don’t abandon her without any evidence.” I managed to say between my sobs of laughter,and she starts laughing as well. My heart seems lighter and the air is easier to breath. That’s Mia. My antidepressant.
" Ok,I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. For now.” She says it on a serious tone,as if her cat being a serial killer it’s really a possibility .
" Wise choice. But I think I’ll go to sleep now,tomorrow will be a hard first day.” I sigh involuntarily,because honestly,I’m really not in the mood.
" Cas,smile. Tomorrow you’ll find your one true love. Mark my words.” And I start laughing again.
“Don’t laugh. I have a feeling that this sport teacher will be hot. So,put a smile on that abnormally gorgeous face of yours,because tomorrow you’ll meet your life partner.” And I continue laughing. Even if I would find someone,I don’t know if I even remember how to flirt. It’s been so long since I’ve been with someone that I actually think that I’ve became a virgin again.
“And about gorgeous,believe me,now I’m far from it.” I say it as I calm down from my laughing marathon.
“Casius,you are the most gorgeous man I ever saw. If you wouldn’t be gay,I would’ve kidnapped you and forced you to be mine. You’re gorgeous even in the morning. I mean,who is gorgeous in the morning? Let’s be honest. And don’t tell me Tom Hardy,because we don’t know that for sure. I haven’t seen him in the morning,but I saw you. And you’re damn gorgeous. ” I want to contradict her,but it has no point and it’s dangerous. Last time I did that,we were in college,and she took a picture of me when I woke up,then she conducted an opinion poll throughout the campus. And I’m not joking. The woman is batshit crazy.
“Goodnight Mia. I love you.” She giggles victoriously and I roll my eyes.
“Sweet dreams Cas. I love you too,and good luck tomorrow.” I hang up and go to my room and lay in bed,hoping that I’ll be able to catch some sleep and I won’t have any nightmares.
I’m awaken by my alarm after not even 5 hours of sleep,and,as usual,I groan in frustration while I lazily go to take a shower and prepare myself for school. White shirt,black suit and black shoes. That would do.
I look at all the boxes that are scattered around the house,and for a second I really consider taking them all in the back yard and burn them. The idea of unpacking makes me gag. I turn and get out of the house fast,because I’m 2 seconds away from really doing that,and drive to school. I park my car and sit another 2 minutes in the car,just looking around,thinking how in 6 months this will be just another distant memory.
“You can do this Casius. One day will be over. One day you’ll park your car in the same spot for years in a row.” I tell myself the same speech as always,but each time I say it,it seems less true and more like a distant dream.
After the useless pep talk,I get out and head to the principal’s office. I suppress my need to laugh at the whispers that are said as I walk down the hallway by the blushed groups of girls,and put my most serious face on,because even a small smile can lead them in the wrong direction. Been there,done that.
I had to move earlier because of a sympathetic smile. I saw one girl curled up on the ground,crying her eyes out,and I made the mistake to ask her what’s wrong. She told me she’s heartbroken because her boyfriend broke up with her,and when she actually looked at me,all the tears faded and the nightmare began. At first it was innocent. Love notes left on my desk,but then it got bad. She found out my address and started coming over and stay in front of the door for hours,crying. Then there were the suicide threats. I had a talk to her parents and advice them to take her to a therapist. And I moved. The point? No more smiles.
“Good morning,I’m Casius Bourne. The new English teacher,the principal is waiting for me.” I introduce myself politely to the elderly woman that took a few seconds before she actually looked up at me.
“Good morning,nice to meet you.I’m Frieda. You can go in. He’s free.” She introduced herself as politely as I did,and smiled warmly at me.
“Thank you Frieda.” I smiled back,and before I got to knock,the door opened and the principal greeted me with a smile and a hand shake. The man is smaller than average,and despite the fact that his hair is grey,he’s only 35,and if man looks pass that,he actually looks like he’s in his early 20. Weird,but true.
“Mr. Bourne,you made it.” He gestured for me to get in,then we both took a seat,and talked until the bell rang.
“Thank you Steven,I’ll see you around.” I say with a polite smile and he smiles back,then extends his hand for me to shake it again,before I go towards my classroom.
Let’s the fun begin!
I get in the classroom and my biggest nightmare came true. Damn! Ok,calm Casius,don’t get fired and locked up in jail in your first day!
A guy,that at first sight looks like he’s 22-23 years old,black hair styled in a messy way,tall and big,muscular big,wearing some torn black jeans,a black leather jacket,a white t-shirt that exposes his neck tattoos,and a cigarette in his mouth,is sitting on my desk like it’s the most natural and normal thing to do. The cigarette is not lighted,but that’s not the point. The point is that I have to keep my temper in check,and not kill him.
He probably wants to see until where he can fuck with me. Spoiled stupid brats! Well,not far!
I go to my desk,not minding him one bit,put my briefcase on the left side of the desk,clear my throat,even though I don’t have to,I have all the attention in the world.
“Good morning. My name is Casius Bourne,your new English teacher,but you can call me Mr. Bourne. ” Everyone is in shock,probably wondering why I don’t say anything to the brat that’s on my desk.
“We will start with a Quiz test. Don’t worry,it won’t be graded,but I want to know your level.” The shock is still there,they are looking between me and the brat,with wide open eyes and open mouths.
I open my briefcase and take the tests,then give them to the girl that’s in front row,to spread them.
“Are you being serious?” And,the brat spoke! I keep my calm and don’t address him a word.
“And don’t forget to write your name. Remember,it won’t be graded.” The girl hesitantly gives the papers to the boy behind her,but they all seem to move in slow motion,still shocked by the fact that I didn’t say anything. I go back to my desk,and I see that the cigarette is now on the desk. I take it and throw it in the garbage can,earning myself a low dissaproving groan from the brat.
“Hey,that was mine.” He says it in a deep,slightly irritated voice,but again,I don’t spare him a glance.
“Good luck and do your best.” I take my book from my briefcase,and sit down on my chair.
“Are you really going to ignore me?” The irritation in his voice is growing,and with that,my heart. He’ll flip,I know he will. And when he’ll do,we’ll have our little chat.
“Are you fucking blind or deaf?” And that’s all I need. I quickly get up,grab the front of his neck and push him down hard,making his body collide with the desk,causing everyone to gasp loud.
I tower him,our faces inches apart as I look straight into his eyes.
“If you think that whatever you’re trying to do here,it’s gonna work with me,you’re fucking wrong. Now,get your fucking ass off my desk,and go fuck yourself,will you?” Ok,I know,it’s not very nice of me,I’m a teacher,I should be against violence,and I am. But this kind of students only respond to this kind of warnings. And it’s not like I actually hit him,and about cursing,he probably curses more often than I do. So,don’t judge.
He licks his lips that curl into a smirk,while he looks at my lips. What the actual fuck? The shock made me loosen my grip on his neck,and he whispers low,so only we can hear.
“Fuck,you’re hot. I saw you on the hallway. I suspected that you’re a rough one,but I wanted to make sure.” He says it while he looks me straight in the eye,and I lost my speech. I did not saw that coming. AT ALL!
“Can I go now...Sir?” He emphasized the word “Sir” in a sexual way,and bites his lower lip seductively,causing my grip on his throat to loosen. What in the name of God...Is this really happening?
“Keep that mouth of yours clean. It’s a little dirty,don’t you think?” I ask,and his smirk becomes slightly bigger.
“Not yet,but I would love to get it dirty.” His voice,even though it’s a whisper,somehow,it’s deep and husky. His smirk gets bigger,and his green eyes,that now,are a few shades darker,lowers to my dick.
I’m dumbfounded. I’m in shock! I let go of him and straighten up,and I honestly want to pinch myself and see if I’m dreaming.
“Go!” I say it in a commanding,intimidating voice,but he doesn’t lose the smirk. It doesn’t work on him. Instead,he gets off the desk,winks at me and goes. Out. All the way out. Out of the damn classroom.
“You’re a badass.” A girl’s voice brings me back to Earth,and I look at her confused.
“Isn’t he in this class?” I ask her,and she shakes her head.
“No. He’s the...well,bad boy of our school.” Just fucking perfect! Only I can get so damn lucky! Let all the trouble come to Casius! Why the fuck not?
“And what was he doing here? Or is this some kind of ritual of his?” I ask genuinelycurious,and again,she shakes her head.
“No,he never did that,from what I know. As for why he did it,I don’t know.” I fake a short smile and sit back on my chair.
“Ok,continue with your test.” I say as I sit back down,but they started whispering. Girls that I’m hot,boys that I’m a bad ass.
“I don’t see any of you writing!” My voice comes out loud,and everyone stopped in an instant. I open my book and try reading,but I can’t help wondering why he came here? I mean,someone normal would just stay behind class and pay me a compliment. But that wasn’t a compliment,that was...what the fuck was that?
And the way he said it,he didn’t even hesitated,no shame,no fear. Brats! I just hope I won’t have to move before I get to unpack. Ok,this time is different. He doesn’t seem the type to cry for hours in front of my door or threaten to commit suicide.
The class ended,and another one begins. Students are coming in,and a certain black leather jacket caught my eyes.He looks at me and smirks again,biting his lip as he checks me out. Calm down Casius,he’s not worth the jail time.
I pretend that I don’t recognize him,and go on with my class. As before,I gave them a quiz test,and continued reading my book. I can feel his gaze on me,I know he’s looking,but I won’t look back.
By the end of the class,I decided that it’s for the best to have a talk with him. I can’t avoid this,and the sooner I get rid of him,the better.
“Jacket! You stay!” Everyone stopped from getting their stuff and look at me.
“I was referring to him!” I point at the brat,and everyone looks at him.
“Or you want to spend another hour with me?” I ask as I lean on my desk.
“I wouldn’t mind. Even more.” I hear a girl whispering to another,and I suppress a laugh. I look straight at my leather jacket boy, and he leans back on his chair,lick his lips and eye fucks me. God help me!!! Everyone gets out,and he stands up and comes in front of me.
“Tell me your name.” I say it in a demanding tone,but he looks unfazed.
“Am I in trouble,Sir?” He keeps his smirk,and I suppress a smile. He’s something else alright.
“I don’t know what games you think you’re playing,but I’m not here to play. I’m your teacher. Don’t ever talk to me like that again. I guess you’re bisexual or homosexual,and I have nothing against it,I respect an---”
“I will fuck you.” He interrupts me,and says it like he’s never been more sure of anything in his life. Am I missing something here?
“Are you trying to get on my nerves? I know you’re the big bad boy,but you don’t intimidate me. Quite the opposite. I’m the kind of teacher that fucks you up,and then gives you detention.“He licks his lips and looks at my dick.
“I’d love for you to fuck me up.” He looks back up at me,and I honestly don’t know what to say anymore. He has an answer to everything. And he somehow manages to involve sex in each and every one of them.
“Kid,don’t get on my nerves.” I say it on a threatening note,but he is as unfazed as ever. And he definitely doesn’t look like a kid.I mean,he’s as tall as I am,and I can see he’s built as hell. But I need to use terms like this,not to lead him on.
“Will I get punished?” He says it in a seductive manner and bites his lower lip. Which,by the way are plump and pink. Not that I wanted to notice,but it’s hard not to,considering the fact that he’s either licking them or biting them.
“Do you have a mental problem that I should be aware of?” I ask with a hint of fake concern in my voice,and he looks at me from head to toe,eye fucking me again.
“A big one.” He said it on a more serious and husky voice,then comes dangerously close to me,leans in and inhales my scent hard.
“You smell fucking delicious.” His voice is deep and filled with desire. I just froze for a second.I must admit that I never confronted with something like this.
Except that one girl,the rest of the girls that hit on me,went away blushing after 5 seconds. And NONE of them did or said something even remotely similar to what he’s saying or doing.
I push him,and damnnn I was right. He’s built alright. His chest is hard as a wall. He nonchalantly takes a step back and bites his lip,his green eyes filled with unholy thoughts.
“Don’t do that again. I told you,I respect your sexual preferences but I don’t share them.” I try to keep my voice stern and serious,hoping that he will get the point.
“I know for a fact that you do. And we will end up fucking on this desk one of these days.” His light green eyes turns a shade darker as he finishes the sentence,and I don’t know if I should be flattered or just punch him. But what I know it’s that I’m confused. How does he know that I’m gay? He doesn’t,he’s bluffing. I don’t know him.
“Your name again?” I ask,but after the look on his face,I don’t think I’ll get an answer.
“I’ll tell you when you’ll be ready to scream it,when I’ll be buried deep inside of you. Until then...it’s pointless.” He smiles,and I can’t help but smile also. He’s fucking straight forward. There’s no ounce of shame in him.
“Kid,even if I would be gay,you couldn’t make me scream your name.” I mock,and he raises his eyebrows,looking at me in disbelief.
“Wanna bet?” He looks down at his jeans,and involuntarily I look also. A huge bulge is about to rip his jeans apart. Fuck! Ok,recollect Casius,he’s your student,you can’t look at his dick!
“Just because you drive a SUV doesn’t mean that you’re a good driver.” I say it in a cocky tone,but he just smiles,turns,and walks away.
“We’ll see about that. You’ll change your mind once I’ll make a perfect park in your garage.” His voice is loud enough for me to hear,but low enough to sound seductive. Fuck off. He looks over his shoulder,winks at me and gets out the door,leaving me speechless.
Did a 17 or 18 years old kid just shut me up? As I said,he looks like 22-23,but that’s not the point. And he knows for a fact that I’m gay? Did I fuck him before? Maybe lied about his age? Nooo. I would’ve remembered a dick like his. Ohhh sweet Jesus,now I’m thinking about his dick! Don’t think about his dick Casius!
The day ends,and fortunately I haven’t seen him again. I gather my stuff and go in the parking lot,and...I see him again. He’s leaning on a bike,that I can tell it’s a Kawasaki Ninja H2 Carbon. I love bikes,I owned a few,but I gave them up,because it’s hard with moving around. But that’s one Hell of a bike. And it suits him. It attracts attention and it’s not subtle at all.
Our eyes lock,and he smiles,then looks at me from head to toe,licking his lips. Really?
He puts his helmet on,which is black pitch,my favorite kind,then he hops on the bike and ride away. Did he wait for me? No. I don’t think so. Anyway,I’m glad he didn’t approach me. Even though,he said what he wanted to say with that nasty look of his.
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Thank you and I love you all! Enjoy.
