Wicked Trust

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My legs felt shaky for a good hour after the trip to the spa. I didn’t know what magic he worked on me but I had been walking on a cloud for a while. All my cares seem to have left when he was around. He had the ability to make me feel somehow youthful again. I have been locked up inside myself for some time and never realized it could be like this.

What we did at the spa was risqué. It was like nothing I had ever done before and I loved it. My nipples still tingled every time I thought about it. Not even my encounters with Charlie have ever made me feel this way. Actually, with Charlie, it was the opposite and I usually felt worse about myself after, more confused and fraught with remorse than ever before.

When JJ finally showed after his workday concluded he was dressed in a faded orange shirt with faded blue jeans that curved around his skinny ass. The same ass I couldn’t wait to get my hands on. From the play we had earlier I felt revved and aroused at the prospect of more sex with him tonight. His clear sea-colored eyes still sparkled with mischief and his hair was newly washed and combed although the windblown way it sat only added to his charm. With roasted vegetables in the oven and a vegan lasagna baking, I hoped he wouldn’t complain. The vegan lifestyle took a little getting used to but I would not change my eating habits for him.

Meeting him at the door, he leaned in and brushed his lips across my cheek and it made me realize he still abided by my request for no kissing on the lips. It centered me and I told myself to keep my guard up, at least for a little while. I really didn’t know this guy. As much as I wanted to throw myself in his arms, there were too many secrets between us. My secrets.

Throw myself at him? Here I was turning thirty-nine as of tomorrow and I currently acted like a schoolgirl. Reign it in Nina. Fall for him and you would end up with a broken heart or worse, hurt him with all your secrets as well.

JJ brought a bottle of wine — non-alcoholic wine — and I couldn’t think of a better accessory to go with our meal. We ate as we talked about his day as well as giving him a little information on mine. He helped me to clean off the table and finally admitted my cooking tasted good even though it was ‘healthy’. We grabbed our wine and headed over to the couch to continue our conversation. When my phone chimed on the end table where I had been charging it I saw the look in his eyes as Charlie’s name appeared on the screen.

His jovial expression turned serious and he looked apprehensive. Hurt dulled his eyes but it shouldn’t since I told him about Charlie before things started between us. He went to hand me the phone but I stopped him, “Ah... I will read it later.”

Nodding, he sipped from his glass but I could tell a question loomed in the background. Looking down he sighed and quietly asked, “So what is Charlie to you?” I knew it was coming but I wasn’t ready to go there. Charlie would always be difficult to explain.

“A friend.” I kept my voice light as I answered.

“With benefits?” I cringed when he said it.

“You could say that.” I had a hard time meeting his gaze. I knew he didn’t like my relationship with Charlie, but he also didn’t understand what we had in common. Charlie was there to push me when I needed it. Charlie gave me a way out of my pain and anger and as much as I hated to admit it, it worked and was something I still needed. That alone made me afraid enough to hold on to Charlie tighter.

“JJ, I don’t want to talk about Charlie. Not now.”

He wouldn’t let it rest, “How long have you two been seeing each other?”

Exasperated, I sighed, “JJ...”

“You have to look at it from my point of view. It is killing me knowing you have another lover even though it shouldn’t. We aren’t exclusive, I get it, but just to think about someone else in your life causes an unease I didn’t even know possible. Someone else gets to touch you, gets to pleasure you. Now more than ever it is grating down on me.”

“Why now?” Why couldn’t he just let it rest for a while? Why batter me on this when I was already mixed up and in need of time?

“Because I am falling for you.” His words stopped my breathing. He was falling for me? Did he love me? This was too fast, too soon. He couldn’t have such deep feelings for me. We had fun, but he still didn’t know the real me. Once he found out about my past and realized who Charlie was to me he would turn his back on me. He wouldn’t understand and I would be left with nothing. I couldn’t let that happen.

“JJ, you won’t understand--”

“Help me to understand.” I heard the plea in his voice.

I shook my head, “Charlie... helps me.”

“Let me help you.” His green-blue eyes looked at me hopefully.

Unable to meet his gaze I talked into my hands, “I am not ready to give up Charlie.”

“I might not have my shit together but I could try.” He thought my indecision was because of his history and it couldn’t be the furthest thing from the truth. He impressed me because of what he went through and what he had already overcome.

My hands were twisting in my lap and it wasn’t until he moved closer in front of me and brought my chin up that I could look at him. “I can’t talk about Charlie yet. Please understand.” His eyes swam in front of me. Disappointment ensued, but I didn’t think he would understand what Charlie meant to me.

JJ sighed, “Then I will deal with it.” His proclamation astonished me. He cared enough about me he would be willing to share me? If he only knew that Charlie really wasn’t a threat to him and that I just needed time to sort it out, he wouldn’t have such a forlorn look on his face.

Before I changed my mind, I leaned in and kissed him on the lips. It started out innocent enough but took on a carnal passion that I had only dreamed about. That kiss said a lot. It showed him I would be willing to try and it showed me I really wanted to.

JJ focused on my lips as though they were forbidden fruit and my moan of pure enjoyment reverberated in our mouths. He sought out the kiss and pulled it from me leaving me just as wanting as he did on the massage table earlier today. His kisses went from tender to punishing and confused my senses, driving me insane with need. He tasted of the mock wine and something richer, like the first drop of rain before it turned into a storm, and I liked both.

When kissing got too intense he focused on stroking the outside of my clothes, over my bra, and teasing my breasts with his touch. I delighted in running my hands through his hair and then brazenly running my hand down his muscular chest and stomach to stroke his hard cock through his jeans. Groaning, I knew he could only handle so much. He flattened my hand against his crotch to stop the onslaught and I giggled at the pained expression on his face. A truly agonized cry reached his throat, as he asked, “Can we finish this in the bedroom?”

I laughed as I nodded my head yes and then said, “No,” teasing him in the same way he did to me earlier this week. Another groan of displeasure erupted from him before I clawed at his shirt buttons and started to undress him as he tugged at my clothes. Shifting and moving on the couch we manage to expose my body and his within seconds.

Glancing at my purse on the kitchen counter, I realized I didn’t even have another condom in there. I used it up at his house and never renewed my supply. Thinking we would need to suspend our sex drive and take it in the bedroom he surprised me by pulling out a condom from his back jean pocket. I cocked up my eyebrow, “Hoping to get lucky?”

Caught, he looked up at me gauging my reaction, “Ah... hoping, praying, and willing to beg at this point.” His quick wit and sarcastic nature along with the playful banter we had between us delighted my sense of amusement. He worked an honest laugh out of me and for the hundredth time in the past couple of days I wondered how he did it. How he could be a light on my darkness and make me feel whole where few others could.

He removed it from the wrapper and I watched him roll it on his nice sized cock as my breathing increased. Unable to help it, I enjoyed watching the physical aspects of what was to transpire. I liked watching his beautiful cock and I liked watching when he stroked my body. Being blindfolded by the washcloth this morning excited me but this made me throb with a need I never felt before. Just seeing his body naked next to mine cause a heightened desire I had never known. Maybe it was my scientific mind or just a basic fascination but I loved the anatomical look of his hardened penis. The veins as they snaked from the root of him all the way to his bulbous glans head. The change in color as I palmed him. The drop of semen on the tip before he put the latex over it. It was nature at its best and it turned me on to watch.

When he fitted the condom securely in place, I straddled his lap and lifted my hips, lining up my core with his fisted shaft. Kissing his neck, I broke away just long enough to watch him split open my labia with his penis to feel it already pulsing against my sensitive tissue. Mesmerized, I watched each time he disappeared inside of me. I took it all in. How wet I became, how it felt going slow or going faster, and most importantly, how it looked. Bringing my eyes up I met his watching for any repulsion in my blatant carnal visual fetish but there was none. Instead, he had a drowsy-eyed look of pleasure on his face and as soon as my head came back up he cupped it and brought me in for another breath-stealing kiss.

With our bodies sliding next to each other I rode him on the couch, my sensitive breasts and nipples were stimulated by the small hairs on his chest. I fisted his head like a madwoman needing all the tactile stimulation I could get. His hands moved down to my hips but were there to rest as he let me set the pace I wanted. When I leaned back to get air, he went in for the kill assaulting my nipples with his tongue as I slammed forcefully on him and clamped down on his cock trying in vain to get the right pleasure that would send me into oblivion.

His lips worked wonders on my puckering nipples and his hand dove in between us to reach my clit. I tilted back and watched but as the sensation kept climbing there was a need to close the gap. A need to be with him and not just in sex. I understood the physical response, but there was another response to sex I needed as well. One I didn’t know if I was ready for but in the throes of passion, most decisions were based on what felt good, and what felt good to me right now was being with this man and not just any person.

Grabbing onto his shoulders I hugged him close to my body and arched into him shuddering in response to his body inside mine. Goosebumps, millions of goosebumps broke out on my skin as I screamed out in my release. Only after I had used him for my pleasure, and only after I came down from my descent, did I feel him gather his hands on my hips and push down to send him over the top as well. My need to orgasm seemingly outweighed his own and I kissed him grateful for his attentiveness. No one had ever been so in tune with my needs. No one cared enough to make sure I received my pleasure first. Sure, I was married before, and we had the usual sex life most married couples did but to think the average sex life was all I could strive for, well, I never knew how it could be when you gave in to curiosity and took a chance.

Why? Why did I feel I could explore my sex life with JJ? Was it because of his past? He had quite the wordly experience with women. He was always so open and honest with me about it and I never shied away from asking my questions as I realized he satiated my intrigue with his truthful responses. JJ had pretty much done it all so anything I asked, anything I became curious about or wanted to try, would not be deflected like it might have been with my ex-husband. The freedom was alleviating any doubt or morbidity to my inquisitiveness.

With my ex-husband, I had to be the good wife, with JJ I could be... me.

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