Wicked Trust

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JJ

The sun went down in the sky and I felt worse than before if possible. This time I was positive I was going to die and I welcomed it. Dying would be a pleasure. I laid on the mattress on the floor of the sunroom as Bonnie sat in the corner and read her book, preventing me from leaving but not giving me an ounce of sympathy. Not that I deserved it since I struck out against Chelsea, the one person to believe I could kick the drug horse, and it gave me an all-time low.

The lock to the door turned once again and when the door opened I knew death was coming for me. This time in the shape of Brandt. His eyes blazed on fire and his face shone an angry red color. Unabashed rage pulsed through him and I knew why. Chelsea told him. They must tell each other everything, how cute. Well, everything except his past that was.

“You FUCKING ASSHOLE!” He hurried over to the mattress and picked me up by the collar of my vomit stained shirt while he punched me in the face. The first punch hurt the worst and I tried to protect myself but had been too weak to bring my arms up. After the third punch, his strength and rage started to diminish as well as my sister finally regaining some pity and coming over to block him. Not because she necessarily wanted to protect me but if she didn’t he would surely end up killing me. The thing was, I welcomed it.

As he stopped I tried to goad him farther, “What? Are you done already? I still have my teeth.”

Blood spilled from my lips as I lolled my head around looking for him. “You had to do it, didn’t you?” He came at me and picked me back up again. When my head snapped back, his grip faltered a little. With his hand cocked back Bonnie screamed at him to stop. I heard her yelling but was too focused on Brandt to give a shit what she told him.

Do it, Brandt. One big hit and it would be all over. End my pain already.

“Brandt, please. You are killing him.” Bonnie’s voice sounded choked up and I couldn’t imagine why. She had known for quite a while what a fuck up I had been. She even accused me of causing all our mother’s health issues over the years although I didn’t think Alzheimer’s disease was brought on by having a disappointing son. He brought his hand back one more time and I pleaded with him to do it. With a look of contemplation on his face, I knew he wanted to. Just do it already!

Instead of granting my wish, he dropped me back down on the mattress making my head hit it hard enough to see stars. “You are not fucking worth it. Do you hear me? You are out of the band and out of my life for good. Stay away from me or the next time I won’t stop!”

My vision came at me with black spots to the point I felt nauseous again. I turned my face away from him and vomited next to the mattress. Bonnie rushed to my side to hold my head up, so I didn’t drown in it.

I heard the door to the room slam shut and held on for another bout of dry heaves. Only when I was sure he wouldn’t be coming back did I start to sob. I didn’t know whether it was because he had been a friend who I had betrayed yet again or the fact he left me there alive.

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