HAWKE

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33. I Won't Lie

I’m on fire.

The insides of my body burn with desire, demanding this man beneath me in order to survive. I can’t withhold any longer and by the look of it, he can’t either.

“Cam,” I moan as I continue rolling my hips into him.

His hands slowly find their way up my thighs and around to my ass, clawing at my skin between his fingers firmly, before softly running his hands up to the top of my hips.

“I’ve never felt anything so smooth,” he smiles with that lazy, blissful grin and it takes everything in me to not lick his entire face like some sort of sex-crazed maniac.

I find the edge of his shirt, pulling it up. He sits up a bit so I can remove it, his hair becoming disheveled in the process and falling into his eyes again, making us both laugh. I quickly take my top off, then draw my hands to my back to remove my bra.

There are no inhibitions, only the need to feel his warm skin against mine. I feeling like I’m floating on a cloud of velvet and pillows, and the need to immerse myself in these sensations, never more present. His face turns serious, his eyes darting back and forth between my body and my eyes as he watches me undress.

He swallows, licking his lips again as his mouth drops open at the sight of me topless, in only my underwear before him. We begin touching each other, running our hands over our bodies, living for the feelings, the deep emotions that come with it. I roll my eyes into the back of my head as he begins kneading my breasts in his large, strong hands.

“You’re beautiful,” he says, placing kisses all along my chest and neck. “You’re unbelievable, and you’re mine.”

A moan escapes me at his need to claim me, as my head hangs back, basking in pleasure.

“I need you.” I drop my head down to face him, the desperation in my pleading tone. “I want you inside me, I need to feel you everywhere.”

We’re both falling into our own euphoria at each other’s touch. Losing ourselves to the gratifying excitement of these electrical signals firing away inside of us.

“It’s going to feel better than anything you’ve ever felt,” he whispers, looking into my wild eyes, pulling me by the back of my neck to his mouth.

Our tongues mesh together, sliding back and forth forcefully in a devilish tease, as our chests seal, rubbing against each other. I’ve never felt so awakened and present. I’m totally living in the moment with him and am finally enjoying my downfall, the release of inhibitions, the becoming of me.

“Have you done this before?” I ask, not even caring about the answer at the moment.

“Never.” His eyes are wide with wonder and excitement. “I just already know.”

He reaches around my thighs as I scoot up further onto his chest so he can undo his pants, pulling them down his thighs just enough to do what we need to do. Pulling himself free of his boxers with a slight grunt, I pull my underwear to the side, angling myself for him. His chest is rising and falling with a quickened speed, his eyes locked in on mine as he brushes himself against me before pressing the head of his cock into me.

I hold onto his soft, warm chest, rubbing my thumbs over his nipples causing him to hiss through his teeth as I sink down onto him. Every inch that I take in feeling like an explosion of endorphins and adrenaline within me.

“Fuck, I can’t-” He drops his head back against the seat, closing his eyes, as his hands fall to the side. “I can’t take it.”

“Oh my god, Cam, yes,” I moan breathlessly, beginning to glide up and down the tip of his hard shaft. “This is amazing.”

Once I reach the base of him, feeling him deeper than ever before, I adjust to the thickness and begin moving faster. The warmth and immeasurable sensation of us connected has me crying out as I find my pace. His facial expression and the sounds escaping his throat, are the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen and I will do anything to keep him looking like he’s immersed in the best experience of his life.

“You’re doing amazing,” he says, giving me praise. “Open your mouth.”

I open my mouth, sticking my tongue out slightly as he places the two fingers that were just inside of me, on his tongue. He quickly sucks them, and places them in my mouth.

“Taste yourself, you’re so fucking sweet.”

I suck on his fingers, as I continue swallowing his thick cock in my walls, sending shock waves of pleasure through him. He can barely keep his eyes from rolling into the back of his head at the sensation of being inside me in two different ways.

He grabs for the back of my neck, pulling my forehead down against his as he continues thrusting his hips up into me, filling me with his hard, velvety cock. “Fuck, you make me feel so alive.”

I love this feeling of enjoying something so new, and erotic, and wild with him. I love that I make him feel those same things, that together, we’re in the depths of our own darkest desires, spiraling completely out of control.

I licking his lip ring, and finding my way in to his lips, kissing him with my entire body, before pulling back to look at him again. “I see it so clearly now. I’ve been asleep my whole life before you.”

We’re totally rolling on our high together, exploring these newfound sensations, as we continue connecting in the most exhilarating way. I can’t get enough of him, my heart, my soul, everything aches to be the one for this man. I’ve given in now, I’ve let go. I’m here and I’ve made my decision. I’ve fallen into the only thing I’ve tried to deny myself. But I won’t deny myself this anymore. As much as it doesn’t make sense to me, I know somewhere deep in my heart it’s right. We are right.

“Cole,” he whispers, trying to get my attention.

I’ve sealed my eyes shut, as the sensations electrifying throughout me become too much to bear while I ride him, my sex rippling with pleasure at every roll of my hips to meet his.

“Baby,” he comments again, wanting to say something, and I blink my eyes open to find his.

“Tell me you love me,” he demands, his emotional eyes staring through me. “It’s okay if you don’t...you don’t have to mean it. I just want to hear you say it.”

My eyebrows draw together in confusion. I feel the pain, the agony, the heartbreak burning through his soul. As much as I’d like to believe it’s simply the Molly talking, I get the sense that it’s only released his insecurities, his needs. He’s desperate to be cared for, so much so that even me lying to him would satisfy this primal need to be loved.

“How could you ask me that?” I question, feeling horrible for what he’s going through.

He places his hands above my hips where his fingers claw into me, lifting me up and driving himself deep again with a guttural groan in his throat.

“Just tell me, tell me you love me,” he says it again, pleading with me.

“I won’t lie to you, Cameron.” I sink down onto him again, causing his eyes to squint as his lips part open.

“I just want to know what it’s like, just once.” He pulls me down to him, kissing me, his tongue running the length of mine, while his legs bend at the knee, giving more leverage to push up into me.

There’s no coming back from this.

“I love you,” I whisper the words, looking down at his chest.

He thrusts into me harder, making me gasp with a quick burst of pleasure, then tips my chin up to face him.

“Look at me,” he says breathlessly, but with an urgency. “Cole, look at me when you say it.”

We’re colliding together with such a force now that my eyes are watering. I moan and cry out as he continues to drive into me, pulling me down onto his lap again and again, the bottom of my thighs slapping against the top of his. With his hand around the back of my neck, he pulls me down onto him, holding me tightly in place while our foreheads remained locked together, planting himself as deeply into my walls while we stare into each other, waiting for the phrase he so desperately seeks.

“I love you,” I say the words, finding his soul beneath the surface of his ocean-like eyes, and it changes me. “I love you, Cameron.”

I can’t describe the feeling. It’s terrifying, it’s amazing, it’s real, and it’s so completely raw. I feel stripped of everything that I am because my truth is now exposed, even to myself. I love him, and I can’t explain it. It doesn’t make sense to me, but I guess it’s not supposed to.

He looks at me with the saddest, most appreciative expression. I don’t know the last time he’s ever heard someone say they loved him like this. Maybe never. He trusts me, to let me in, to show me how much something like this means to him, how everything before this didn’t matter, because now, he’s seen love. He’s seen the truth in my eyes, he’s drowning in it.

He looks in amazement at my lips as if he could see the words on my truth telling tongue. He gazes into my eyes stilling for a moment to catch his breath.

“Cole, I love you.”

The words fall from his lips so easily, almost as if they weren’t intentional, but they are.

I feel myself begin to spasm around him and I know it’s only a matter of seconds before I fall. He sucks my bottom lip, rotating his hips, stirring himself inside me, making me feel so full in every way. I cry out, bracing myself with both hands on the sides of his neck, our foreheads still together as the electrifying feeling stems through my entire body.

“Oh, god, I feel it, it’s happening,” I moan.

“Yeah?” he asks, breathlessly.

“Yeah, I’m there,” I cry out.

“Oh yes, let go around me,” he groans, driving harder into me, as I reach my orgasm. “Come for me, baby. Fall into it.”

I begin shaking, embracing the explosive orgasm that literally takes over my body, as I feel him begin to shudder beneath me. Finding my lips and keeping them connected, he loses himself in me with a breathy groan. His mouth opens as his eyes seal shut. I feel the warmth of him deep inside me. He continues the motions, the wetness intensifying with the knowledge that no protection was used.

“Cameron,” I whisper breathlessly, holding his face between my palms, the numbing sensation taking over.

He drops his head back against the seat, gazing at me with half lidded eyes, his chest billowing. We’re both basking in the aftermath of our pleasure.

“I told you I wouldn’t lie to you,” I whisper to him.

I didn’t lie to him. I didn’t lie at all. I meant those three little words more than I’ve ever have before. This love is wild, it’s raw, it’s unplanned, but it’s real.

“I love you too, Cole,” he answers with a lazy half grin, his palm against my cheek, thumb brushing along my cheekbone. “I do. It doesn’t even make sense to me how we got here, but I do.”

We are both in so deep. Too deep. The depth we’ve succumbed to will drown us in darkness, both of us willing.

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